This will be an incomplete Rose Report as I was sidelined by some work that I had to tackle and said a Hail Mary had to scramble to get home as soon as I could so I could roll out a Rose Report. Okay so that sentence was all the football terms I could get into a sentence in honour of the upcoming Super Bowl.
Do I care about the Super Bowl..not really....this show is my kind of entertainment.
So it looks like I missed the first individual date...and caught the show in the middle of the most insensitive date in Bachelor history. So even if Brad didn't know..waht was up with the producers having a NASCAR date in the first place? Apparently the Bachelor is borrowing a page from the Biggest Loser playbook and now breakthroughs that happen on the show are necessary (and not just the breakthroughs that happen over 3 years of therapy). So this was Emily's intervention to help her move on. Brad astutely noticed mid date that Emily was having a forced smile. Gosh all that time in therapy was helpful! So Brad pulls her aside (once) to check in..and Brad does little but to listen. It would have been cool if Brad at least showed exasperation with the producers ...but he did nothing. Then I was confused again when it was mentioned that the fiance crashed on a race track..i thought he crashed in an airplane. Regardless. Emily has to reassure Brad that all is okay.
Emily rips around the track..and interestingly she does two laps for Ricky and one for her..and no lap for Brad.Nicely done Emily!!:)
Shock of all shocks....there is an afterparty!! With a pool!!!! And there is crying!!! Emily gets more time with Brad!! And girls are jealous! Didn't I see this for the last 4 weeks? Is there a writers'strike at the Bachelor?
Oh...and Emily got the rose. There is a writers' strike at the Bachelor.Very little orginal material Oh! Chantal O used the L word on the date..nope..not Limo...Love...yikes!!! That was a little premature...
Are you ridiculous tonight?
That was one of the most ill conceived non sensical dates. Okay...we've established there are no new ideas on this show.....remember Ali and Roberto in the Lion King on Broadway?
But this date has the double Ashely's who look alike and they have a duel date till the death (remember one stays one goes). So then get to the date..they are all dressed up...to put on casual clothes to 'rehearse' and then Brad is told he has to pick one for the leading lady...then the women put their dress clothes back on..to have a meal before a doing a performance where they will be hoisted on cables...50 feet above the crowd..oh and the trio will be dining together where he will award to rose. Now if that doesn't whet your appetite...not sure what would. He chooses the dancing dentist..who then can't hid her smirk then kisses the rose and points it to the spurned Ashley's direction. Weird. It got weirder..nope..not that Brad and
Ashley had a to share a dressing room (nice gold stars), but Brad looked creepy with his make up on...and what about the juxtaposition of sad Ashley S driving around Vegas in the limo against the scenes of the other Ashley living her dancing dreams to the tune of Are you Lonesome tonight. Gotta say..the most confused look of the night was when the creepy suitcase guy had to pick up a suitcase...he was like "hey..they both say Ashley on the...am I being punk'd?"
Hey..we can't go for the two hours without talking to a therapist. Brad rings Dr. Jamie to ask what he should do with all the crying girls. Well...as apparently Dr Jamie says)..you can't be responsible for anyone else's emotions...Dr. Jamie also reminded Brad he is on a mission...and he must not deviate. Love is a battlefield. And it will be littered with rose petals.
The cocktail party.
Well...Brad gives Alli some special attention..in the form of chocolate and wine. Marissa gives Brad some notes to read (seems a bit like a last ditch effort) and Michelle just is a nut job and tells him to get rid of some girls (it is indeed a battle field..and Michelle is out in the trenches and advises Brad what strategic direciton to take). But I think Brad likes it he loves he wants some more of it..he tries so hard..he can't rise above it...and who does he give the first rose to???Michelle! Don't get it. Marissa nd Lisa are turned loose. I'm surprised that Marissa cried...hmmm wonder if that will affect her street cred as a sports person..and Lisa??? Did she ever speak during the show?
Well given the writer's strike..we'll have to rely on the lovely exotic backdrops..of Costa Rica..and South Africa. And did you hear.that suddenly this show's description goes from most shocking to the most controversial show ever...
Wha?????????????
Until next week...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Brad brings his A game-Awkward and Aqua
Brad is exhibiting some Pavelka-onian symptoms of awkwardness that were peppered throughout his dates. That along with the appearance of two therapists (Dr. Drew and Jamie) added little to his character and just made him seem more feeble than evolved.
And what is with the water themed dates? Are wet suits and heated pools the only way to keep warm on set. I just get chilly watching these dates. If the girls aren't in their hoodies, then when they get our of their aqueous settings they have to throw on a throw just to keep warm. Someone turn on the heat!!!
