Most dramatic conclusion of the Bachelorette ever!!!!...kinda...part 1

I'm emotionally exhausted..and it's only part 1.

I can't bring myself to pay true homage to Drew and Chris' date. Partly because Des is living a lie with those two and partly because nothing original happened on those dates...

Drew
Drew and Des drive to Betty's hope. Well at least Betty has it for this date because it is fading fast for the dudes that are not Brooks. They kiss..ad nauseum, even he has to pull over to kiss her. They go to a fake festival with 8 other people present where there is dancing and limbo-ing. They collect gifts for what Drew believes will adorn their future home: maracas, leaves fashioned into hearts and roses. They have a picnic. Someone forgets to cut the pineapple, so rugged Drew cuts it sans cutting board all by himself. They eat fruit. She loves and trusts Drew. She loves his passion. Mother Nature rains on Des' plans to have dinner on the beach. What was with Des' geometric trippy pants? I think someone lost her evening dress and handed her those pants.
 They cut right to the FOD where Drew accepts the card since he's already in the place. They have dessert on the bed.They have to kick the camera crew out. They have lots of passionate and intimate talking to do.


Meanwhile, back in Boise Brooks has to chat with mama and sister about his confusion. Speaking of confusion, whose house were they at the hometowns? I thought it was him mom's house, but then he flies to Boise to talk to his family. Details. Brooks doesn't know what to do. He's been thinking about his exotic date and the idea of proposing makes him feel uncomfortable. I really like how Brooks takes this so seriously and reflects on what he has to do..but if you feel uncomfortable about proposing you don't need Chris Harrison nor your mama to tell you it is not a good idea. Brooks' mom seems like such a good listener..his sister is great too....but wearing a bit too much eye makeup..


Chris
Roses are red
Roses are red
Chris' dates, I really dread.

Chris says he's truly, madly deeply in love with Des. yawn. Des meets up with Chris wearing a bikini top, pants and kind of a shredded vest thing. Someone had island fever picking her wardrobe. I mean Des looks great in a bikini..but the shredded vest looked a tad complicated.
Woot..helicopter date! Chris is afraid of heights. Downer. But with Des holding his hand he gets through it. They fly to Barbuda island. An island that looks like it is has no running water and like they are about to do some island camping. They roll around, kiss and then eat fruit.
Back to Antigua..Des has another unflattering dress and Chris looks like  he might have borrowed one of Des' tops. They kiss at the table..he accepts the FOD card..where ..Chris wants to watch the stars .
PS Chris wrote Des some prose. yawn again..

Brooks
Brooks arrives to chat with Chris. Chris Harrison should bump Dr. Phil as America's #1 therapist. He is  amazing at  eliciting emotion and words from difficult situations. He uses pauses and silence effortlessly. He asks open-ended and tough questions without being mean...and just in time..he lends support to the person in the 'hot seat'.
After that conversation with Chris, Brooks is going to tell Des.
Now that was the long good bye.
Brooks, dressed appropriately in blue, approaches Des. She immediately knows something is wrong. She demands that he talks to her. And then sadness ensues. As he talks, she just knows. At this point there is nothing he can say. He apologizes, tells her he wishes it was different. She tries to pull some emotional blackmail- you're breaking my heart, I know what it is like to love but not for it to be reciprocated, I have never felt completely loved, I wanted you to meet my family. That is all sprinkled with copious crying.
Des. Make. It. Stop.
She walks him down a road..but she doesn't want him to hug her, but then she hugs him. No joke..painful to watch. Then she goes and finally walks away, back to the dock where she was dumped. Brooks seems to have a mini-meltdown among the palms. I thought he was going to back to her.
I totally give him cred for not going through with the  FOD...and telling her sooner than later.

I know Des is already feeling pretty low..but why would she have the FOD with  the  sensitive Abercrombie guy and  TS Eliot? She said she knew that it was Brooks. I feel badly for the other guys.
This ain't gonna be pretty.
But  you know what it will be
The most dramatic conclusion in Bachelorette history.
Until next week's part 2..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

MTA

Men Tell All...the least favourite show of the season.

It is a show that could be 30 minutes. This is the show to watch if you want to re-capture any moment.

One thing this show likes to recapture are previous 'successful' bachelor couples..or even previous popular contestants.

Trista was there...wow..they get their money's worth from her. She's like the matriarch of the franchise..so much so that she deems who is 'deserving' of happiness. Sigh. Trista is tiresome. Ali, Emily and the also tiresome Ashley was there. Molly and Jason also show up to Bachelorette viewing parties...All I can think of is, do people dress up to watch the show. Not me..particularly this episode..i actually folded laundry, exfoliated and had a mud mask on for a good part of the show. There was not too much glamour going on in my condo watching the show.  But I did get my laundry folded.

