A bright light in the darkness

So this show is off schedule...it starts mid cocktail party. And man was it a cold cocktail party. Literally and figuratively.  Things between Corinne and Taylor were ice cold...and you could see everyone's breath at the rose ceremony.

Bachelor on a Budget
The roses are given out..and where are they off to....New Orleans. There must be some good trips coming up for the show because so far they've been at the mansion, Wisconsin and next..New Orleans...at low season. Very likely low season because there were very few people in the streets, they stayed at the JW Marriott (where they felt it necessary to jump on the beds- seriously why?) and the dates didn't even involve a lot of fossil fuels...typically Bachelor dates are not energy efficient.
Well..the mood was dark and heavy for most of the show.

Except for Rachel. I LOVE Rachel. She does have a bit of a Rhi Rhi vibe except the friendliness is dialled up a notch. She is honest, excited...and has butterflies.They have a 1:1. Nick says he's going to 'treat her right' and buy her a lot of things. At a flea market. Charming. Then they dance through the streets. She is feeling the music and energy..and Nick is ..well..he's trying to be fluid. She looks so fab in her white top and yellow shorts. I just love Rachel...and she is digging Nick...i'm so happy she's happy:) They go for dinner and have meaningful conversation..she mentions how the last time she was in NOLA she was at a funeral and it made her reflect on her own life and owning the present moment. Rachel way to bring some stoic philosophy into a show that typically isn't that philosphical. Nick totally is into Rachel and talks about meeting her family and how much he loves her confidence and how he clicks with her and how he wants her family to know that she is respected. Nick...well done...And Rachel concludes with " I don't believe in fairy tales...but today was a fairy tale". Coincidentally, there were commercials for the upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie. Rachel is a beauty...Just keep keeping it 100 Rachel:)

And for the rest of the show....darkness.

The girls are dreading who will be on the group date since the two left will be on the 2:1.

The group date is another low energy date. They visit a haunted house. The lights get turned off. Things rattle, rock and fall. There is a ouija board and candle light. It's a big snore. Danielle (the blonde) reconnects and feels here relationship is stronger with Nick after one kiss..and Raven tells Nick she fell in love with him. Raven really needs to fly the coop. She beats her cheating boyfriend and falls in love with a guy who took her on a date and roller-skated with her in a museum.
Danielle gets the group date rose(which was under a dome? why?)..and I still don't know who took the ghost's baby doll.
(and I think my 9 year old nephew can do better special effects on his iPad than the producers did making the haunted house 'special effects')

Shallow and murky waters- and the Bayou
Corinne and Taylor are on the 2:1. Corinne is pretty shallow and Taylor's judgment is clouded.
Corinne's monologues are petty and juvenile. Her outfits reflect her depth...there's not much there. But Taylor..who is supposed to have some critical thinking skills- cannot detach . She feels she needs to school Corinne in how immature she is and how underdeveloped with Emotional Intelligence is. For all this talk of emotional intelligence...Taylor doesn't define it nor does she seem to practice it. She gets mired and bogged down in how angry she is at Corinne. And these two women are off on a Bayou date. The whole date is odd..and it starts with the blonde guy jumping on the motorboat. Why is noone wearing life jackets? or maybe a life jacket won't help when you're in alligator infested waters. The three cruise off to a some voodoo person..then there is card reading...and some 1:1 time. Corinne thinks she's in the jungle. While Taylor gets some validation in her card reading...Corinne tells Nick she' bullied. Taylor has some 1:1 time with nick..but to no avail..because Nick gives the rose to Corinne. Taylor walks off, but then has to come back to the table because some producer probably said "where are you going..there are snacks and alligators out here"..so she has to see Nick an Corrine boat off on brown waters...and then they kiss..after Corinne ties her hair in a pony tail. I be Corinne wishes she wore a belt..she seemed to be pulling up her pants a lot.
But it's so NOT OVAH! Taylor is a water sign! (not sure what that means)..but she goes back to the voodoo circle to get watered I think..as if to fortify herself to talk to Nick. Taylor was so silent when nick didn't pick here...I was really happy she didn't cry:)

Nick and Corinne sit down to dinner...but they won't be there long..becuase Taylor is back from the jungle  bayou. She's really to talk it out....

