Those socks tho

After watching the WTA- I feel like I wanted to skip to FODs and go right to next week.
I was sensing that he wouldn't pick Kendall (and not because I search for Spoiler alerts to the show..I like to watch the journey unfold as it should:))


Kendall's date was first..but it was like she foreshadowed the conclusion when she said things like "I hope I'm ready...I don't want to say yes if I'm not sure", then later when she told him "guys like me for novelty"...words are powerful..they can project you to a future state.
But back to Peru for a second. I did learn something about Peru...When I think Peru..I just think lush, rainforest and Machu Piccuh...didn't think there were sandy plains. Was not award of its diverse geography..must be like how some people would picture all of Croatia to look like Dubrovnik.But why would they choose the Ica region? I mean all that sand..it's like camping, but in South America.

So on this date..Kendall said she was falling in love with him and Ari said he was  definitely falling in love with her too. Does that mean Kendall is now caught up to the other girls??
(after 10 years still confused..does falling in love mean you're in love?)

Lauren
Lauren is still having difficulty speaking her mind because she is battling herself. Ari takes Lauren in a plane to look at geoglyphs..but it was like he was there solo because Lauren is speechless. Then they go sit beside some water - a pool? that looks like it needs some chemical treatment...she wants him to make her feel like she's the only girl there. Well, Lauren, that's not the way the rose petals fall on this show. But at least she's talking. Still can't be easy to know that the dude across from you will likely sleep be conversing with other women all night. He reassures her there's a reason why you're sitting across from me. That is no comfort. Basically he's just telling her she survived elimination. I'm not sure how he's so in love with her since she has a hard time with words. Well, Ari has a way with words because he says I love you to her..and she's like "arre"(giddy-up in Spanish) Arie, let's get to the fantasy suite.
ugh..it was the same suite as the one Kendall had. They might have changed a few throw cushions and put a different dessert on the table..but it was the same room. Ewww....
The next morning..they are both happy to be in each others arms...but even though it's a shared suite, Arie has to leave...to get to another date.
But those socks. The guy is an international race driver...where is that sock situation acceptable?

Becca
Those 2 have apparently an amazing connection..but something about the way Becca talks is hard to listen to. That and Becca is excited about everything. The word excited might rank up there with amazing and journey for most used words on the bachelor.
the two hop on a boat..look at a lot of birds..and chat on the catamaran...How does Arie switch from being in love with Lauren to locking lips with Becca. Becca SO wants to tell Arie she's in love with him..and does it over dinner..guess what? HE LOVES HER TOO!  She says si to the fantasy overnight date card...which happens to be..in a tent! My first thought was 'where's the bathroom'. So much sand, so little running water. But you who doesn't care? Becca. She's happy and full.

The next morning..apparently there is tent service...and they dine..on a blanket and throw pillows on sand.

In a bid to add drama, Becca's not so eloquent ex makes his way to Peru. His first stop is to see Arie..because...well I'm not sure why. Arie kept a cool head and calmly listened to Ross..who looked like he hasn't skipped leg or chest day in a long time:) After chatting with Arie..Ross got a minuscolo "bouquet" of flowers for Becca..and made his way over. They both looked like they were laughing at first..then she had to talk to him outside...hmm..guess she couldn't trust him or herself to let him in to her hotel. Sounds like Ross is a bit of a romantic..and likes grand gestures..Becca said that this is not like the Notebook. I've never seen that movie...but this all seemed more Titanic-like to me.(actually Becca and Arie tried to enact a scene from the movie) Ross tells her he's not going to try to convince her. Apparently Ross isn't that good a rhetoric.  He just figured his dashing summer suit and fresh hair cut would win her over. I can see why Becca would be excited about Arie over Ross..even though Arie moans a lot and has an annoying laugh- at least he can have a conversation. Ross shoved the flowers (sans roses) at her and said 'these are yours'.  Man that guy is charming.

The only thing that I found puzzling about Ross was how did he have minimal creasing that suit he was wearing. Maybe he brought a steamer with him?

Best line of the night: Arie's thought when Ross came Arie's suite: "Why is hotel management at the door".

Rose ceremony
Arie takes Kendall aside..and to the crying bench. He says he can't see it. Guess he didn't fall as deep. She hugs it out with Arie.and cries in the black Chevrolet (that wasn't blurred out..maybe they sponsored the sandy dates in Ica) about why she never falls in love. Ah Kendall don't force it.

