What's in a name - a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet

Juan Pablo - any other name I could think of him would not be sweet

Whoa..JP..this ees not okay at least in my books.

Granted..when he first stepped on the wet Bachelor mansion paving stones I thought a yi yiiii (long I sound) muy caliente.

But each episode he slipped a little and fell out of my favour.
I simply can't deal with his honesty. Call me judgy but I"m not a fan of a quasi-buff, attentive though not thought provoking who is always ready to have fun, be honest and straightforward. Ugh. Super tiresome. Can't deal with the honesty. But you gotta hand it to him, he's always salsa-ready.

And you can't blame anyone for the girls for not seeing the signs, let alone the huge red flags that his cousin and parents were waving on wildly on his behalf. I think they both had their rose colored glasses or contacts on.

Clare's visit
JP has one pretty attractive family. Mind you, you juxtapose anyone who shows care, attention to JP and they start to look beautiful. I found myself contemplating whether I could date Rodolfo. Cute accent...so he's got braces..if he came to Edmonton, he could see Dr. Mar and get that sorted out..and be like Luba and be all confident in his smile.
So Clare comes..looking lovely in purple..they sit for a family meal. JP's dad pulls out her chair and JP is feeding Camilla. I think if Camilla can put on a dance recital she can handle a fork. I"m not child development expert, but I think JP missed out that Camilla can feed herself milestone
JP's mom outright told Clare that JP is rude (foreshadow to helicopter date). Clare finds his honesty refreshing.  JP's dad was so loving and told Clare she would always have a father in him. (almost a tear..sniff..te quiero JP's dad)

Nikki
Nikki looked like her makeup was melting off in but she looked lovely in her dress. They all greet her warmly. JP's mom tells Nikki he is charismatic but not easy. JP's mom also tells Nikki that JP likes ot watch a lot of TV. (Fun! watching sports that JP wants to watch on TV...i cant' think of anything else more mind numbing..oh yes I can..hearing JP talk about himself) Meanwhile dreamy Rodolfo asks her how stalwart she is if JP talks about walking out on the relationship. Nikki..get the stethescope out of your ears..stop listening to hearbeats and start listening to words..these comments are symptoms of a big problem...JP...Your Rx would be to get into that white bus and get the hell off the island....but Noooo..she thinks she can handle JP. They are sounding the fire alarms but Nikki is choosing to walk toward the burning ring of fire. (and nope..not foreshadowing to a big ole Neil Lane diamond)

Final Dates.
Okay ladies (and dudes)....if you find yourself insulted, unsure or in tears after a date..that again is great indication that this is not the right person for you.

What was with Clare's yellow shorts. I get they were cut offs but they looked like they were freshly shorn with errant string flapping in the wind. What Clare should have cut off is her date with JP when he insulted her. I was never on team Clare only because I can't get behind her "this is a my fairy tale, this is what I"ve been waiting for my whole life (read engagement)" Like really, your life's pinnacle is your engagement? But I felt sick for her when she said she felt insulted and disrespected.

But she chose to hang on to his feeble words about kids and living in Sacramento as enough of an indication that he cared about her.

ugh.

Nikki gets on a boat. Her and JP lie on the beach and talk about their life together. Since JP doesn't have a lot of foresight..the convesation is short..and Nikki looks amazing in a bikini. Back at her place she gives him a card and a photo. JP has to read the card aloud. NIkki declares her love in nice block printing..and then JP kisses her on the forehead and picks up his stuff and leaves.

Nikki is crying (but dont' worry she feels better the next day because she wants to get a proposal)


Final Rose Ceremony
Both girls wear blue (perhaps because they will both be disappointed)..and both wear awful earrings that looks like the bought at the hotel gift shop. The both have to take an additional boat ride to get to JP..this JP is so hard to get to (and go get). I'd be ticked if I did my hair only for it to be blown in 60 km/h winds.

Clare..off the boat first...because JP isn't so good with conversation Clare has to start it! Then JP starts talking...and he says he wishes the earth would suck him in. Oh..not so smooth...then he says he has to do what's best for him and say good bye. Clare denies him a hug (gets clapping from Bachelor nation)..and then says he's not the man she thought he was. Then turns around to say i'd never want my child to have a father like you . and then kinda stormed off as best as she could in heels.

