Monday, March 14, 2011

The Final Rose Report..for Brad

It's the most controversial season ever ?! Was it..at times it was the most plodding ever..and it's not to pick on Brad's droll drawl..bu his awkwardness reared its head and emerged...just as Brad's half naked body came out of the water countless times as the commercial breaks were ending.

Final rose..so that means the Womack clan heads south to South Africa to traipse through some back country and cut through the greenery to get to Brad's picture perfect digs in Cape Town. His place was impeccable and the views were breathtaking..and Brad's family. Awesome!! My faves of the night were Pam-Brad's mom and Wes..Brad's non twin brother. Holy smokes..wasn't Brad's twin brother cute??? His whole family seemed so lovely. When Brad catches sight of his brother he did that weird hot diggity smack down of his hand against the patio railing...but gosh darn it..he was so happy to see them all. He was choked up, with tears, many of them..so much so that he almost pulled a Mesnick when he had to brace himself against the railing to pull himself together.

First woman up..Chantal.
Was it me, or did Chantal's verbal exchanges sound very adolescent. Chantal came bearing a green gift bag and wearing some oversized shoulder grazing matching green earrings (think Michelle left those behind??) The Womacks did not attack..they were lovely and gracious and momma 'mack gave Chantal the two thumbs up.

Weird clap again..Emily comes a callin'
Gosh darn it Emily gets Brad all riled. When the doorbell rings, Brad claps (and the door doesn't open) so he jumps up to get it. It's Emily and he seems wayyyyy for affectionate with his southern belle. Weird thing is that when she hugs Brad she always gives him a 'there there' tap on the back. Wes states the first thing he noticed was her kind nature. Right. Emily mesmorizes the Womacks..and has them crying with her sad story. Momma is very much a huge supporter of Emily and thinks it's flattering that she introduced her daughter Ricky to Brad. Awww..way to go Pam.

Family votes: Emily 1 Chantal 0

Last chance dates
Swimming with the sharks..
Yeah..that was Michelle last week on the women tell all..but this is the literal swimming..actually it was more standing with the sharks. Aw romantic...get into a wet suit and stand in cold water. I was wondering if Chantal O was going to do up her wet suit...she does like to show off her front assets. And there we had..another dating 'test' and Chantal did it!! Then back to the room..and Chantal traced..i mean drew a map of the world and put red dots on it!!! Awwwwwwww!!!! She says she travelled the world for this guy..I mean she flew all expense paid by a reality show to compete for this guy...same thing. And she also wrote a little scroll for him..guess what she loves Brad...who knew?

A rocky date
Emily gets all the clean non competitive dates...She wore an outfit that was one wind puff away from a wardrobe malfunction. I wonder if it was hot there..and if her feet got hot in her boots, but it was balanced by her supershort belted shirtdress. So Brad and Emily sit on a rocky precipice (with emily positioned behind him) and they look out on a gorgeous scene and do not eat. Back at Emily's place..they have some more one on one time..where I think they had a staged fight about Brad's ability to be a father. Emily asked what a father means to Brad and Brad lists some broad adjectives (protector, provider, friend ). Emily seemed like she was looking for specific adjectives (like helper, vomit wiper etc) then he said he wanted to be Ricky's real dad. huh? Someone hand Brad a biology textbook and we should flip to the DNA helix review. So Brad gets upset that he's not getting accolades about his fabulousness and feels like he's being questions. Whoa..new concept..being questioned about big life issues before going into a marriage. So Brad goes to get a tall drink of water to cool off...then he leaves..avec a parting gift. What did Emily get him???

Prepping for the proposal
Veteran Bachelor watchers know what this involves..for the women, looking reflective, journalling and lounging in picturesque settings. For Brad..he went for a walk..often looking a wee confused as to his whereabouts. Then he has to buy..i mean take a ring from the ring sponsor..Neil Lane. Neil happened to be in the neighbourhood and enthusiastically helped Brad and even threw some affirming statements: "That sounds like love Brad"...guess they couldn't fly therapist out for this .