Until next week...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!

Nick is a life coach

Well-if one thing is clear. Nick knows how to be on this show and man can he milk it (more that later). He was coaching all the women to express their feelings because he wanted to hear them...but typically he just kissed them after his spiel.

Rose return policy
Trump may re-negotiate NAFTA but Vanessa threatens to return the rose! What is happening in this world? Speaking a of a world being rocked..there was serious bouncy castle drama (words you likely will never see together again in a sentence). Vanessa et al were upset that Corinne ordered a bouncy castle and straddled Nick in it. It like the opposite of deflate-gate (Note that is likely the only NFL reference that has every been in this blog). That bouncy castle incident had all the women talking..and thinking that if Nick picks Corinne he made not be ready for marriage.

Nick talks to Vanessa...and he tells her it's about the end game and to be patient..but her really wants to hear how she feels and tells here knows what it's like to be in her place. Nick says he's all ears...but really it's literally lip service..he kisses most of the women to make it all better and gives them no direction about what he really wants.

At this point..i'm not sure I like any of the women...I really like Vanessa...she's a bit self righteous though.

Nick states the Corinne is rubbing the women the wrong way..ummm I don't think it's that rubbing that the women are concerned about.

Corinne gets the rose..gasp.

Travel........to Wisconsin!!!!! Is that like going to Saskatchewan?? Like it's really pretty ..and people are super friendly but most people don't think it's a treat.

1st group date
So much giggling.
Danielle L is so freaking adorable..but she just giggled through most of the date boring stories ie. jumped in a lake for $12 and one too many stories about how many girls he made out with at the library, field or school. When people talk about their 'action' that much I start to wonder.
Danielle just giggled all along. They ran into Nick's ex Amber who happened to be sitting by a window looking effortless and reading a book. I wonder if she got paid for the appearance..and Amber told Danielle that Nick leads with his heart and only goes in when he feels it's right..which is why he's proposed twice..on  a reality show. Thanks Amber. Danielle and Nick go to a concert..and have the custom mini stage where they can stand out from the crowd and have the spotlight for them. Nick was so lost in Danielle's eyes that he couldn't dance..let alone dance and kiss and the same time. They kinda swayed to Chris Lane (?) concert.


Poop I mean Group Date.
This is likely the lowest cost group date ever. They go to a dairy farm. Whoa.if you've ever been to a dairy farm the smell of the poop stays in your hair, but at least they all smell the same.
They go ta dairy farm of someone who is unknown to Nick and he is feeling a 'baby cow' aka a calf.
Then some of girls try to milk a cow. Jamie was successful.Nick of course makes an obvious teat joke. Tiresome. Speaking of tiring..the girls have a make work project of scooping poop that was placed in a pile by the barn and transferring it to another area. Corinne took a time out. Women are incensed..steaming just as much a the steaming pile of poo.
Then there is a group date in a cold drafty farm house..where women have to pop from couch to couch and cover in a blanket. No wonder there is drama..I'd be annoyed too if I was freezing in heels and smelled bad. Kristina has a serious chat with him..and gets the rose.


Raven
Can we just take a moment to address the stiletto in the room on this date?  Nick and Raven meet Bella, meet the parents and then participate in rollerskating and Nick was super proud of his rollerskating ability...BUT why was Raven's Bella's attack of her ex-boyfriend okay? confronting her ex for cheating? Sure. Kicking down the door like a 'spider monkey' okay so I still don't know the difference between a dolphin and shark costume..but what is a spider monkey and can they kick down doors? the monkey analogy is not the point. Melodramatic to kick down and door, but she's angry..Walking in on the deed..well weird..but if it gives you closure..BUT the  distressing thing is that she took the stiletto of the woman and beat her boyfriend in the head. What? Really? How is that okay? If the reverse is true people would be protesting(rightly so). And people should protest this. Violence is never ok. Ugh. I'd let Raven fly based on that.  But Nick just said "whoa"..and that he's never cheated on anyone..and he offers one more time for them to roller-skate together in the Milwaukee Art Museum....

