The heaviest rose of all

Sadly..the season is over....Sigh.
While I don't feel sick to my stomach like Jo Jo frequently did...something doesn't sit right with this ending.

The men met the families.
Robbie seemed way more certain than Jordan did. Maybe I'm reading too much into this show...but it seems that what Jo Jo says she wants and what she actually wants seem very different.
She wants someone who loves her, won't disappoint her..someone who commits to marriage...but all the guys that showed this to her in the who...James, Luke, Chase, Robbie..The thicker they vocalize their love for her, the quicker she shoots them down.

And it continued with this show...
It was Robbie who was super enthusiastic with the family meeting, the one on one..then in his note to her (that was ripped out of a notebook). The guy even put socks on for her for the final walk down the beach..and did she choose him??noooo!!!

Jordan doesn't give her what she says she wants, greets with with a What's up? on their one on one..and gives the most circular of arguments when she's so disappointed that he didn't ask her dad.

But Jordan does a final Hail Mary and calls Soraya and Jo Jo's (adorbs) dad and asks for their permission...They say yes..so Jordan quickly writes her a note card and jo jo is a mess again...likely because she was going to pick Robbie  and now she's confused/sick/panic-stricken.

Maybe Jo Jo likes the emotional rollercoaster with Jordan.

The men both meet Neil Lane..and even though I think/know diamonds are overrated and overvalued..the one Jordan picks was so pretty.

When both men were coming to the beach..i didn't know who she was going to pick..and when I saw the show coming out of the truck.with a sock..i thought it was Jordan for a sec.

She didn't pick Robbie...and then she got sad..but then she got her second wind..

Jordan comes down..and says a few things..and she interrupts him and says she loves him!!!
He gets down on one knee..they're both shaking..she admires the ring...and she happily says yes...then..she gives him the rose and he forebodingly says "the heaviest rose of all"....

Does this mean something....is Jordan unsure.

Well..according to After the Rose..he is going to pick up his bed and luggage and move to Dallas..
Will this love last....dunno...hope so...Jo Jo worked so hard for it..

until next time..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Oh Mylanta!

Somebody please hand Jo Jo a bottle. That gurrrrl is sick to her stomach. All. The. Time. This show should come with a warning label May cause heartburn, upset stomach and an overwelming urge to crouch in formal wear (or lean over a balcony in you are Jason Mesnick).

Rose Ceremony..
we pick it up this week with Jo Jo crouching on the tarmac...will Luke's last minute profession of love lead to a change of heart.
Nope!
Luke is denied...and he's confused. He just doesn't get it. I think he needs to mosey back to the farm to think about it.
If I was a betting person..i would have selected Luke over Chase.

Off they go to Thailand...for the ...whah?? Jo Jo called them Exotic Overnight Dates. I thought the show was going to mess with ritual, but it was her error. They still are ..the fantasy overnight dates. phew.

First date.
Robbie.
It is hot hot hot in Thailand.and she likes to tell everyone she's sweating all over.
They go to a market, get rained on.then they head for Thai massages. Which it looked like a foot massage..and then feel they must make out while they are in separate chairs. After the massage they find a place on the dock so they can kiss some more.
Dinner  (and card presentation time).
Jo Jo looks smokin' hot in her red dress and her beige heels...that whole look was working for her.  Robbie showed up in a jacket. The look was good..but the lone bead of sweat on his forehead put the word effort in the effortless look he has going on. There was a lot of reading on this date.. Robbie pulled something out of his pocket..a letter! not for Jo Jo..but for Robbie from his dad..that Robbie wanted Jo Jo to keep in case she felt doubt. Huh? So Robbie thinks a 3rd party endorsement will help Jo Jo believe him that the past is the past (and yeah..that relationship with his ex was over 9 months before he broke it off). Huh? Robbie is so confusing...how did he put the 9 month date on it. Can you back date a break up?Maybe he has a letter from his ex that he can pass to Jo Jo.
Jo Jo passes him the date card...And before you can say "Swimmers take your marks", they are off to the fantasy suite.
Jo Jo reveals..."I feel ready and want to be intimate. And I want to take that next step." I'm thinking   they are totally playing scrabble and staying up all night talking:)
She ends with "I've always wanted to feel so special and so loved"
Hmmm...sounds like it's all about her ego.
Cut to the morning..where it kinda seems like she needs to get outta there...they ignore the breakfast at the foot of the bed.


Next sweaty date: Jordan
This date Jo Jo's eyeliner seems a bit excessive.or maybe the pencil melted as she was applying it.
Jordan says that they have fun on the dates...but maybe because he' always winning on the dates..roses, at the football game.
This date they go for an uphill hike..they are both sweaty. I"m unsure why she has a shirt tied around her waist on such a hot day...but it was for the sacred temple..where she laments she can't kiss him..but they still are intertwined. Jo Jo always needs validation.. i.e. Jo jo to Jordan "Don't kiss me, I know you want to". Yeesh..i almost feel bad for her.

At dinner...before the card presentation.. Jo Jo needs more..
she starts talking about how this decision and marriage is such  big deal.....where Jordan replies.."the biggest moment is when the guy talks to the daughter's dad". Seriously Jordan..that's your biggest moment..getting approval from another male?? Sigh.
Then Jo Jo circles in to ask..what does the next year look like for you...and Jordan can't tell her (bad move Jordan..jo jo likes all the right answers for all the right reasons" Then he tells her he doesn't need a home base. What is his job? And that answer didn't help. Then she talks about her fears and what Ben said to her. she really needs to put Ben down.
Then Jordan finally tells her that he's a better person with her and he thinks about  a wedding day it is with Jo jo. Thats' the ticket to the key Jordan...
the date card comes..and Jordan's response to the date card was "Okay fine"

Things must have been fine because Jo Jo stayed for breakfast. She also said they took a step in a very exciting direction.

Chase is chasing.
Chase is grateful, optimistic and showering love and toasts on this date. The fish juice dripped on his t-shirt..must have been some type of foreboding on this date. Chase was laying the love on thick...and when it came to date card time...he accepted... They enter the suite through a sliding door...interesting..I wondered if they did that because it was the exact same room as the other one. Chase toasts again..and tells her he loves her.but uh-oh. Jo jo's not feeling well...she needed some air and realized she can't spend the night with Chase. Good decision Jo Jo..you're already in love with two guys. Chase doesn't take the news well. He can't believe he divulged all that and now he's out. But really..noone is forcing anyone to say anything..just because Jo Jo likes to hear that stuff..doesn't mean you have to say it.  Jo Jo explains she doesn't want to do to him what Ben did to her (oh please, Ben again!!)Chase leaves..Jo Jo follows..and then he tells her she did exactly what Ben did. Jo Jo then chases Chase:)...but there is nothing she can say. Chase someone secures a can of beer..and says he feels like his pants were pulled down and he was kicked in the nuts. Eloquent.  I wonder if he could get the key to his room back.

Rose Ceremony.
Hallelujah for hot weather..I like Jo Jo's outfits better in the heat..She looked fantastic...loved her jewellery..Jordan wore tight pants, flip flops and a lot of hair spray. Robby wore his signature loafers (sockless) and a to of Dippity Do to secure his hair.
Jo Jo descends and tells the guys how she let Chase go an how upset and angry- what..wait.here comes Chase. Jordan is in disbelief.. Chase gets a moment of her time...and proceeds to do one of the most mature lovely things in Bachelor history..he told her he was upset last night, but is not angry at her, he love her..and respects her. And he wasn't there to ask for a second chance. Nicely done Chase..then he walked off...Not sure if he did squats that morning..but he was looking mighty fine in those pants.

 Jo Jo was back to feeling unwell.

But she collects herself then she goes back to tell the guys she doesn't love Chase..so maybe letting them know she loves two people instead of 3 makes them feel special?

Then she hands out the roses. Why did she pick Jordan first? Does it matter? does that mean Robbie is the last one standing?

Judging from the previews next week, Jo Jo's going to be sick to her stomach a lot.

She did say earlier "When did falling in love become so hard"...

Tomorrow...MTA..then next week..the big finale.
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Cotton candy

I like this show too much....so far I've upgraded my cable to watch it earlier, plan to work out around the show and don't tend to plan any social things on Monday... I'm a bit obsessed.
 This episode was a bit like having cotton candy..lots of anticipation, pretty colours (on Jo Jo..her nail polish (fab), her romper, sweater,blouses. eyeshadows and new purply lip colour), so much fluff...but in the end..not enough substance.

Seriously...i don't understand her . Married people...do you arrive at the decisions to marry someone because the other person loves you?

So weird.

Home towns.

Chase
Here's the highlight. Chase told her she is falling in love and Chase's mom and Jo Jo both commented they look like they can have a good time. Whah?
Chase wants to find Real Love. (I think that's a Mary J Blige song).
But do you think he just wants to prove he can make a marriage work??
I was late to Chase's date..not sure when the divorce transpired...but it sounds like it was rough.

Jordan.
His town is called Chico. That's a cute name...apparently means 'little' in spanish..There ain't nothing little about Jo Jo's love for Jordan. She's as excited about Jordan as I am about finding the perfect highlighter at Sephora. Jordan's hair mystifies me. How does most of it stay put in the wind. It's like he fastens a good chunk with bobby pins.
Jordan says he loves Jo Jo..but I read his body language as him being a bit aloof.

I"m not sure why there was a collage of pictures of Jordan at his high school. She nicely dissed her potential future husband by saying she's not surprised he didn't have a girlfriend in high school." He was so small"..hmmm...I'm not sure guys like hearing that phrase:) Maybe that's why he lives in Chico or why he tries to add extra inches with his wind and gravity defying hair.

Holy Jo Jo..what is with digging about his brother. He doesn't want to talk about it.
At Jordan's house she tries to bring it up with brother Luke too..and she mentions there are two empty chairs at the dinner table.

Speaking of the dinner table...is it necessary to be intertwined and kiss at the table. ugh. Unnecessary.
By the end of the dinner..Jo Jo wisely pronounces "He's nobody's brother"...what she meant was Jordan is stellar guy on his own accord.  Sounds like Jo Jo is the one who was starstruck with the football brother...

So Jo Jo had a great date in Chico (and apparently Luke's blonde gf doesn't speak..but she also has some big hair like Jordan)


Robbie's hometown -St Augustine- the city with no traffic

So Robbie orders up a carriage ride for them in St. Augustine. Romantic, perhaps..or maybe there are no Ubers and it literally is a one horse town.  They see the sights..and then they visit his house!
Jo Jo seems to bring flowers and gift bags. What is in all the gift bags??? I"d love to know. They typical hometown gifts are flowers and wine..

