What happened to Jo Jo's stylist?

This show made every attempt at passion..drama, arts, tango...

It all fell flat.

Especially the first date..where on the date card called out.Besame..

That shout out on the card was for Wells.

Apparently Wells hasn't kissed Jo Jo yet..and the guys were giving him a hard time and/or were surprised he hasn't kissed her yet. So. Odd. 

I found it so odd that they thought it was odd that he hadn't kissed her yet and they were all sitting around saying that he really should kiss her or he'd be gone. So they want all to be swapping spit with each other. I guess on one hand they are very encouraging of one another. It just seems bacteria-laden and kinda like brother husbands (the opposite of sister wives)

Wells looked fantastic. They go out in a market..and in the time honoured Bachelor fashion- he buys her a piece of jewellery. They go into what looks like a museum to view an art installation but there are people cavorting in water sliding above. They go do some performance art..Slipping into some water gear and doing some slip and slide sets the mood for Wells..and they kiss! It's all good..and I don't get as creepy a feeling as when I see Nick or Luke kiss Jo Jo.

Then they head to a hot dinner..so hot that Wells has to take his jacket off. Wells makes a few mistakes...First..he doesn't tell Jo Jo that he's falling for her Second he said that the passion died in his 4 year relationship and they were just best friends. Jo Jo didn't like that- I thought she didn't like the "just best friends" but she didn't like the "the passion died part". Jo Jo is looking for unicorns and fantasy..and she thinks it exists..The sad music came on..Wells is on his way out..

And Jo Jo went to the concert with the performance artists solo. And it rained on her. Pathetic fallacy? We will see...

Group date: a walk..and soccer..

The group date guys go for a walk...then they play soccer. Jo Jo's amazing boots turned into running shoes. 

When the guys (with defined abs) would score a goal..they would lift their shirt up...as some homage to the goal scored.

Then they go sit around somewhere so Jo Jo can have more one on one time to get to know  get flattered by and kissed by the guys.

Luke is first up. Luke is very solemn and is very serious about kissing her.  He's very intense..which borders on too much..but not for Jo JO.she says she's running out of words" to describe the passion they have. All know is he likes to squeeze her thigh and rummage through her hair like he's doing a pat down.

Meanwhile..the not as passionate but super enthusiastic says he's on a train to Jo-Jo ville. Wow James..that's so romantic.Well he may be on the train to Jo Jo ville but he's not conducting himself in a mature way- he uses he 1;1 time to tell Jo Jo that Jordan is entitled because of dispute about the rules of a poker game. sigh..James wants to be upstanding...but you don't get there by putting other people down. Then after telling on Jordan he says "now can i kiss you". Yeesh. He's not got game.

Jo Jo is so upset with this that that she takes Jordan aside and holds his hand and strokes his hair and tells him what she wants to be told and gives him answers to the questions she is asking. Shockingly, Jordan is exonerated. But Jordan is upset by this acton of James' and goes back to the room full of guys and furiously swirls his white wine. That Jordan gets so scary when he's angry.

And the winner of the rose is...Luke. Because he  brought the passion...and left it..on Jo Jo's tonsils.

Most Awkward 2:1 date

A 2:1 date can't be un-awkward..but a 2:1 with a 2:1 tango. Wow. I think I looked away from the TV  more than when Luke kisses Jo Jo. Chase and Derek came to this date to win her over. Derek confidently stated that he's there with his heart and Derek is there with his mind.

That dress was not attractive..did Jo Jo's stylist not make it to Argentina or did the US dresses get stuck in customers and they had to "buy local".

After the dancing they had dinner..and Jo Jo had another unfortunate dress that looked like it had black lace added to it as an afterthought. 

I thought Derek was going to get the rose..but when Chase had 1:1 time Jo Jo told him what she needed to hear and he got the rose. Even though she had to tell him what to say and he looked like a waiter..he still got the rose. Jo Jo said Adio to Derek..and he was left driving away in a black van while the shots switched from  Chase and Jo Jo making out all high school dance like to the song Don't Cry for Me Argentina..while Derek is driving down some unfamiliar roads in Buenos Aires..hopefully he made it out okay..well except for the tears streaming down his face

Who wore it the worst-the cocktail party

Can we take a moment to say that was a hideous blue dress and there were some equally horrible suits.

