Half the Bachelorette-All the fun

Keeping things old skool can be tough. I thought the Bachelor started at 10...so I was happily..okay somewhat painfully ...making through a hard-core (focus on core) yoga class..thinking, I'd easily make the 10 pm start time. Lo and behold I turn on the TV and I see Tony gripping a brick wall crying..My heart stopped. Not because Tony was crying..but I missed half the show!!...Ahhh!!!! Back to Tony gripping the wall. Emily goes to console him..but it seemed like the corners of her mouth were upturned very slightly-like she was trying to suppress a smile. Under the guise of releasing him to be with his son, Emily bid Tony a rivederci,told him he's be a great husband(but not for her) and slunk back to the worthier men in her sequined Aztec themed short skirt.I wonder if the Aztecs every bedazzled their outwear? She goes off to award the rose to Sean..pretty cute for a blonde guy. Although I much prefer brunettes-there are an assortment of brown haired ding dongs in the gaggle of men. Well that was a fun group date..whatever that was:) One on one date.. I'm not sure why every time I see Arie' name on the screen, I think of the underwear store arm of American Eagle..but that's aerie I think. Well darn it..Emily is sweet on Arie. So much so that she took him to the playground of her youth..nope no the greenbrier hotel..but Dollywood. Emily's is keepin it real and keepin' it country. It's Emily's Disneyland. They go on a rollercoaster..Arie doesn't seem overly reassuring..but Emily makes it through... Then they're off to the theatre..where the the tentative couple are going to write a love song..not for a love clock, but just 'cause. Emily appears fond of journalling feelings. Apparently it leads to clarity..I wonder what Brad Womack's therapist would say about it. But guess who shows up??? Dolly!! Now if that doesn't put pepper in the gumbo..and she looked prettier than a glob of butter in a stack of pancakes!! Emily was shocked...and thrilled. I gotta say..I love Dolly too. There seems something very genuine about her..and very sweet. But what was with the skin-like sparkly gloves she was wearin? She played a tune for Arie and Emily, had some girl talk with Emily, then sang a song that she wrote for her husband. Holy smokes...45 years married..and in showbusiness. Gotta give it up to Dolly! Now Arie and Emily after all that dancin' and romancin' they have a bite to eat ..but I didnt see them eat. Arie opens up how he dated/lived with a woman with two kids and how close he was to them. Awwww.. Arie. Emily goes to award the rose..and tries to fake him by inserting "but"...Arie's face drops.he looks like he's about to cry...but Emily gives it to them. And what better to do after eating, then ride a carousel..where the smooched. Arie looks like he has good technique. Way better than Brad. But isn't it a bit odd that she says he reminds her of her deceased husband. That image and legacy would be hard to live up to I'd think. Cocktail party. Wow..this was quite a cocktail party. Kalon...he tells her she is a lady of class. His poor diction makes me nuts. Everything about Kalon-even his shiny lips. But what passes them is what makes me more annoyed. The fact he told her "I like when you talk but let me finish"..this is the problem..he never finishes. He talks and talks. So freaking annoying. Now..what was with the egg?Shelly ...it was a real egg? what whas the significance. Travis wanted to break out of his shell? He's fragile? He's fertile? I dunno. They busted the egg and created a slippery surface. Speaking of slippery surface..Alessandro..make a solid slide down. He says that being married would be a compromise. He says he's like a gypsy king. Well, she took no time to kick his Bamboleo out the door. Hola crap! What a loser. Adios Alessandro. Alessandro the grain merchant is of to sow more oats. Sean reassured Emily he'd be a good dad. I heart Sean. Arie gave Emily another reassuring kiss..which Ryan saw. And that...just dilled his pickle. I'm not sure who is more annoyingRyan or Kalon. Kalon seems dim, as does Ryan..but Ryan seems to have more of a bully in him than Kalon. Well..they both get roses..and the only one sent packing is the party MC. Huh? she didn't pick the party MC as father of the year. Maybe there are some party MCs that are wicked dads..Guess the kids would always have bumpin' beats at their major milestones. Well..it promises to be a season chock full of drama..as they're off to Bermuda. I'm away next week..so no Rose Report...