Robbie's got a big family. His mom seems pretty nice.
Jo Jo asks some surprisingly insightful questions of Robbie given his very recent split with his 4 year girlfriend. Like Are you ready for this "I don't want to fill a void". Excellent point. Some people need to fill a void for validation...She also asked the tough question if he misses his ex girlfriend. Good question...some people wouldn't want to hear the answer to that.

Then Robbie's mom tells Robbie there is gossip that he broke up with his gf when he was accepted on the show. Oh no! Right when Jo Jo was all consoled that Robbie was on the amazing journey for the right reasons.

So now Robbie has to break it to Jo Jo..This is going to be rough.
Suddenly Jo Jo is questioning again. It sounds like she wonders if people will stick around with her..maybe she has abandonment issues...



Luke
Whoa...this date puts the ho down in home town. Jo Jo shows up in cut offs and cowboy boots (the ones Luke gave her)..she's so whiny..'where are we going?"why are there so many cars?."..well likely because you're no longer in St. Augustine:)
but really..Luke has an intimate gathering of 50 of his friends/family to meet Jo Jo. Let me say that the Jo Jo's stylist did not assist very many at the gathering. She met babies, played games and ate BBQ. Most of them left and so it was just the family.
I cried AGAIN at this show.this time is was when Luke's dad told him how proud he was of Luke...awwwwww.
But his golden advice to Luke was not to make a decision under pressure or a timeline...which is not with this show is about..and remember Jo Jo wants to be engaged after this show:)

Then they say bye to family and go sit and have intense chemistry on the couch made of bales of hay. Luke is such a slow/intense kisser.
He has one more surprise!! an illuminated path to a heart shape....he wanted to show her the Shape of My Heart (that's a Backstreet boys song I think)...well he showed her the heart and told her that she has his heart..what he did NOT say was that he loved her. And we all know that Jo Jo likes to be told that someone loves her...

The Rose Ceremony
Yes to her new lipstick shade..No to that dress. The fabric/style of her dress..what was that? It did put her cleavage front and centre..maybe that was the showcase.

They are at a airport hangar..and then after the ceremony..they climb onboard to the FODs. That looks like an uncomfortable dress to fly in...

She announces she's going to cut Luke..until....He asks to speak with her..and says the words Jo Jo loves to hear "I love you "..and now she's all confused.

That's all it takes to change Jo Jo's mind??

She has some serious thinking to do...and now she will sit crouched in her uncomfy blue dress on the tarmac felling unwell...i think part of the reason is the dress is too tight and it's not letting her deep breathe..
Who is going to go??

Next week we have another TWO NIGHT EXTRVAGANZA...the big decision and Men Tell All..

Can't wait to see Chad, James Taylor and Derek..
until then this episode really was cotton candy..but in the grand scheme this show really is mind candy..regardless...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!

I actually cried

What is wrong with me?
First, I get surprisingly upset/angry/annoyed that the show last week was a repeat then this week I cried at one of the good-byes..
But it wasn't the one with Alex:

Alex 1:1 Date.
I used Alex's one on one date as an opportunity to make tea..and practice a speech for Toastmasters.
His whine-ness, his demeanor, his monologue..all very annoying. It all just spoke to his neediness. Later I stopped feeling annoyed at him but then just kinda felt that he is just needs a lot of validation...Earlier this season I thought James was the one who needed to work on appreciating himself...but at least James has some self awareness about it.

The lack of conversation in the truck ride over was compensated for by some salty snacks. Jo Jo even rebuffed one of his attempts to kiss her with his potato chip lips

Alex became a gaucho..it became very clear that colour blocking doesn't suit him..he likely should go monochromatic.
The guy who tamed the horse..that whole scene was very powerful and so beautiful..it likely was so overpowering the Jo Jo thought for a moment that she had feelings for Alex..I'm guessing the romance of the countryside and the connection between the gaucho and the horse was overwelming..Jo Jo and Alex even share a moment kissing over the horse's head.  If I was the horse I would have been cringing.

Jo Jo sends him home later in the date. He handles it horribly. I expected that. That was very gauche (not gaucho) of him.
PS..i'm not sure which gaucho was which Oscar or Carlos..but one of them was hot..i've realized I generally crush on people whose name start or ends with a vowel. Seems very exotic/international.

And the opposite of that is..
Jordan..the All american football guy whose front wave in his hair rivals some tides in California.
No surprise Jordan gets a one on one. They board a plane..she reaches over for his hand...they hop over to Mendoza..and head to a vineyard. They crush some grapes barefoot, and she's evidently crushing on him...She has to hop over in his barrel...Jo Jo seems so clingy with Jordan..they continue to stomp grapes..then drink it. (Least romantic comment of the season "I drank what your feet touched")...ewwww...she's thrown all infection control caution to the wind. Is that what happens when you're in love???

Jo Jo wants to know who she will meet of the football fam jam. Looks like Jordan is not so friendly with his famous brother. He starts to smack of sincerity...I like it...He's looking better to me:)..Their food remains untouched..Jordan did declare earlier that he's the pickiest eater. That and his hair are annoying:)

Group date
Due to inclement weather the group date activities were cancelled..i was getting the idea..that there may be limited activities in Buenos Aries..so they end up in the hotel room . Jo Jo says she loves local cuisine but orders fries, fried chicken and pizza...No one actually eats this ..except James shoves 25 french fries in his mouth...charming.  Then they play truth or dare..Robby's abs (all 6 of them are on point) are on display..they play charades and watch a Spanish version of the Bachelorette..all in bed together..She takes the men one by one for alone time..and tells each of them something fantastic...

Robby gets the rose and she gets to run her hands done his abs for some extra time.

Save the most intense for last
Luke gets the last date. Luke really doesn't smile..he just does everything intensely...the cowboy side of him..suits him..he even wore a denim shirt..and he wore it so so well. There was even some skeet shooting..and he taught Jo Jo how to hit the mark...Well clearly he hit the mark..it's so evident that she's smitten..and Luke is all in...

Jo Jo sends him to saunter off back to the house..because she don't need no cocktail party..her mind's made up.


Rose Ceremony
The guys all looked good..well James suit looked a little off...but he put extra stuff in his hair to slick it down...an I knew it was between him and Chase..
Jo Jo gives the rose to Luke, Jordan AND....
Chase!?! Whah? what does she have with Chase.

I was legit crestfallen for  James. She told him he has all the qualities in a husband and father..
and when Jo Jo walked him out he was the most delightful wonderful and caring person toward her. His sincerity made me cry...his "everyone keeps telling me I'm a good guy" that was a bit lame and it seemed like he was feeling sorry for himself..but what he said about missing her..and thanking her...what a sweetheart... I don't hope for someone to fall in love with him..I hope he thinks he's the most amazing person and he should be happy with that..and if someone sees that then it's great..and if not..he'll be just fine. I still can't believe i cried...

Until next week..and the hometowns..see y'all in the U S of A..and
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

What happened to Jo Jo's stylist?

This show made every attempt at passion..drama, arts, tango...

It all fell flat.

Especially the first date..where on the date card called out.Besame..

That shout out on the card was for Wells.

Apparently Wells hasn't kissed Jo Jo yet..and the guys were giving him a hard time and/or were surprised he hasn't kissed her yet. So. Odd. 

I found it so odd that they thought it was odd that he hadn't kissed her yet and they were all sitting around saying that he really should kiss her or he'd be gone. So they want all to be swapping spit with each other. I guess on one hand they are very encouraging of one another. It just seems bacteria-laden and kinda like brother husbands (the opposite of sister wives)

Wells looked fantastic. They go out in a market..and in the time honoured Bachelor fashion- he buys her a piece of jewellery. They go into what looks like a museum to view an art installation but there are people cavorting in water sliding above. They go do some performance art..Slipping into some water gear and doing some slip and slide sets the mood for Wells..and they kiss! It's all good..and I don't get as creepy a feeling as when I see Nick or Luke kiss Jo Jo.

Then they head to a hot dinner..so hot that Wells has to take his jacket off. Wells makes a few mistakes...First..he doesn't tell Jo Jo that he's falling for her Second he said that the passion died in his 4 year relationship and they were just best friends. Jo Jo didn't like that- I thought she didn't like the "just best friends" but she didn't like the "the passion died part". Jo Jo is looking for unicorns and fantasy..and she thinks it exists..The sad music came on..Wells is on his way out..

And Jo Jo went to the concert with the performance artists solo. And it rained on her. Pathetic fallacy? We will see...

Group date: a walk..and soccer..

The group date guys go for a walk...then they play soccer. Jo Jo's amazing boots turned into running shoes. 

When the guys (with defined abs) would score a goal..they would lift their shirt up...as some homage to the goal scored.

Then they go sit around somewhere so Jo Jo can have more one on one time to get to know  get flattered by and kissed by the guys.

Luke is first up. Luke is very solemn and is very serious about kissing her.  He's very intense..which borders on too much..but not for Jo JO.she says she's running out of words" to describe the passion they have. All know is he likes to squeeze her thigh and rummage through her hair like he's doing a pat down.

Meanwhile..the not as passionate but super enthusiastic says he's on a train to Jo-Jo ville. Wow James..that's so romantic.Well he may be on the train to Jo Jo ville but he's not conducting himself in a mature way- he uses he 1;1 time to tell Jo Jo that Jordan is entitled because of dispute about the rules of a poker game. sigh..James wants to be upstanding...but you don't get there by putting other people down. Then after telling on Jordan he says "now can i kiss you". Yeesh. He's not got game.

Jo Jo is so upset with this that that she takes Jordan aside and holds his hand and strokes his hair and tells him what she wants to be told and gives him answers to the questions she is asking. Shockingly, Jordan is exonerated. But Jordan is upset by this acton of James' and goes back to the room full of guys and furiously swirls his white wine. That Jordan gets so scary when he's angry.

And the winner of the rose is...Luke. Because he  brought the passion...and left it..on Jo Jo's tonsils.

Most Awkward 2:1 date

A 2:1 date can't be un-awkward..but a 2:1 with a 2:1 tango. Wow. I think I looked away from the TV  more than when Luke kisses Jo Jo. Chase and Derek came to this date to win her over. Derek confidently stated that he's there with his heart and Derek is there with his mind.

That dress was not attractive..did Jo Jo's stylist not make it to Argentina or did the US dresses get stuck in customers and they had to "buy local".

After the dancing they had dinner..and Jo Jo had another unfortunate dress that looked like it had black lace added to it as an afterthought. 

I thought Derek was going to get the rose..but when Chase had 1:1 time Jo Jo told him what she needed to hear and he got the rose. Even though she had to tell him what to say and he looked like a waiter..he still got the rose. Jo Jo said Adio to Derek..and he was left driving away in a black van while the shots switched from  Chase and Jo Jo making out all high school dance like to the song Don't Cry for Me Argentina..while Derek is driving down some unfamiliar roads in Buenos Aires..hopefully he made it out okay..well except for the tears streaming down his face

Who wore it the worst-the cocktail party

Can we take a moment to say that was a hideous blue dress and there were some equally horrible suits.

