It's true it's true!! This is the most dramatic season ever and the drama unfolds against the colourful, mysterious and picturesque city of Instanbul.
Got Game? (thx Nat)
What we got was a lot of bull from Rated R. The Bachelor family comes through for Ali. Jesse (remember make up artist from 'On the Wings of Love' Bachelor that wore too much eye make-up) well she reached Ali via Chris in Instanbul to tell her that Rated R has a gf named Jessica . Jesse then put Jessica on the phone Jessica spoke to Ali and told her that Justin was on the show to further his career (how original!) AND he's been calling Jessica, but Jessica found out he also has another girlfriend so she just wanted to stop Ali from any further pain. Got that? That one messed up love trapezoid. I'll get back to Rated R...but was Jessica reaching out to Ali out of a place of love and concern for another woman's feelings? I don't think so...seems to me that Jessica wanted to out Justin because she was dissed that Rated R had one more girlfriend. After all...Jessica was in on this master plan to further Rated R's career..she even took Rated R's headshots for the application. So after Ali gets off the phone she eloquently tells Chris H that she's p#$%*#$ (rhymes with dissed). So she marches down to the room to confront Rated R. Rated R responds by grabbing his passport and manbag and exits the room...and then hops around the hotel grounds like a chicken with his head cut off trying to exit the Hyatt hotel compound...he dashes through flower gardens and tries to re-enter the hotel but is politely refused by a waiter. Not exactly a macho exit for the wrestler..but it certainly was entertaining. So after Justin realized he couldn't find his way off the hotel grounds..he comes back to talk to Ali...and I'm not a proclaimed bulls$%* detector like Craig..but Rated R was lying through his teeth. He was so busted by the voice mails that he left for Jessica that were playing when the camera was filming him trying to leave the hotel again. Yikes...he got his fame but not likely as he imagined. I was expected Kasey to swing down to guard and protect Ali's heart during all of this....guess he's still stuck on the glacier in Iceland.
Ty
Okay the cowboy thing was cool in Iceland..but the redneck came out in Instanbul. Ty and Ali had a one on one in a Turkish bath. That was difficult to watch. I think Ty was really trying to create some moment with all the turkish towels, steam and bath salts. At least he took off his unsightly necklace for that part of the date..but it did come back on for the waterside dinner. Unfortunately what also came up at the dinner was 'traditional' views. He has learn that women are presidents of companies and CEOS and stuff. Yup. She still gave him a rose.... I dunno...i just don't get it.
Two on Twos for some One on One
Perhaps the most masochistic challenge for one on one time with Ali. The guys have to wrestle with professional wrestlers while doused in olive oil. Painful and risky. I wonder how Rated R would have fared in a wrestling match? Craig emerged victorious over the other guys..because he really really wanted time with Ali. Craig and Ali had the date (after Craig degreased)...but the lack of chemistry was so obvious on the date.
Frank
Frank gets the last one on one date. Frank's been getting very antsy about not being with Ali..and Ali has been saying that she really wants to reignite what they once had (nope not 20 years ago.more like 20 days ago). Again, I'm no expert..but I think this term describes them...
D. H. Lawrence called an "égoisme à deux": two people banded together, not because of love or an increasing understanding of each other, but rather because of their over-entanglement and mutual self-deprivation- a result of two underdeveloped egos.
They seem to just really need eachother..but it seems a little unhealthy...what do I know..I thought Jake and Vienna were going to last? But at least Frank got an awesome carpet and a rose from the date.
Painful goodbye...
I felt Craig's departure coming when Ali announced she didn't want a cocktail party and Ithink Craig knew too..he looked so nervous...so she cut Craig. During the long and painful walk to the door..Craig left on a high note..and told Ali that everything he said he meant (aww nice....) and Ali in her wisdom decides to rub some turkish bath salts in his wounds and tells him she didn't really feel that there was a romantic connection. A legitimate reason to cut Craig loose? Definitely! Necessary to tell him on his way out the door? No at all. Craig is likely smarter than most guys there..he likely got it that she wasn't into him when he didn't get rose.
Next stop..Lisbon...looks like it's going to get piri piri!!!
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Chillin' in Iceland
How very international. Wonder if Jillian feels jilted that all she got to do was take the train from BC to Alberta. Ali and the 11 'studs' go to explore the fire and ice of Iceland..on what looked like very chilly dates. Hmm maybe it would have been cheaper to vacation in Alberta or the Bachelorette enterprise have improved securing sponsorship. You'd think they'd try to keep it USA to help along the economy. But really who cares...let's hope Ali tries to get the lockdown on a connection and to make love l'ast'.
Tick Tock on the Clock
But the party don't stop no. Nope...the boys are immediately put to work. They land in Iceland and head to the clock and have 60 minutes to make Ali's heart melt. Some of the poems made my stomach turn. The quick studies learned from the Lion King that one must approach Ali and be near her. That was Kirk and Frank.Poetry be damned. It's proximity that mattered. So Kirk won (yay!! Kirk is kute:)
Shopping and Lobster
First Ali and Kirk got suited up in matching sweaters. You know Kirk could put on a company issue promotional jacket jacket with his name embroidered on the side and he'd still be adorable. So off the two go in matching sweaters for coffee..then dinner (so far great date!) Producers made it sound like Kirk had a sordid dating past but alas it was his college dorm that was sordid..and poor Kirk got sick!! Now that we know his issue was spore related. Phew. Kirk's a keeper!!!
Group Date!!
Well in the US people go mini-golfing...why not go mini horse back riding... on a glacier??? Ali looked like the jolly blonde giant standing beside her mini horses...reins in hand. Those reins were soon handed over to the Ty the cowboy. You can take the cowboy out of Nashville but not the cowboy out of Ty! Giddy up...Ty had the situation under total control. Nicely done....Chris L was a little jealous but I'm sure if they were building an ice hotel..he could have handled that well. So naturally after some glacial horseback riding..the date takes a natural turn to under glacier caving. Anything that required safety equipment is not my idea of a romantic date...but I'm sure Roberto was down with all of it..given his Cirque de soleil like performances in this last two dates. To wrap up and wind down...the group heads over to the very misty Blue Lagoon...it looked so beautiful. Ali happens to have her bikini on under her caving equipment...hmm and in the cave she only complained that her fingers were cold. Ali has to school Frank further that he must be more visible and pay her more attention on the date. Ali tells Roberto that she would never approach him in teh real world..to which Roberto responds "I'm not that hot" and Chris L is his lovely, warm charming self. And the frozen rose goes to!!! Ty!! Not surprising....he was jumping all over to get 'r done.
