O..and not the Cirque de Soleil show

O is the shape my mouth makes when I yawn.

Did this show feel sooo long. I have  feeling this is going to be a short report.

O is also the reason why this felt so tedious. Olivia's soliloquy's were totally overdone. You know, she confirms my bias about people who boast too much...they typically are overcompensating.

First date:
Jo-Jo. That is the only time I heard that name since Kci and Jo-Jo.
Jo-Jo is super cute. And she had a fab top on . But how did that top stay together? How was it attached to her body? Especially with the helicopter windstorm..i thought that was going to be like the iconic Marilyn Monroe caught in a windstorm..but seriously..that top stayed put. Quite a helicopter windstorm and some collateral damage..I bet if Jubillee was in her place , she would have had the situation neutralized. But Jo-Jo took the opportunity and Ben and her  issed by the overturned table. Romance in adversity. They've got a chance. They had a flight..sat in a hotel..he played suggestively with her bracelet. What was the story with the her ex. "There were other people in the relationship" Huh? Intrusive family? Another girlfriend? what? But that was all of 5 months ago..so she's ready...the date concludes with fireworks show..and the girls back at the Aria hotel were jealous. She got the rose.

Group date: (lack of) Talent show
You know..I wonder what talent I would have pulled out if I was in that situation. Hmm. Croatian dancing.mmm. no. Trombone playing? no.  Maybe a killer polka. Kinda hard to polka alone. I can kill it as a wedding emcee...but beside that..I'm not sure what I would do.
The twins did an amazing performance. Impressive that Jubilee could play the cello. I think they won. Olivia's performance was awkward to watch. The ensuing panic attack seemed like  a " things didn't go right, so I want some attention and sympathy".

Cocktail party..
I just forgot who was wearing the pantsuit-but that pantsuit was on point!
What is a sex panther?..i mean besides Cailla. and the cologne from Anchorman What did Ben mean exactly. Oh he meant a tigress. Right... (?????)
Olivia made an attempt to apologize to Ben. Eek. She's just not herself. I'm not sure what her self is...but there is so much artiface.
Speaking of artifact...does Ben like one of them..he seems to be kissing everyone..well except for Amber..because she's never around...
Lauren B gets the rose.

Becca
She gets a 1:1.  I like Becca. She just seems pretty chill. Clearly she has a lot of patience:)
She gets a wedding dress...isn't that supposed to be some kind of bad luck. Not the getting married part..but putting a dress on when you aren't getting married. Dunno...I heard that somewhere..so it must be true.
They go to a chapel and marry people. Kinda awkward..but hopefully the couples didn't have to pay for their weddings since they sold a special moment for a minute of fame on a reality show . Nice to see Becca changed into a less wedding-y dress. Ben looked great in his unbuttoned shirt.
They move to a creepy place with refurbished neon signs. Ben grills her about what it's be like to stay a virgin. She seems unaffected. Nice. From that Ben concludes that she is committed to her virginity, she is good at other commitments. They  make vows to each other.

Twin on 1 I mean Two on 1 date

This might win for the weirdest date in history. Sisters and he takes them home to their mom. So so weird, so so wrong. Speaking of distressing, let's talk about the mom's jeans. There was more distressing in her jeans that the drama of picking between the twins. Ben visits each twin's room to add extra weirdness..but Haley still has her ex in a frame. Haley seemed to have a lot of bras at home.seriously...i'm sure she brought 20 to the mansion..but she has that many left over.Whoa. Emily didn't need to throw Haley under the limo..I think the framed ex photo did Haley in. Regardless, Emily and Ben are laying in Emily's room and Emily tells him that he she is more into this than Haley.
The piece-de-resistance was Ben breaking up with one of the daughters in front of the mom. Oddly, he did it with finesse.
Emily takes the limo back.


Rose Ceremony
Olivia does a last ditch plea. Ben kisses a lot of girls.
And he kicks off Rachel and Amber.
Rachel will go back to being unemployed. Amber.well...i'm not sure if she's left the pool lounge chair.
those tears..are not for Ben...it's taking stuff personally...

WEll...the show drew to a dramatic clOse..and until next week..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

E-MO-TION

Yes...E-MO-TION is the critically acclaimed 2015 album released by Carly Rae Jepsen,..but is definitely the theme of this show.

When the show opens, Chris arrives at the mansion All the girls lined up on the U shaped couch formation...I wonder if producers ask them to gather and wait.
First one on one..