Rose Ceremony.
there isn't one..again.
The irony is that the mental  health counsellor is putting down someone who she's assessed doesn't have enough emtotional intelligence.

I think my intelligence took a dip after this episode..
However
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!

Get out of your head

This felt like a 3 hour episode.
It starts with the cocktail party...where everyone is shocked that Nick had sex with Liz. What is so shocking? What if the sentence was truncated at sex. Would it still be shocking. I thought that it was shocking not his show when there are virgins...but one woman goes on to say it's surprising that it happened before the FOD..but then it would be okay with you if you were on an FOD.


They need to save that drama for the llama. Wait..there's more..Corinne happens to have a trenchcoar and a aerosol container of Reddi Whip. I liked how they blocked the Reddi Whip product placement.
Nick has enough wherewithal to refuse her advances not before a few hundred calories worth of whipped cream. You know what else looked whipped...Nick's hair? It had so much pouffy volume.
Corinne is upset that she is rejected...and goes from being sure she was going give him a sexy surprise to turning into a blubbering mess because he rejected her.

After people finished talking about how blinded sided they were..there was a cocktail party..but Corinne took a snooze. I get it..those parties (and rejection) are exhausting.

Rose Ceremony
some girls go home..i don't even know their name.

Backstreet (keeps coming) Back....alright.
Oh my gawd, they're back again.
The group date is EVERYBODY. The BSB come to the mansion to explain that the group date will be back up dancers...because..they are doing a residency in LV and they need to practice.

BSB still's got it....but you know who doesn't .Corinne...she is not feeling confident about her dancing. Nick also cannot dance, but what does he care..everyone is literally dancing around him all the time.
The girls practice..and Danielle is the winner..and Danielle and Nick are serenaded in front of 500 (?) it looked like 150..people. and they kiss. I would never "Want it That Way".


Zero G
Vanessa...the pretty Montrealer gets the date!! I don't get how this all works but they get weightless on a plane..but how did people film them..and good thing it was in slow motion...it seems pretty awkward even in slow mo.
Vanessa vomitted...Nick stroked her foot.? Is there some meridian that connects from your food to stomach...the then stroked her back. Well at least he didn't look grossed out. One of the crew had gum to give her because he kissed her.
To finish off this nauseating date he takes her to the tallest building..where she drank water and got super serious....Nick was feeling' her...not in a Corinne kind of way..and the Canadian gets the rose.

Nick-athalon
There are only 3 events and a bonus one for the top performers. In case anyone forgot the prize is Nick.

Someone bring out the team psychologist because Dominque is not dominating in the head game department. She kept talking about getting out of her head..but that's where she stayed..and in her head she was in last place. Gurrrrl you needed a pep talk.
I can't even get into the Nick events..but the final one was a sprint and the winner who crossed the line and brought the ring to Nick got to spend time with him in the hot tub on the track field. Astrid won..kinda by cheating...but nothing was holding her (or her boobs) back. She slipped into the hot tub for 1:1 time.

They all head to Big Daddy's for drinks...Nick takes Astrid aside..and this propels Dominique to head to the bathroom so she could not hide from the cameras but at least cry in a bathroom. Rachel tells her to get out of her head...then Rachel heads to spend some couch/smooch time with Nick.
Rachel is so pretty. Dominque is shattered...and then she goes to talk to Nick..to be straight 100 with him and tell him how he messed up and wasn't attentive enough. He listened attentively and let her go.

Rachel gets the group rose.

No cocktail party...pool party.
Can I just take a minute to say that everyone looks amazing in their bikinis?
All women throw themselves at him...Corinne throws herself on top of him in bouncy castle that she rented for her and Nick. Nick likes that she is playful...becuase he wants his wife to be playful. Speaking of, Vanessa wants to see if Nick is just being a playah.

and even though Vanessa has a rose..she don't have time for this behavour. You go Vanessa!!!!