James Tip Top/Sears catalogue green shirt/tie combo..Alex's awful satin-y tie..that he can't quite tie up...maybe he has a bulging Adam's apple to match is biceps..and then Robbie I don't wear socks tight cream suit. That suit severely limited his ability to have a normal gait. And then Jo Jo's dress..I"m sure someone from my grade 12 grad had that dress...that dress had it all..spaghetti straps, sequins, satin, cinching, length and a train. 

Jordan promises we wants to be in love and engaged at the end of this. Note what he did not say in that statement..it's left for Jo Jo to interpret..and she lapped it all up.

James promises her he will always be there for her

Alex-oh who cares..he's so annoying.

This was such a twist! She hands a rose to Robbie (which he barely made it over to her without splitting his pants)..then Jordan..then declares she can't give out the final rose..and what happens TWO ROSES!! 

James is so thankful.

Alex is yipping that it's a pity rose and he never gets a one on one date.

Where are they going next week...Looks like they are back in the U S of A.

Hopefully Jo Jo's stylist is back with us next week..

Until then

I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Jet lag

This episode felt like jet lag. You know that feeling when you wake up and don't know where you are what day it is or what time it is.

It's been two weeks since  the last bachelorette.and the episode was all messed. The last episode didn't have the aerial shot of the champagne glasses clinking and toasting to the next location 'she' planned for everyone.

It started in Nemacolina Pennyvania (whah, where?) at night and a steamy front door with Chad ominously running his hands down it. He must of followed the bread crumb  protein powder trail back to the house (shameful waste of whey...they likely threw out about $50 dollars worth out there.)

Chad kinda confronts the guys about what happened on the disastrous 2:1..and he starts laying blame..and says his only choice is to get physical...but he does not...hmm. His pool of amino acids is likely low..because he's been wandering the woods where is only readily available food stuff was berries...he probably was  avoiding  the carbs. Evan has the nerve to ask if Chad has his wallet because he wants payment for his shirt..his shirt was likely the same cost as the whey protein isolate that  the guys carelessly tossed into the air.

Evan. is. so annoying.

Chad leaves, unfueled, maybe a bit from anger..and walks into the woods..I didn't see any type of transport to shuttle him away. All that cardio is going to wreck his gainz.

The men that are left happen to have  cupcake cake and cheer that Alex slayed a dragon..and that he's America's hero.  I would disagree. I"m not sure if I find Alex or Evan more annoying.

At the cocktail party..Jo Jo arrives in a sparkly oddly patterned sequined dress. Most of her wardrobe is on point..especially her date outfits..but wasn't a fan of the sparkly dress..and I think her make-up artist hits the bronzer hard..and what the flutter is going on with those eyelashes. There is no space between the lashes. It's a solid dense line of lashes.
But at the cocktail party Chase secured some balls (there needs to be a lot more of that in the house)..but these were bouncy balls that they were playful in. Robby wore loafers with his suit..and he took her near the fountain and kissed her. The guys get jealous..the mood is shifting..Chad is no longer the villain..so they slowly start to pick each other apart.
James wrote a poem..but spared money to put it on a decent piece of stationary.
At the rose ceremony..
James and Daniel are cut. I'm SO HAPPY VINNY STAYED...(and for some reason Wells is getting cuter by the second)
James makes a gracious exit...he seems lovely..but he could have used a stylist.
And Daniel could use a word stylist.I loved his quote "She must be going for personality, because look at the bodies of Wells and Evan"..ahahaha..i liked that he thought he was giving himself a compliment but ended up insulting himself...that guy...should read a book and stop talking.

And the men are off..to..where the rich play...to Uruguay!!!???
(is it really..or is that what the Uruguay tourist board says??)

The good news in Uruguay is that James' eye seems to be healing nicely.

Wells got cuter on the plane ride over.
Jordan gets a first date. The see seals, hang out in a yacht..both looking amazingly buff, jump in the water..go to dinner where she lightly grills Jordan about an ex girlfriend. Basically she wanted to reassure herself that he's not a playah. Well...we know he's not an NFL player..but a playah. He tells her he's not, and quotes his pastor..and she believes him and quickly affixes a rose to his lapel. They dance in the streets. Let's just talk about underwear for a second...was she not wearing any..like she had no lines in that white dress. She looked amazing in that dress..hmmm.wonder if she picked a white dress with Jordan because she wants to send him a subtlenotsubtle message

Back at the house..Vinny was giving the guy haircuts. I love Vinny. They read some magazine about Jo Jo being in love with her ex. They seem to believe it.
When Jo Jo is back from her  seamless date, the producer tells here they need to address the magazine. She cries, head to the guys' room  and reassures them she is here for ................. you got it..the RIGHT REASONS. And she cares for all the guys..a lot..except for the 3 that will be going home in a bit.