Rated R and 'nut' Kasey (thanks Mel:)
Prior to the date...Justin sets out his game plan. But really all he did was talk a big game and then get his cast sawed off...then he threw away his crutches. (I thought Reykavik was supposed to be one of the world's greenest cities). Well not really...there were still a lot of limos and helicopters used in the filming of this episode. So a helicopter came to pick up the threesome and off they went to get a great look at the volcano...hmmm didn't that major eruption happen around the timing of the filming of the Bachelorette ... you gotta wonder how safe landing a helicopter is by an active volcano. Speaking of safety...some bachelorette producer didn't have his/her safety thinking hat on when planning the date. Rated R just tossed his crutches and you are making him walk on ice?? Obviously not physios or occupational therapists consult this program. So they all approach an ice cave with ice furniture..Rated R and Ali go inside. Inside Rated R's performance was luke warm. i don't think they have a connection. Outside the cave was Kasey(guarding and protecting the cave??? thx Mare) So after some one on one..Ali goes outside to Kasey and in a nutshell Kasey explains his tatoo. You know..when Kasey was explaining it..it did sound like he got it to represent his dream of... you guessed it..to guard and protect someone's heart..and he didn't make it sound all about Ali. What made me giggle was that her referred to the 11 'studs' in the shield. Last episodes he referred to them as diamonds. Ali wasted no time to give Justin the rose. Hmm wonder who was going to pick up Kasey??
Cocktail party
Most guys stepped up the charm. Craig is a pretty funny guy..smart too..but you'd think he could have come up with something better then making fun of a guy that was left on a glacier. Kasey had the wherewithal to get a tatoo in NYC and Rated R tracked down some healthcare to get his cast off...maybe he could have got her some type of souvenir...like some lava rock representing their time in iceland..and to tell her he hopes there love-a lasts or something like that. Roberto didn't have to do much..just put a jacket on her and kiss her..Chris N on the other hand...the guy looked stunned on most of their one one one time...and all he could come up with was that he likes Mexican food?
Least dramatic rose ceremony ever.
Chris N...sent home. Hey Mr. Limo Driver...any Taco Bells in Reykavik??
Until next week (in Instanbul!) I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!
Tick Tock on the Clock
But the party don't stop no. Nope...the boys are immediately put to work. They land in Iceland and head to the clock and have 60 minutes to make Ali's heart melt. Some of the poems made my stomach turn. The quick studies learned from the Lion King that one must approach Ali and be near her. That was Kirk and Frank.Poetry be damned. It's proximity that mattered. So Kirk won (yay!! Kirk is kute:)
Shopping and Lobster
First Ali and Kirk got suited up in matching sweaters. You know Kirk could put on a company issue promotional jacket jacket with his name embroidered on the side and he'd still be adorable. So off the two go in matching sweaters for coffee..then dinner (so far great date!) Producers made it sound like Kirk had a sordid dating past but alas it was his college dorm that was sordid..and poor Kirk got sick!! Now that we know his issue was spore related. Phew. Kirk's a keeper!!!
Group Date!!
Well in the US people go mini-golfing...why not go mini horse back riding... on a glacier??? Ali looked like the jolly blonde giant standing beside her mini horses...reins in hand. Those reins were soon handed over to the Ty the cowboy. You can take the cowboy out of Nashville but not the cowboy out of Ty! Giddy up...Ty had the situation under total control. Nicely done....Chris L was a little jealous but I'm sure if they were building an ice hotel..he could have handled that well. So naturally after some glacial horseback riding..the date takes a natural turn to under glacier caving. Anything that required safety equipment is not my idea of a romantic date...but I'm sure Roberto was down with all of it..given his Cirque de soleil like performances in this last two dates. To wrap up and wind down...the group heads over to the very misty Blue Lagoon...it looked so beautiful. Ali happens to have her bikini on under her caving equipment...hmm and in the cave she only complained that her fingers were cold. Ali has to school Frank further that he must be more visible and pay her more attention on the date. Ali tells Roberto that she would never approach him in teh real world..to which Roberto responds "I'm not that hot" and Chris L is his lovely, warm charming self. And the frozen rose goes to!!! Ty!! Not surprising....he was jumping all over to get 'r done.
Rated R and 'nut' Kasey (thanks Mel:)
Prior to the date...Justin sets out his game plan. But really all he did was talk a big game and then get his cast sawed off...then he threw away his crutches. (I thought Reykavik was supposed to be one of the world's greenest cities). Well not really...there were still a lot of limos and helicopters used in the filming of this episode. So a helicopter came to pick up the threesome and off they went to get a great look at the volcano...hmmm didn't that major eruption happen around the timing of the filming of the Bachelorette ... you gotta wonder how safe landing a helicopter is by an active volcano. Speaking of safety...some bachelorette producer didn't have his/her safety thinking hat on when planning the date. Rated R just tossed his crutches and you are making him walk on ice?? Obviously not physios or occupational therapists consult this program. So they all approach an ice cave with ice furniture..Rated R and Ali go inside. Inside Rated R's performance was luke warm. i don't think they have a connection. Outside the cave was Kasey(guarding and protecting the cave??? thx Mare) So after some one on one..Ali goes outside to Kasey and in a nutshell Kasey explains his tatoo. You know..when Kasey was explaining it..it did sound like he got it to represent his dream of... you guessed it..to guard and protect someone's heart..and he didn't make it sound all about Ali. What made me giggle was that her referred to the 11 'studs' in the shield. Last episodes he referred to them as diamonds. Ali wasted no time to give Justin the rose. Hmm wonder who was going to pick up Kasey??
Cocktail party
Most guys stepped up the charm. Craig is a pretty funny guy..smart too..but you'd think he could have come up with something better then making fun of a guy that was left on a glacier. Kasey had the wherewithal to get a tatoo in NYC and Rated R tracked down some healthcare to get his cast off...maybe he could have got her some type of souvenir...like some lava rock representing their time in iceland..and to tell her he hopes there love-a lasts or something like that. Roberto didn't have to do much..just put a jacket on her and kiss her..Chris N on the other hand...the guy looked stunned on most of their one one one time...and all he could come up with was that he likes Mexican food?
Least dramatic rose ceremony ever.
Chris N...sent home. Hey Mr. Limo Driver...any Taco Bells in Reykavik??
Until next week (in Instanbul!) I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Rose Report: Tattoo
Oh my...this show cannot get better. It has never been more entertaining. But this episode was overshadowed by the tattoo.