James Tip Top/Sears catalogue green shirt/tie combo..Alex's awful satin-y tie..that he can't quite tie up...maybe he has a bulging Adam's apple to match is biceps..and then Robbie I don't wear socks tight cream suit. That suit severely limited his ability to have a normal gait. And then Jo Jo's dress..I"m sure someone from my grade 12 grad had that dress...that dress had it all..spaghetti straps, sequins, satin, cinching, length and a train. 

Jordan promises we wants to be in love and engaged at the end of this. Note what he did not say in that statement..it's left for Jo Jo to interpret..and she lapped it all up.

James promises her he will always be there for her

Alex-oh who cares..he's so annoying.

This was such a twist! She hands a rose to Robbie (which he barely made it over to her without splitting his pants)..then Jordan..then declares she can't give out the final rose..and what happens TWO ROSES!! 

James is so thankful.

Alex is yipping that it's a pity rose and he never gets a one on one date.

Where are they going next week...Looks like they are back in the U S of A.

Hopefully Jo Jo's stylist is back with us next week..

Until then

I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Jet lag

This episode felt like jet lag. You know that feeling when you wake up and don't know where you are what day it is or what time it is.

It's been two weeks since  the last bachelorette.and the episode was all messed. The last episode didn't have the aerial shot of the champagne glasses clinking and toasting to the next location 'she' planned for everyone.

It started in Nemacolina Pennyvania (whah, where?) at night and a steamy front door with Chad ominously running his hands down it. He must of followed the bread crumb  protein powder trail back to the house (shameful waste of whey...they likely threw out about $50 dollars worth out there.)

Chad kinda confronts the guys about what happened on the disastrous 2:1..and he starts laying blame..and says his only choice is to get physical...but he does not...hmm. His pool of amino acids is likely low..because he's been wandering the woods where is only readily available food stuff was berries...he probably was  avoiding  the carbs. Evan has the nerve to ask if Chad has his wallet because he wants payment for his shirt..his shirt was likely the same cost as the whey protein isolate that  the guys carelessly tossed into the air.

Evan. is. so annoying.

Chad leaves, unfueled, maybe a bit from anger..and walks into the woods..I didn't see any type of transport to shuttle him away. All that cardio is going to wreck his gainz.

The men that are left happen to have  cupcake cake and cheer that Alex slayed a dragon..and that he's America's hero.  I would disagree. I"m not sure if I find Alex or Evan more annoying.

At the cocktail party..Jo Jo arrives in a sparkly oddly patterned sequined dress. Most of her wardrobe is on point..especially her date outfits..but wasn't a fan of the sparkly dress..and I think her make-up artist hits the bronzer hard..and what the flutter is going on with those eyelashes. There is no space between the lashes. It's a solid dense line of lashes.
But at the cocktail party Chase secured some balls (there needs to be a lot more of that in the house)..but these were bouncy balls that they were playful in. Robby wore loafers with his suit..and he took her near the fountain and kissed her. The guys get jealous..the mood is shifting..Chad is no longer the villain..so they slowly start to pick each other apart.
James wrote a poem..but spared money to put it on a decent piece of stationary.
At the rose ceremony..
James and Daniel are cut. I'm SO HAPPY VINNY STAYED...(and for some reason Wells is getting cuter by the second)
James makes a gracious exit...he seems lovely..but he could have used a stylist.
And Daniel could use a word stylist.I loved his quote "She must be going for personality, because look at the bodies of Wells and Evan"..ahahaha..i liked that he thought he was giving himself a compliment but ended up insulting himself...that guy...should read a book and stop talking.

And the men are off..to..where the rich play...to Uruguay!!!???
(is it really..or is that what the Uruguay tourist board says??)

The good news in Uruguay is that James' eye seems to be healing nicely.

Wells got cuter on the plane ride over.
Jordan gets a first date. The see seals, hang out in a yacht..both looking amazingly buff, jump in the water..go to dinner where she lightly grills Jordan about an ex girlfriend. Basically she wanted to reassure herself that he's not a playah. Well...we know he's not an NFL player..but a playah. He tells her he's not, and quotes his pastor..and she believes him and quickly affixes a rose to his lapel. They dance in the streets. Let's just talk about underwear for a second...was she not wearing any..like she had no lines in that white dress. She looked amazing in that dress..hmmm.wonder if she picked a white dress with Jordan because she wants to send him a subtlenotsubtle message

Back at the house..Vinny was giving the guy haircuts. I love Vinny. They read some magazine about Jo Jo being in love with her ex. They seem to believe it.
When Jo Jo is back from her  seamless date, the producer tells here they need to address the magazine. She cries, head to the guys' room  and reassures them she is here for ................. you got it..the RIGHT REASONS. And she cares for all the guys..a lot..except for the 3 that will be going home in a bit.

 Then they all are supportive of her and don't believe the magazine. .
Group date: Sand surfing and party
Wells, still adorable, doesn't get time with Jo Jo. James tries valiantly to surf. Evan's nose doesn't bleed. Alex does a back flip which impresses Jo Jo. I think Jo Jo likes when guys do back flips for her:)

At the after surf party..Derek opens up and tells her he has felt distant and a bit jealous. He gets the rose..and Alex gets his knickers in a knot...and  proceeds  to pester Derek about it. Alex is like a little bully..and he called Derek a little b#@$h.  Twice. Who is the bully now?


Robby....gettin' real
Robby seemed a bit milque toast for me..well..until he started to get all vulnerable. They had a date..where once again her  outfit was perfectly curated for the date..slightly nautical, casual, comfortable..and she happened to have her bathing suit on underneath. They jump off a cliff into water. That means something in Bachelorandia..it means that if you do some scary thing on a date, you can overcome life's obstacles together. They jumped off a super high cliff..Jo Jo felt secure with him because he's an Olympic swimmer. I'm not sure how that qualifies him to be a cliff diver. But the survived..and made it to dinner. Robby shared that he realized life is short...and he told her that he loved her...They walk outside..and fireworks.


Cocktail Party  No need...Straight to the ceremony


Chris announces he has her mind made up..no ceremony. Guys are worried. Especially Alex.
Jo Jo killed it in her green dress. She looked amazing.

She lets Grant, Evan and..sniff Vinny go.
Grant was upset..Evan..took it personally. He thought he needed more time..no..that's not it unfortunately.
Let's take a moment for Vinny. He's funny, stylish..AND he cut the guy's hair. I liked Vinny..he was sad..he thought their feelings for each other were real.

I'm so sorry to see Vinny go.

Thankfully..i don't have to wait two weeks to watch again!!  Back on schedule.and i think the rose ceremonies will be in their rightful place..at then end of this show.

Until next week.. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Bonus bachelorette

It's bonus time at the Bachelorette.
No rose ceremony but a pool party. There was blood spilled...Evan had a nose bleed in the pool and they all evacuated. So when that happens does the pool get drained? Do they pour extra chlorine in?
The blood wasn't Chad's fault...it was just a random occurrence ...Chad tells everyone to stay away from him. Jo Jo manages to find a secret spot to kiss a lot of the guys.It seems like she seems likes everyone.
Rose ceremony
Christian, Ali and Nick go home
(I'm so glad she kept Vinny!)

They all go the Nemacolin resort where Jo Jo hopes the mansion drama is behind them

Luke and the mushing
I thought dog mushing only happened on snow. There was a lot of mush on this date..surprise Jo Jo likes him..they hit a hot tub (they both look amazing in swim wear)..then have a serious fireside chat.Jo Jo is drawn to his confidence.Luke appreciates moments and really likes Jo Jo...and one more surprise! Luke gets the time honoured tradition of dancing in  crowd on an elevated platform.
he gets the rose..and I think Jo Jo like everyone. Maybe she's just taking Caitlin's advice "enjoy every one".

Dishwashing break
When I saw it was football date with famous American football players and involved a football game..i got up to do dishes.
One team won to spend more time with Jo Jo. James got injured and evan got a random bleeding nose. Jordan excelled at football..and got the rose.

2:1 Nick and Chad and Jo Jo
I was most looking forward to this date. Nick donned his American socks . Chad seemed more rugged...but maybe Nick is more used to water:) Sigh.Nick told Jo Jo that Chad threatened Jordan. Jo Jo then pulls the plug on Chad. Nick and Jo Jo walk hand in hand and leave Chad whistling in the bushes.

But it's not over..Chad somehow meanders slowly to the house...and

we find out in two weeks........
What? Is there something big happening next Monday...ugh..I don't like waiting..but

I still LOVE THIS SHOW!

It's getting hot in here

Whah? A two night extra-vanganza? Yes...an extra night of the Bachelorette.

Yoga Date:
Jo-Jo and Chase have a date. Can we just take minute to give it up for how amazing they both look in their yoga wear. I think it was in a hot yoga studio..and they both looked amazing sweaty. Jo-Jo's pony tail was extra perky.  I think I saw a FB post on how to make that happen. All i know is my gym hair never looks that good. Props Jo-Jo and to your stylist.
But back to the yoga pose where Jo Jo aptly states she mounts and straddles Chase. I'm not sure if it was that or the locked gaze (I did listen to a podcast once about a guy who started a dating thing where people stare into each other 's eyes) but they kiss..and were did the instructors go?

They change, freshen up and head to a vineyard. Chase asks her how she can remember the moment going forward. Awww sweet. Chase opens up..that he values marriage..he consider's it a 'one and done' ..hmm..I think of cream eyeshadow as a one and done type of thing.

Oh and it wouldn't be a Bachelorette.if there wasn't a private concert. I'm not sure if Chase can't dance of if he just wanted to make out with Jo Jo....he's feeling the feels and feeling the bachelorette...


Love has not secrets - group date
Umm..well that was the name of the group date..a bit of a misnomer..The group date has the guys doing stand up comedy / recounting a sexual encounter. Umm..i'm on team Chad on this...unnecessary to be so revealing. Chad was already feeling test-y....like annoyed that he was on a group date..but then got extra testy when he was accused of taking steroids, by Evan. No need for Chad to rip Evan's shirt..but Chad likely has good grip strength (given all the curls and presses and lifting we've seen on the show) and Evan's shirt got in the way.
Vinny doesn't get a lot of air time.but I think I like him..as well as the boxing guy...and props to the boxing guy for keeping he nose out of the fray in the house and among the guys and he's the one with the most fighting experience.
Nick and Evan are getting so annoying with the anti-Chad rhetoric..for some reason I expected more from a marine..more mental toughness.Evan gives Jo Jo an ultimatum...I knew I'd be annoyed by Evan but to have her make the decision instead of him..ugh..oh..and his jeans.at the show..I know ripped denim at the knee is a thing now..but didn't his seem extra super ripped/gaping hole? Dunno.would love your feedback.
Jo Jo gives Evan the rose...and I laughed when Chad looks at he quizzically..and then says "you're really vibing this guy"...i thought the same thing. I don't think Chad's an angel..and  him punching the door was dumb..but i agree with him a lot. Way too much tension and flared tempers on that date. Good thing they had the comforting ride in the paddy wagon the way back..what was that vehicle? Looks like they were being transported to jail. Well..the bachelor mansion kinds is like being in jail. But I do  think that jails have better gyms.


