This episode went so froggin' fast

Yeah!! Monday night!! And the Bachelor is on it's world tour. Next stop:

Fort Lauderdale

Well,  according the Fort Lauderdale Tourist Board it's known as the "Venice of America", due to its extensive canal systems.

Right. Okay.. on to the journey.

The intro is typical-the girls arrive enthusiastically to the new city. Typically the mood is light and they make inane comments about the environment . Chelsea "There's tons of water in Fort Lauderdale". They are thrilled with their hotel, explore it like children might you know, jump on the bed, put their shoes on the furniture.

First date: Chelsea
Tick tock
Tick-tock on the clock but the party don't stop no
Ari's gonna get serious with momma Chelsea b/c he don't wanna waste no time. They have a date..I'm not sure if Chelsea is wearing a cover-up or a square table cloth fashioned as a dress. I think she needed a larger square. They yacht, she is "Titanicing" - that's a word from one of the bachelorettes then jet ski..the girls happen to have a telescope on the balcony and watch them.  Chelsea then straddles Arie on a jetski. That seemed like a watercraft "don't".
Then they are off to a dinner in a car museum (hang on...I need to suppress my yawwwwwwwwwwn). Chelsea is thrilled with the car museum! She wants to sit in every car! Yeah right. Krystal's not the only one who is fake. Chelsea tells her story how she's was swept off her feet by an older wealthy man who wanted to mould her into his vision. Then the story gets questionable...they separate at 6 months and he leaves her for another woman..and her clothing is in trash bags.  I betcha they were Glad Extra strength ones and not the cheapo ones:) So then she makes it on her own..with nothing but everything b/c she has her child. Hmmmm wonder if there was any child support there. Funny, how she was saying how she got swept off her feet and made a wrong decision.- I feel like this might be happening times numero deux for her. So Arie is thrilled she's independent..and gives her a rose..and another concert. I was betting on fireworks..because there have already been so many concerts.

Speaking of fireworks..doesn't Jacqueline kinda look like Katy Perry a bit?

Group Date: Not so ballin' they go bowlin'
The boring group date. Group bowling, then a team competition. winner gets more time with Arie!
Blue team wins, Arie invites both teams because he wants to give everyone a chance of time with hime. Arie totes is an equal opportunity Bachelor. Krystal is a the social conservative of the bunch. She is upset that Arie broke with the tradition and rule that the winner of the Bachelor competition gets the time. She's so made she boycotts the cocktail party. There is no solidarity on Team Blue...she stays back in her room. Arie comes to her and basically tries to tell her to stay in her room..and that this may set them back. I think this is meant to make Krstyal tremble in her Adidas Ultra Boosts.

At the cocktail party, there is a lame attempt at 21 questions "What's your fave colour" "How do you like your eggs". The art of conversation is dead. You know what's not? Arie's pillow lips. Those lips are getting a workout this season. Kendall has a book of questions..and the one Arie chooses question 99 has to do with cannibalism. That and the taxidermy...not sure what Arie sees in her..maybe he's fascinated in a PT Barnum kinda way.

And there is much talk about Krystal. Talking about Krystal is the best advertising for her..kinda like Trump..everyone keeps talking about him.
But back to the show.

Becca (younger Becca) is the most adorable. Arie is still worried about her age. Ah Arie..don't worry..that'll just shorten your telomeres. Just keep the sleep and protein high...

Trying to put a little Wiener into the date
Sippin' Bud, getting perved and getting dubbed daps and hugs , mean mugs and shoulder shrugs.
That Arie..he's just trying make Tia feel at home throwing down some Country Grammar.  He brings Tia on a country date. Wouldn't it make more sense that you take the country girl on the 2:1 yacht date (Ari, the boat guy and the girl:) and take Chelsea on the everglade/homemade cabin, fried frog/catfish date.

But Arie takes her on a county-like date..they see alligators. Arie learns that Tia has been froggin- where you spear frogs in a dish (I wonder if Kendall could taxidermy amphibians). They sit on a porch..not sure where the house owner was..I think he felt like he was on that date too.

They go to a boat museum!  Tia grew up in the church, Arie has no faith..not sure if he's atheist or agnostic. But she pays that no mind..she's falling' in lurve...

Tia gets the rose!

Cocktail drama
More talk about Krystal.

Rose ceremony
Ashley and Mariq and Maquel go home...

Next week...They're off to Paris!!!!!! (the one in France)

Until next week... J'aime ce programme!!!!!!

PS so far only one Rose Report reader contacted me to tell me that she thinks a 14 year age difference is too big..please weigh in.

So happy we are sharing this amazing journey together...
K