Did Jordin Sparks (or her songwriters) foreshadow this?Check these (abbreviated) lyrics to her song entitled "Tattoo":
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later I get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger I gotta let my spirit be free
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you (I'll always have you)
How did they (the Bachelorette producers) let Kasey get a tattoo?? It's one thing to let Justin hop 2 miles to the Bachelorette's house...but they let Kasey loose in NYC to get a tattoo? Kasey obviously is a little out of touch with reality...with his random a capella (and off tune) seranades to her at the Night at the Museum. I thought the producers did some type of psychological screening of the candidates for the show...it just seems irresponsible for them to let him do that. Speaking of irresponsible..why didn't Ali cut him loose..just just left him on the shag rug in the middle of a dark museum alone with this thoughts to prove his worthiness to Ali. There should have been an intervention.
The show was overshadowed by the tattoo...seriously..the Broadway performance is just a dim memory. Speaking of that performance....Roberto seems less spicy and more saccharin...from caliente to cheesey...salsa to ketchup...he kinda seems like a performer...maybe even moreso than Justin (Rated R) R. And what is with Ali and Roberto needing to be suspended by wires to find romance. Real life will be a let down to them (heh heh).
Kirk is showing more and more promise. He (and his abs) shone a few episodes ago at the photo shoot on the beach. He was both caring and smooth in encouraging Ali to get some rest and was kind enough to walk her to her room and tuck her in AND he left early not to overstay his welcome. Excellent work Kirk!!
Who didn't shed a tear at Chris L's story about caring for his mom. Chris L seems incredibly kind and compassionate and family oriented. And the story of the rainbows..yikes...I'm reaching for Kleen-ex again.
The Sky is Crying.....a little Stevie Ray Vaughn shout out to Jonathan..I'm so sad Ali let him go...and his parting words..'you didn't even get to know me'. Okay, the guitar playing/seranade was horrible and entirely unnecessary...maybe I just feel a little sorry for Jonathan...I don't know if he was sad because he really liked Ali or that Ali didn't like him...awww Jonathan.....hopefully the weather clears and there are sunny skies in your forecast again...Jonathan made this show so entertaining....hopefully he still has his job in Houston when he gets back.
Who is Chris N?? The dude keeps getting a rose, but does not have one conversation with Ali. How does he keep staying on without proving that he's so into her, will care for her...or worse yet ..guard her heart?? He's clearly a dark horse in this competition...I mean quest for true love and marriage.
So, Bachelors get to cool their heels (and Kasey his wrist) in Iceland next week....why Iceland??? But really who cares...this is the best installment ever!!!
Until next week..... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did Jordin Sparks (or her songwriters) foreshadow this?Check these (abbreviated) lyrics to her song entitled "Tattoo":
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later I get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger I gotta let my spirit be free
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you (I'll always have you)
How did they (the Bachelorette producers) let Kasey get a tattoo?? It's one thing to let Justin hop 2 miles to the Bachelorette's house...but they let Kasey loose in NYC to get a tattoo? Kasey obviously is a little out of touch with reality...with his random a capella (and off tune) seranades to her at the Night at the Museum. I thought the producers did some type of psychological screening of the candidates for the show...it just seems irresponsible for them to let him do that. Speaking of irresponsible..why didn't Ali cut him loose..just just left him on the shag rug in the middle of a dark museum alone with this thoughts to prove his worthiness to Ali. There should have been an intervention.
The show was overshadowed by the tattoo...seriously..the Broadway performance is just a dim memory. Speaking of that performance....Roberto seems less spicy and more saccharin...from caliente to cheesey...salsa to ketchup...he kinda seems like a performer...maybe even moreso than Justin (Rated R) R. And what is with Ali and Roberto needing to be suspended by wires to find romance. Real life will be a let down to them (heh heh).
Kirk is showing more and more promise. He (and his abs) shone a few episodes ago at the photo shoot on the beach. He was both caring and smooth in encouraging Ali to get some rest and was kind enough to walk her to her room and tuck her in AND he left early not to overstay his welcome. Excellent work Kirk!!
Who didn't shed a tear at Chris L's story about caring for his mom. Chris L seems incredibly kind and compassionate and family oriented. And the story of the rainbows..yikes...I'm reaching for Kleen-ex again.
The Sky is Crying.....a little Stevie Ray Vaughn shout out to Jonathan..I'm so sad Ali let him go...and his parting words..'you didn't even get to know me'. Okay, the guitar playing/seranade was horrible and entirely unnecessary...maybe I just feel a little sorry for Jonathan...I don't know if he was sad because he really liked Ali or that Ali didn't like him...awww Jonathan.....hopefully the weather clears and there are sunny skies in your forecast again...Jonathan made this show so entertaining....hopefully he still has his job in Houston when he gets back.
Who is Chris N?? The dude keeps getting a rose, but does not have one conversation with Ali. How does he keep staying on without proving that he's so into her, will care for her...or worse yet ..guard her heart?? He's clearly a dark horse in this competition...I mean quest for true love and marriage.
So, Bachelors get to cool their heels (and Kasey his wrist) in Iceland next week....why Iceland??? But really who cares...this is the best installment ever!!!
Until next week..... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 7, 2010
This episode...Rated R for Really???????????????
Unbelievable. This show was jam packed with emotion, drama and romance(?)
The show started with not too much of a suprise..Ali chose Roberto for a one on one date. She chose for the two to be choppered over (in their yellow helicopter) despite her fear of flying. Those are mean producers. She did have a chance to be reassured by Roberto that it would all be okay. Phew. They made it to their rooftop date safe and sound.Except....they'd have to walk on a tightrope 20 storeys up over to that romantic date. Silly helicopter couldn't land atop the correct building that was set for the date. Hmm..who doesn't want a side order of nausea with a romantic dinner. Roberto is smooth..not only can he salsa and sweet talk (in
Spanish nontheless)...but he also glides with ease over the tightwire and manages to give a Ali a passionate kiss mid-air.
Ali and Roberto had a quick change of clothes (where did that happen?)..the sun is a about to set and Roberto says he wants to watch more sunsets with her. Then they eat and lie down on the rooftop...must have been chilly up there because Roberto kept his suit jacket on...that must have been a bit uncomfortable. But who cares?? Roberto got a rose...not a surprise.