Until next week,
I LOVE THIS SHOW.

Always a bridesmaid

Dear diary..
Will Nick always be the Bachelor/suitor? Well..let's start off this episode with a bridal photo shoot, with various cliche brides/bridesmaids. Chris Harrison had just coached the ladies and let them know that there are 22 of them (in case they couldn't count) and that not all would get a 1:1 date..but when/if they did get time with Nick to 'take advantage of it'. I do think that Chris is going all Benjamin Button on the Bachelor.He is reverse aging. May he just exfoliates a lot. But the guy looks radiant. His job likely has less stress than an actuarian.

Before the group date the woman are remarking how confident Nick is. Nick seems kinder, but for a confident guy he mumbles a lot. It's like he doesn't inspire enough to talk - inspire i mean inspiration..taking in enough breath. Maybe he's too busy taking everyone's breath away.hahahahaha

This group date assigned women to various get-ups for role play: 80s bride, shotgun bride, Princess bride (not s the movie), Eve as a bride and beach bride (even though she was poolside).
My favourite part of the shoot was the photographer. His outfit and the glasses. (If I had emojis on the blog I'd give his fist bump, thumbs up, high ten, a smiley face with hearts on the eyes, a camera and a beating heart..I realized I've started to think in emoji)  The Eve bride looked amazing in her leafy bottom. Was Taylor the princess bride?  Clearly her masters from John Hopkins wasn't in feminist literature- being a princess bride replete with tiara did not offend any sensibilities. The photographer chose Corinne as having the most chemistry with Nick and the big prize was....another bridal photo shoot..but Corinne was proud...that he touched her boobs. She's got boobz goalz.


After the 2 photo shoots, they go to a photo shoot wrap up party- where Corinne continues to drink, drink drink and use a lot of cliches. Taylor digs deep into her brain (because that's what she says Nick likes..) and gets enough vulnerability/courage to interrupt Corinne. There were so many girls interrupted I lost count..but Corinne gets the rose....maybe Nick digs that she wears her heart on her sleeve and that here bikini top kept falling falling falling and perhaps even a nipple was exposed when was talking to Nick. Yup Taylor, Nick is into geniuses.

1:1 date with a Romantic mash-up
There are so many romantic things on this date..helicopter, yacht, (uneaten) dinner in a courtyard and Ferris wheel. It's a good thing Danielle isn't the queasy type...so many opportunities for nausea on the date. Nick seems super comfortable with the his home-girl. She disclosed that she walked in on her fiancee who had overdosed and died. Nick praised her vulnerability.  What a tough thing to discuss and he thanked her for sharing. Nick was gracious and compassionate. Nick is lovelier than before..butI don't think he's as confident as the women make him out to be.

Museum of Broken Relationships
The date card read "We need to talk..."
(ALL contestants read the ellipsis as DOT DOT DOT ...not sure why i find that SO ANNOYING ...)
I'm sure the Bachelor could take over the museum with it's own exhibits of relationships gone awry. This date seems like extra bad karma on a show that's already laden jealousy and insecurity...seems like awful foreshadowing..
We already know that Liz told Kristin that she had previously enjoyed relations with Nick at Jade and Tanner's wedding. Kristin said she's going to keep it on the DL.The group date was the women breaking up with Nick. Nick is wearing a denim shirt again and he's got some serious volume on his lid.
At the museum they view random artifacts. I'm surprised that the ring Nick 'donated' to the museum wasn't placed in a Neil Lane box.
At the performance theatre part of the date when they all had a chance to break up with Nick.Liz tried to get emotionally raw with Nick)...but I guess Nick is picky with who he can be vulnerable.  What was with that outfit that Liz had on...it's like the bottom started out being shorts, then wanted to be a skort, but ran out of time/material. Josephine (whose facial scar from the earlier in the episode seemed to heal) gave Nick a huge slap. mark too so they could match. I think they should say not to violence on the Bachelor. Hitting is never cool..even as a joke. The Russian dental hygienist breaking up over brushing is about as funny as a dietitian breaking up with someone over vegetable consumption. Not funny ..but better than slapping. Good thing the oral hygiene comments didn't go further.