So let's dip into the dates
How deep is your love?
More like, how dumb are your date ideas? As usual, the girls get super excited by an arrival of a helicopter!!!! They all gather to watch Chantal O and Brad chopper off in the sky and off to the ocean floor walking.I know some people love scuba diving and all things aquaculture but my idea of a romantic date isn't about throwing on a water helmet and walking through murky water. Chantal O was a good sport...but if it were me, that's a waste of some solid hair flattening. Just like in the helicopter ride, the pair could communicate both in the air and underwater. Cool? Back on land, the don't stray too far from the water b/c there is a couch and two tents pitched along the shore. if there wasn't enough water, it starts to rain..but who cares...Brad gives her a rose!! They get to use one of the tents where Chantal exclaims..it's cold over here...maybe it was a way to get some bachelor warmth..but I thinkk it was half true.and she really was cold.
Back at the compound...Michelle is discussing her black eye. How do you give yourself a black eye? Did she punch herself? Weird.
Group date-Love Line with Dr. Drew and Mike
I've heard of Dr. Drew..but who is Mike? Who cares..Brad is in heaven..he gets to talk to some more therapists. I'm down with therapy..but Brad seems like he is using all his therapy to just keep talking about himself...and how much he's worked on himself..yeah..we all know...3 years, you didn't know what you were doing before, you worked a lot on yourself. Yawwwwn...Anyhow..Brad's group date (which he thinks is the best idea ever) is to get the girls to open up..in front of a lot of other women, live on a radio talk show. That sounds realistic. What did we learn about this? More about Brad...he wants to be accepted for who he is. that's original. After all that..well it's time to jump into a hot tub. Ashley the dentist is starting to melt down. Britt the shy girl, demonstratively and throughly kisses Brad..and the rose goes to Britt!
Michelle-repelling I mean rappelling
Michelle...has done quite an about face. The first episode..she was stunning...and to this episode...she's bitter and bruised. Her and Brad rapelled down a building..it looked nerve wracking...but she really seemed to milk it to build some type of special bond with Brad. Notice how she had to keep correcting him to say that it was our experience. And surprise...after a hard day of scaling a building..comes lunch..and..a dip in the pool. I'm not sure what he sees in her....or maybe he's scared that now that she knows where his Bachelor house is that she might whack him in the night..but he presented her with a rose..and that was followed by way too much of a close up of their protracted kissing scene...ewwwww.
The cocktail party...more water works
Wow...lotsa tears. For some reason I feel for Chantal O. She seems to really like Brad. Brad pulled a Bachelor first..and gave a gift to one of the women in front of all the other women. Does that mean Emily is out front??? Was it the cocktail party of ugly earrings..it seemed like everyone was wearing ugly, mismatched or way too big earrings. And I don't see the chemistry between him and Alli..hmm who knows..I'm sure he sees some right reasons there. Three girls go home...the oddest part was Meghan's exit...what was up with her walking...heels too high? Bottom of the dress too tight and it restricted her movement..it looked like she was firewalking.
Well this episode was a bit of a yawn...looks like next week will be better..except for the race car idea with Emily...that was super dumb and incredibly insensitive...
But despite that...I still LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!
And what is with the water themed dates? Are wet suits and heated pools the only way to keep warm on set. I just get chilly watching these dates. If the girls aren't in their hoodies, then when they get our of their aqueous settings they have to throw on a throw just to keep warm. Someone turn on the heat!!!
So let's dip into the dates
How deep is your love?
More like, how dumb are your date ideas? As usual, the girls get super excited by an arrival of a helicopter!!!! They all gather to watch Chantal O and Brad chopper off in the sky and off to the ocean floor walking.I know some people love scuba diving and all things aquaculture but my idea of a romantic date isn't about throwing on a water helmet and walking through murky water. Chantal O was a good sport...but if it were me, that's a waste of some solid hair flattening. Just like in the helicopter ride, the pair could communicate both in the air and underwater. Cool? Back on land, the don't stray too far from the water b/c there is a couch and two tents pitched along the shore. if there wasn't enough water, it starts to rain..but who cares...Brad gives her a rose!! They get to use one of the tents where Chantal exclaims..it's cold over here...maybe it was a way to get some bachelor warmth..but I thinkk it was half true.and she really was cold.
Back at the compound...Michelle is discussing her black eye. How do you give yourself a black eye? Did she punch herself? Weird.