Group date with the Barenaked Ladies
Sounds Rated R...but this group date had the most...Really?????? So the chosen ones get to shoot a video for the new Barenaked Ladies song Run Away..a song about a woman who is running away from love. Hmmm kinda the opposite for Ali....she seems very eager to find true love and to hug, kiss and cuddle her way to eternal love. The guys have various parts in the video and Ali is in all of them. The tormented writer..Frank is first and he's tormented in his part...9 takes in the video and he's slapped by Ali in each of them. John C...steps in the Ali's bubble bath and Ali quickly gets out. Then comes Jonathon...likely THE most awkward moment(s) in Bachelor history. He has a shot where he kisses Ali in the library. He starts the scene trembling...stage fright...maybe..but the guy is on TV daily. Houston..we have a problem. He can't kiss Ali...I think he kissed back of her ear. Anxiety reared it's nervous head and then he started to cry. Yikes. Ali then gives him a pity I mean passionate kiss in the next take. It looked quasi convincing...then he ended it by giving Ali a weird pat on the back followed by a few quick scratches on her back. To juxtapose...Kirk's scene followed...I'm not sure what was on the script but it looked like a scene on a fantasy overnight date. I think the producers yelled 'cut' twice..but the two didn't. It was a bit much. Has Ali even talked to Kirk before this. Not sure..but I know he did look fetching in the photo shoot from the last episode.
The wrap up party happened at a pool (of course). Much of the bachelor/bachelorette happens around pools, hot tubs and watery locales. This party would give Ali a chance to get to know the guys a bit better. Not much happened at the party, well especially for Jonathon who whispered to Ali that maybe they could go somewhere and have their real first kiss. Jonathan really has a junior high vibe going on. (and what was with his white sunglasses...at least he paired them with his green zippered jacket instead of his white one). Kirk gets another passionate kiss from Ali and that sealed the deal and he got the group date rose.
Justin is in the entertainment industry...so no surprise that he's going to make an effort to stand out in the crowd...so Justin sets afoot (literally a foot....the other is still in a cast) and determinedly hops for two miles to spend some QT with the cutie Ali. Does Justin really like her that much? Well it doesn't matter..because Ali is very impressed with him and presses herself against the sweaty wrestler in appreciated. Justin had the forethought to pack pictures (but not a water bottle ) on his journey to Ali. Justin's sojourn to Ali cuts into Hunter's date...
Barbequing Burgers with the Bachelorette
Not only is Hunter cheated with time...but also with the Bachelorette's budget. How much did this date cost. Hmm about $10 worth of food and maybe $2 worth of gas (and a cab ride:) and Hunter had to cook too. Hunter didn't live up to his name...he didn't pursue Ali enough...didn't profess enough affection..didn't make any moves. Ali really likes the moves and pursuit and effort. (not that anything is wrong with pursuit and effort)..but tick tock Hunter...Ali's gotta find love..remember she gave up EVERYTHING to be on this show. So Hunter left roseless in the big yellow taxi.
More and more drama
This series of the Bachelorette has had the MOST DRAMA EVER!!!! And they say the girls are more catty than the guys. We have lawyer Craig R self-proclaimed "bull$&6t detector" assessing that Justin isn't here for the right reasons. They guys, led by Kreepy Kasey, confronting Justin the pool about his reasons for being here. Poor Justin even shed a few tears (yeah right) because he was so upset that everyone was after him. The guys spent so much time talking about this...why didn't they bother to talk to Ali instead of eachother.
Steve tried to take initiative :) and made an impromptu picnic (read champagne and two glasses) with Ali during the cocktail party. That was cute and endearing.
Ali spent more time with Roberto and told him that Justin spent time with her at her house...and she was surprised that noone knew. She hoped that it wouldn't cause problems with the guys (yeah right)
Most surprising at the cocktail party were the choices that she made ...well maybe that's the second most suprising..what was with that dress that she wore? Speaking of outfits...some outfits are called effortless but Jesse's was literally effortless. I know the dude is from Peculiar...but he now has two suits..one he bought for the show and the one Ali gave him..why didn't her wear one??
Why keep Kasey? The weatherman?? What???? Why let Steve go?
This show is too much! Really.
Until next week....I (Really) love this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The show started with not too much of a suprise..Ali chose Roberto for a one on one date. She chose for the two to be choppered over (in their yellow helicopter) despite her fear of flying. Those are mean producers. She did have a chance to be reassured by Roberto that it would all be okay. Phew. They made it to their rooftop date safe and sound.Except....they'd have to walk on a tightrope 20 storeys up over to that romantic date. Silly helicopter couldn't land atop the correct building that was set for the date. Hmm..who doesn't want a side order of nausea with a romantic dinner. Roberto is smooth..not only can he salsa and sweet talk (in
Spanish nontheless)...but he also glides with ease over the tightwire and manages to give a Ali a passionate kiss mid-air.
Ali and Roberto had a quick change of clothes (where did that happen?)..the sun is a about to set and Roberto says he wants to watch more sunsets with her. Then they eat and lie down on the rooftop...must have been chilly up there because Roberto kept his suit jacket on...that must have been a bit uncomfortable. But who cares?? Roberto got a rose...not a surprise.
Group date with the Barenaked Ladies
Sounds Rated R...but this group date had the most...Really?????? So the chosen ones get to shoot a video for the new Barenaked Ladies song Run Away..a song about a woman who is running away from love. Hmmm kinda the opposite for Ali....she seems very eager to find true love and to hug, kiss and cuddle her way to eternal love. The guys have various parts in the video and Ali is in all of them. The tormented writer..Frank is first and he's tormented in his part...9 takes in the video and he's slapped by Ali in each of them. John C...steps in the Ali's bubble bath and Ali quickly gets out. Then comes Jonathon...likely THE most awkward moment(s) in Bachelor history. He has a shot where he kisses Ali in the library. He starts the scene trembling...stage fright...maybe..but the guy is on TV daily. Houston..we have a problem. He can't kiss Ali...I think he kissed back of her ear. Anxiety reared it's nervous head and then he started to cry. Yikes. Ali then gives him a pity I mean passionate kiss in the next take. It looked quasi convincing...then he ended it by giving Ali a weird pat on the back followed by a few quick scratches on her back. To juxtapose...Kirk's scene followed...I'm not sure what was on the script but it looked like a scene on a fantasy overnight date. I think the producers yelled 'cut' twice..but the two didn't. It was a bit much. Has Ali even talked to Kirk before this. Not sure..but I know he did look fetching in the photo shoot from the last episode.