Happy Victoria Day

Hi y'all...and Happy Victoria Day On this regal holiday...episode 2 of the Bachelorette. Conversation was lacking and so was personality in some of the bachelors. Well the dating pool seems to be a bit low. Hopefully I'll hit some of the highlights. Date #1..Ryan..the pro sports trainer Ryan tends to have sharp lines..his hair, chiseled features (likely matched by chest)..but that's where the sharpness ends. He is flat and cliche. His Christian references also fell flat. When he found out he got the rose..he quoted his pastor who said if you treat a woman like a queen, she'll treat you like a king. Hmm..you'd think there would be something Christ-like vs. Monarchy like. But back to the date. Sporty Emily picks him up..to take him to her house. Before Ryan can say What the H - E - double hockey sticks...Emily says he has to haul groceries to her house. Very nice environmental mesh bags her groceries were in. She wanted to show him how unglamourous life could be. She was tryin' to keep the real in reality show. Next step cookie baking because it was Emily's turn to bring snacksto Ricky's soccer game. Ryan evn donned apron (quickly after he said..let's finish these cookies so I can feel like a man again). Through the TV..I could feel no chemistry between them. There was no conversation besides either of them stating what was going on in front of them. Then Emily is off to be snack mom. Whoa..was Ricky's team running a marathon or playing rec soccer. Juice, cookies and oranges. I'm not hatin' on the carbs..but that's a bit much for snack time. Water and orange sections would have sufficed. But enought of my dietary editorializing. phew..after mom duty..Emily needs areal date. She got outta her mom clothes and put a dress on...She picked him up..but let him drive the car.Off to Ousso they go.....but not before a throng of adoring fans waited for the car to arrive outside he restaurant. They ate, talked little. He didnt answer her question about whether he saw this as a competition. He did say he would compete by putting his best foot forward, then he asked her question. She also made some weird comment about her wanting the man to be in charge, but she'd be in charge...she awarded the rose..then one more surprise!! An open air show with a stage for them to dance one. Ryan's not the worst dancer...but I find him annoying and lacking substance. Group date- Muppets and a nod to the King's Speech It's group date performance time! Performance is a strong word for what happened. Kudos to the guys for raising money for the children's hospital intensive care-but did anyone see any entertainment value (well besides Miss Piggy and Kermit who were spectacular). The Bachelor/Bacheloette enterprise seeks to inspire when it can. This time..it was Charly's story. Charly apparently fell 15 storeys and required major rehabilitation and had to relearn how to talk. This variety show and speaking in front of others was giving him anxiety. But the guy is on a show that has millions of viewers..what's a couple hundred of people in Charlotte. But..he explained this to the very understanding Emily..and he was reassigned another role in the show. So this wasn't Broadway- but there was no entertainment value in the show at all...the'dance' routine..Emily didn't dance but just shook a little in her shiny dress. The comedy wasn't funny (and also used weight biased humor..which is a personal pet peeve)..and the interviews by Miss Piggy..weren't that interesting Charly spoke!! and did well!! Congrats Charly. King George would have been proud. After every group date variety show there's a wrap up party. This confused me. There was a rose to be awarded..and she gave it to Jef. (it's hard to miss the second f..so I'll use it to say wtF was she thinking by giving it to him. Ithink they have no chemistry. Unless she likes dudes who sport Justin Bieber's and Robin Thicke's new 'do. I don't get it. The other thing I don't get is Kalon's vocabulary. Actually I do get it, he likes to use polysyllabic words incorrectly and messes up his metaphors. ie "I'm eloquent in how I conduct myself" and "It's the intangible things that I can't articulate". I think his problem is that he can't articulate. But the one thing that did ring true was when Emily said to Kermit..."you gotta kiss a lotta frogs..before you meet a prince". Amen. Date #3 Come close to my heart... It's off to the Greenbrier Joe and Emily go. That fancy,opulent and at times tacky hotel of Emily's youth...where she swam, went to the spa..and had her first makeover!!! Emily and Joe took a dip in the pool.Emily tried to see if her and Joe would have some chemistry. Emily got dressed for dinner pretty as a princess...with lots of crinolin under it to make it extra flouncy...but alas the chemistry seemed to be lacking. Joe was not her prince. Props to Emily for asking Joe some tough questions at dinner. Where do you see yourself in five years. Happy he responds. Emily: what does that mean? happy with my decisions, no regrets. I started to sense he had no direction. Emily lobbeda few more ideas his way. Joe seemed blank. They wrote wishes to the Love Clock. Tick tock..Joe's time was up. He did not take it well. He seemed ticked and brash. Good choice Emily! Back at the mansion..Doug and Kalon were exchanging words..when Kalon seemed to question Doug's loyalty to his son b/c he was on the show. Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony Emily chose a regal colour- purple for this occasion. It was a bit tacky..looked like she was off to grade 12 grad..but I liked her green earrings. Kalon told her he was an oldman trapped in a young man's body. Ryan was proud that he wrote 7 whole pages or Emily!! which Tony the lumber trader heard her read them all back to Ryan. (i'm not sure why she chose to read it all aloud). Tony told her that he has a 5 year old. Arie got some one on one time with Emily. He makes Emily nervous apparently. Well..they all got roses except Kyle and Scott... I'm looking forward to more exchanges between Kalon and Scott. I can't decide if I think Chris is cute or he looks like the guy on he Mar Orthodontics commercial. I wonder if Alejandro and Alessandro will ever speak or if Emily will keep awarding them roses based on their awesome names. Doug the dad is a cutie..but he says "check it" too often..on this episode anyway. Tony ...the lumber guy..looks like he starts to crack in the upcoming episodes..and Kalon the dude with the Louis Vuitton luggage cracks meup. until next week..happy holiday Monday..happy bday Queen Victoria..and godspeed to the remaining bachelors.. ILOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess who's not getting a first impression rose

Well...I certainly would not get the first impression rose! I fell asleep waiting for the best show ever!! Why so tired? Well, I was cleaning out my closet. Literally and somewhat metaphorically- but that's a whole other blog:)It did feel good to pack up a garbagebagful. I woke up with only half hour of the show left. Nope, still no PVR so that means I had half hour of program plus commercials. Happy to see part of the show..but I love the first episode...it's like watching the first few episodes of American Idol... Emily came across as a very congenial, albeit a bit stilted and cliche. As Neil Lane flippantly said to Ben.."this ain't your first pony ride"...well, it's not Emily's first foray into reality TV..perhaps the weight of the show being on her shoulder's is different. But she did 'get advice' from Ali and Ashley a few months ago on how to be a Bachelorette...not that I"d put too much credence into the double A's advice. Emily is a lovely person and seems like a pretty person inside and out..however the dress looks like it was made for an Olympic skater. That faux beige backing that was to give the impression her dress was backless made me think she looked flammable..and not in the 'hot' way. I wish wish wish I saw all the guys and heard their stories. Stevie..the guy with the green shirt was green with envy of 'helicopter' dude. Jealousy is highly unflattering. He was chosen so he'll add to the drama. Doug..the guy with the 11 year old who wrote an open letter to Emily. The child has a future in advocacy or lobbying..and that letter was enough to win Emily's heart and to hand Daddy Doug a first impression rose. whoa...and Jef..the dude missing one f in his name..perhaps the second f was for the extra flouff in his hair. It's modern take on 60's or 80s male heartthrob hair. That guy must need serious product to make his air defy gravity like that. I'll makea note to check the humidity index in Charlotte. Speaking of hair..Michael..what was his story. Tough econonmic times..so he forgoes hair cuts? His hair lacked style and didn't make a statement except- "I need a makeover". If he's growing his hair to donate it to kids with cancer..I take all my hair comments back:) Well..I don't have much else to comment on. Chris Harrison..it was nice to see him..i hear he's going through a divorce..he looks like he's holding it together. A look at future episodes look liek the show is making a foray into Europe...London is a stop...perhaps there will be some Olympic cross promotion..you know with the rings and all. There looks like there will be a lot of drama..and men crying too!! it's going to be juicy!!! Oh..and some jerk refers to Ricky as baggage..and apparently sweet Emily drops an f bomb. The jerk probably deserves it. He knew Emily had a child before coming on this show. But speaking of real baggage..it does feel good to clean our your closet:) Until next week... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!