The Rose Report started in 2008, when we had the 'don't use work email for personal use' talk...and I had just started sending paragraph summaries to friends....Since I have a tendency toward paranoia..I stopped sending a summary and just started a blog:) And that's when the Rose Report bloomed!
I still freaking love this show:) for all the right reasons.
This particular episode triggered 3 of my favourite make-up product of 2017...that I will infuse into the RR.
Thanks to whoever still reads the RR. I love passion and commitment...just like they do one the Bachelor:)
Sooo I don't know much about racing....but I do know the Bachelor..so let's get this journey started.
Ari starts with narrating that this is the most important race of his life. Then there was a long drawn out montage to how much he was in love with Emily. I sauntered over to the kitchen to get a snack..and managed to peel, section and eat a grapefruit by the time he finished. Dude. It's done.(and nice work Emily on not reading his journal) . What would that have changed.
What I don't remember is Ari being a great kisser. I will check my blog history. I thought this season's bachelor was going to be Peter ....he seemed a bit more dynamic..even though Peter's idea of a fun date is going to the farmers market-which I've always thought is overrated. Buying overpriced Swiss chard and walking around looking at jarred goods I'd never use or buy seems like a bit of a bore. Interesting that both contenders have grey hair... I wonder if they'll ever have a grey haired Bachelorette. I will not wait with bated breath.
But it's Ari...he seems genuine..from everything carefully curated on the show.
And did we get that he loved Emily. He LOVED her. Let's not forget that..and he didn't find the same love since then. Maybe his competitive/adrenalin need is not met in the non-reality (i.e. real reality ) of daily life. Maybe that's a thing.
Hopefully the women competing for him works:)
Speaking of.
SO. MANY. WOMEN.
This also surprised the women on the show. I"m not sure why...I've been blogging for 10 years..there are always 25 women..so this time there were 4 extra...
The previews of some of the women's lives was funny. The best line was from a realtor (can't remember which one..there was heavy real estate representation on the show)...who said "I grew up around cars." lololololol. And the rest of us grew up around...horse and buggy? Damn...don't mean to offend any Amish readers of the RR. Oh wait..they don't have computers. Nevermind.
Maquel (22) stated she wants to get married...since she is a wedding photographer and loves it. (Product mention #1). The name Maquel was triggering..because my favourite lipstick EVER is the Nars Audacious line..and I have one that is awesome called Barbara...but one that I keep looking at and not buying is called Raquel. .I think I"m going to buy that Raquel lipstick. It's a sign.
Nisha went too far with her plane jumping metaphor. She jumped out of a plane once (and a camera happened to be there)..so now she wants to take a risk with Ari. Whah? I mean I love a fromage-y Bachelor metaphor but this one didn't make sense...You gotta make it gouda. (side bar..my friend Robin told me one of my jokes was a dad joke...and all my life I thought I was tremendously witty...so now I'm a bit sensitive about my humour)....but I"m keeping the cheese reference in. 'Cause who doesn't like cheese?
Tia from Wiener. That Name. Tia..who is friends with Raven..seems super likeable. So she's a physical therapist. Does that mean physiotherapist? Is there a lot of work in Wiener?
Kendall the creative director who plays the ukelele and collects taxidermy. Yeesh. Terrible decor...but great place for hanging laundry to dry . ( I dated a guy who would use his 'art' statues to dry his running clothes...)
Krystal..has a very breathy voice..and is coach...I'm hoping she stays on ...I'm interested to hear what coaches have to say about fitness and nutrition...I'm not saying I'm going to believe her...I try to keep an open mind...Sweet how she brings food to the homeless. Hope her brother is ok.
Alrighty..so that brought us to the limos arriving...and 10 years later..some girls still scream when they approach the mansion... what has changed in 10 years is that the women are relying more on props so they can be remembered...Ari received a lot of gifts...beaded necklaces, elephant cuff links, a ring box, a checkered flag, a 15 second guided meditation, a BUMper sticker, a gratitude rock. The guy needed a loot bag.
The weirdest one was the personal stylist who asked him to smell her arm pits. I think that was some round about way to get to pit stop.
Bekah (the young one whose age is not disclosed) comes up in a mustang and says I may be young but I can appreciate a classic...Ari is unfazed. Bekah looks Audrey Hepburn like. She's so freaking cute.
Jenna in the electric blue satin dress...seemed like she had about 5 Monster beverages before meeting Ari. She is so hyper.
But Tia and the small wiener. lolololol....She gives him a small wiener and says I hope you don't have one...To which Ari say no I don't have one like this....I wonder if that truly is a souvenir from her hometown. Hopefully she didn't give him a real Weiner..like those cocktail ones. That is one of the few foods that makes my skin crawl.
Chelsea seemed like a front runner (pole position) from the start. Her dress was understated..unlike most of the dresses on the show which are mainly terrible. The Creative Director looks like she fashioned a dress from a shower curtain. Ari seems intrigued by Chelsea..Chelsea is super sarcastic and talks a lot...
Brittany..challenged Ari to a race..and if she won she'd get a kiss. Well Ari let her win..and they kissed..she said his lips are so soft..like pillows (Product mention #2- my all-time favourite lip balm is the LANEIGE grapefruit sleeping mask....even works in our Arctic pole-like/dry conditions here in YEG. )
Jenna...still hyper..happens to round up a foot soaker and massages Ari's feet (Product #3..it's not a foot thing..but the L'Occitane almond shower oil is dreamy for shaving your legs with and making them super soft)...but back to Jenna..now I"m not sure if she's super tangential or has some attention deficit issues..but she's got Ari's attention..
Ari seems to like to figure people out....
When Krystal had her 15 seconds with Ari on the couch..she seemed to get different music..and when Chelsea pulled Ari away from her (for her 2nd! visit) Ari looked back at Krystal. What can I say..people that spell their names with a K are super intriguing.
9 hours of cocktail partying...
Chelsea got the first impression rose...
I had a feeling the TV reporter wouldn't get one..but I did think it was so sweet that her dad had met Ari...
And the roses go to.... ( I couldn't keep track of the Beckah's and Lauren's so I kept a list of who got picked)
- Bekah K
- mariik
- Kendall..
- Lauren G
- Krystal..she's a smitten kitten
- Bekah M
- Lauren S
- Seinne
- Caroline
- Brittany T
- Bibiana..
- Annalise
- Jenna-foot tub
- Valerie
- Jacqueline
- Jenny
- Lauren B
- Ashley
- Tia
- Maquel-why did you do that to me?
Instead of Marik bringing the spice..I think Bibiana is going to bring it...all the spice and all the sauce.
Until next week (when Ari is in the drivers sheet)
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!
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