I watched Men Tell All..mainly to see if Zak was okay.

Men telling all is really a misnomer. It really was a recapitulation, combined with video flashbacks.

Juan Pablo was lovely and a fan favourite. I doubt he'll be the next bachelor...but he is adorable and I love how committed he is to his daughter.

James and Mikey are two peas in large bods....they look and act all puffed up. James interview was not illuminating at all..likely because he's not very bright. Mikey came close to punching out Kasey. Kasey did a great job of structuring his arguments. The thing I find funny about James and Mikey's conversations about women back in Chicago...is that they keep talking about tall and wealthy women...kinda gives me the  impression that they are both gold diggers. Ewww..those two are so distasteful.

Speaking of which, Ben also leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He speaks of his aggression in pursuing someone...sounds very unromantic and very much like a game...and you guessed it ..'not for the right reasons'. And did Ben's baby mommy really find Dan in Vegas and  talk smack about Ben? Who knows..and really..who cares??

Whoa Zack. That guy is heavy duty...and actually comes across as a bit desperate...did he seem sad or dare I say a bit pathetic? And how did Chris get Des' diary that Zak bought for her? And then Chris read Zak's poem that was written in invisible ink? Seriously? This sounds so adolescent. Well..why write it in invisible ink, when it is going to be read on international television. Super odd.

Zak tells us he's 31...and he's a bit late to the dating party...and he doesn't want to see like the one off creepy guy...Well he does come off super strong..and he had to have a strong finish...and decided to end with a song that he wrote. And of course her performed it. Zak really is too much. I can't tell if Zak is sad for Des or sad for himself...not sure.

But what..what is it I hear...The most dramatic season ending ever? Chris Harrison says it is the most dramatic..and he guarantees it.

It seems like Des will go home empty handed. Literally.

Until next week

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Hometowns

I'm back in the blogging saddle..felt unwell last week so skipped the blog.
I came home to miss 17  minutes of the show and only to catch Zak giving Desiree a ring!!
Ahhh..whah???? She seemed touched to get it..And she gave him a Hoover-esque kiss of thanks.

Then ...the rest of the show was the fastest 1 hour and 43 minutes of my life..

Yup. Still no PVR.
Drew
All I have to say is that Des made some pretty solid decisions.
Drew...oh Drew..his hometown was..dare I say it..Amazing. The way he is with his sister. My heart melted into a puddle on the floor. Sealed it..Drew is da bomb. And his family seems pretty lovely..and he was straight with Des about his past.
I think I fell in love with Drew...even though he looks a little too Ambercrombie for my liking.

Chris.
Des flies over to Oregon..and meets  Chris in lovely natural setting...Surprisingly she sees so unimpressed with nosegay he picked for her. I thought she loved small gestures? Hmm..maybe she got used to roses. Des has something for Chris. If you guessed a poem. Good guess!! But wrong . Thankfully. That poetry likely brought on my malaise last week. She did bring a sketch pad and sketched all their special moments. Awww. No not really.

They play a little ball in sporty outfits..with black stuff under their eyes (I always thought they were drawn on not stuck on). Then they head over to the parents. Whoa..well...I always thought chiropractors were a bit off..and Chris' dad didn't do much to change my opinion. It wasn't that he did a back adjustment with super loud  popping on his potential future daughter in law..but it was the nose adjustment for Chris. That is supposed to give him more clarity? Like for his sinuses? or his nose for love? Dunno...just too much nose blowing close ups. Good thing Chris is a thorough wiper.

Chris' mom is pretty chill...so chill that she is almost aphasic. But at the end..Becky did approve of Des..but she seems cool as cucumber. Who was the person with bad blonde 90s 'do at table?

Brooks
Des loves Brooks..but does he love her back? Brooks is another stellar pick. Brooks is a pretty chill guy who seems to have his upper lip Bo-toxed...but he is so much more. Brooks runs toward Des..and they chat...Des presents an itemized list of the small moments that meant so much to her. It seems like she used all her paper sketching special moments for Chris. Even though she loves Brooks..it looks like she  borrowed a page from someone's notebook to write this all down. For someone who journals and sketches, it's surprising that she didn't have better paper for these important moments.
Okay...they head into a canoe! Des thinks it's a blast. And then they head 7 blocks over to the gargantuan family home.Holy. Does it house that huge family? Or is that the matriarch's house. Whoa...
His family does seem super lovely. The name tags were a nice touch.
Brooks...if I may again...is amazing. He asked probing and thoughtful questions. He really seems serious and introspective. His mom and sister both seem like strong females. Liked that too.
I think I'd fall for Brooks too.