The wrap up party happened at a pool (of course). Much of the bachelor/bachelorette happens around pools, hot tubs and watery locales. This party would give Ali a chance to get to know the guys a bit better. Not much happened at the party, well especially for Jonathon who whispered to Ali that maybe they could go somewhere and have their real first kiss. Jonathan really has a junior high vibe going on. (and what was with his white sunglasses...at least he paired them with his green zippered jacket instead of his white one). Kirk gets another passionate kiss from Ali and that sealed the deal and he got the group date rose.
Justin is in the entertainment industry...so no surprise that he's going to make an effort to stand out in the crowd...so Justin sets afoot (literally a foot....the other is still in a cast) and determinedly hops for two miles to spend some QT with the cutie Ali. Does Justin really like her that much? Well it doesn't matter..because Ali is very impressed with him and presses herself against the sweaty wrestler in appreciated. Justin had the forethought to pack pictures (but not a water bottle ) on his journey to Ali. Justin's sojourn to Ali cuts into Hunter's date...
Barbequing Burgers with the Bachelorette
Not only is Hunter cheated with time...but also with the Bachelorette's budget. How much did this date cost. Hmm about $10 worth of food and maybe $2 worth of gas (and a cab ride:) and Hunter had to cook too. Hunter didn't live up to his name...he didn't pursue Ali enough...didn't profess enough affection..didn't make any moves. Ali really likes the moves and pursuit and effort. (not that anything is wrong with pursuit and effort)..but tick tock Hunter...Ali's gotta find love..remember she gave up EVERYTHING to be on this show. So Hunter left roseless in the big yellow taxi.
More and more drama
This series of the Bachelorette has had the MOST DRAMA EVER!!!! And they say the girls are more catty than the guys. We have lawyer Craig R self-proclaimed "bull$&6t detector" assessing that Justin isn't here for the right reasons. They guys, led by Kreepy Kasey, confronting Justin the pool about his reasons for being here. Poor Justin even shed a few tears (yeah right) because he was so upset that everyone was after him. The guys spent so much time talking about this...why didn't they bother to talk to Ali instead of eachother.
Steve tried to take initiative :) and made an impromptu picnic (read champagne and two glasses) with Ali during the cocktail party. That was cute and endearing.
Ali spent more time with Roberto and told him that Justin spent time with her at her house...and she was surprised that noone knew. She hoped that it wouldn't cause problems with the guys (yeah right)
Most surprising at the cocktail party were the choices that she made ...well maybe that's the second most suprising..what was with that dress that she wore? Speaking of outfits...some outfits are called effortless but Jesse's was literally effortless. I know the dude is from Peculiar...but he now has two suits..one he bought for the show and the one Ali gave him..why didn't her wear one??
Why keep Kasey? The weatherman?? What???? Why let Steve go?
This show is too much! Really.
Until next week....I (Really) love this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Cloudy with a Chance of Meathead
Not even Ali's sunny disposition (oft feigned methinks), could disperse the clouds that hung low over the Bachelorette compound. Ali's quest for true love took a backseat to the hate-hate relationship between Jonathan (the Weatherman) and Craig M (bully that does dental sales). There was a very high pressure system brewing between the two...that I thought would resort to blows. But between Jonathan's monologue of hate-ons for Craig..there were two individual dates and one group date. This is how it shook down.
Individual date #1: The Importance of Being Earnest
Frank gets the first one on one and he's Wilde on Ali!!! Frank's claim to fame is that he's following his passion and he sure does follow. Ali seemed to lead him around..drives the car, hails a cab when she decides the date will go on despite the car breaking down. (don't think Frank offered to see if he could fix the car) then she leads him down the steep rocky hill and had her hand out to support him. Little does she know that will likely be very literal if he continues on in the show. I'm not sure if Frank yet shared that he is back with mom and dad while he pens screenplays. I think he's already written the ending to this show. He seems very much in wildly in love with Ali kissing passionately on the hood of the car. Oh Frank, get a roof (that was from Iron Man 2:)
Group Date: Sun, sand and style (?)
Malibu!!! Woooo-hoooo!!! (Ali said that about 5 times). The guys go on a group date beach front and do a photo shoot for charity. (did they mention the charity?) I felt a little for Jonathan. He felt a little insecure in his briefs that he was handed. Eventually he came out of the changing shack. I didn't think he looked that bad in them. Gotta give it up to the Nivea cream commercial tagline "Beauty is confidence". Arrogance was a few short steps away with Craig working the photo shoot with his brandy snifter, cigar and butt shots. Ty did a very lovely song for Ali and actually sounded pretty good. Save for that odd necklace/choker accessory he had...I started to like Ty a bit.
At the photo shoot wrap up party, the tension continued to grow between Jonathan and Craig M..Jonathan called him a "Category 6 A@#hole". Kind of funny...but Jonathan said that to camera and not Craig..apparently Jonathan didn't want to pull out his brown belt moves as the threatened he might push Craig out of his face.(that was scary talk Jonathan) One thing that was not so threatening about Jonathan was that white jacket. I was perplexed...what was that?? Is there a name style of jacket?? Where does one buy that?? Is it sporty or dressy??
Quote of the date: (from Justin-Rated R-: "Ty pulling out that guitar was pretty fake". That coming from an entertainment wrestler.
Individual date #2: Jesse's girl
Bachelor producers really went overboard to make this seem like a modern day fairytale... the princess comes and picks up the pauper from Peculiar and gets him all dolled up for a fancy night in the big city of Vegas. Was Ali really freaked out on the flight over to Vegas. It seemed a bit like she just wanted a little TLC from cute Jesse. He didn't seem overly comforting, but apparently Ali found him to be so. Once in Vegas, they have a hotel pool to themselves and continue to stumble over conversation...it doesn't get much better over dinner but Jesse seems like a very down to earth guy (who does over spike his hair in my opinion). I think he would have much better if he put less dippity in his 'do. The fun (?) continues when they go to the hottest club in Vegas called Haze and.....there's noone there!!! Well except for a singer..who sang the two a song as they swayed on the dance floor. Ali kinda seemed to throw herself at Jesse. And they locked lips. Can't blame the girl..Jesse's pretty cute.
MEANwhile back at the house, Craig takes some of Jonathan's clothes and does an impersonation of Jonathan. Kinda funny, but Craig has no boundaries...and apparently no sense of remorse (after all he called in sick to work from the bachelor house on a daily basis..this guy is too much!)
Cocktail party...
So much to say...but Jonathan and Craig M had the most to say....... to eachother...but with Ali it's a different story. Jonathan can't string two sentences together when he talks to her and Craig M couldn't be more indifferent to Ali. He didn't even try to tell her how much he likes her (Ali likes to hear that guys like her). She did point out his closed body language and calls him out on being dangerous. Craig M marches back to the house and calls a huddle to see who is the traitor. Justin hops in for some one on one time, then Roberto (sigh:) pulls out his baseball gloves and plays a game of 'catch' with Ali. No worries Roberto..she already thinks you're a good catch....we could tell that last week.