Roses awarded to Lauren and Becca..and they and a caballo awkwardly watch the sunset and ponder their futures.

I wonder what will be so dramatic about this conclusion? Will Becca run back to Ross??
Until the grand finale...I LOVE THIS SHOW.

Hometowns!!!

How appropriate that homteowns were on Family Day!!!!What I think that families have mastered is how to circumvent the "can I have your daughter's hand in  marriage?" question. They all just say I trust ________ 's decision. If it's good for her, it'll be good for us.

How can Ari (or any Bachelor) expect a vote of confidence after just spending 2 hours and bringing flowers and a basket (?) of goodies. Ari also managed to skillfully dodge the questions of 'how about the other girls'. This show is so weird at times...it kinda supports open relationships with a goal of monogamy and commitment.

The girls supporting and asking each other..'who is he going to pick' is like paring down (lol paring lolol) the sister wives. I've been blogging for 10 years  but sometimes I shake my head and wonder WTF is with this show.

Were there any highlights? Well..not really...some notable parts were...

• I applaud Ari for handing rat skin and trying some taxidermy.
• Why did everyone rely on Michelle's 'energy readings'?
• What was that room/closet that they had conversations in at Kendall's parent's house-it was like a walk-in closet featuring items from "Tattered Rose" (that's an Edmonton storefront I have only seen from the street..have never been in there..but that closet had a Tattered Rose vibe)
• a round of little wieners in Weiner, haven't toasted with meat before..but maybe some of them are keto
• Tia's brother seemed like has been away awhile...incarcerated maybe, but maybe just sewing his oats, but he's back from the field to protect his little sister. But I reckon that one wrong word or glance at Jason and he's be madder than a wet hen. He seems like a loose canon.Tia's dad was all good after he grilled Ari in the Cook Shack. Ari convinced dad not  to believe everything he reads on Google. And finally..that Cook Shack patio...was that an intentional design feature. I didn't see a shack. Not sure I like what they did with that space.
• We switch from wieners to a healthier choice..apples. Becca takes Ari apple picking, then launching then dipping. so many apple activities. At the family home pastor/uncle Gary has some tearful moments with Ari. Ari says he'd go to church.and Jill Becca's mom seems like th sweetest most supportive lady.
• At Lauren's Ari was the most sweaty..but hit it off with Lauren's dad...mom on the other hand seemed super suspicious and said 'hmmmm' a lot. They had the nicest house of them all.
• More sweating at the Rose Ceremony...Ari pulls Kendall out to see if she'll feel like marrying him at the end. She can't guarantee that ...but he gives her the rose anyway!
• Tia goes home...Ari takes her to the crying bench enroute to the black car..and he's got nothing. All he can tell her is that he was up all night . Tia keeps it classy and tells him to follow his hear. Tia cries in the car wondering why no-one picks her..and this is the reason (disappointment) why she has walls up.

Next week..a two nighter...WTA and then the FOD in Peru..

Until next week I (am confused by something things but I still) Love this show!!!!!

Showdowns before the hometowns

Call me shallow, but I'd take watching this showdown for a Neil Lane ring over Olympic Rings.

This episode wins for most non-English words spoken in a  Bachelor episode.
Grazi! Prego! Andiamo!Ciao! Cia bella! belissmo! gelato!
Now that we know Arie knows how to use Google Translate, we begin some dates under the Tuscan sun.

The first russare (means snore in Italian) of a date was with the non-22 year old Becca
She low-high dress on..super flowy. Like the randon words en Italiano, there was a random bread stand with a dude with an apron. The bought a picolino bread..then to another store to buy some fromaggio and vino. They talked, then twirled.
Ari did a lot of twirling in this episode.
Ari was reassured by Becca
She gets to rozzzzzzz (oops...almost fell dormire on that date)


Lauren
Was pretty much mute again, because she's terrified. Spoke mainly in short affirming phrases. They're in the town of Luca..with walls used to 'fortress' the city. So Ari hits up google translate but not gram marly...and got all up into using a noun for a verb. I get that ripped jeans at the knees are literally and metaphorically cool, but didn't it look like Lauren cut circles out of her jeans at the knee? They grab some gelato..climb some stairs..and then play soccer with the kids..while Ari mainly kept the ball away from the kids. You da uomo Ari.