Bi plane ride. Is the Bi that there are two rows of seating. Lauren B..the flight attendant is appropriately chosen for the flight date. I'm not into planes but the yellow plane is adorbs. What's not so adorbs is that they do a fly by near the mansion..the girls deduce that it's Lauren and Ben's date. Then they are sad.

Lauren B correctly identifies there is one propeller on the plane! Must be the aviation experience.
I was liking her off the shoulder scrappy, yet still with sleeve shirt. Looked so cute. I wonder if it got cold up there with  her breezy top.

Speaking of breezy and being a top..they stop in the middle of nowhere..with a jacuzzi! Maybe they bought it at the hot tub store from last week's show. Lauren went to go change into her bathing suit behind a tree..and they sat in the hot tub. Lauren seemed kinda sweet..talked about her dad. A LOT.
After some hot tubbin' or jaccuzzin' Is there a difference?) they are off to dinner.Ben shared that his dad had triple bypass and he realizes that family is important.there was caring and sharing on that date.
Ben digs her..and she gets the rose.
Oh..and there's another concert...I think this show is already setting a record for concerts and plane rides...

Back at the Mansion...Olivia is melting down.thinking she won't get a rose..as is Cailla..the girls that are listening to them..show no compassion.


Soccer!

Group date..nothing new here..they compete against each other..the winners get to spend time with Ben.Stripes win. Olivia is on that team. There's a cocktail after party.
the girls get super catty...talking about Olivia's breath and her ugly toes.  Seriously. toe gossip. This show has hit a new low.


One on one
Jubilee...gets the date!! She is in shock. She really doesn't seem like she has a lot of confidence.
She looked AMAZING on the date..she looked fab in white. Enroute to the helicopter..she made a snide comment..but she gets awkward..no worries Jubilee.I totally get awkard. They helicopter off and she magically gets over her fear of heights and they go to a spa that looks desolate and deserted but beautiful. Someone left behind some canapés and caviar...which Jubilee had spit out. I've never had caviar... I intensely dislike tapioca so i"m guessing I would have had the same reaction.
So after a tiring helicopter ride they must have  swim. Jubilee looked smokin' in her bikini.  oh..before that she joked that he was a white boy...which he is..then he found it funny...I don't get it..but that made her relaxed. The date was progressing well.
Over dinner..so many emotions spilling..then tears..it seemed totally legit. I'm wondering if Ben is trying to be a rescuer. He says her likes her layers. Yes.she has fine layers.Regardless, he asks interesting probing questions...i still heart Ben..he gives her the rose..she accepts..and sits on his lap..being 40 cm away from him is too far...so the lap it is.
i'm sensing there may be some co-dependence

Rose ceremony..tense and sad
holy smokes...it's 3rd week in and so much tension...Ben has two deaths of close friends...and there is so much drama...Jubilee is pulling back..Olivia pulls ben aside to talk about her insecurities..seriouslY? the guy has suffered a major loss and she watns to talk cankles..I was hoping he would pull the plug on that relationship. Amber is freaking out an needs to settle things with Jubilee..and she has taken on a house spokesperson role...Lace is thinking she won't get a rose...but then decides to bail on the show..and says she realized that she doesn't feel loveable and needs to work out her self...
Olivia ends up getting a rose and the bartender from St. Albert doesn't...and says she's going to start buying cats..Shushanna got the boot...did we know she was a mathematician?? well she did some serious miscalculations..oh.random comment.did you notice she was wearing a watch at the rose ceremony? How important is knowing what time it is at the rose ceremony..I thought it was an odd accessory. Becca seems to be pulling a Survivor tactic..totally under the radar and she;s keeping steady..and had fabulous lip gloss.

Until next week...Ben..I really really really really really really like you and I LOVE THIS SHOW!!

Ben Ben Ben

I think I'm falling for Ben.
This guy seems pretty straight up and genuine. I'm not sure how he kept it together with might be the lamest group date in history..Bachelor High.
It's easy to criticize the group date. I know this show loves themes and stereotypes...but Bachelor high really appealed to the lowest common denominator of what might be a high school experience - competing for affection, feeling excluded...and whatever a home coming queen is supposed to be. I guess the homecoming queen is not predictive of future bachelor success given that Mandi didn't stay another week. But she does get to go back to a good job..if she still has a job after she portrayed herself as an odd dentist.
I was a bit surprised that people didn't know where Indiana was. I didn't get the bobbing for apples thing. is that a school activity? And the exploding volcano. Hahaha...Well..that's the just foreshadowing for the FOD.
Did anyone else notice that Becca's make-up is on point? And I am loving the grey/blue colours of dresses she's picking..she looks fantastic. Jubilee is also a stunner. She  seems to have a bit of a temper and that makes her less beautiful..but she's so gorgeous. I also think Ben is not alone in the unloveable department. Lace is showing signs that she needs a lot of validation.
And why was Jo Jo  the real estate person so amazed to be on top of a building? Maybe she only sells low rises. But she seems legitimately astounded at the height of that building.