What was with Kasey's illfitting suit? Wow..that was ugly..complete with a burgundy shirt.and why did he take his shoes off when he had one on one time with Ali. This Kasey guy seems a bit odd.
At decision time..didn't it seem like quite a few of the guys had some type of bumps or abrasions on their heads and faces?
Not surprisingly..Craig M was let loose. He didn't seem too bothered. Tyler V seemed a little choked. I'm so glad that Chris L from Cape Cod got to stay..he seemed pretty genuine. Happy that Hunter got another go around...he seems funny. I don't get the fascination with the weatherman...her judgement is a bit clouded...but she was very clear about dumping the meathead Craig. Good on you Ali....
Until next week..I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Individual date #1: The Importance of Being Earnest
Frank gets the first one on one and he's Wilde on Ali!!! Frank's claim to fame is that he's following his passion and he sure does follow. Ali seemed to lead him around..drives the car, hails a cab when she decides the date will go on despite the car breaking down. (don't think Frank offered to see if he could fix the car) then she leads him down the steep rocky hill and had her hand out to support him. Little does she know that will likely be very literal if he continues on in the show. I'm not sure if Frank yet shared that he is back with mom and dad while he pens screenplays. I think he's already written the ending to this show. He seems very much in wildly in love with Ali kissing passionately on the hood of the car. Oh Frank, get a roof (that was from Iron Man 2:)
Group Date: Sun, sand and style (?)
Malibu!!! Woooo-hoooo!!! (Ali said that about 5 times). The guys go on a group date beach front and do a photo shoot for charity. (did they mention the charity?) I felt a little for Jonathan. He felt a little insecure in his briefs that he was handed. Eventually he came out of the changing shack. I didn't think he looked that bad in them. Gotta give it up to the Nivea cream commercial tagline "Beauty is confidence". Arrogance was a few short steps away with Craig working the photo shoot with his brandy snifter, cigar and butt shots. Ty did a very lovely song for Ali and actually sounded pretty good. Save for that odd necklace/choker accessory he had...I started to like Ty a bit.
At the photo shoot wrap up party, the tension continued to grow between Jonathan and Craig M..Jonathan called him a "Category 6 A@#hole". Kind of funny...but Jonathan said that to camera and not Craig..apparently Jonathan didn't want to pull out his brown belt moves as the threatened he might push Craig out of his face.(that was scary talk Jonathan) One thing that was not so threatening about Jonathan was that white jacket. I was perplexed...what was that?? Is there a name style of jacket?? Where does one buy that?? Is it sporty or dressy??
Quote of the date: (from Justin-Rated R-: "Ty pulling out that guitar was pretty fake". That coming from an entertainment wrestler.
Individual date #2: Jesse's girl
Bachelor producers really went overboard to make this seem like a modern day fairytale... the princess comes and picks up the pauper from Peculiar and gets him all dolled up for a fancy night in the big city of Vegas. Was Ali really freaked out on the flight over to Vegas. It seemed a bit like she just wanted a little TLC from cute Jesse. He didn't seem overly comforting, but apparently Ali found him to be so. Once in Vegas, they have a hotel pool to themselves and continue to stumble over conversation...it doesn't get much better over dinner but Jesse seems like a very down to earth guy (who does over spike his hair in my opinion). I think he would have much better if he put less dippity in his 'do. The fun (?) continues when they go to the hottest club in Vegas called Haze and.....there's noone there!!! Well except for a singer..who sang the two a song as they swayed on the dance floor. Ali kinda seemed to throw herself at Jesse. And they locked lips. Can't blame the girl..Jesse's pretty cute.
MEANwhile back at the house, Craig takes some of Jonathan's clothes and does an impersonation of Jonathan. Kinda funny, but Craig has no boundaries...and apparently no sense of remorse (after all he called in sick to work from the bachelor house on a daily basis..this guy is too much!)
Cocktail party...
So much to say...but Jonathan and Craig M had the most to say....... to eachother...but with Ali it's a different story. Jonathan can't string two sentences together when he talks to her and Craig M couldn't be more indifferent to Ali. He didn't even try to tell her how much he likes her (Ali likes to hear that guys like her). She did point out his closed body language and calls him out on being dangerous. Craig M marches back to the house and calls a huddle to see who is the traitor. Justin hops in for some one on one time, then Roberto (sigh:) pulls out his baseball gloves and plays a game of 'catch' with Ali. No worries Roberto..she already thinks you're a good catch....we could tell that last week.
What was with Kasey's illfitting suit? Wow..that was ugly..complete with a burgundy shirt.and why did he take his shoes off when he had one on one time with Ali. This Kasey guy seems a bit odd.
At decision time..didn't it seem like quite a few of the guys had some type of bumps or abrasions on their heads and faces?
Not surprisingly..Craig M was let loose. He didn't seem too bothered. Tyler V seemed a little choked. I'm so glad that Chris L from Cape Cod got to stay..he seemed pretty genuine. Happy that Hunter got another go around...he seems funny. I don't get the fascination with the weatherman...her judgement is a bit clouded...but she was very clear about dumping the meathead Craig. Good on you Ali....
Until next week..I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Lovin' it for all the right reasons
It's baaccccccck! The Bachelorette!!! It is back to being my favourite show ever!! I missed it over these past few months. Ali reported back to work and Jake reported to the dance floor...but Ali had an epiphany..she wants choose love over her job. I didn't know the two were mutually exclusive.
I was a bit iffy about this one...because I'm not sure if Ali was really on it for all the right reasons. Even for a reality show, Ali as a Bachelorette rung hollow. But this season opener was SPECTACULAR! This group of guys are literally and metaphorically a colourful bunch...from the shirt/ties,jobs, trinkets, scrapbooks chivalry, backflips and romantic intentions. They are 25 of the right reasons to watch this show!
Ali looked very cute as usual..odd choice of bling on the black dress. What was up with the backlace (the necklace on her back) and then what was that shiney cluster of her dress. I thought it was her microphone pack...but then I realized she was just bed-ass-led:)
It's tough to keep track of all the guys in the first episode...but some of my faves...
Derek- don't remember much about him other than he could have used some type of blotting papers for excessive shininess and that was the worst fitting jacket I have ever seen.