 Then they all are supportive of her and don't believe the magazine. .
Group date: Sand surfing and party
Wells, still adorable, doesn't get time with Jo Jo. James tries valiantly to surf. Evan's nose doesn't bleed. Alex does a back flip which impresses Jo Jo. I think Jo Jo likes when guys do back flips for her:)

At the after surf party..Derek opens up and tells her he has felt distant and a bit jealous. He gets the rose..and Alex gets his knickers in a knot...and  proceeds  to pester Derek about it. Alex is like a little bully..and he called Derek a little b#@$h.  Twice. Who is the bully now?


Robby....gettin' real
Robby seemed a bit milque toast for me..well..until he started to get all vulnerable. They had a date..where once again her  outfit was perfectly curated for the date..slightly nautical, casual, comfortable..and she happened to have her bathing suit on underneath. They jump off a cliff into water. That means something in Bachelorandia..it means that if you do some scary thing on a date, you can overcome life's obstacles together. They jumped off a super high cliff..Jo Jo felt secure with him because he's an Olympic swimmer. I'm not sure how that qualifies him to be a cliff diver. But the survived..and made it to dinner. Robby shared that he realized life is short...and he told her that he loved her...They walk outside..and fireworks.


Cocktail Party  No need...Straight to the ceremony


Chris announces he has her mind made up..no ceremony. Guys are worried. Especially Alex.
Jo Jo killed it in her green dress. She looked amazing.

She lets Grant, Evan and..sniff Vinny go.
Grant was upset..Evan..took it personally. He thought he needed more time..no..that's not it unfortunately.
Let's take a moment for Vinny. He's funny, stylish..AND he cut the guy's hair. I liked Vinny..he was sad..he thought their feelings for each other were real.

I'm so sorry to see Vinny go.

Thankfully..i don't have to wait two weeks to watch again!!  Back on schedule.and i think the rose ceremonies will be in their rightful place..at then end of this show.

Until next week.. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Bonus bachelorette

It's bonus time at the Bachelorette.
No rose ceremony but a pool party. There was blood spilled...Evan had a nose bleed in the pool and they all evacuated. So when that happens does the pool get drained? Do they pour extra chlorine in?
The blood wasn't Chad's fault...it was just a random occurrence ...Chad tells everyone to stay away from him. Jo Jo manages to find a secret spot to kiss a lot of the guys.It seems like she seems likes everyone.
Rose ceremony
Christian, Ali and Nick go home
(I'm so glad she kept Vinny!)

They all go the Nemacolin resort where Jo Jo hopes the mansion drama is behind them

Luke and the mushing
I thought dog mushing only happened on snow. There was a lot of mush on this date..surprise Jo Jo likes him..they hit a hot tub (they both look amazing in swim wear)..then have a serious fireside chat.Jo Jo is drawn to his confidence.Luke appreciates moments and really likes Jo Jo...and one more surprise! Luke gets the time honoured tradition of dancing in  crowd on an elevated platform.
he gets the rose..and I think Jo Jo like everyone. Maybe she's just taking Caitlin's advice "enjoy every one".

Dishwashing break
When I saw it was football date with famous American football players and involved a football game..i got up to do dishes.
One team won to spend more time with Jo Jo. James got injured and evan got a random bleeding nose. Jordan excelled at football..and got the rose.

2:1 Nick and Chad and Jo Jo
I was most looking forward to this date. Nick donned his American socks . Chad seemed more rugged...but maybe Nick is more used to water:) Sigh.Nick told Jo Jo that Chad threatened Jordan. Jo Jo then pulls the plug on Chad. Nick and Jo Jo walk hand in hand and leave Chad whistling in the bushes.

But it's not over..Chad somehow meanders slowly to the house...and

we find out in two weeks........
What? Is there something big happening next Monday...ugh..I don't like waiting..but

I still LOVE THIS SHOW!

It's getting hot in here

Whah? A two night extra-vanganza? Yes...an extra night of the Bachelorette.

Yoga Date:
Jo-Jo and Chase have a date. Can we just take minute to give it up for how amazing they both look in their yoga wear. I think it was in a hot yoga studio..and they both looked amazing sweaty. Jo-Jo's pony tail was extra perky.  I think I saw a FB post on how to make that happen. All i know is my gym hair never looks that good. Props Jo-Jo and to your stylist.
But back to the yoga pose where Jo Jo aptly states she mounts and straddles Chase. I'm not sure if it was that or the locked gaze (I did listen to a podcast once about a guy who started a dating thing where people stare into each other 's eyes) but they kiss..and were did the instructors go?