He's so attracted to her...but unsure..the moment she utters that she is into him he has to leave the table.. I'm like 'whah?" Does he need to scoreggia...Nope..he just got so nervous that he had to go walk in a circle by himself.

Lauren gets the rose.

Meanwhile..who's getting real..but Jacqueline..she's doubting her feels. She goes to talk to Ari..it sounded like she was being all emotional and complimentary...she she wasn't feeling this. This Bachelor thing was not her marmellata.

Good decision Jacqueline! Good luck with your PhD. The girls are so shocked when she goes..Becca (22 year old) calls it...my odds just went up. Some girls are crying. So weird.


Sienne..
This one didn't go right from the start. Seine looked so pretty..but the awkward carb laden family lunch of pizza and pasta...maybe didn't sit right. They go for dinner later..and I wasn't feeling any love from Ari to Sienne and she was all reassuring to him. Didn't work this time. She got sent home..but not without her scolding him for not telling her sooner.

The mini-group date:
Kendall and Ari seem so into each other. I still don't get the taxidermy thing..kendall gets the rose and then the most awkward dinner between Ari, becca and Tia...Beccau seemed super fake..and even when she was crying when she felt misunderstood...it felt forced..she even showed Ari she is getting white hair...it's like she tried to get him to feel protective, then she showed him some sign of age with some white hair, then she challenged him have faith. It seemed fake..
Glad Tia got the rose. Props to Tia for letting Becca know  Tia threw Becca under the cheese cart by telling  Ari that Becca  isn't serious.
That girl from Weiner has got balls:)


Next week hometowns..From the previews, it looks like none's family is digging the Bachelor protocol. The good news is that Becca's mom now knows that Becca is not missing but is now back in the land of social media (didn't Becca's mom report her as missing?)

yeesh..what a journey so far..
Until hometowns...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!

I have no words

Not that there wasn't a lot to comment about..but I have my version of a man cold...
When I get a sore throat I feel like everything must stop..

Sooo..this will be a diet rose report..a rose report light.
Here's a few petals..
Hotels in Paris must be super expensive..b/c I think the girls got an air b'n b or maybe a hydro b'n b. they were holed up in a large boat. Just to add nausea to the heightened pressure.

-Chris Harrison looks like he's getting younger.
-Lauren gets a one on one date, one girls not so astutely says they get a gondola ride (wrong country, wrong boat).
-Lauren is all clammed up. Ari reveals someone broke up with him and the woman lost his child...sheesh..Lauren then opens up that she's super closed off. It's complicated. But she did say "Wow' at least 3 times during the date.

Group date
Moulin Rouge. The girls look gorgeous. The show blacks out that they are wearing thongs. This show  is so proper
-I think Becca is kinda manipulating him. I think she told him she got jealous so she'd get the rose.
And she did. Then the girls had to watch their performance in Moulin Rouge. Which consisted of walking with good posture and Becca smiling histrionically.

2:1
-Krystal looked great. Kendall really likes droppy off the shoulder dresses which I never really got behind. Things were looking good for Krystal until she told Ari Kendall wasn't ready for marriage. In Arie's limited  emotional intelligence told Kendall. Kendall took that lemon and made lemonade and reached out to Krystal to say that she must have been hurt if Krystal keeps trying to hurt people.
Ari still can't decide so they go to dinner (read they go sit at a table with what looked like pannacotta) and he announced the Kendall got the rose.
-Krystal says she still wants love...I think she shed a few tears.

Jacqueline
-she asks Arie.'why wouldn't you be attracted to intelligence?"...good question..she needs to work on her PhD..but they think there is enough to work on.
Jacqueline gets the rose...and she so reminds me of Katy Perry.


No cocktail party
We go straight to roses....I had a feeling Chelsea would go..the girls seemed Legit sad that Jenna didn't get a rose..Chelsea seemed annoying in her smugness...so...I'm happy she left.

Next week..they're off to the country where real gondolas reside...Italy...
Tuscany specifically.

Until next week... adoro questo spettacolo...and from the previews..what a spettacolo it will be!!
PS Who was Lauren talking to after the rose ceremony? a producer? an artifact on the wall? I do think Lauren's fromage is slipping off her craquelin.