At the odd get tougher post break-ups, they all went to a mall(?) to get to know Nick better.  Kristen told Nick about the Liz reveal and she thought they could "move forward" and that would gain some advantage with Nick...nope..Nick's got the hook-up on his mind so Kristen is denied. Guess noone likes a tattle tale. Liz and Nick finally chatted..i totally agree that Liz intentions for coming on the show were questionable...but i agree with her that if he really wanted her number he could have asked Jade. But Liz's answers to his questions weren't making sense..just as non-sensical as her outfit. So he let her go.

and was there a rose ceremony..nooooooooo

Ugh...i don't like when they mess up the routine of this show!!
But until next week

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!

Christmas was so so lovely...New Years was fab and very low key...and to wrap up the season...THE BACHELOR  begins!!! I was looking forward to it ALL DAY!!!!
I don't even know where to begin..so much happened.
First-when was Nick every a 'bad boy'?  Is this something that the producers think that if they repeat it enough, we'll believe it?
I'm happy that Nick became more self aware. I do like his persistence - he was really vibing Brene Brown though. He used the word vulnerability more than journey in this episode.
I kinda think the producers will have a not-so-subtle sub-text of  "if Nick can find love, y'all can find love". So much shirtless Nick already. Well- I guess he really hasn't had an off season from this franchise so has kept in fitness model shape for this. Must commend him on that diligence.

But back the episode. Denim cut offs are not going away...so may cut offs. So many gimmicks to get the women to stand out so much so that the gimmicks make them unremarkable. For example- i remember there was a camel...i don't remember which girl was riding in on the camel.
I cringed and my stomach flipped at the 'you're a weiner in my book' girl.  That stunt spoke volumes :):) And it ended with them both eating an uncooked weiner. What ding dongs. Did her give her a rose? I think so. Eww. so so gross. Side bar- he admitted to eating an uncooked weiner as a kid. I don't get that..

I do learn from this show...it affirmed that I know so little about animals...was that girl dressed in a shark or a dolphin costume? I'm embarrassed that I didn't know the difference. Corinne the business maverick who can't cut up  her own cucumbers assumed the girl wore the costume because she's hiding her body or wants to surprise everyone with an amazing body.

The funniest entry was the pro basketball dancer bringing Neil Lane. That made me lol. Neil makes me lol. That guy doesn't age..Does Neil Lane remind you of Neil Diamond? Or maybe I'm not recalling Neil Diamond..or maybe I think this because of Diamond in his name:)

The wedding videographer's dress was awful..well, at least it wasn't red..but really. Some of the girls looked so stunning in their dresses but some looked like deeply discounted bridal wear.

The mental health counsellor who said "I'm lonely, I need love"she looked so lovely...but her pronouncement that she's lonely and wants love..i don't think i would have said that as a mental health counselor...

Rachel got the first impression rose.but what did she say about fantasy tapes or dates in the introduction. I"m happy he gave it to Rachel:) Brains and beauty.  Go Nick.

You know who is going to be halter top trouble?Corinne. She ain't going take no for an answer and she's in it to win it (true love I mean). She has effortless beachy waves in her hair and I loved her black blouse in the preview they showed for the upcoming season.

I'm interested to see how Nick will hold up emotionally in this situation..as well as Taylor the mental health counsellor..although it's easier to give advice than to take it.

As for the doula...the one who slept with Nick..she's happy he remembered her. It's good she has high self regard like that. Not sure if Nick is really into her really likes her..or if he is keeping her as per the producers' recommendations.

I really really really like the Canadian school teacher:) ...not that dress and earring combo...but her as a person she seems smart, fun and interesting.

This will be an emotional, action-packed journey. Until next week...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!