The long walk...
First..the producers scout a site that will give Chris and the women a good walk. And then there is the big question..who will get out of the limo first...and it was..Chantal..quest-que ce sur la shoulder de Chantal. C'est un oiseau!!! What was with the feathery creation ?? It would look like it tickled....well Chantal would need a good laugh..b/c Chantal in her up-do'd, feathery gold shadowed splendour was denied!!!and Brad needed to tell her TWICE that he had a stronger connection with someone elseo. Okay Romeo we got it the first time. Then he asked her if she was okay? didn't you read the scroll Brad..she loved you...she's not okay. Well off she went into the limo and cried.

Next...it's the ending most of us expected...Emily is going to be Mrs. I'm going to Austin Womack. Emily looked so lovely. Brad said some very sweet things...but it was the least dramatic acceptance in bachelor history.Whah? No picking up the girl and twirling her around, not kissing and dipping...but they inaudibly spoke to eachother with the song Marry Me in the background. Aww..he really loves Emily. I knew it!!!!

And..until next time..May apparently and with Ashley (Dancing Dentist) S..the Bachelorette... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

WTA and WTH

When I watch Women Tell All..I often ask myself why the heck I watch this?



It really is a way to extend the Bachelor season with some catty banter between women..but they did throw in the Bachelor family reunion party first.

Let me tell you the Bachelor family reunion is not G rated.



You know who shone on the WTA...Chris. What a show!! The hot seat was more like the therapy couch, he cajoled, charmed and counselled the ladies from his seat. At first he sat back and let the 'ladies' interview themselves.



I don't get why the women are all hot and bothered by eachother. They'd be better off and they'd all come across better if they had a preshow talk and said they won't say anything nasty about eachother. What unites all of them is that Brad didn't want to date them. They make eachother look worse by fighting with eachother. The worst was the girl who got mad at Michelle for spoiling her chance with Brad. She's still choked about it!! Clearly the dude has moved on..and she's still pining for him.



Most surprising about face was Jackie ..she was relentless with Michelle. Michelle was consistent in her large jewellery piece..and looked lovely before the meltdown. I kinda thought she melted down because of her nasty shots at the girls . So she was already crying and Jackie kept laying in on her..Later Stacey makes a comment about how a good mother should be. Michelle did seem to lay it on a little thick about her 'right reasons' for being there. Scary thought that she'd was determined to marry someone without knowing them that well. But the women didn't have to keep pressing her. Chris was stellar in reeling in the girls and especially Jackie...keenly pointing out that some or Jackie's anger must be towards Brad not choosing her to be interested in. Chris did a lovely job of paying some compliments to Michelle by saying her narration was hysterical. Chris has a midas touch with the ladies and with getting the goods.



Ashley S interview was cringe-worthy..yikes she still wants to know why Brad wouldn't want her to be his wife. Yikes!! She wanted more closure...You know what closure is...the Bachelor helping you to the limo and closing the door...it is very literal.



Ashley...brought to you by Clairol Nice 'n Easy...she looked a like a hair colour model...i thought her hair looked really good..and she was sans pony tail. My gut instict about Ashley..she just wasn't that into Brad. She gave Chris and Brad the 'it's not you it's me' speech. Classic. She looked great and really happy..maybe she passed her licensing exams. She kinda reminded me of Trista..from Trista and Ryan days...maybe she'll be the next Bachelorette?? or maybe Ashley..so that spurned women of the world cand find hope that love can exist after many bad relationships.



Speaking of hope..well...there was the nod to philanthropy this season....to balance the bitter taste from the girls fighting..the Bachelor brought warm water and more electricity to Henna!! Awww..and Brad does some of his awkward hoe down clapping with the kids..he brings southern charm to South Africa..meanwhile Chris bent it like Beckam showed his wicked soccer moves..amongst the 7 year olds...way to champ..showing up the underprivileged kids ...



Finally the piece de resistance showed up...Brad...and he did show some respect to the ladies..and was complimentary..gave another awkward clap when Ashley wanted to give hime a hug..and guess what..he's more in love than ever!!!

Well..i know what I can't wait for...

What's that you ask??

Next week...because I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! (except for WTA)