Half the Bachelorette-All the fun

Keeping things old skool can be tough. I thought the Bachelor started at 10...so I was happily..okay somewhat painfully ...making through a hard-core (focus on core) yoga class..thinking, I'd easily make the 10 pm start time. Lo and behold I turn on the TV and I see Tony gripping a brick wall crying..My heart stopped. Not because Tony was crying..but I missed half the show!!...Ahhh!!!! Back to Tony gripping the wall. Emily goes to console him..but it seemed like the corners of her mouth were upturned very slightly-like she was trying to suppress a smile. Under the guise of releasing him to be with his son, Emily bid Tony a rivederci,told him he's be a great husband(but not for her) and slunk back to the worthier men in her sequined Aztec themed short skirt.I wonder if the Aztecs every bedazzled their outwear? She goes off to award the rose to Sean..pretty cute for a blonde guy. Although I much prefer brunettes-there are an assortment of brown haired ding dongs in the gaggle of men. Well that was a fun group date..whatever that was:) One on one date.. I'm not sure why every time I see Arie' name on the screen, I think of the underwear store arm of American Eagle..but that's aerie I think. Well darn it..Emily is sweet on Arie. So much so that she took him to the playground of her youth..nope no the greenbrier hotel..but Dollywood. Emily's is keepin it real and keepin' it country. It's Emily's Disneyland. They go on a rollercoaster..Arie doesn't seem overly reassuring..but Emily makes it through... Then they're off to the theatre..where the the tentative couple are going to write a love song..not for a love clock, but just 'cause. Emily appears fond of journalling feelings. Apparently it leads to clarity..I wonder what Brad Womack's therapist would say about it. But guess who shows up??? Dolly!! Now if that doesn't put pepper in the gumbo..and she looked prettier than a glob of butter in a stack of pancakes!! Emily was shocked...and thrilled. I gotta say..I love Dolly too. There seems something very genuine about her..and very sweet. But what was with the skin-like sparkly gloves she was wearin? She played a tune for Arie and Emily, had some girl talk with Emily, then sang a song that she wrote for her husband. Holy smokes...45 years married..and in showbusiness. Gotta give it up to Dolly! Now Arie and Emily after all that dancin' and romancin' they have a bite to eat ..but I didnt see them eat. Arie opens up how he dated/lived with a woman with two kids and how close he was to them. Awwww.. Arie. Emily goes to award the rose..and tries to fake him by inserting "but"...Arie's face drops.he looks like he's about to cry...but Emily gives it to them. And what better to do after eating, then ride a carousel..where the smooched. Arie looks like he has good technique. Way better than Brad. But isn't it a bit odd that she says he reminds her of her deceased husband. That image and legacy would be hard to live up to I'd think. Cocktail party. Wow..this was quite a cocktail party. Kalon...he tells her she is a lady of class. His poor diction makes me nuts. Everything about Kalon-even his shiny lips. But what passes them is what makes me more annoyed. The fact he told her "I like when you talk but let me finish"..this is the problem..he never finishes. He talks and talks. So freaking annoying. Now..what was with the egg?Shelly ...it was a real egg? what whas the significance. Travis wanted to break out of his shell? He's fragile? He's fertile? I dunno. They busted the egg and created a slippery surface. Speaking of slippery surface..Alessandro..make a solid slide down. He says that being married would be a compromise. He says he's like a gypsy king. Well, she took no time to kick his Bamboleo out the door. Hola crap! What a loser. Adios Alessandro. Alessandro the grain merchant is of to sow more oats. Sean reassured Emily he'd be a good dad. I heart Sean. Arie gave Emily another reassuring kiss..which Ryan saw. And that...just dilled his pickle. I'm not sure who is more annoyingRyan or Kalon. Kalon seems dim, as does Ryan..but Ryan seems to have more of a bully in him than Kalon. Well..they both get roses..and the only one sent packing is the party MC. Huh? she didn't pick the party MC as father of the year. Maybe there are some party MCs that are wicked dads..Guess the kids would always have bumpin' beats at their major milestones. Well..it promises to be a season chock full of drama..as they're off to Bermuda. I'm away next week..so no Rose Report...