They change, freshen up and head to a vineyard. Chase asks her how she can remember the moment going forward. Awww sweet. Chase opens up..that he values marriage..he consider's it a 'one and done' ..hmm..I think of cream eyeshadow as a one and done type of thing.

Oh and it wouldn't be a Bachelorette.if there wasn't a private concert. I'm not sure if Chase can't dance of if he just wanted to make out with Jo Jo....he's feeling the feels and feeling the bachelorette...


Love has not secrets - group date
Umm..well that was the name of the group date..a bit of a misnomer..The group date has the guys doing stand up comedy / recounting a sexual encounter. Umm..i'm on team Chad on this...unnecessary to be so revealing. Chad was already feeling test-y....like annoyed that he was on a group date..but then got extra testy when he was accused of taking steroids, by Evan. No need for Chad to rip Evan's shirt..but Chad likely has good grip strength (given all the curls and presses and lifting we've seen on the show) and Evan's shirt got in the way.
Vinny doesn't get a lot of air time.but I think I like him..as well as the boxing guy...and props to the boxing guy for keeping he nose out of the fray in the house and among the guys and he's the one with the most fighting experience.
Nick and Evan are getting so annoying with the anti-Chad rhetoric..for some reason I expected more from a marine..more mental toughness.Evan gives Jo Jo an ultimatum...I knew I'd be annoyed by Evan but to have her make the decision instead of him..ugh..oh..and his jeans.at the show..I know ripped denim at the knee is a thing now..but didn't his seem extra super ripped/gaping hole? Dunno.would love your feedback.
Jo Jo gives Evan the rose...and I laughed when Chad looks at he quizzically..and then says "you're really vibing this guy"...i thought the same thing. I don't think Chad's an angel..and  him punching the door was dumb..but i agree with him a lot. Way too much tension and flared tempers on that date. Good thing they had the comforting ride in the paddy wagon the way back..what was that vehicle? Looks like they were being transported to jail. Well..the bachelor mansion kinds is like being in jail. But I do  think that jails have better gyms.


Will it heat up with James
Chase gets a hot yoga class and straddling and James gets a swing dance class .. Will this work for James? James and Jo Jo get a lesson in what looks like a complicated swing dance lesson..then they head out doors..private concert.NO! Maniacal swing dancing. James happily obliges and they free-style.then Jo Jo drives them to a cliff where they have some type of beverage in matching insulated containers (this blog is brand-free:) and the chat. James divulges that he was bullied when he was younger..because of his thin neck...what did they call him."stick neck"..Hey James what is the one word  you can think of that rhymes with Karol (okay feral does but elementary kids typically don't know that word..but barrel..so i'm feeling your pain about name calling)...I wonder if James gets grade school flashbacks from all the bullying that goes on in the house..maybe that's why he wants to have sing alongs in the house.
He continues to say that he feels like women wouldn't be interested in him and he feels like he self destructs..I'm not sure if Jo Jo then gave him the rose out of sympathy...BUT he brought his guitar..and sang her a song..and she was feeling the feels..then they kissed. A lot. Good job James. I think James is falling in love with himself and Jo Jo.

Back at the prison. mansion
So worst/funniest comment of the night came from damn  dumb Daniel..when he was coaching Chad "So let's say you're Hitler"...to which Chad replies "let's not say that". Then let's say Mussolini..no Donald Trump..I think Daniel's point was for Chad to tone it down and not be so disliked. The comparatives were horrendous...You'd think as a Canadian he'd be all "Dude..be a little less Stephen Harper and a little more Justin Trudeau."

Speaking of standing on guard for thee...security has now been called in to keep watch over the house because the guys think that Chad's fromage is going to slip off his craquelin and that he will attack. Really? This whole thing is taped and there are people all over the place...

Evan..(i'm actually annoyed typing his name)..follows Chris after Chris announced no cocktail party but a pool party..and says that something needs to be done about Chad because of his deMEANor and threats of violence. Chris goes back in the house and talks to Chad. Chris is the consummate host ..and tells Chad what he has heard...and doesn't take sides..instead offers to Chris to come up with a solution that will be well received. Hmmm..I wonder how Chris will interpret that...well for that we have to wait until tomorrow..

Until then....I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!