The Rose Report: Quelle Surprise(s)

God I love this show!!

Since Jillian is local...the word over email (Thanks DD and KG) is that Jillian is as fresh, fabulous, friendly and fantastic in real life AND in reality (show) life!! I know people who know people who know Jillian !!!:):) What exciting news....but nothing is more exciting..than another new episode...and it was chock (2 hours) full of surprises!!

Jillian is the best bachelorette...she expresses vulnerability without acting like a victim...makes a few bad decisions about guys on the show...but come on..that is what makes dating fun and ridiculous...ridiculously entertaining...

Group Date #1: The (Un)Amazing Race
So just when you think it's going to be another group pool date with gratuitious sun screen application and bare chested, well-chiseled men frolicking poolside...SURPRISE!!! It's not! Jillian mysteriously takes off..and the men must race across LA to find her..but not without some gratuitious sunscreen application and some well chiseled men frolicking poolside first:) The Race to find Jillian was a little dull..or maybe if was the guys that weren't the sharpest thorns on the rose...but that race was one big yawn. I was most amused that the men drove around shirtless and without shoes. (ewwww) Foot fetish guy (Tanner P) and Homeslice (breakdancer Michael)..seemed the most clueless of the bunch...and seemed to bring out eachother's ADHD. I was a bit heartbroken when Jill chose Wes instead of Brad for the one on one dinner...in the vault..aptly named..the Crocker Club...whatever Wes said rung of a crock of $%^@. I'm sure the vault was a little low on oxygen (too many candles burning in there)...b/c she chose to give Wes a rose. (Did anyone notice how small of sips Wes takes from his cocktails. Is he feigning drinking or just trying to control his liquid calorie intake??)Ed (my noted favourite in my first Rose Report) said that Wes and Jill have a 'fabricated connection' You're so right Ed!!! I heart Ed...I hope he makes it to the finals!!!
What I thought was kinda gross about this date was that all the guys were running around barefoot and barechested (except for Ed and Brad...smart guys:) then they had to put on tuxes after being all sweaty. double ewww...

Instant Death date...Do Jill and Jake make their connection??
So Jill dons the wings that Jake gave her and the date takes flight..;)
Many bachelorette faithful have told me that Jake is a front runner....He wasn't really that exceptional to me in the first episode...but now I'm picking up what they were puttin' down. So Jill gets him gussied for his country date...and Good Lord in the morning..Jake could wear anything and look fantastic. I do think that Jill picked that white embroidered shirt to emasculate him...but he still pulled it off. Then they're off to a club (conveniently emptied by Bachelorette producers)...and Jillian fulfills her dream of doing a Coyote Ugly dance atop the wood. Entirely unnecessary...but Jill is fabulous..so let the girl live her dreams..especially when she casually drops that she goes to Calgary Stampede every year. Nicely done Jill....way to represent!!!! Now does Jake seems sweet..but he borders on syrupy. The story about the 'handmade envelope'...first..who handmakes their envelopes??....I think he meant homemade card. Anyway..then the story about the card, packed bags and eating waffles in Belgium...a bit overwrought....he laid it on a big thick. And the suprise!! he kissed Jillian....but wait Jill has a suprise for him...a concert performance by Martina McBRIDE (foreshadowing maybe???????????????????????????????????????????) And Martina's last song she performed had the most overused word in Bachelor/Bachelorette history..AMAZING. This date was really too much. Oh..and no surprise..Jake gets a rose. Even if Jillian doesn't end up with Jake...the guy can two step....maybe he can fly down to the Stampede this year.


Group Date #2: East meets West
Jill plans a sporty group date . ( I loved here plaid sneakers..Jill is soo cute!!) So the boys are out to shoot hoops...then Jill takes off to bring some friends...She happens to know some b-ballers who happen be the Harlem Globe Trotters. Of course we know who won...and speaking of won..Juan rescued Jill from hanging from the hoop. Juan...he seems entirely insincere. Some may think smooth...I think slimey. Oh well..off to the beach!! Mike happens to shore up a pair of speedos,tears across the beach..and dives into the ocean all to get Jill's attention. It worked.
So re-hydrate..Jill serves up the perfect recovery drink post workout...Shots!! (atta girl Jillian!) Juan dumps his drink that then drops more lines to Jillian...something about the sun hanging low and here eyes being piercingly green eyes. Now on this date..it becomes evident that David (cute trucking contractor) needs anger management. Yikes!!He's got issues. So very angry is he.
Kiptyn gets some one on one time with Jill. Now he's no Captain Conversation..but who cares..b/c Jill just wants to make out with him... Love her honesty. Jill, you're going to have to talk to him eventually. Oh well. She'll see.

Cocktail party...
Wes' words of Wisdom...it's not time to pump the brakes..it's time to give gas. So despite sporting a rose..he stated he was going to pursue some one on one time with Jill.
Tanner P continued to toe the line about his foot fetish. Doesn't her realize that he sounds crazy??
Robby (??) the bartender..didn't see much of him this show..but he stirred up a Rosmo for him an Jill...only to experience Rosmos Interruptus by Wes. This is where i again noted that he takes the tiniest sips from his drink. Maybe he thinks it makes him look cool.
In a desperate attempt to prove his spontaneity and to grab Jill's attention Brian the IT consultant stripped ..umm well ....completely and jumped into the pool. Well, Brian wasn't IT with that move. He said he liked to be the centre of attention.Hmmm not all attention isn't good attention.

