The Rose Report: On the Verge of Bored

The Rose Report: On the Verge of Bored

No More Drama…Mary J Blige’s 2002 album and hit. (Shout out to Mary J Blige’s and Andrea Bocelli’s Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water duet on the Grammy’s last night. It was such a powerful tribute to Haiti)….So why am I talking about Mary?? Well besides the fact it was an breathtaking and awesome performance ….unlike this episode. No drama to be found.

I’m not sure if it’s just me…but this was a dull dry episode. Ali and Vienna are still not liking eachother…but it’s really getting old

In good news, the girls can shake the dust off their stilettos because the buses rolled into San Francisco and the girls get to stay together in a 5 star hotel. Jake meets the girls at the hotel and shows the girls their suite and passes out the first date card.

What the f….fortune?
No seriously…Tenley’s date conversation made me feel awful for her….Jake grills her at the dinner about what were the mistakes in her first marriage…and her key learning…she should have appreciated the moments..and and she really should have jumped up from the desk, couch and kitchen and greeted her husband when he came home. Ummm..I don’t quote Jake often…but as he said “cheating is a choice”.
As shucks…they both wrote kiss me in the fortune. That worked well because as we will soon learn…Jake doesn’t initiate…well maybe 80 %.

The Date Chest
Looks like Tacori diamonds didn’t sponsor this episode of the Bachelor. But instead Jake sends a chest of….clothes….to go on the castle/vineyard date. Gia did so well on her first vineyard date…that she gets to go again! So no diamonds on this date…but the producers did what they could …and they rustled up some shiny sequiny tops for the girls. Yucky.
Did anyone notice that Gia still has a bandage on her finger from last week….what happened?? Maybe Gia has sharp teeth and she accidentally bit herself b/c she always seems to keep her fingers by her mouth when she is alone with Jake.(thanks Dave) Jake and Gia and the lantern have some alone time…and have the very important conversation about “how Jake puts all of the other girls legs on his lap”….then Jake professed that he’s falling for Gia. Someone pass the Gravol because I thought I was going to lose it when she asked “is it okay to fall”. The producers send Vienna all by herself only with a lantern and the cameraman behind her to see if Jake has fallen and can’t get up. Seriously..what was the purpose of that. Vienna goes on to emabarass herself, profess how much she was hurt at the last rose ceremony…when it was time to hit the hay..Vienna went on to find Jakes room at the castle and crawled into bed with Jake. Jake was not naked-but almost! And had impure thoughts! But he did send Vienna back to her quarters….

You know what annoys me about Jake. Don’t get me wrong..I think Jake’s probably a really good guy..I’m sure he’s a great neighbour, citizen, role model for clean livin’-but the guy does not ask questions. He has outrightly stated that he wants to find his wife…but wouldn’t you maybe let’s say..ask a few questions about the woman. Like I understand they most likely won’t be discussing the Copenhagen Treaty (especially since they take an entire rail car on a date, and travel by limo), but maybe have some more meaningful exchanges. I don’t think Jake has ever asked any woman about their careers or any questions about them….a great example of that was..Corrie’s date.

90/10 or 80/20….wrong formula
I nearly nodded off during the Corrie date. You know why the date didn’t go well…because she didn’t fawn over Jake. She didn’t profess his awesomeness. Jake says he goes in 80% and the girl has to come in 20%...umm nope. The girl has to make him feel unawkward in order for him to throw her a rose. Maybe it’s true that opposites attract. Corrie seems to be most suited to what he’s looking for on paper…..but if she’s not feeding his ego..then suddenly he’s just not that into her.

The Lame Date Card
Worst date card in Bachelor history. Jake basically gave her a card that said “I don’t want to plan the date, you plan it”. Big snore. I think he did pretty good at the Quaker tower, the Castle vineyard and the lovely park date. Maybe that was date card karma. She’s all talk no action…and now she’s forced to plan something. Not a huge fan of Ali these days. Maybe she’ll turn a corner. Not sure why Jake bought flowers at the start of the date- wouldn’t they die being carried around all day? Wasn’t Jake just a whole bunch of silly with the with the latte moustache? Then they went to the beach and Jake had a back rub…from stress of not planning a date. The both took a little dip into the Pacific…hopefully those boots weren’t suede.
PS…what was she carrying in the tote?? Did she have to cater the date too?
Worst quote of the show (Ali to Jake “you’re my big flower”…actually I think he’s more like a delicate flower)


The least dramatic rose ceremony ever.
Corrie’s gone. Jake’s eyes welled up.
Okay bring on the drama…Maybe in real life No More Drama is a good idea…but on a reality show…we need some drama. Next week it’s a Family Affair!!!!


Until New Week.. I Love this Show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!