Group date-Love Line with Dr. Drew and Mike
I've heard of Dr. Drew..but who is Mike? Who cares..Brad is in heaven..he gets to talk to some more therapists. I'm down with therapy..but Brad seems like he is using all his therapy to just keep talking about himself...and how much he's worked on himself..yeah..we all know...3 years, you didn't know what you were doing before, you worked a lot on yourself. Yawwwwn...Anyhow..Brad's group date (which he thinks is the best idea ever) is to get the girls to open up..in front of a lot of other women, live on a radio talk show. That sounds realistic. What did we learn about this? More about Brad...he wants to be accepted for who he is. that's original. After all that..well it's time to jump into a hot tub. Ashley the dentist is starting to melt down. Britt the shy girl, demonstratively and throughly kisses Brad..and the rose goes to Britt!
Michelle-repelling I mean rappelling
Michelle...has done quite an about face. The first episode..she was stunning...and to this episode...she's bitter and bruised. Her and Brad rapelled down a building..it looked nerve wracking...but she really seemed to milk it to build some type of special bond with Brad. Notice how she had to keep correcting him to say that it was our experience. And surprise...after a hard day of scaling a building..comes lunch..and..a dip in the pool. I'm not sure what he sees in her....or maybe he's scared that now that she knows where his Bachelor house is that she might whack him in the night..but he presented her with a rose..and that was followed by way too much of a close up of their protracted kissing scene...ewwwww.
The cocktail party...more water works
Wow...lotsa tears. For some reason I feel for Chantal O. She seems to really like Brad. Brad pulled a Bachelor first..and gave a gift to one of the women in front of all the other women. Does that mean Emily is out front??? Was it the cocktail party of ugly earrings..it seemed like everyone was wearing ugly, mismatched or way too big earrings. And I don't see the chemistry between him and Alli..hmm who knows..I'm sure he sees some right reasons there. Three girls go home...the oddest part was Meghan's exit...what was up with her walking...heels too high? Bottom of the dress too tight and it restricted her movement..it looked like she was firewalking.
Well this episode was a bit of a yawn...looks like next week will be better..except for the race car idea with Emily...that was super dumb and incredibly insensitive...
But despite that...I still LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Deja view(ed)
Well not only is Brad back on the show again, but the dates were very 'in the date box' type of thinking and Ali and Roberto make a comeback too. We've seen these dates before...the amusement park, the studio date (where the acting 'may' be used for future promotional material) and finally the princess scenario. A bit of a yawn...but to be fair, this is regular Bachelor fare and as Starbucks says (as opposed to the Coffee Bean-whatever that coffee shop is) Enjoy the Ritual.
Amusement park
Well Ashley's outfit kinda looked like Carrie Bradshaw met Tinkerbell. I can imagine how thrilled she was to learn that she would have to hike down a dirt road to a creepy carnival in her shiny outfit and glittery shoes. That amusement park looked like a scene of a low budget thriller. Eerily enough Ashely and Brad share similar addiction/absentee father stories. Brad presents her with a rose and she accepts.
The Bloodletting begins
Here we see another group date where the scenes 'may be used for promotional material' this time for the American Red Cross. Right..do you think that the Red Cross would used the tawdry scenes in a national campaign. Melissa's cougar outfit was great -nice animal print. Her earrings started to approach the size of Michelle's. Are Michelle's jewellery choices for the visually impaired? Oh.it was her 30th birthday..and it was a very angry birthday. She was sour the whole day..maybe her jewellery was too heavy. What was with Britt's about face to suck face with Brad. Too much Britt. Oh..after any Bachelor movie/commercial dates there is always the after party that is always BYOB (bring your own bikini). Melissa and Rachel start in on eachother at teh party. Melissa gets a rose for her birthday and does a weird happy dance in the pool.
The Princess date
Yup..seen this before too..the spa/fancy dress/romantic dinner/ seranade date. Brad wants to give Jackie a Pretty Woman experience..wasn't Julia Roberts a lady of the evening in that movie? Brad and Jackie don robes, rub some mud on eachother. Next off to the dress/shoe room. Not a shortage of glittery dresses. Jackie looks super pretty..and wait..insert jewellery product placement by Neil Lane. .i wonder if they ar the ring sponsoer for the Bachelor. Then off to the abandoned stadiume where Jackie reveals her lean dating resume. Brad is scared but still presents her with a rose. Then Train performs (maybe that's why the date card said.get your love on track). Train crooned Marry Me... hmm a bit premature.but if Brad picks her at the end..you bet there will be a video montage this song.
