This week it’s back to to the reality of the Bachelor…the drama, the excitement. Besides the hometowns..did anyone notice Jake’s abundance of purple shirts? And how many forehead and nose kisses this episode? Jake is making a tour of the hometowns to beg for the girls’ hand in marriage….begging?? Has anyone heard of begging for the girl's hand in marriage?
Empire State of Mind
First date Gia. She looked gorgeous. She greeted Jake and took him on a boat ride points out the sights of NYC-the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. That’s it. Enough sight-seeing..time to take pictures!! Sexy pictures, cute pictures, kissing pictures!!
They did make nice pictures together..who needs to see the sights?
Gia take Jake to meet her family..mama Donna, step-dad Tony who was sporting a lovely pony-tail, half brother Erick ( who went wild on the spikey hair brought to you by Dippity Do) and then the younger brother. They meet in a restaurant. When the family meets in a restaurant, it always makes me wonder what the house situation is like.
Donna seemed a bit flakey. Perhaps I now understand why Gia doesn’t have much self esteem when her mother says to her…I think he likes you..the way he looks at you. Gia seemed a bit more balanced than her mother when she responds “he takes everyone’s hand and he lookes at everyone like that”
What I want to know is what Jake means when he describes how he feels about Gia..it feels organic (umm carbon containing, sans pesticides?)
I’m betting that Jake is non too scared of Erick’s threat of ‘breaking a few legs’ if Gia gets hurt again.
After the family meeting Jake and Gia walk in streets and then partake in Gia’s favourite pastime…watching yellow taxis go by…sounded a bit stoop-id to me...
Catch a falling….leaf..Like really?
Jake had a warm greeting by Ali but a chilly reception to Massachusets. He was c-c-c-cold. I hear ya Jake..I hate being cold too. But Jake..there are millions of people watching and you are trying to be a bit of a tough guy in this journey. Well Jake did manage to shake a tree so that Ali could catch a falling leaf so she could make a wish . Jake makes dreams come true.
So what does the happy couple do first..visit Ali’s grandmother’s house. You know, Ali’s fond recollection of her grandmother and her being a nursemaid to her..started to endear me to Ali. Ali does have a heart. I’m not sure why she made a point to say her grandmother was like her mother….kinda made me feel badly for her mom..who is hosting a meet and greet. So off Ali and Jake go to Ali’s mom’s place…why did they enter through the back door?? Ali seemed legitimately surprised when her mom said what a compassionate girl Ali was….guess mom hasn’t seen the Ali/Vienna rows. Ali strikes me as fake with her family...
Ex ex ex..it’s all she ever talks about
Next stop. Oregon! Tenley is excited to have Jake come to her hometown. She needs to get down to brass tacks. She needs to find out if Jake is NOT like her ex. Pick up any dating book (umm not like I have or anything) and it says not advised to talk about your ex. But seriously, whenever you talk about an ex…he’s still taking up space in your brain. ‘Kay..I think we all know that Tenley has been hurt. We got that. Sigh. So when Tenley and Jake meet up and sit on a bench against a lovely lush green backdrop. Tenley lobs questions to Jake. So her ex let other people make decisions….so she asked Jake how he makes decisions and he reassuringly (?) responds ..i pass all the big decisions by my parents..they give good advice. But he does have the last word of course. Oddly, Tenley is okay with this. So off they go to the dance studio…where she’s going to show Jake her heart, her passion. Oh and did ya know..her ex never saw her dance. Subtle as a sledgehammer Tenley is as she dances, I means shows her heart, to the tune of Pachabels Canon in D.
Next they are off to to meet the parents. Looks like the tears don’t fall far from the ducts..everyone in Tenley’s family is a crier. I heart Tenley’s dad. Robert seems so sweet and genuine. I got a little choked up when he was saying that one of the hardest things to see is a dad seeing his child go through something painful. They all seemed pretty normal..except they never let Jake finish his dinner. Robert had a second chat with Jake..which ended in them both tearing up ..and a man hug. Robert is awesome.
Vienna
Qu’elle surprise!! I thought Vienna lived a life of grandeur from the way the girls talked up Vienna. It all looked fairly modest to me. I think Vienna was named after Vinnie (her dad). Vienna reassures us that she’ll take this marriage seriously. Looks like Vinnie spent all his extra cash on Vienna because did you notice they were eating hot dogs for supper. Weirdest quote from the family hometowns ‘ treat her right and you’ll come home to a clean house and the kids raised right’ yikes! Most odd hometown occurrence…the kissing in the bedroom with dad walking in.
Do I smell Fake-out?
Now Jake is back in LA (in that oddly fitting pink striped shirt)…and then he’s relaxing in his hotel. Ali totally pulled an Ed. She came to Jake’s hotel to tell him sad news….she must either go back home and back to work or stay on the show and get fired!! What’s a bachelorette to do??? Something seemed really off….she seemed so fake. Jake told her “Life is about minimizing your regrets”. Then he went on to say “You are lucky and blessed to have a job” and . then I thought Jake was going to say she was blessed to have met him, but he said that he was blessed and happy to have met her. He didn’t tell her what she should do.She was overcome with more fake crying that she had to sit down in the hallway (eww..can you imagine the bacteria)
The Rose Ceremony
I loved all the dresses except forVienna’s. Gia looked especially stunning. Ali calls a time out and requests to see Jake (again). For the first time ever,…deliberation interruptus!! Chris takes Ali to see Jake (I like how he provides an outstretched arm…Ali seemed to have a bit of a difficult time in her heels)..but..they did not talk in the deliberation area.-where the women’s pictures are placed on a shelf bathed in candlelight…the deliberation room with the wall of photos always seemed a bit shrine-ish to me. So Ali and Jake take a moment to talk on the couch..and Ali fake cries again..then they sit on a couch and then Jake that romantic creature offers to put her legs up on his thigh. That conversation that Jake and Ali had seemed to last an hour…I’m not sure if her pouty face or constant whine was more annoying. She tried to squeeze an answer from Jake-was she going to the end… na-ah Ali…that is information that only Jake and the producers are privy too. I think Jake showed excellent resolve. Ali overstayed her welcome on the couch. Chris had to come and break up the session…yikes..she should have thought out how she was sitting in her dress….the dress seemed on the verge of providing a wardrobe malfunction. You know what this long drawn out seemed to me. Ali really is not that into Jake..she’s trying to look broken up so that she doesn’t look like a bad guy . Why else would she keep saying “I’m sorry”.Since Ali couldn’t whine her way to an answer she decided to go….after a bit more fake crying and Jake escorted to down a very long hallway where they leaned a bit on eachother…metaphorically drawing strength from eachother. He takes a moment says his good bye..couldn’t quite shut the limo door..then had to lean on the handrail a melodramatic move that was first brought to us by Jason Mesnick. Jake really likes that move though .
Least cool move of the night
With three roses and three girls left..Jake says “Well girls come and get your roses”. At least he handed them to them.
Next week..Jake and the FODs!!!!!!!!!!!
And (no) surprise!! Ali comes a calling!!!!
Until next week..I LOVE this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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