Will it heat up with James
Chase gets a hot yoga class and straddling and James gets a swing dance class .. Will this work for James? James and Jo Jo get a lesson in what looks like a complicated swing dance lesson..then they head out doors..private concert.NO! Maniacal swing dancing. James happily obliges and they free-style.then Jo Jo drives them to a cliff where they have some type of beverage in matching insulated containers (this blog is brand-free:) and the chat. James divulges that he was bullied when he was younger..because of his thin neck...what did they call him."stick neck"..Hey James what is the one word  you can think of that rhymes with Karol (okay feral does but elementary kids typically don't know that word..but barrel..so i'm feeling your pain about name calling)...I wonder if James gets grade school flashbacks from all the bullying that goes on in the house..maybe that's why he wants to have sing alongs in the house.
He continues to say that he feels like women wouldn't be interested in him and he feels like he self destructs..I'm not sure if Jo Jo then gave him the rose out of sympathy...BUT he brought his guitar..and sang her a song..and she was feeling the feels..then they kissed. A lot. Good job James. I think James is falling in love with himself and Jo Jo.

Back at the prison. mansion
So worst/funniest comment of the night came from damn  dumb Daniel..when he was coaching Chad "So let's say you're Hitler"...to which Chad replies "let's not say that". Then let's say Mussolini..no Donald Trump..I think Daniel's point was for Chad to tone it down and not be so disliked. The comparatives were horrendous...You'd think as a Canadian he'd be all "Dude..be a little less Stephen Harper and a little more Justin Trudeau."

Speaking of standing on guard for thee...security has now been called in to keep watch over the house because the guys think that Chad's fromage is going to slip off his craquelin and that he will attack. Really? This whole thing is taped and there are people all over the place...

Evan..(i'm actually annoyed typing his name)..follows Chris after Chris announced no cocktail party but a pool party..and says that something needs to be done about Chad because of his deMEANor and threats of violence. Chris goes back in the house and talks to Chad. Chris is the consummate host ..and tells Chad what he has heard...and doesn't take sides..instead offers to Chris to come up with a solution that will be well received. Hmmm..I wonder how Chris will interpret that...well for that we have to wait until tomorrow..

Until then....I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!

Team Cold Cuts

I think this show might be mainly about Chad, some about Jo Jo and set to music penned by James.
Highly entertaining episode.

First Group Date: Fire Academy.
 Jo Jo arrives at the house and extinguishes a limo that is aflame while the men watch. But the point of the visit to the fire academy date is to see who will save jo jo..and then spend more time with her. But a mere minute ago, when the men heard a big bang from the house and run out to see a limo on fire..they all stand around with their hands in the pockets..noone is rushing around to see if she needs some saving...hmm maybe a visit to the fire academy will help with the bravado. Jo Jo only puts on half of the firefighter uniform. I'm sure her tank top is flame resistant...but the guys all say she's smokin'.

I developed a mini crush on Wells; although he lacks muscle mass, he's cute, self deprecating and funny.
Jo Jo provides an eloquent commentary "These guys are really hauling a$$!". Daniel makes some comment about pulling hoses in his apartment. Sober Daniel remains unimpressive.
Luke almost wins the challenge..but who wins..the firefighter. Yup. Grant represent.
Him and Jo Jo have some lukewarm conversation.
At the little party..Luke and Jo Jo have a passionate kiss..but...
Wells gets a rose. Persistence and humour is the way to Jo Jo's heart.

Meanwhile back at the house...Chad is doing chin ups using a weighted suitcase.


1:1 Derek
Derek is simply adorbs. They make a series of decisions that takes them to the Golden Gate bridge. Someone cheated on Derek:( He opens up to Jo Jo.

Let me say it again. Derek is adorbs.

Back at the house..it's like Bachelor camp and James Taylor is leading them all in a sing a long. It all seems a bit ridiculous..but they all seem like they are having fun, singing about the same girl they are vying for. The Bachelor mansion messes with people's brains..well except for Chad..he and his homie Daniel are hanging out. I think Daniel has a man crush on Chad..as they recline on the couch in their black tank tops..showing their pecs and bis.They try to draw an analogy "if you made a protein shake of the group of guys". What did that mean. That was whey too dumb:)


Group Date at ESPN
They go to a sports station. (Is that actually a TV channel?. I doubt I have it..splurged this season to get the time shift package so I can watch the Bachelor early and not be up late writing the RR.) Jo Jo has this doily-esque blouse ..looks so similar to ones I have folded in my closet that I couldn't throw away in my minimalism challenge because they were gifted to me and  hand crocheted over in Croatia..so I appreciated her blouse .
They meet some hosts..and have some silly competitions like strike a rose, twirl and propose and press conference. This is where I started to like Chad a bit more. I agree with what he had to say about Jo Jo..he doesn't know her or love her, but wants to get to know her. Yup. Agree:)

At the little get together., Jo Jo wore a tassle-y sweater..that kinda reminded me of a blanket you'd get at Winners- but it looked cosy.Chad reveals his mom died 6 months ago :( and that he has his mom's Maltese puppy. He seems kinda genuine with her. Nick chooses to jump and sit in the big chair with Jo Jo. Chad provides commentary that Jo Jo doesn't want a short guy.  Dunno about that...apparently Pitbull's tagline is 'single,bilingual and ready to mingle". (Pitbull has 6 kids and is unmarried)..so I wouldn't write Nick off because of his height:)
James reads her an adorable note..and James gets the rose!


Cocktail party The party where I started to appreciate Chad
All the smack talk about Chad during the party was getting tiresome. Yes, Chad really laid into the cold cuts or as some guys remarked "you're really crushing the food". And if I'm going to get picky- he really could have used a fork. But the guys were relentless in their 'dissing' of Chad.
Chad's comments about feeling like he was in West Side story or that he felt like he was being surrounded by Care Bears made me laugh. When people just talk about other people...i wonder how much confidence and/ or intelligence they have.
The guys seems like they are so offended that Chad won't spend time with them. Then there was the almost altercation and a threat of loosing teeth. Sigh. Why can't people use their words.

The ED specialist apparently has 3 kids..so he can take his own medicine.

sad that Bachelor super fan didn't get the rose..and I'm not sure if the boxing coach got one.
And I haven't seen much of Vinny..but for some reason I'm so happy there's a guy named Vinny  still on the show. Feels refreshingly northside.

Until next week.
I LOVE THIS SHOW!

I Swear

that I love this show!!
But seriously...when there is 90s jamz...I'm even more in:)

Yeah!! New season!
Jo-Jo is back..she's got smokey eyes, a fab fake tan , a fresh ombre and   a glittery dress to greet the dudes...
Oh..but first she has a meeting of the bachelorette minds with Des, Caitlin and Ali...Caitlin was the most casually dressed of them all.(in high top Converse sneakers!).and had the most air time. Loved her toast "Enjoy each one"..nice.
Jo Jo gets ready...odd that she has her shoes on the bed.maybe to show they would be sparkly.Okay but on the the boys I mean men..and not Boyz II Men..All 4 One makes an appearance.

There were the requisite cheesey montages of the guys in their home towns..Grant the firefighter wonders if she will "light his fire" (soooo he can extinguish it?..didn't make sense). Jordan the former pro football player wants to know if he will be the #1 draft pick. I Swear the show employ writers that can harvest cliches and mine puns from any situation.
But not cheesy line for Evan the erectile dysfunction specialist in his hometown. How does he go from being a pastor to begin an erectile dysfunction specialist...and he administers injections? Does he have a medical background...but I wonder if he will rise to the occasion on this show:):)

Oh but Christian..raising his two brothers. Awwww. Christian..and wow you get up early to workout. 3:30. whoa.

Some super cute guys..and some..well..like the Bachelor superfan. Does he want to be on the show or does he want to be with Jo Jo...is he here for the right reasons?

Limo arrivals...
So many guys..
Dumbest comment might have gone to Grant..who told her.."I won't be like Ben and fall in love with two women..i will fall in love with only one girl. "Umm. yeah.there's only once choice here Grant.

Ali..holy..he has a lot of facial hair...super cute..
Robby brought wine. Like there won't be enough alcohol in the house.
James Taylor...great singer..kinda cute.
Daniel..seems goofy.and his occupation is Canadian.
Sal the operations managers..with the blue balls..(is that something Evan can help with?)
Chad..starts a few sentences with hey..seriously..can't you say Hello?
Jonathon..the 1/2 Scottish/1/2 Chinese guy...and his reference to the lower part of this body being Scottish..yeesh..thanks for clarifying.
I like Brandon the hipster.who has never watched the show. Love it:) He'll be refreshing.
Saint Nick came in saying Jo-Jo-Jo!! Clever...can't tell if he's cute. I wonder what was in the box he gave her.
The cocktail party
Oh Alex..and the push-ups...embarassing..only because I've done them myself at a few gatherings..but i didn't ask anyone to sit on my back...it's okay Alex..I've been there and we all make uncool mistakes:)
Daniel tried to explain to Jo-Jo about Damn Daniel...but he said "have you been following the internet the last 6 months". Who follows the internet. Damn Daniel you are not so smart.
Nor is he a smart dresser. Or he put his underwear and tie in the dryer. I'm embarrassed for Canada.
 And isn't Jonathan from Canada...oh..we are not representing:)Then Wells, brings All 4 One back to serenade Jo Jo..I wonder if All 4 One had a few drinks:) Did they have any other hits beside I Swear?
Ooo who was the guy with the awkward kiss? Was it Robby. That was SO. AWKWARD. I felt it through the TV.
But who made up for the awkwardness was Jordan. He came back for a second 1:1 time and a kiss. Good job Jordan.
Then we have Daniel...who wanted to strip down..and show his lats..and his teeny underwear. Makes a splash in the pool then walks around in his underwear for awhile. Best quote about Daniel "He's white Canadian wasted".hahahaha..is that a thing?
Chad seemed like he was angry at everyone...like a the mean guy criticizing everyone. He seemed to be sweet with Jo Jo though.
But Jordan gets the first impression rose! But as the Bachelor superfan noted "Remember Olivia got the first impression rose and she was left alone on a island" Hahaha. Maybe the bachelor superman can give Brandon the hipster some background to this show...Jo Jo says the kiss is so fantastic...AND she feels inspired to do squats.