Back at the house..I'm starting to notice and be annoyed by Olivia. I liked her the last week..but the part that annoys me is that her mouth is always agape.

One on one date: Caila. She's adorable and understated. She was pretty mesmerized by Ben...but seriously.. you have Ice Cube and Kevin Hart on the date and she pretty much ignored them. I can't believe she didn't have more fun with those guys. I thought the cheap date was funny. Note I only find cheap dates funny when the guy isn't cheap..it's supposed to be funny:) The hot tub date in the hot tub store was hilarious. Loved it.
Then they went out for dinner..Caila didn't touch her 9 cups of pasta..and then they walked by a theatre when some guy was singing for them. Amos Lee. Mary who is that??? Sorry I only know people who are on the American Music Awards. Please don't judge me. Hey, but at least I can pick out Indiana and Indonesia on a map..i just have bad music taste:)

Camila go the rose. She's adorbs. And Ben asked her questions. Way to go Ben. So many dudes don't ask questions.

Group date #2: More science
Whoa..so much science this show. I was most  taken with Shushanna speaking!! Is she taking English lessons at the mansion?? Olivia was on this date..and she had her either agape or flapping the whole time. Now she's wanting to get into the other girl's heads. Seriously? If you're that confident, why would you want to try to bring people down. I call BS on her confidence.
But back to the Love lab..i thought the smelling part was weird. I felt bad for the girl who failed the smell test and it was announced publicly. No, it's not enough that you have women trying to make  you feel insecure but a 'scientist' says you got the lowest score. My thoughts went to Shushanna..where i thought that there would be sulphurous remnant cabbage smells..but apparently it doesn't linger..excellent..I feel 100% confident in my frequent sauerkraut consumption will not be a roadblock on my amazing journey to true love for the right reasons:)
But back to Shushanna for a second.she came to the US to buy a car with $400 and one pair of jeans? Please.There's more to the story than that. I know that binge watching Narcos and Making a Murderer doesn't make me superlative detective, but you can't just drop into the US just to say you're going to buy a car. Something fishy doing on with Shushanna..and Ben didn't catch it on the smell test.

Olivia got the rose on the date.



Rose Ceremony

Olivia 'steals' Ben. sigh. so selfish. She says you can't rest your laurels. Olivia..the idiom is "you can't rest on your laurels"...ugh! Lace is becoming unhinged. She is sharing her unloveable side with Ben..and Ben graciously listens. Amber complains voraciously about not spending time with Ben but makes no effort. Ben develops a photo (whah? how very 2003) for Leah..who?. Emily from Vegas has another hideous dress..which looks like it was a curtain at a Vegas hotel in 1997. Olive looks beautiful. Becca is rocking the perfect nude lip.
I nearly teared up (that almost never happens..well maybe when Sean picked Katherine..but that's the only time)..when Ben made barrettes with Amanda for her daughters. Ben wins. Sweet sweet sweet.

During rose handout time..LB.gets picked and takes Ben aside and says she can't hack being there. Just as an aside..as  fashion buyer..i thought she would have had better outfits..and better earrings..her chandelier earrings were not super dangly nor super chandelier-y. Hmm...maybe she's a buyer for Wal-Mart..dunno. She rejects her rose.
The twins get roses (why?). and Amber gets her rose....likely because LB's was thrown back in the pile. I was surprised the lawyer didn't get picked. But that dress..whah? seriously...I think someone had that dress at my high school grad. What was that?

Well..hopefully Amber steps up her game and Olivia closes her mouth  next week..
Until then.. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

I see you

Happy New Year everyone:) Hope everyone had a great Christmas...and this is the second most wonderful time of the year!! The Bachelor season is upon us!
!!! That means there will be glitter and glossess , sequins and sparkles,  sparkly and shimmer , alcohol and attitudes and vanity and venom!!