Breaking surprise...The Bachelorette employs a tribal council. The bachelors have to vote out their least favourite guy. And Juan has the dubious honour of most votes..but Jill gives him the rose immunity idol..and he's saved. This only serves to stoke David's anger about Juan.

So I really liked Jill's choices..well almost all of her choices....I"m so glad she kept Reid..he seems very sweet and understated, and Brad looked quite fetching in his burberry inspired tie (yay...she kept the smart guy:) David is going to be a gong show...I think there is going to be some smack between David and Juan. I think Juan should sleep with one eye open. David seems like a loose cannon.

She did let go of Julien..but come one..Julien and Jillian...sounds wrong. Simon seemed like he wasn't really into it. The producers did stop the subtitles....maybe they got lost in translation..Glad naked Brian got the boot..and finally..she let Mathue loose. Poor guy started to cry :( Hopefully he'll be ok.


Until next week.... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rose Report- Purple Reign

It's baaacck!!! My most favourite show ever!!!
And appropriately on this most regal holiday..Queen Victoria Day.

It's all back..the roses, the limos, the flickering candles..and the white wine. Jillian-originally hailing from Peace River AB, now in Vancouver BC is looking for her Prince.

To begin there was a montage of the many faces of Jillian-using some cliched pop culture references to help us understand our new Bachelorette- the "Sex and the City " Jillian with her love of shoes, the Jessica Simpson-esque shot of Jillian washing her car in high heels and short shorts and finally a replication of a moment of the orginal Bachelorette-Mary Tyler Moore- with Jillian throwing her beret up in the air as if to say she's made if after all. ( I think the latter was a nod to the feminist bachelorette viewers...this show really can appeal to everyone:)

Well Jillian did make it from Canada to Cali....and looks like Jill's bombing around LA in a purple convertible, her perfectly coiffed hair blowing in the wind. Jillian looks fabulous, fit and fantastic for her..you guessed it..'amazing journey to fine true love'.

Back at the Bachelorette Ranch, Jillian gets to meet the 25 men who will vy for her heart...and those elusive roses. As a seasoned Bachelor/Bachelorette viewer- I think the pickings are slim (but muscular) this round:)

It's Bonus Time at the Bachelorette. In a twist, Chris announces late in the cocktail party that there are five extra to choose from. So this means that after this show, the # of bachelors left is 20 vs. the usual 15.

Purple did seem to be the colour of shirt/tie choice among the Bachelors. Maybe it's a trendy colour this year in menswear or maybe some guys found it was Jillian's favourite colour.

Here's a sampling of Jillian's subjects:
Juan...seems kinda smarmy and works with his mommy. Broke out some Spanish (his lineage is Argentinian) to impress Jillian upon their first meeting. Dude, she's from Canada, perhaps try something en francais.

Simon..the soccer guy from England...I wonder why the show put subtitles on when he's speaking..note to Bachelorette producers....it's the same language...and the British invented it.

Wes...(a budding Bachelor Idol)..comes with a guitar by the pool and a song in his heart for Jillian. Something tells me he's looking for a record deal.

Tanner P aka foot fetish guys...I can't say I've ever felt more creeped out than by Tanner P, As if his shiny, embossed sports jacket wasn't enough. His ramblings about what makes a perfect foot and how feet are so important made him sound very unbalanced. Did they phase out psychological testing for Bachelorette participant hopefuls???

Michael: the breakdance instructor...well he sure can move it, move it. His wardrobe likely has a lotta lycra in it given all the moves he has to bust all day long, but did he borrow his clothing for the show? It looked like he was wearing a woman's button down (purple) shirt and the jacket seemed a bit small for him.

Mathew (spelled Mathue)...his cowboy hat was mint. When he took it off upon approaching Jillian for the first time, I thought he did so to either to :
a) show some type of homage to the Bachelorette
OR
b) present it to Jillian because she's a country music fan.

The correct answer is

c) none of the above. He did so to show her the wicked cool autographs on it and then he pulls out a Sharpie and asks her to sign it.


My two leading favourites are Ed, the IT consultant. He seems fairly laid back, confident and well spoken and Dave the trucking contractor. Hmm..what exactly is a trucking contractor. They both seem endearing...but there are many, many episodes yet to come:O) Things are not always as they appear.


My alltime Bachelorette premiere moment was at the very end, by lawyer Stephen. Stephen seemed very proud of his recent graduation from law school and did appear quite confident. Well, his mood soured and his temperament turned quite dour when he turned up rose-less.
Fresh out of law school you'd think he'd have chosen more eloquent closing statements on exiting the Bachelorette compound. All he could come up with was.."Maybe it's a country city thing, maybe she likes country guys and I'm a city guy ..maybe she's into jumping into hay bales..is that what they do in the country..i don't know what they do in the country". I'm no lawyer, but if you don't have evidence to support your argument, then I think it's best to say nothing.
The best quote of the night goes to Stephen; "Maybe she doesn't like awesome guys".

Good to know he left with his ego intact.

The previews for the next shows look so juicy. It's gonna be a great season.
Until next time...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!