Monday, May 28, 2018

Let's do this damn thing - again -

What do Becca and I have in common? Well, we both broke up a few months ago...she with Arie (well he kinda broke up with her) and I broke up with the blog. But we're both going do this damn thin...one more time.
Umm.. I had TWO people ask me to do the blog for one more season ...I don't like to disappoint 33.3 % of my following..so here we go! Oh..update...I bought a super cute and overpriced gold plated rose necklace for my 10 year blogaversary.  I think the traditional gift is tin or aluminum...but I stopped drinking diet Coke regularly years ago...so an overpriced (but did I mention it's cute) gold plated necklace it is.

Here's what Becca and I don't have in common:
-whining about breaking up with someone for months
-costume jewellery that spans to fingers (what was that? That had serious Suzy Creamcheese vibes)


In case this was anyone's first show, we were all made abundantly clear that ARIE BROKE UP WITH BECCA AND SHE'S SAD and SCARED.

She had a fireside chat with her mom and sister..holy Dippity Do her sister's hair had SO MUCH VOLUME. Can you imagine  if her sister and my fave Leo had children?

Oh..then the former bachelorettes came on to give advice. Jo Jo monopolized the conversation..and Caitlyn was hilarious as usual...sigh..the Canadians are understated and good natured. Rachel used an expletive about Ari, and no-one could stop Jo Jo from talking. I didn't get the whole Sage thing either..it's a store at West Ed where I buy overpriced essential oils because I'm scared if I use different ones it'll wreck my diffuser. Oh..another thing Becca have in common..we're both scared.

But back to the real reason we're here....the men  true love.

I don't know where to start. So much hair product, so few socks, so much fromage.
First off my favourite is Leo...for my 90s Northside readers his hair is so Tiger circa 1998. But he seems so funny.

I'm SO GLAD she kept Jordan. I wish Jordan just did like a driveway fashion commentary. He's pure comedy. I don't think he talked to her once. My fave quote is when he said "modelling is more than being ridiculously good looking."Oh and he wanted her to hear the sound of his shoes on the rocks...that guy is lost in narcissist land.

Clay the football player always sounds like he's about to cry. I almost cried when he used terrible football cliches when he talked to her out of the limo.

What does Jean Blanc do exactly besides own more than 100 scents. I do follow a German guy on youtube called Jeremy Fragrance who I think does fragrance as a career. Why did Jean Blanc go so big on the bowtie?

Colton seemed cute..starting things off with a bang. How does the guy have a career if he runs a non-profit? Does his salary come from administrative fees?

Connor seemed intense getting down on one knee.
oh my...Joe..definite no...when he used produce as a clever double entendre as both a noun and verb..and you know that was written for him...he was out of his element. He seemed to have low self esteem. I hope Joe finds a nice girl in Chicago who appreciates a guy who knows his melons.

Too many guys to keep track of..I'm not sure why she chose John, the software guy. He seemed super feminine. Blake seems okay...not sure how he managed to ride in on an ox (which I thought was a bull..but clearly I don't know my livestock). Jason seems kinda cute..even though he either has a super emollient lip balm or he was wearing lip gloss. Nick also seems cute .

I think I like the lawyer that started off wearing a race care driver suit. I wasn't understanding Chris aesthetic. Was that a plaid jacket with a tuxedo shirt? Is that okay? I wish I could message Jordan.

I can't wait till Leo starts to talk more..from the previews..he might not make it far..but he seems like the most grounded..well except for his hair which would be super flyaway.

Dumbest part of the show...when Becca said that Arie is banned from her state. How embarrassing. Are they going to build a wall? Border patrol. So dumb.

A few other random observations/thoughts:
-Ricky does not have a poker face. I loved watching his reactions to everyone
-The First Impression Rose tray is from Anthropologie
-Sometimes mini-vans do win
-I bet there were some really smelly feet in the bachelorette mansion after the rose ceremony ended.
-Becca re-curled her hair mid way through the night.

That's all I got..until next week..when I do this damn thing over again..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!