Happy 8th year of the Rose Report:) 8 is a lucky number..and I feel very lucky that I get to watch the Bachelor on the big(ger) screen...I graduated from a 32 to a 55 inch glorious TV!!!!! So pumped that I got it this Saturday in time for the Bachelor..after it was all set up and connected..and within 2 hours...it all went blue...people on my TV look blue..like Avatars -not literally like descendants of the deities on earth as per Hindu mythology..but like ones from the movie Avatar.

So I was so grateful to see it on a big screen..but everyone looked blue..and I could barely make out what colours the dresses were..and my personal favourite thing to do is check out how the women skillfully apply their make up.  Next week...i'll get a replacement for this..and hopefully I get to do a closer make up examination.

But from what I could make out on the big blue screen was this show will be a lotta drama.
I don't remember Ben too much...but I do like his brutal honesty about potentially being unlovable...pretty honest for a reality show...He reminds me a bit Michael Buble...one the verge o being really cute...but he's mainly super likeable.

The mini Bachelor reunion..was definitely a time filler...this sound shallow..but Mesnick could have used some of his appearance feels for a hair style or some product..he definitely had some lego hair going on. Chris looked adores..and Sean looked sweaty..that guy always looks sweaty..hopefully he hydrates.

The girls...you know..the memorable pitch out to the limo is becoming trite. It's almost original not to have gift, token, momento, sporting reference, hoverboard or farm animal to present to Ben.
Cue the eye roll when there is a clever play on words "I hope to land a man" says the flight attendant. Blah blah.
What I didn't get was the cue card game at the cocktail party..the real estate person drew cards and she put them over her head (why?) so that Ben could guess what she did. I think it's suppose to be a take the game hedbanz..but she missed the point...the Headband that got more attention was the dentist. It was alike a large homemade fascinator..but it commanded attention. Her appeal to oddities seems like a career limiting move.  She also brought dental implements to give Ben an oral exam. I'm with Mandi that I wouldn't date someone who didn't floss. Ain't nobody got time for gingivitis.
What is up with Shushanna..so she understands English but chooses not to speak it. She gave a definite "Da" for the rose. Even though Ben's from Warsaw Indiana..he doesn't have a slavic bone in his body.

Other "highlights" Becca's back! hahahahaha..for those of you who are in Sephora as often as I am..you'd get that:) Becca happens to be one of my favourite highlighting powder (Champagne pop..the collaboration of Becca and Jaclyn Hill)..anyway.I had to use that:) I freaking love that highlighting powder. But in all seriousness..I'm not sure why everyone's knickers are in such a knot when they know Becca is on..actually Becca's knickers are always in a knot..that' s why they feel oddly threatened.  From what I recall about Becca..was that she wasn't that bright..but she was nice and I loved the way she did her make up..(note I can't comment on her make up on this show..because they all looked blue remember)

This brings me to Lace..appearances are deceiving...she looked demure and elegant..but alcohol seemed to bring out her inner hotmessedness (I think that should be the Oxford 2016 new word). She needed so much reassurance. So. Much. She need to have the first kiss. Then requested a second (Awkard). Then Ben came back to say that he thought she was awesome but that wasn't enough for her. Olivia getting the first impression rose made her anger.

Oh Olivia..she seemed calm..and that made her attractive. The only thing I query is quitting a full-time TV job to pursue this. Call me suspicious..but i see that she is doing this to get more exposure.I loved her hair length...fantastic.

Oh..Jubilee. It looked like she had a white dress on . She looked killer! Amazing!! Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Scandal..but she totally reminded me of Olivia Pope.

The twins. Weird. The premise. Weirder. The dresses. Awful They're from Vegas..isn't that the land of the outlet malls. Don't tell me that's the best you could do.

Amber....i'm glad she got the rose..she seemed a bit fragile from last season..but that hair. What was that?

The chicken enthusiast. Whoa...I enjoy poultry cooked. Getting that close and living with a chicken. I just think avian flu. ewwww. Did she fly the coop? I  can't call if she stayed.

What I do know is the Ben doesn't like onesies..and red velvet. Later ladies. He also let go the
"nutritional therapist" aka bread basher. Hating gluten Breanne is very 2015...:)

Right after the roses were handout out and the rejected bachelorettes skulked away from the mansion..Lace needed more time with Ben...to ask why he didn't make eye contact with her during the rose ceremony..He needs to tell her that awesome quote from the Avatar movie.

"I see you".

Until next week I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!