Hunter's ukele seranade- adorable, funny and clever
Kreepy Kasey's proclamation-that he would be the 'protector of her heart' regardless of how far he goes in the show..how would he make that happen? Perhaps he's the first patron saint of the Bachelorette
Roberto-charming, cute, relaxed and slightly vulnerable. (so far I heart Roberto)
Craig from T.- I heart him for all the wrong reasons..so great for the show...bad tie, bad hair and what an attitude. I think he wants to be the Wes of this Bachelorette. I'm so glad he stayed!!! Hopefully he brought enough Dippity Do and extra hold spray to carry him through.
Kyle ..the mountain man from Colorado..just a man who gave up his gun, auger and live bait to do some huntin' and fishin' for love. The guy says he's from Denver...I think they live in houses and not off the land. Does he just get up in the morning, grab a Starbucks and head for the hills?
Justin-Rated R...his first shot on the show was a shot of his toe cleavage. Poor Jusitn broke his ankle during 'entertainment wrestling'. I don't know about this guy.....hmmm is he here for Reasons of Ratings?
speaking of which...i'm a bit iffy on the weather guy too. Maybe he's on the show to further his career. I did like the sunshine button though.
Jay..That 70s guy....the lawyer that has hair like Craig from TO sans hair product...looked windswept..but far less voluminous.
and last but not least.
Shooter was shot down. Good on ya Ali...you did that for all the right reasons. Why on earth would you tell someone that story? Let alone to millions of viewers???
And that my friends...are some of the reasons that...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!
I was a bit iffy about this one...because I'm not sure if Ali was really on it for all the right reasons. Even for a reality show, Ali as a Bachelorette rung hollow. But this season opener was SPECTACULAR! This group of guys are literally and metaphorically a colourful bunch...from the shirt/ties,jobs, trinkets, scrapbooks chivalry, backflips and romantic intentions. They are 25 of the right reasons to watch this show!
Ali looked very cute as usual..odd choice of bling on the black dress. What was up with the backlace (the necklace on her back) and then what was that shiney cluster of her dress. I thought it was her microphone pack...but then I realized she was just bed-ass-led:)
It's tough to keep track of all the guys in the first episode...but some of my faves...
Derek- don't remember much about him other than he could have used some type of blotting papers for excessive shininess and that was the worst fitting jacket I have ever seen.
Hunter's ukele seranade- adorable, funny and clever
Kreepy Kasey's proclamation-that he would be the 'protector of her heart' regardless of how far he goes in the show..how would he make that happen? Perhaps he's the first patron saint of the Bachelorette
Roberto-charming, cute, relaxed and slightly vulnerable. (so far I heart Roberto)
Craig from T.- I heart him for all the wrong reasons..so great for the show...bad tie, bad hair and what an attitude. I think he wants to be the Wes of this Bachelorette. I'm so glad he stayed!!! Hopefully he brought enough Dippity Do and extra hold spray to carry him through.
Kyle ..the mountain man from Colorado..just a man who gave up his gun, auger and live bait to do some huntin' and fishin' for love. The guy says he's from Denver...I think they live in houses and not off the land. Does he just get up in the morning, grab a Starbucks and head for the hills?
Justin-Rated R...his first shot on the show was a shot of his toe cleavage. Poor Jusitn broke his ankle during 'entertainment wrestling'. I don't know about this guy.....hmmm is he here for Reasons of Ratings?
speaking of which...i'm a bit iffy on the weather guy too. Maybe he's on the show to further his career. I did like the sunshine button though.
Jay..That 70s guy....the lawyer that has hair like Craig from TO sans hair product...looked windswept..but far less voluminous.
and last but not least.
Shooter was shot down. Good on ya Ali...you did that for all the right reasons. Why on earth would you tell someone that story? Let alone to millions of viewers???
And that my friends...are some of the reasons that...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Rose Report: On the Wings of Blah
I don’t know what it is….it seemed so perfect, the setting, Jake’s abs, the tropical locales…but something just wasn’t there for me this Bachelor season. It’s like Jake’s tepid feelings for Tenley. The show seemed perfect…but there was no chemistry for me. I really wish it could have worked out for me..but alas…the show drew to an ho hum close…one of the highlights was hearing the words to On the Wings of Love. That song is a classic.
Meet the family…
So we meet Sallie and Jim (the parents), Laura and Lesley the sister in laws and the two mute brothers.
Tenley…scores a 10 with the family. She looked fetching in her pink number and brought along a lovely floral arrangement. Tenley and Jake both had pink on. Jake’s shirt could have used a press. They LOVE Tenley….and they all think (don’t know exactly about the brothers ‘cause they don’t say much)…but that Pavelka family sure likes to turn on the waterworks. For some reason that is unbeknownst to me, Jake thinks that he and Tenley should jump into the pool right before she’s going to jump into the gaz guzzling vehicle that the average St. Lucian can’t afford to own. Off the soap box and back to the show. So Jake sees if he can tap into Tenley’s playful side and sees if he can take the plunge with Tenley..well he goes first and Tenley follows (of course). She had the good sense to take off her microphone pack. Weirdest moment of the show: Family swim time. After crazy fun lovin’ Jake jumps in, his brothers follow suit…then his mom wades in and his sister in laws too.
Vienna…will she be the crazy glue??
Vienna arrives with a fruit basket wrapped in yellow cellophane. For some odd reason the fruit basket was left on the floor. A bit of a diss to the food gift. Not sure who put it there.
One of Sallie’s pontifications is about the strong role of women in a family. They are the glue. So Sallie needs to see if Vienna will bond with the sister in laws. Vienna is off putting at first..but momma and the sister in laws kept grilling her about her relationships with other girls in the house. That seemed dumb. You’d think they’d ask Vienna about her relationship with her mom, friends or if she has any female role models. To ask how well you bond with women who view this show as competition seemed like momma was lookin’ some drama. Then a peep of wisdom from one of Jake’s bros- “her brutal honesty is an immature defense mechanism”. Whoa you don’t hear word from him then he gets all Aristotle. Then as they say in psychology circles..there was a breakthrough. Vienna’s personality shone and won over the hearts and minds of the Pavelka clan. They heard how much Vienna adored and loved Jake. Then the Pavelka’s felt bad-then cried-then apologized. They judged her, how bad they were. Vienna graciously accepted their apology.
Something is rotten on the island of St. Lucia.