Nate
What is this dude's problem? He did say that he didn't think it was right with Sean...but is he some
Nate predicting it is not meant to be....what is he some kind of Bachelor soothsayer? Just seems like he has a lot of anger? What is his purpose in the show? Filler? Their parting hug didn't seem warm..he just gave her a pat pat. Then he hung around the lobby and peered around pillars. Odd.

Debrief with Chris..
She professes she loves Brooks. Weird thing is that she still wants to go on with the other guys. If you realized you loved someone wouldn't you call it a day ?  These situations seem to be getting real..as real as you can get in this reality show....seems to me it would be more difficult as all these feelings get involved.
Ah well..not my show..

Rose Ceremony
Brooks (of course!)
Chris (okay i guess)
Drew (Mr. Adorbs)

But that means Zak...the fluid drilling engineer...gets cut...and the he is shocked. Des walks him out..and gives him the 'great guy' speech. Yikes. Not helpful. She gives the ring back (good touch). Poor Zak gives a pretty sad soliloquy in the limo. He's going back to a dark dark place. He doesn't want to be alone..and just wants to spend time with somebody. Then he gives the ring the same fate that he experienced...kicked to the curb! Boo...

Next week.men tell all!
But what drama is awaiting Des??!!!
Until next time...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!

Mucho ruido y pocas nueces (Much ado about nothing)

Ya-a-a-wwwn.

99% of that episode was the most boring episode. ever.

They are in Spain. Yesss!

The backdrop is gorgeous, the conversations are dry. Arguments are circular.

This episode was again about James and what he supposedly said to Mikey in the back of a car- the size of James apparently.

Noone would drop it.

Drew

Drew gets a one on one. Drew is falling hard for Des. At dinner, he grabs her and they run down a cobblestone street to 'escape' the camera. I would think the camera operators could catch up to them since Des is wearing 4 inch heels. Glad she didn't sprain an ankle..and he kisses her so 'passionately'.

What was with the dash? I'm pretty sure he signed a waiver allowing everything he said or did to be filmed. Drew is dud...he's a bit like 'guard and protect' Kasey...and he is laser focused on Des..and tells us all repeatedly. Drew also dips a bit too heavily into Dippity-do. His hair looks pretty flammable.

After Drew gets the rose he tells Des about James..Des is sad.

Group date..

Soccer game...You'd think Juan Paulo would be in his element..he was rocking the skin tight jersey and doing some fancy footwork. James however stood like a post in net..and expended likely less than 5 calories that whole game. James seems more like a weights guy than a cardio guy. He strikes me as someone who consumes a lot of chicken breasts and protein powder as mainstays in his diet.

Des and the girls win.

there is more conversation about what James said in the limo. (yawwwwwwwwn)

Zak

Zak the great kisser gets the one on one...they go draw some models. They then draw eachother and Zak does a funny drawing of her....a caricature of her that looks like it would appear in a horror film. Then Zak poses..likely to show is abs..they were lovely...I'm sure he could catch rainwater in them if he was lying down on a rainy day. Nice job Zak.

They go to dinner, in a cavernous restaurant..and they kiss in a dark hallway...but they didn't run away from the camera.

Des confronts James..in a prolonged discussion..James manages to talk about how this affects him. He's emotionally insolvent. Des still listens to his ramblings...She still doesn't send him home. Must have been that one tear he shed.

Here is where I think this show must have some effect on the psyche of those who are more emotionally vulnerable . There is some serious Bachelor groupthink that happens....and it is some weird Bachelor sociological phenonmena that the majority determines are the 'right reasons' to be there. You have to be there for the right reasons, be friendly with the others who are vying for the same 'prize' true love. Anyone that lives outside those rules is ostracized and reported on.

Yes James is a meathead, but do all of these guys have 100%  pure intentions going on the show? No!

So many of them say "i started on this thinking it would be fun, but then it got serious". James looked like he was lying...but if Des can't tell that by his lack of eye contact, she has judgment issues.

Des confronts James again...still doesn't send him home

Cocktail party cancelled!

Des sees the light and sends James packing...along with JP..this time even Juan Paulo even shed a tear.

Just when I thought all the drama was over..it looks like next week will be the most dramatic show ever!!

Until next week..
Me encanta este programa!!!