The Cocktail Party
Ali and Roberto are back to help with decisions. They both look lovely and Roberto didn't break a sweat. I'm not sure what type of psychological profiling questions they had for the girls..but apparently they helped out...I think the most sage advice either could offer would be: from Ali..'when making a difficult decision, sit down in the middle of the hallway' and from Roberto...'just dance it out brother..salsa will bring you together and release tension from the hips'. Back at he party Melissand and RAchel both cry and hug it out with Brad.but he doesn't pick either of them them. Emma gets Ali and Roberto's vote for 'here for the right reasons'. Marissa stays (yay!!). The Rockette Keltie got the boot. She went on camera to say this was her last kick at the dating can...then she says she's gonna stick to kickin'.
Well rose reporters..keep on kickin'...there will be no rose report next week as I will be away..but rest assured I will be watching it from the centre of the universe.
Until 2 weeks from tonight...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amusement park
Well Ashley's outfit kinda looked like Carrie Bradshaw met Tinkerbell. I can imagine how thrilled she was to learn that she would have to hike down a dirt road to a creepy carnival in her shiny outfit and glittery shoes. That amusement park looked like a scene of a low budget thriller. Eerily enough Ashely and Brad share similar addiction/absentee father stories. Brad presents her with a rose and she accepts.
The Bloodletting begins
Here we see another group date where the scenes 'may be used for promotional material' this time for the American Red Cross. Right..do you think that the Red Cross would used the tawdry scenes in a national campaign. Melissa's cougar outfit was great -nice animal print. Her earrings started to approach the size of Michelle's. Are Michelle's jewellery choices for the visually impaired? Oh.it was her 30th birthday..and it was a very angry birthday. She was sour the whole day..maybe her jewellery was too heavy. What was with Britt's about face to suck face with Brad. Too much Britt. Oh..after any Bachelor movie/commercial dates there is always the after party that is always BYOB (bring your own bikini). Melissa and Rachel start in on eachother at teh party. Melissa gets a rose for her birthday and does a weird happy dance in the pool.
The Princess date
Yup..seen this before too..the spa/fancy dress/romantic dinner/ seranade date. Brad wants to give Jackie a Pretty Woman experience..wasn't Julia Roberts a lady of the evening in that movie? Brad and Jackie don robes, rub some mud on eachother. Next off to the dress/shoe room. Not a shortage of glittery dresses. Jackie looks super pretty..and wait..insert jewellery product placement by Neil Lane. .i wonder if they ar the ring sponsoer for the Bachelor. Then off to the abandoned stadiume where Jackie reveals her lean dating resume. Brad is scared but still presents her with a rose. Then Train performs (maybe that's why the date card said.get your love on track). Train crooned Marry Me... hmm a bit premature.but if Brad picks her at the end..you bet there will be a video montage this song.
The Cocktail Party
Ali and Roberto are back to help with decisions. They both look lovely and Roberto didn't break a sweat. I'm not sure what type of psychological profiling questions they had for the girls..but apparently they helped out...I think the most sage advice either could offer would be: from Ali..'when making a difficult decision, sit down in the middle of the hallway' and from Roberto...'just dance it out brother..salsa will bring you together and release tension from the hips'. Back at he party Melissand and RAchel both cry and hug it out with Brad.but he doesn't pick either of them them. Emma gets Ali and Roberto's vote for 'here for the right reasons'. Marissa stays (yay!!). The Rockette Keltie got the boot. She went on camera to say this was her last kick at the dating can...then she says she's gonna stick to kickin'.
Well rose reporters..keep on kickin'...there will be no rose report next week as I will be away..but rest assured I will be watching it from the centre of the universe.
Until 2 weeks from tonight...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Everybody...Womack's back ....alright!!
Please sing along the next few paragraphs to the tune of
Everybody (Backstreet's Back)...by the Back Street Boys
Oh my God we're back again (watching the Bachelor)
Brothers sisters everybody sing (yes I love watching it with Dave Mary..and Nat)
Gonna bring you flavor and show you how
Gotta question for you (will he pick one)
better answer now (Brad..you better pick someone this season)
Is he original (Noooooooooo)
Is he the only one (Yeahh...he's my favourite bachelor)
Is he sexual (well apparently for the previews of the upcoming episodes)
Is he everything you need (from all that therapy he is still needing some help with self esteem)
You better rock your body now (we know that Keltie will Rockette it out for sure)
....................
sigh...i love the BSB...
But back to my true Bachelor love. Brad.
Fellow rose report followers know that I love Brad and I think he made his decision for all the right reasons not picking someone. Well he was nauseatingly contrite about the last experience...but why pick someone if you're not ready.
His therapist may have helped him work out his issues of commitment, but Brad still should have logged in some time and worked on his feelings of self worth. I ain't no Carl Jung or Freud, but anyone who's seen a handful of Oprah episodes could tell you that.
What Brad has worked out is his fine form. Happily the producers still think the topless workout scenes are important. Did Brad have that tatoo on his back from last season...alas..maybe he feels he has a large cross to bear.