Rose Ceremony..
Guess who rolls in ...it's a Bachelor throw back..Jake Pavelka!!!What?  Apparently he is family friends with Jo Jo...what? Is there some inner circle of Bachelor contestants? I'm about to form a conspiracy theory...Phew.he is just there to give advice..which i'm not sure what it was..or maybe it was just to let people know he's still looking for love...


The ceremony!
I don't know all these guys...but here is who got the rose!
Luke
Wells
James T.
Grant
Derek
Christian
Chad - he answered I do when she asked if he would accept the rose..hahahahaa
Chase
Alex
Robbie
Brandon(yay!)
James F- the boxer (Yay)
Ali
Saint Nick(is he cute?)
Will
James S..
Vinny
Evan- the ED specialist ( I have  feeling I'll be annoyed by him)
Daniel
In the previews...it looks like Chase has anger issues..and there will be blood spilled.

Until next week..
(I Swear) I LOVE THIS SHOW!

No No to Jo Jo

..


I'm emotionally exhausted...this seriously was the most dramatic season ever.

I kept tossing between Jo JO and Lauren...I was thinking it was going to be Lauren but then I thought maybe the producers edited to look like Lauren but then it might be Jo Jo.

The show is getting even more show-y...bringing both sets of parents and Ben's Pastor to show in case Ben wants to get married that night.  Ben's pastor gets a lot of screen time...

Could Ben's parents be more fantastic. Way to go Amy and David.

The only thing with the meeting of the parents that made me think Jo Jo might not be the one..was that Jo Jo was so so so nervous..that I was doubting if she felt really certain.

Both meetings went well..both girls ditched the short short denim shorts..Lauren went more demure in appearance.and Jo Jo went short and back less. Lauren brought wine sans gift bag (Are there not gift bags on the island..?) and flowers..and Jo Jo brought a conch filled with flowers.


the awkward last dates
Both the final dates felt so so awkward. Guess that happens when you are in love with two people.
Both beach dates and then a short hotel visit...and a short visit on the bathroom floor for Jo Jo..i'm not sure why they didn't think the bathroom would be private. Do people forget their mikes are on? What did Ben leave Jo Jo's hotel room with..what was that silver pot? Was he stealing a room decoration? Was that a gift she gave him??

Neil Lane...
Neil made it to the island with his display of diamonds..he even asked Ben.did you choose one?? which led to yet another video montage retrospective. Ben picks a ring that looks like it's more for Jo Jo than Lauren...

but then..

The Big Day
Ben gets ready..producers shared that Ben is wearing deep blue boxer briefs (into which we find out later that he tucked his shirt into his underwear)
I still can't believe the women do their own hair and make up...but the dresses..Lauren's blue dress was a great colour choice..but what was with Jo Jo..it was like bridal/debutante/mermaid.
The woman have to walk down a long wet slippery bridge...Jo Jo was first out of the helicopter...she started with a nice speech for Ben..then he started..and inserting the 'but' sealed her fate...he walks her to the car...and in her car ride out.she said the sweetest thing " I was so upset but I really didn't want to see him cry". Ben is very upset and takes his jacket off...then we note that his blue boxer breifs are showing...
Ben calls Lauren's dad...who happens to be ready to take a call and grant her daughter's hand in marriage.
Lauren's gets coptered in....she teetered over the bridge in her heels...she has a great speech..and Ben can't wait to let her know that he wants to wake up/kiss/support her every day. They declare  they are 'each other people's'. Oh..and she accepts the final rose.

I LOVE THIS SHOW!

After the rose..
Jo Jo is the bachelorette..she looks amazing.
Lauren is moving to Denver!
Ben re-proposed...but didn't marry her on live TV..good choice:)

Women tell (it) all over again

Not much changed..
RAchel is still unemployed..the chicken enthusiast still likes chickens, Haley and Emily are still steaming mad a Olivia... Caila still loves Ben and Olivia...still is generally disliked.
The new face in the crowd was Sheila the chicken...the show is relying on this animal to provide levity..I still think Avian flu when I see it. I'm not sure how it didn't poop in the what felt like 2 hours..even though I got to watch the PVR'd edition:)  Thanks J!

Chris did an exceptional job hosting..and dug deep into what bordered on therapeutic interventions.

There was a bit of a race commentary..but i"m not sure if Amber or Jami knew what their points were. Were they made at Jubilee's "I'm full black" comment. But if Amber and Jamie are half white, then they aren't full black. To me it's fractions thing...but maybe it's a race thing..i dunno.
I'm thing Amber just wanted lots of screen time.

But Chris did pull out the big emotional guns for Jubilee..he thanked her for her military service..(and she made Sergeant!) and then went deep, deep into the emotional trenches with Jubillee...saying that a great guy like Ben saw something great in you...whoa..Chris..nice try..but it you think that is helpful..it's more disempowering..i.e. a guy seems something worthwhile in you ergo you must be worthwhile... I think we need to give it up to Lace's tattoo about loving yourself first.

Yeah..Ben's nice..for sure..but what he did notice and comment on first when he came out was the chicken...looking right past Caila.
The fricken chicken...treating Caila like chopped (chicken) liver. Sorry Sheila.

I'm not sure if Olivia won anyone over..but it was nice that her sister took on her social media accounts..what a good sister.

What stood out for me on the WTA..as WTF was going on with some of those eyebrows...the worst eyebrows went to Caila and Olivia. You gotta commit to eyebrows..go pro or go home..honestly.According to Youtube..it's Anastasia brow whiz...apparently the brows put on themselves with that product.

Eyebrows aside..i'm going to give  a golf clap to Caila for being so self aware..acknowleding and sitting with her feelings..and saying she wants a relationship like Ben appears to have with the women (yeesh sounds weird)..he's in love with.
Amber -the mom..also said something really sweet..how she cherished how emotional he got when she left..and that she wishes him well.

Grammatical pet peeve of WTA..why do they all say "when I watch it back"...they really should say.."when I watch it"..they aren't re-watching it...because they haven't watched it once already...they experienced it...but they did not watch it..ugh..okay.I feel better mentioning that

Guess what...next week is going to be the most dramatic show EVER!!! But really who is he going to pick...i waffle...

Until next week..I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

It got weirder.

Whoa. Ben. Jamaiacan yourself crazy.

In a really big nut shell..it got nuttier.
It's the FODs...at the Sandals' resort in Jamaica. It looked pretty nice there...When I see Sandals commercials on TV it seems so cheesy...like it is trying to sell a classy vacation...where the the adult commercials showcase women who are always sipping champagne or about to lead a conga line and the men have very little abdominal fat and wear their shirts very unbuttoned and are about to eat some flambed meat.

But back to the show...I can't get into too many deetz since I have an early morning tomorrow.
Cailla...i just had a feeling that she was way more unsure  because she was way too into hime..make sense? It seemed on their chill raft ride that the feelings ran cold. They sipped some coconut water and then were getting ready for dinner...which they didn't eat because she was busy saying she loved him...and she thought she'd get the needed "time" time with Ben. He says he has something for her. Love it..the room key is for her...not for him..She accepts...and then..fireworks..lots of fireworks..the producers had to do something to create a spark. hahaha..i know ...i'm reaching here..but I could sense this was going nowhere..permanent. they have a great night..and drink black coffee in the morning..and they are served breakfast....and they sit holding hands on the balcony..but then he has to go..to sleep with .i mean on another date.


Lauren
What is up with Lauren and her walking...Heels aren't the easiest to walk in..but she's in wedges..and she always looks like she's trying to steady her balance..you think her balance would be great with all the flight attending she does...
Well she did navigate the date well.
Baby turtles. They save some baby turtles. CUTE. Okay..what are the analogies...20 000 turtles saved...20 seasons of the Bachelor...the turtles need to be rescued, some of the women need to be rescued...AND they both need a hard shell to survive this show.
back to the date...
 She wasn't sure if she was going to spend the night or tell him she loved him..but she did..AND he says he loves her too!! She's so happy...and Ben says.."she has qualities of my future wife"...whoa Ben ..easy..we have a few weeks left.
They hit the fantasy suite..he draws the sheers..nto the heavy curtains..lights out..but mikes still on. I wonder how long they have to keep the mikes on.
Although Ben is in love with Lauren..tomorrow is a new day and he must focus on...

Jo Jo.
The wardrobe choice of Jamaica is extra cut off jean shorts. Jo Jo wins for shortest shorts...Ben thinks he's not sure he can keep Jo Jo..unless he has family approval..hmm..i wonder how long that thought will last. They take a helicopter ride!! to the YS falls. They are mesmerized. I interrupt this rose report for a dose of ethnocentrism...but those falls got nothing on  http://www.np-plitvicka-jezera.hr/en/ ...
Okay..back to the show..they jump in (of course)..kiss in the falls.. I keep getting distracted by Ben's tattoo...does anyone know what it says..i got my big fancy TV and I still can't read what's on his tattoo....and then go back for dinner. They discuss the family situation...Jo Jo thinks her brothers are being protective..and will love him..mmm...i'm not so sure after the Lauren spectacle....He presents the date card..she says yes!! and they have their own hot tube. Whoa..Jo Jo..looks amazing in a bikini...
They spend the night..the next morning...I'm thinking Jo Jo packed her Anastasia brow whiz in her overnight bag.because her eyebrows looked perfectly filled in  as the night before.


And then...the surprise.
Call comes to visit...i watched the whole scene with a bad feeling for her. She surprises Ben! Ben surprises her with telling her he's not as into her and he loves two women. that's a one two punch.
She leaves..but then almost jumps out..to say "when did you know"..Ben someone talks his way out of that one..she still loves him..and hugs him good by..and her mantra whilst driving around the big SUV in the small Sandals compound..was "I was ready, I was ready"...


The rose ceremony- two roses..noone goes.
The girls look lovely..Lauren manages to saunter in  in the same wedges. Jo Jo and Lauren talk to each other. Like seriously..what the? how do you just shoot the breeze..i shake my head.

Ben walks in..they both get roses..and he toasts to the women he loves.

Can it get weirder next week?? He loves two women..but can he pick one?? and who does he call on his cell phone..more hotline bling???

Until next week...the WTA...I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Well that was long and boring...and this will be short

This might be the shortest RR
Amanda:
Cool 80 % sleeved top and shorts.
Her kids are adorbs.

Lauren
Ben cries at the hometown...Lauren is definitely front runner.
Why didn't she take her jacket off at dinner
She's in love..but doesn't tell him.

Caila
Toy factory date was cute. Not sure why he felt compelled to carry through the toy store..i thought he was going to try to cross the threshold of their toy house. nope. just carrying her through the factory apparently.
Oh..she's half Filipina..No wonder I love her.
Caila's mom had a beautiful energy..and I loved her dad...
Caila is in love...but doesn't tell him...