Nikki is next.she still hasn't found the right primer/finishing powder to keep her makeup adhered. She has a thigh high slit and can pull it off. She has to start the conversation..the eventually JP says I love your honesty, who you are..then says he promised her dad not to propose unless he was sure..Then he says I have a ring in my pocket and I'm not going to give it to you. Nikki is nodding...i'm not sure why..but she looks a bit bewildered. He offers up a rose..she accepts and then tells her not to get cranky (oh i'm sure it's a really funny inside joke). This JP is such a funny dude.


This was way too much JP for one evening..but according to after the rose..the good news is that JP wants privacy..and he and Nikki will be starting their relationship. She loves him..Chris grills JP about his feelings for Nikki...all the while I think it is just insulting to Nikki because Chris is trying to get JP to say it because that's what everyone wants to hear..Props to JP for not caving..and if Nikki wants to stay with JP because it feels right..well then all right all right all right...

on a positive empowering note...Clare did not want couch time with JP. She had her closure and she said this was the first time she was able to stand  up to a man....well..when the student is ready the teacher will come..and JP taught her that 'ain't nobody got time for dat'.
Namaste Clare..
Andi...godspeed on your bachelorette journey...
until next time (May 2014) I Love this show!!!!!!!!!

Women Tell Not Very Much

Sometimes I skip this episode. Historically, the women aren't very nice to each other and there are a lot of montages of unflattering moments. It's not the most uplifting of television viewing.

But first, we  have  a Bachelor success story and we all know that the Bachelor likes to celebrate their (few) success stories. I think we've examined every bit of Trista and Ryan...then Molly and Jason and now Sean and Katherine. They came on to tell everyone how happy they are. Katherine didn't seem as gushy as usual. And the fireworks comment. TMI.
Then there was another another odd movie promo..last week Fast and Furious..this week Muppets Most Wanted. JP makes a cameo in the promo...not suprisingly he did a good job looking quizzical. In other interesting news, Chris Harrison was trying to rock some scruff. The previous sentence sounded as awkward as scruff looks on Chris Harrison.

The girls really didn't turn on each other, they mainly turned on Juan Pablo. Well except for Sharleen and Renee. Sharleen probably is thinking that would be a good strategy for her to appear different and above this process. I think she also had to say some nice things to soften some of her comments "I wish I was dumber"...and she explained that statement by saying she wishes she didn't think so much. Yeah right. She looked very pretty.

 And Renee..Renee is usually the nice one. During Rennee's couch time with Chris she said "we were behind"...that sounds like game talk to me. This Bachelor process must be exhausting. Sidebar- I think Renee is pretty, but I"m not sure why her makeup repertoire consists of bronzer, mascara..and some ill chosen coral shade of lipstick (good call Anto). I think Renee is going for minimalist but it sometimes looks like 'just got out of bed'. And she's coyly said 'maaaay beee" when Chris asked her if she was in a relationship not sure why she didn't answer yes or no. Well that's good..glad she's happy..(not that you need a dude to be happy, but I think Renee really wants to find love)

The jist of the complaints is that JP wasn't straight forward. Well, I think not kissing someone you are interested in is straight forward. Lauren dimly stated that JP should act engaged..but if you don't want tsomeone to be fake why would by pretend to be engaged when you're not. Then Lucy the free spirit added that JP should have acted like he was in an individual relationship with everyone? Huh? No entiendo Lucy.

Andi toned down her commentary. She conceded she was interested in him, but then she felt insulted and disrespected..and chose to sleep off the rest of the FOD.

Cassandra chastised JP for taking Renee on a hometown. Whah? Why does she care if Renee is down with it?  I was mesmerized by Cassandra's make up job..looks like she's ready for the runway.

Are we bored yet?
JP came out. I liked his purple pocket square. He's says Ees okay a few too many times.
They show the bloopers.

There was not much to uncover in this episode. I think we have all we need to know about JP..except...
Who does he choose next week? why are both the girls crying?

With the exception of Women Tell All... me encante este show!!!

Next week promises to be 'explosive'...I wonder if they will be short explosions?