The shows start was sloooooowww. It could have been done in 10 minutes..Brad had commitment issues due to some childhood abandonment. That was sad..but wow..I guess when you sign up for this show again...you have to reveal so much. Completely unnecessary to have Deanna and Jenny back. Deanna's engagement ring has some sparkly competition..not from Jenny's...but from Deanna's own body glitter. Both girls look great..and Deanna made sure to tell Brad that she's found happiness now (b/c I guess before she was engaged she was unhappy?), but she looked sour for most of the interview...maybe she was supposed to be Jenny's character foil..or Brad's?
But back to what we really came for...who will Brad choose from.
Wow..30 women! Lots of unflattering dresses..and the craziest shoes from any season....the platform hot pink, the Oz-esque ruby red slippers..and my least favourite show..the slip on high heeled mule.
Can't go through all the ladies...
but I wonder...
-was the smack by Chantal O necessary? And why would Brad say he deserved it..yikes...i'm still convinced he's not done with Dr. Thomas Parker...and why would the Bachelor think it's okay that hitting is okay. Not cool.
-what's up with the Madison the vampire? Is the Bachelor trying to cash in on the vampire craze. Seems kinda fake.
-Will Keltie (the rockette) and Ashley (the dancing dentist) have a dance off?
-Will Raichel continue to manscape Brad? Is that literal peeling off Brad's layers? Stripping off his defences?
-Michelle looked great in her crazy tribal dress with her earrings past her armpits
It's gonna be a great show!! I'm looking forward to Brad's long jogs down the beach...
Best quote of the night:
"Its better to be home alone than to be at home wishing you were alone"
Amen sista.
Until next week..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody (Backstreet's Back)...by the Back Street Boys
Oh my God we're back again (watching the Bachelor)
Brothers sisters everybody sing (yes I love watching it with Dave Mary..and Nat)
Gonna bring you flavor and show you how
Gotta question for you (will he pick one)
better answer now (Brad..you better pick someone this season)
Is he original (Noooooooooo)
Is he the only one (Yeahh...he's my favourite bachelor)
Is he sexual (well apparently for the previews of the upcoming episodes)
Is he everything you need (from all that therapy he is still needing some help with self esteem)
You better rock your body now (we know that Keltie will Rockette it out for sure)
....................
sigh...i love the BSB...
But back to my true Bachelor love. Brad.
Fellow rose report followers know that I love Brad and I think he made his decision for all the right reasons not picking someone. Well he was nauseatingly contrite about the last experience...but why pick someone if you're not ready.
His therapist may have helped him work out his issues of commitment, but Brad still should have logged in some time and worked on his feelings of self worth. I ain't no Carl Jung or Freud, but anyone who's seen a handful of Oprah episodes could tell you that.
What Brad has worked out is his fine form. Happily the producers still think the topless workout scenes are important. Did Brad have that tatoo on his back from last season...alas..maybe he feels he has a large cross to bear.
The shows start was sloooooowww. It could have been done in 10 minutes..Brad had commitment issues due to some childhood abandonment. That was sad..but wow..I guess when you sign up for this show again...you have to reveal so much. Completely unnecessary to have Deanna and Jenny back. Deanna's engagement ring has some sparkly competition..not from Jenny's...but from Deanna's own body glitter. Both girls look great..and Deanna made sure to tell Brad that she's found happiness now (b/c I guess before she was engaged she was unhappy?), but she looked sour for most of the interview...maybe she was supposed to be Jenny's character foil..or Brad's?
But back to what we really came for...who will Brad choose from.
Wow..30 women! Lots of unflattering dresses..and the craziest shoes from any season....the platform hot pink, the Oz-esque ruby red slippers..and my least favourite show..the slip on high heeled mule.
Can't go through all the ladies...
but I wonder...
-was the smack by Chantal O necessary? And why would Brad say he deserved it..yikes...i'm still convinced he's not done with Dr. Thomas Parker...and why would the Bachelor think it's okay that hitting is okay. Not cool.
-what's up with the Madison the vampire? Is the Bachelor trying to cash in on the vampire craze. Seems kinda fake.
-Will Keltie (the rockette) and Ashley (the dancing dentist) have a dance off?
-Will Raichel continue to manscape Brad? Is that literal peeling off Brad's layers? Stripping off his defences?
-Michelle looked great in her crazy tribal dress with her earrings past her armpits
It's gonna be a great show!! I'm looking forward to Brad's long jogs down the beach...
Best quote of the night:
"Its better to be home alone than to be at home wishing you were alone"
Amen sista.
Until next week..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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