All my exes live in Texas..and apparenly so does Jo-Jo's.
I thought it was odd that she got roses at her place..i thought ben was disclosing it all in the letter..but NO! it was Chad? was that this name. Chad had very nice even handwriting on great stationary...Hmmmi wonder if he was coached to do that. I
Jo jo disclosed to Ben the long story..he says he wishes he could have sat beside her to support her.
That Ben is one fountain of support
Whoa..Jo-Jo's mom....was she drunk...my fave was when she took a swing from the wine bottle while the brothers we grilling Ben in the kitchen. I did think Ben was giving vague answers to the brothers earlier. But really..it's been 20 spectacular seasons of the journey to true love...we know the drill..it's a weird way to date..but people just gotta deal. I like that Jo Jo's dad wore a dinner jacket to dinner.

Rose Ceremony
Amanda goes home! Whah? I thought it was going to be Jo Jo...she seemed ticked at him when they sat on the bench to discuss why she was cut....but then she softened and said she'd miss Ben. What was she holding in her hands? a purse? Ben is overcome with emotion..so much so they didn't have the champagne scene where they toast that they are off to Jamaica to sleep with each other....

All I know..it's gonna get dramatic..and
I LOVE THIS SHOW!

It gets weirder

I'm not sure if it's me, but the closer this show gets to the end - the weirder it gets.

I've never seen the show Sister Wives..but it seems like there is an analogy in there with this show. The girls get "excited" for one another when they have one on one dates with the guy they are also dating..and then have a talking circle about their feelings for the same guy.

But here we go...to Warsaw...not that Warsaw..the one in Indiana.

Ben bombs around Warsaw is his red truck. Seems retro..and is just perfect with the cute backdrop of the charming little town of Warsaw.

First..Ben meets his parents in the local (only) coffee shop. I just wanna hug Ben's parents too..they seem happy, warm supportive. They chat..an then Ben has to go pick up his 6 girlfriends.in the boat that he uses for most of the show..since the Bachelor really likes to use multiple modes of transportation to keep the show interesting and romantic.

The girls are thrilled with the house they are staying in..and show their enthusiasm by jumping on the beds.

In the living room, ben announces Lauren gets the 1:1. Yeesh. Sadness befalls the remaining 5.
Lauren sits really close to Ben in the truck (I see that's not only an Alberta phenomenon)..and apparently they don't have seatbelt legislation in Indiana (nor life jackets). Lauren and Ben have what seems a super long date (even with the PVR - thanks Jo-Ann) at the Baker youth club.  I think my favourite  moment of the show was Ronnie the half court kid making a basket from the centre line (is it called a centre line..or does it have a special basket ball name?).  There were too many shots of Lauren high living kids and kids standing around saying how awesome she is.After that they go to the Rex Rendzevous..and then hang out with people. Are they randoms? or Ben's friends. Dunno. It seems that Ben is SUPER into Lauren because he wants to show her all teethings he cares about...that is until his next 1:1


Jo-Jo
Jo-Jo..which I'm still not sure what that's short for..She had a fantastic scarf. Good thing because she's off to the Windy city? Whah? She gets whisked to Chicago. Sweet..seems better than a night at Rex's rendezvous. They spend an afternoon at the Wrigley Field. She wears a jersey that says Mrs. Higgins.I say presumptuous..that she's given that..an that it's assumed she'll take his name. They play some baseball, they kiss at home plate, they lie on the field..then get changed for dinner which is still on the field. The theme of the dinner is scared. She's scared, He's scared. They're both scared. Good thing they've had the talk. Another long date. She did have a great scarf on:) That was my favourite part of the date.


The dreaded and boring group date.
The girls Becca, Cailla, Amber all pile into a really big limo to all sit beside each other in the back. Seriously, I could have driven them in my civic not need to waste that many fossil fuels.The girls look unhappy to go on a date with the same guy. Weird. hahaha.
They basically go to a lake, canoe (Becca and Amber in one, Ben and Cailla in the other), they fly kites (which is what the girls likely wanted to tell each other to do)..and then go sit in the barn and have wine  and wait for one:one hay bale time with Ben out back. Amber's voice seems more like a cartoon characters to me. She gets the first time alone and tells Ben she's excited to introduce him to her kids..then it's Caila then Becca. And Becca starts talking Survivor -style and telling Ben not to blind side her. Ben awards the rose to Amber and the other two go home. Before anyone gets too excited about amber getting more time..they go to Ben's favourite place to eat..McDonald's..and then get to knock an item off Ben's bucket list and they get to work behind the counter....Oh.that's not it..they then go to the 3 ride carnival and are warmly welcomed by the Warsaw mayor. People in Warsaw seem super happy...and apparently a young kid in fringed leather jacket knows Ben..really? how long has Ben been in Denver..doubtful this kid really knows Ben.


Emily
Oh Emily. She's so excited to get the 1:1...but the girls are predicting she has so much growing to do..well...they kinda nailed it.
Emily goes to meet Ben's parents..she talks about how she's like to watch movies all day, how she wants to be an NFL cheerleader and how she's average at everything but thinks she would be an above average mom. Ben's mom is in tears when she talks to Ben. I think Ben has seen the light..and lets Emily go. Ben has a brutal yet great way to cut people loose. I think he's pretty genuine.

Emily's departing comments were the best ever..she was grateful for having met such a great guy..you know.that's way more eloquent than a lot of girls way older than her.
I like Emily. Hopefully your cheers can dry your tears..Gooooo Emily!!!!!

Cocktail party   Rose Ceremony

Oh..the northwind was upset (I just watched Chocolat and couldn't help the reference)...the rose ceremony was held outside and the wind  was whipping around the leaves ..Caila feels Ben may be rethinking her. Becca feels like it might be her. And Lauren B is the only one who chose to wear a white jacket. (foreshadowing?)

And the one sent home is ...
BECCA!

Becca is crying in the limo..saying she doesn't want to be alone...and we end with Ben with his head down and he looks like he's praying.

Yup...he's got 99 problems and Becca ain't one.

Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Pathetic fallacy

No..not the show...but the whole situation in the Bahamas...the weather was personifying the emotion-storminess, unpredictability, waves, crashing tides.

Everyone was awash in emotion.

First..the to be continued..Olivia did talk her way into getting the rose by saying "I come off as intimating " and the grammatically incorrect "I want to talk smart things" huh? That sounded dumb Olivia. But that was enough for for Ben so Olivia keeps the rose and he sends Jen out. She looked so great in hot pink...but you can tell he didn't feel that much for her. No walking her out of that ceremony. See ya Jen.

Bahamas.

1:1 Reel love..no not the Mary J Blige hit..it's Reel Love

Caila (sp?) gets the date. Ben arrives to pick her up. Was his lack of buttoning his shirt an oversight...is he wanting plunging neckline to Caila taks the plunge with him. What was with that fashion don't? Can Caila be more adorable? I loved the navy crop top. Fantastic. Btw, the look of the island for the women seems to be cut off jean shorts. Back to the date. This love is so reel that Caila needs that fishing rod strapped around her waist and needs Ben as her anchor so that she doesn't go overboard. They did take a plunge off the boat. (his shirt WAS foreshadowing!) But later at the dinner..it was the opposite...Caila seemed like she was going to jump ship and Ben needed to assure her that he could be her anchor. That was a pretty honest conversation..she basically said she didn't want to hurt his feelings..Fist bump Caila for honesty. She told him she wasn't sure but she has the feels for him..for reelz. hahaha. The navigated those choppy waters and she got the rose. yay!..and she also had a fantatic bathing suit on the date..Idon't think they sell fantastic bathing suits in Canada..or at least not in edmonton.


Group date.
Leah is having a melt down. She's crying in the hotel. She's crying on the group date. Leah is super ...rhymes with kissed and starts with a p that Ben didn't give her the one on one. She's crying to whomever will listen. I think she's getting Bachelor fever...it's a combination cabin fever, Stockholm syndrome, jet lag and anxiety sprinkled with self-doubt. I tell ya.. you need to have a rock solid mental health to last on this show.  Leah is upset she's on another group date and he's not getting to know her...they go on a boat ride and then feed the swimming pigs. Who's scared of pigs? I am. Reminds me of my wild boar encounter on a mountain in Croatia in 2014. I can't recall who said I like eat pigs..lol..yes...especially wrapped in sour cabbage leaves...mmmmm sarma...whoa..okay..back to the show. After the boat and swimming they go to a 'party' where Ben make out with most of them on a a couch...it's getting stormy out...Leah decides to diss Lauren B..that she's different and not here for Ben. Whah? Where did that come from? I blame it on the Bachelor fever...she's caving under the pressure. Amber gets the rose!

Leah decides to trash talk Lauren B again by sneaking to his hotel room. walking around the hotel in her bare feet. Ewww gross..She goes over to spend time and tell him that Laurne is right for him.Another colossally dumb move. Ben tells her he doesn't feel it with her!

She's so dishonoured..that not even random suitcase guy gets her luggage..she has to pick it up herself....

2:1
Emily and Olivia..who stays who goes.
This classic showdown pits the two against each other. Speaking of the pits...the weather is awful. So was Olivia's bathing suit/jean short combo. Emily looks like she was going to save a horse and ride a cowboy with the tassel-y top..that looked like serious stampede wear.  This date was also a recipe for worst hair ever...high speed winds and humidity...a waste of a hair washing/do. On this budget date..they zipped to deserted island..the only amenity was the alcohol brought on the boat...Olivia and Ben got to chat ..she professed her love. then Emily and Ben chat..and then Emily laid out her Magna Carta...it was like her personal charter of her dreams, expectations, direction. It was like a really bad political speech..but I think she sounded sincere. Ben fixes her hair and says he heard from her mom that she has a lot of love to give. Ben is adorbs.Ben takes her back to the communal beach blanket. He then takes the rose and walks with Olivia...Emily thinks her fate is sealed...But wait..he tells olivia he doesn't feel for her..and then leaves her standing awkwardly in the sand..while he goes over to Emily to give the rose to her.in Olivia's sight. Yes. Ben.. you coulda pulled a boat around and had her drive off..that was super mean..then Emily and Ben get on a boat and race away from crying Olivia.

Cocktail party
Kidding! Ben doesn't feel like cocktailing. He's drained. He feels beaten down in the Bahamas. As they say sometimes in capitalist societies..sometimes too much choice isn't always a good thing. I think Ben has decision fatigue.

Lauren gets the heave-ho. She leaves crying in the Cadillac..again ..for herself..not for Ben..saying how hard it is.she's ready..she can't find it..why's it so hard. Girl, you were in the Olympics of dating..i think the Bachelor is the toughest place to date.


The previews of the upcoming episodes look....so dramatic..
Until next week..I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!

Hola-tta drama.

Mexico!
Viva la mexico!

Mexico City! Fantastic location...according to Ben..there is "lots of culture" he says in the voice-over as he sits in front of a fountain...and he wears bright green underwear.

The girls are staying at the Four Seasons! Looks like a sweet hotel..as well as a suite hotel. And there's a bidet. Olivia declares she has one in her home. I feel I know too much about Olivia's hygiene  her breath and now her bidet use.The girls enthusiastically run from room to room and feel compelled to jump on beds. I wonder if contractually they have to be enthusiastic about each hotel they go to.

To start the season with a bang...Ben pulls out a Bachelor trick..the old "let's surprise the girls when they are sleeping".  Ben wants to see them 'in their element'. That is most likely the opposite of their element...sharing a hotel room..often a bed..with women they are competing with. Doubtful it's their element. Amanda is going on the one on one..and when Ben finds her in the room...she looks perfect..and coiffed..and i swear she had lip gloss on. She's an aesthetician...does she sleep in her make up?

One on one but really it was a two on one..
..if you count the balloon guy.
The go on a ballon ride above Mexico City. So many balloons...it's quite the cluster of balloons...not sure how you navigate the balloons. They land safely...thankfully.  And what might be the first time in Bachelor history..they have a picnic without being propped up on lounge pillows. They talk.and drink champagne. Ben clutches the champagne flute with a fist.  He seems pretty breezy..but maybe he's pretty tense.

Then they go for dinner..aI think they ate their dessert!!and have a sincere conversation . Amber talks about her deadbeat husband. Ben seems so caring and says 'they will walk through this together'. Sweet Ben. then Ben and Amber do more reflecting by the reflecting pool.
Oh and Amber gets the rose....

Group date..
This seemed so long.
There was ESL ~ Espanol Second Language. Then cooking class. Ben declares he's the Spatch-lor. (umm..not funny). Olivia snapped up Ben. Ben fed her mint. Does she really have bad breath.?There was a cook-off. Jo-Jo talks too much taco..and  Jubilee's recipe won...she's got so many talents...And according to Mexican's..once you can cook - you're ready to get married (oooohhhh I said to myself)..but back to Olivia..she has so many talents..Too bad she's letting people get to her head.

then the heavy cocktail party..did anyone eat anything..besides cilantro and mint at the cooking class. Jo_Jo won for best shoes. So pretty! WAs it Leah who got all the 1;! time walking down the streets of Mexico city. That looked so fun!Jubilee is starting to unravel...she doesn't want to hold his hand when they walk to have 1:1 time. Is it me or did it just seem so so so obvious that Ben is taking all the women by the hand and making out with them..and all the other women just sit there and seem okay with everything. I get why Jubilee was upset. But really what I was so surprised by was that Jubilee's red lipstick going with her pink dress. I was also so impressed with Ben being so honest with Jubilee and letting her go without having to walk out in front of the other girls...and the fact the taxi was already waiting. She hugged him and said thank-you. Way to go Jubilee. Olivia got the group date rose. There was a moment of silence..not out of respect...it was likely a shock.

Lauren H date
I thought Lauren H was milque-toast,,,but I loved her after this date. Someone named Ricardo greeted the couple  to tell them it was Mexican fashion week. But was it me but did Ricardo look more like a Justin...her reminds me of a barista on Whyte..hmm..maybe I have a narrow view of what Mexcian men look like.
Lauren and Ben participate in the Pineda Covalin (?) fashion show. Lauren looked amazing. Ben's shirt....reminded me of an 90s educational TV show called Sew Much Fun where they take 'fun' scraps of fabric and fashion into into clothing, quilt or table covering.
They have dinner and Lauren opened up. I loved her positive attitude...just loved it..she gets the rose.


What - the ? Cocktail party
Whoa..so much drama. First...the phrase that was heard around Bachelor Nation " like an episode of Teen Mom"..ooo...Amber shot right back..and then Olivia was silenced. Emily went crying to Ben..why? and then she cried to her sister..which kudos to her sister for talking to her after last week's shenanigans. Chris H announces the end of the party..but wait..there goes Ben breaking all the rules and asks to speak with Olivia. ..and then....

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Until next week.....I LOVE THIS SHOW!

O..and not the Cirque de Soleil show

O is the shape my mouth makes when I yawn.

Did this show feel sooo long. I have  feeling this is going to be a short report.

O is also the reason why this felt so tedious. Olivia's soliloquy's were totally overdone. You know, she confirms my bias about people who boast too much...they typically are overcompensating.

First date:
Jo-Jo. That is the only time I heard that name since Kci and Jo-Jo.
Jo-Jo is super cute. And she had a fab top on . But how did that top stay together? How was it attached to her body? Especially with the helicopter windstorm..i thought that was going to be like the iconic Marilyn Monroe caught in a windstorm..but seriously..that top stayed put. Quite a helicopter windstorm and some collateral damage..I bet if Jubillee was in her place , she would have had the situation neutralized. But Jo-Jo took the opportunity and Ben and her  issed by the overturned table. Romance in adversity. They've got a chance. They had a flight..sat in a hotel..he played suggestively with her bracelet. What was the story with the her ex. "There were other people in the relationship" Huh? Intrusive family? Another girlfriend? what? But that was all of 5 months ago..so she's ready...the date concludes with fireworks show..and the girls back at the Aria hotel were jealous. She got the rose.

Group date: (lack of) Talent show
You know..I wonder what talent I would have pulled out if I was in that situation. Hmm. Croatian dancing.mmm. no. Trombone playing? no.  Maybe a killer polka. Kinda hard to polka alone. I can kill it as a wedding emcee...but beside that..I'm not sure what I would do.
The twins did an amazing performance. Impressive that Jubilee could play the cello. I think they won. Olivia's performance was awkward to watch. The ensuing panic attack seemed like  a " things didn't go right, so I want some attention and sympathy".

Cocktail party..
I just forgot who was wearing the pantsuit-but that pantsuit was on point!
What is a sex panther?..i mean besides Cailla. and the cologne from Anchorman What did Ben mean exactly. Oh he meant a tigress. Right... (?????)
Olivia made an attempt to apologize to Ben. Eek. She's just not herself. I'm not sure what her self is...but there is so much artiface.
Speaking of artifact...does Ben like one of them..he seems to be kissing everyone..well except for Amber..because she's never around...
Lauren B gets the rose.

Becca
She gets a 1:1.  I like Becca. She just seems pretty chill. Clearly she has a lot of patience:)
She gets a wedding dress...isn't that supposed to be some kind of bad luck. Not the getting married part..but putting a dress on when you aren't getting married. Dunno...I heard that somewhere..so it must be true.
They go to a chapel and marry people. Kinda awkward..but hopefully the couples didn't have to pay for their weddings since they sold a special moment for a minute of fame on a reality show . Nice to see Becca changed into a less wedding-y dress. Ben looked great in his unbuttoned shirt.
They move to a creepy place with refurbished neon signs. Ben grills her about what it's be like to stay a virgin. She seems unaffected. Nice. From that Ben concludes that she is committed to her virginity, she is good at other commitments. They  make vows to each other.

Twin on 1 I mean Two on 1 date

This might win for the weirdest date in history. Sisters and he takes them home to their mom. So so weird, so so wrong. Speaking of distressing, let's talk about the mom's jeans. There was more distressing in her jeans that the drama of picking between the twins. Ben visits each twin's room to add extra weirdness..but Haley still has her ex in a frame. Haley seemed to have a lot of bras at home.seriously...i'm sure she brought 20 to the mansion..but she has that many left over.Whoa. Emily didn't need to throw Haley under the limo..I think the framed ex photo did Haley in. Regardless, Emily and Ben are laying in Emily's room and Emily tells him that he she is more into this than Haley.
The piece-de-resistance was Ben breaking up with one of the daughters in front of the mom. Oddly, he did it with finesse.
Emily takes the limo back.


Rose Ceremony
Olivia does a last ditch plea. Ben kisses a lot of girls.
And he kicks off Rachel and Amber.
Rachel will go back to being unemployed. Amber.well...i'm not sure if she's left the pool lounge chair.
those tears..are not for Ben...it's taking stuff personally...

WEll...the show drew to a dramatic clOse..and until next week..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

E-MO-TION

Yes...E-MO-TION is the critically acclaimed 2015 album released by Carly Rae Jepsen,..but is definitely the theme of this show.

When the show opens, Chris arrives at the mansion All the girls lined up on the U shaped couch formation...I wonder if producers ask them to gather and wait.
First one on one..

Bi plane ride. Is the Bi that there are two rows of seating. Lauren B..the flight attendant is appropriately chosen for the flight date. I'm not into planes but the yellow plane is adorbs. What's not so adorbs is that they do a fly by near the mansion..the girls deduce that it's Lauren and Ben's date. Then they are sad.

Lauren B correctly identifies there is one propeller on the plane! Must be the aviation experience.
I was liking her off the shoulder scrappy, yet still with sleeve shirt. Looked so cute. I wonder if it got cold up there with  her breezy top.

Speaking of breezy and being a top..they stop in the middle of nowhere..with a jacuzzi! Maybe they bought it at the hot tub store from last week's show. Lauren went to go change into her bathing suit behind a tree..and they sat in the hot tub. Lauren seemed kinda sweet..talked about her dad. A LOT.
After some hot tubbin' or jaccuzzin' Is there a difference?) they are off to dinner.Ben shared that his dad had triple bypass and he realizes that family is important.there was caring and sharing on that date.
Ben digs her..and she gets the rose.
Oh..and there's another concert...I think this show is already setting a record for concerts and plane rides...

Back at the Mansion...Olivia is melting down.thinking she won't get a rose..as is Cailla..the girls that are listening to them..show no compassion.


Soccer!

Group date..nothing new here..they compete against each other..the winners get to spend time with Ben.Stripes win. Olivia is on that team. There's a cocktail after party.
the girls get super catty...talking about Olivia's breath and her ugly toes.  Seriously. toe gossip. This show has hit a new low.


One on one
Jubilee...gets the date!! She is in shock. She really doesn't seem like she has a lot of confidence.
She looked AMAZING on the date..she looked fab in white. Enroute to the helicopter..she made a snide comment..but she gets awkward..no worries Jubilee.I totally get awkard. They helicopter off and she magically gets over her fear of heights and they go to a spa that looks desolate and deserted but beautiful. Someone left behind some canapés and caviar...which Jubilee had spit out. I've never had caviar... I intensely dislike tapioca so i"m guessing I would have had the same reaction.
So after a tiring helicopter ride they must have  swim. Jubilee looked smokin' in her bikini.  oh..before that she joked that he was a white boy...which he is..then he found it funny...I don't get it..but that made her relaxed. The date was progressing well.
Over dinner..so many emotions spilling..then tears..it seemed totally legit. I'm wondering if Ben is trying to be a rescuer. He says her likes her layers. Yes.she has fine layers.Regardless, he asks interesting probing questions...i still heart Ben..he gives her the rose..she accepts..and sits on his lap..being 40 cm away from him is too far...so the lap it is.
i'm sensing there may be some co-dependence

Rose ceremony..tense and sad
holy smokes...it's 3rd week in and so much tension...Ben has two deaths of close friends...and there is so much drama...Jubilee is pulling back..Olivia pulls ben aside to talk about her insecurities..seriouslY? the guy has suffered a major loss and she watns to talk cankles..I was hoping he would pull the plug on that relationship. Amber is freaking out an needs to settle things with Jubilee..and she has taken on a house spokesperson role...Lace is thinking she won't get a rose...but then decides to bail on the show..and says she realized that she doesn't feel loveable and needs to work out her self...
Olivia ends up getting a rose and the bartender from St. Albert doesn't...and says she's going to start buying cats..Shushanna got the boot...did we know she was a mathematician?? well she did some serious miscalculations..oh.random comment.did you notice she was wearing a watch at the rose ceremony? How important is knowing what time it is at the rose ceremony..I thought it was an odd accessory. Becca seems to be pulling a Survivor tactic..totally under the radar and she;s keeping steady..and had fabulous lip gloss.

Until next week...Ben..I really really really really really really like you and I LOVE THIS SHOW!!

Ben Ben Ben

I think I'm falling for Ben.
This guy seems pretty straight up and genuine. I'm not sure how he kept it together with might be the lamest group date in history..Bachelor High.
It's easy to criticize the group date. I know this show loves themes and stereotypes...but Bachelor high really appealed to the lowest common denominator of what might be a high school experience - competing for affection, feeling excluded...and whatever a home coming queen is supposed to be. I guess the homecoming queen is not predictive of future bachelor success given that Mandi didn't stay another week. But she does get to go back to a good job..if she still has a job after she portrayed herself as an odd dentist.
I was a bit surprised that people didn't know where Indiana was. I didn't get the bobbing for apples thing. is that a school activity? And the exploding volcano. Hahaha...Well..that's the just foreshadowing for the FOD.
Did anyone else notice that Becca's make-up is on point? And I am loving the grey/blue colours of dresses she's picking..she looks fantastic. Jubilee is also a stunner. She  seems to have a bit of a temper and that makes her less beautiful..but she's so gorgeous. I also think Ben is not alone in the unloveable department. Lace is showing signs that she needs a lot of validation.
And why was Jo Jo  the real estate person so amazed to be on top of a building? Maybe she only sells low rises. But she seems legitimately astounded at the height of that building.

Back at the house..I'm starting to notice and be annoyed by Olivia. I liked her the last week..but the part that annoys me is that her mouth is always agape.

One on one date: Caila. She's adorable and understated. She was pretty mesmerized by Ben...but seriously.. you have Ice Cube and Kevin Hart on the date and she pretty much ignored them. I can't believe she didn't have more fun with those guys. I thought the cheap date was funny. Note I only find cheap dates funny when the guy isn't cheap..it's supposed to be funny:) The hot tub date in the hot tub store was hilarious. Loved it.
Then they went out for dinner..Caila didn't touch her 9 cups of pasta..and then they walked by a theatre when some guy was singing for them. Amos Lee. Mary who is that??? Sorry I only know people who are on the American Music Awards. Please don't judge me. Hey, but at least I can pick out Indiana and Indonesia on a map..i just have bad music taste:)

Camila go the rose. She's adorbs. And Ben asked her questions. Way to go Ben. So many dudes don't ask questions.

Group date #2: More science
Whoa..so much science this show. I was most  taken with Shushanna speaking!! Is she taking English lessons at the mansion?? Olivia was on this date..and she had her either agape or flapping the whole time. Now she's wanting to get into the other girl's heads. Seriously? If you're that confident, why would you want to try to bring people down. I call BS on her confidence.
But back to the Love lab..i thought the smelling part was weird. I felt bad for the girl who failed the smell test and it was announced publicly. No, it's not enough that you have women trying to make  you feel insecure but a 'scientist' says you got the lowest score. My thoughts went to Shushanna..where i thought that there would be sulphurous remnant cabbage smells..but apparently it doesn't linger..excellent..I feel 100% confident in my frequent sauerkraut consumption will not be a roadblock on my amazing journey to true love for the right reasons:)
But back to Shushanna for a second.she came to the US to buy a car with $400 and one pair of jeans? Please.There's more to the story than that. I know that binge watching Narcos and Making a Murderer doesn't make me superlative detective, but you can't just drop into the US just to say you're going to buy a car. Something fishy doing on with Shushanna..and Ben didn't catch it on the smell test.

Olivia got the rose on the date.



Rose Ceremony

Olivia 'steals' Ben. sigh. so selfish. She says you can't rest your laurels. Olivia..the idiom is "you can't rest on your laurels"...ugh! Lace is becoming unhinged. She is sharing her unloveable side with Ben..and Ben graciously listens. Amber complains voraciously about not spending time with Ben but makes no effort. Ben develops a photo (whah? how very 2003) for Leah..who?. Emily from Vegas has another hideous dress..which looks like it was a curtain at a Vegas hotel in 1997. Olive looks beautiful. Becca is rocking the perfect nude lip.
I nearly teared up (that almost never happens..well maybe when Sean picked Katherine..but that's the only time)..when Ben made barrettes with Amanda for her daughters. Ben wins. Sweet sweet sweet.

During rose handout time..LB.gets picked and takes Ben aside and says she can't hack being there. Just as an aside..as  fashion buyer..i thought she would have had better outfits..and better earrings..her chandelier earrings were not super dangly nor super chandelier-y. Hmm...maybe she's a buyer for Wal-Mart..dunno. She rejects her rose.
The twins get roses (why?). and Amber gets her rose....likely because LB's was thrown back in the pile. I was surprised the lawyer didn't get picked. But that dress..whah? seriously...I think someone had that dress at my high school grad. What was that?

Well..hopefully Amber steps up her game and Olivia closes her mouth  next week..
Until then.. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

I see you

Happy New Year everyone:) Hope everyone had a great Christmas...and this is the second most wonderful time of the year!! The Bachelor season is upon us!
!!! That means there will be glitter and glossess , sequins and sparkles,  sparkly and shimmer , alcohol and attitudes and vanity and venom!!

Happy 8th year of the Rose Report:) 8 is a lucky number..and I feel very lucky that I get to watch the Bachelor on the big(ger) screen...I graduated from a 32 to a 55 inch glorious TV!!!!! So pumped that I got it this Saturday in time for the Bachelor..after it was all set up and connected..and within 2 hours...it all went blue...people on my TV look blue..like Avatars -not literally like descendants of the deities on earth as per Hindu mythology..but like ones from the movie Avatar.

So I was so grateful to see it on a big screen..but everyone looked blue..and I could barely make out what colours the dresses were..and my personal favourite thing to do is check out how the women skillfully apply their make up.  Next week...i'll get a replacement for this..and hopefully I get to do a closer make up examination.

But from what I could make out on the big blue screen was this show will be a lotta drama.
I don't remember Ben too much...but I do like his brutal honesty about potentially being unlovable...pretty honest for a reality show...He reminds me a bit Michael Buble...one the verge o being really cute...but he's mainly super likeable.

The mini Bachelor reunion..was definitely a time filler...this sound shallow..but Mesnick could have used some of his appearance feels for a hair style or some product..he definitely had some lego hair going on. Chris looked adores..and Sean looked sweaty..that guy always looks sweaty..hopefully he hydrates.

The girls...you know..the memorable pitch out to the limo is becoming trite. It's almost original not to have gift, token, momento, sporting reference, hoverboard or farm animal to present to Ben.
Cue the eye roll when there is a clever play on words "I hope to land a man" says the flight attendant. Blah blah.
What I didn't get was the cue card game at the cocktail party..the real estate person drew cards and she put them over her head (why?) so that Ben could guess what she did. I think it's suppose to be a take the game hedbanz..but she missed the point...the Headband that got more attention was the dentist. It was alike a large homemade fascinator..but it commanded attention. Her appeal to oddities seems like a career limiting move.  She also brought dental implements to give Ben an oral exam. I'm with Mandi that I wouldn't date someone who didn't floss. Ain't nobody got time for gingivitis.
What is up with Shushanna..so she understands English but chooses not to speak it. She gave a definite "Da" for the rose. Even though Ben's from Warsaw Indiana..he doesn't have a slavic bone in his body.

Other "highlights" Becca's back! hahahahaha..for those of you who are in Sephora as often as I am..you'd get that:) Becca happens to be one of my favourite highlighting powder (Champagne pop..the collaboration of Becca and Jaclyn Hill)..anyway.I had to use that:) I freaking love that highlighting powder. But in all seriousness..I'm not sure why everyone's knickers are in such a knot when they know Becca is on..actually Becca's knickers are always in a knot..that' s why they feel oddly threatened.  From what I recall about Becca..was that she wasn't that bright..but she was nice and I loved the way she did her make up..(note I can't comment on her make up on this show..because they all looked blue remember)

This brings me to Lace..appearances are deceiving...she looked demure and elegant..but alcohol seemed to bring out her inner hotmessedness (I think that should be the Oxford 2016 new word). She needed so much reassurance. So. Much. She need to have the first kiss. Then requested a second (Awkard). Then Ben came back to say that he thought she was awesome but that wasn't enough for her. Olivia getting the first impression rose made her anger.

Oh Olivia..she seemed calm..and that made her attractive. The only thing I query is quitting a full-time TV job to pursue this. Call me suspicious..but i see that she is doing this to get more exposure.I loved her hair length...fantastic.

Oh..Jubilee. It looked like she had a white dress on . She looked killer! Amazing!! Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Scandal..but she totally reminded me of Olivia Pope.

The twins. Weird. The premise. Weirder. The dresses. Awful They're from Vegas..isn't that the land of the outlet malls. Don't tell me that's the best you could do.

Amber....i'm glad she got the rose..she seemed a bit fragile from last season..but that hair. What was that?

The chicken enthusiast. Whoa...I enjoy poultry cooked. Getting that close and living with a chicken. I just think avian flu. ewwww. Did she fly the coop? I  can't call if she stayed.

What I do know is the Ben doesn't like onesies..and red velvet. Later ladies. He also let go the
"nutritional therapist" aka bread basher. Hating gluten Breanne is very 2015...:)

Right after the roses were handout out and the rejected bachelorettes skulked away from the mansion..Lace needed more time with Ben...to ask why he didn't make eye contact with her during the rose ceremony..He needs to tell her that awesome quote from the Avatar movie.

"I see you".

Until next week I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!