Not really, but it sure smells bad. That zany Jake is going to take Vienna to Sulfur Springs!! Where it smells like rotten eggs!! Then they will roll in and massage eachother with mud and Vienna will write an I love you message on Jake’s abs. But then they wash off in a natural waterfall. Just an average date on the Bachelor. Oh…wait Vienna has dessert and cheese and crackers back at her condo. So after Jake washes up he meets Vienna at her condo. She presents him with her “I promise not to elope again with another guy” promise ring that her dad bought for her so that she promises not to elope again..(huh?). So Jake takes the ring, takes a few moments and says his good bye. He has to prepare for his awesomely awkward date the next day with Tenley.
Kickstart my heart…please??!!!
Next day Jake meets Tenley on the beach where they will go for a snorkel. Back on board the boat…is where the awkwardness begins. You can almost always be ready for an awkward date when one party says..”Hey..are you tired?” Silence and distance in the early stages of a relationship typically means something is amiss. What was missing here was couth, tact and judgment on Jake’s part. He said he was emotionally captivated by her…but that the physical chemistry wasn’t there..not the sexual chemistry..but the physical chemistry. What?? Cue the chirping birds to fill the awkward silence…to which she says…’I think we have heat, don’t we’ and then he responded “it’s building slowly”. Wow. That was telling. So polite Tenley thanked him for being honest. I would have said..if you think there is no heat then get outta my kitchen. But how does one person feel chemistry if the other doesn’t? I think this bachelor journey for Tenley was one of recovery and that she said all the ‘right’ things…but I don’t think she was capable of being that into him. I think she was in love with being in love. Back for part deux of the date at Tenley’s condo..she asked him to clarify again…but I don’t think that needed any clarification.
(In)Decision Time
Wow..Jake had a hard time making up his mind. I think the ring dude wanted to give him advice. Jake still took two rings and had to think about things…shirtless of course. The girls did some thinking in their bikinis too. Some of the deepest thinking happens with a bikini on and some Folgers in your cup.
Long and Winding Road
So the girls are helicoptered in. This is where one wonders if the first girl is the one going home. In the Bachelor early days , the first girls out of the limo was the one sent home..but producers have mixed it up in the past few years so you never know. Tenley’s chopper was first incoming. She looked gorgeous…her long gold dress almost Grecian..perhaps a nod to the Olympics. Chris met her on the landing strip (notice that the not one hair was affected on Chris’ head with all the wind caused by the helicopter). He met Tenley, walked her across the green grass into the house, then told her to cross the bridge, up the stairs and Jake would be waiting. I’m surprised she wasn’t handed a compass and an orienteering map to find him. This whole show is quite a journey. So when Tenley approached Jake, Jake did not look well. It wasn’t just his ugly tie, but he didn’t look physically healthy. Then came the I love you ..but. We gotta give it up to Tenley for her lovely speech to Jake. Her final words to Jake confirmed to me, that this whole exercise was therapy for her. And what she said to Jake is something that quite easily could have become a journaling exercise (or perhaps an interpretive dance)..I want to feel loved, special, appreciated blah blah blah. Her words were polite and eloquent, but I wonder if she really loved Jake..or maybe she’s learned that she needs to appreciate herself.
So that leaves Vienna….Vienna did look lovely in her dress..just wasn’t sure what was up with her Forever 21 earrings…a little much for the dress in my opinion. Jake gives her back the confusing ring and had me thinking that he was not going to pick her….Then he breaks into an I love you and then gets down on bended knee. Vienna was distracted by her diamond and waited about 2 mississippis before she said yes. Because there wasn’t much action after that, the producers put together a video montage, of their journey on the show ..set to the words to On the Wings of Love. (what a song!)
Sorry kids..didn’t stay up for after the Rose….hopefully I didn’t miss anything.
Well…it is bittersweet this last episode of the Bachelor…I hope there is more chemistry on the next episode!!! Until that time….even thought this episode was kinda lame…I (still) LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meet the family…
So we meet Sallie and Jim (the parents), Laura and Lesley the sister in laws and the two mute brothers.
Tenley…scores a 10 with the family. She looked fetching in her pink number and brought along a lovely floral arrangement. Tenley and Jake both had pink on. Jake’s shirt could have used a press. They LOVE Tenley….and they all think (don’t know exactly about the brothers ‘cause they don’t say much)…but that Pavelka family sure likes to turn on the waterworks. For some reason that is unbeknownst to me, Jake thinks that he and Tenley should jump into the pool right before she’s going to jump into the gaz guzzling vehicle that the average St. Lucian can’t afford to own. Off the soap box and back to the show. So Jake sees if he can tap into Tenley’s playful side and sees if he can take the plunge with Tenley..well he goes first and Tenley follows (of course). She had the good sense to take off her microphone pack. Weirdest moment of the show: Family swim time. After crazy fun lovin’ Jake jumps in, his brothers follow suit…then his mom wades in and his sister in laws too.
Vienna…will she be the crazy glue??
Vienna arrives with a fruit basket wrapped in yellow cellophane. For some odd reason the fruit basket was left on the floor. A bit of a diss to the food gift. Not sure who put it there.
One of Sallie’s pontifications is about the strong role of women in a family. They are the glue. So Sallie needs to see if Vienna will bond with the sister in laws. Vienna is off putting at first..but momma and the sister in laws kept grilling her about her relationships with other girls in the house. That seemed dumb. You’d think they’d ask Vienna about her relationship with her mom, friends or if she has any female role models. To ask how well you bond with women who view this show as competition seemed like momma was lookin’ some drama. Then a peep of wisdom from one of Jake’s bros- “her brutal honesty is an immature defense mechanism”. Whoa you don’t hear word from him then he gets all Aristotle. Then as they say in psychology circles..there was a breakthrough. Vienna’s personality shone and won over the hearts and minds of the Pavelka clan. They heard how much Vienna adored and loved Jake. Then the Pavelka’s felt bad-then cried-then apologized. They judged her, how bad they were. Vienna graciously accepted their apology.
Something is rotten on the island of St. Lucia.
Not really, but it sure smells bad. That zany Jake is going to take Vienna to Sulfur Springs!! Where it smells like rotten eggs!! Then they will roll in and massage eachother with mud and Vienna will write an I love you message on Jake’s abs. But then they wash off in a natural waterfall. Just an average date on the Bachelor. Oh…wait Vienna has dessert and cheese and crackers back at her condo. So after Jake washes up he meets Vienna at her condo. She presents him with her “I promise not to elope again with another guy” promise ring that her dad bought for her so that she promises not to elope again..(huh?). So Jake takes the ring, takes a few moments and says his good bye. He has to prepare for his awesomely awkward date the next day with Tenley.
Kickstart my heart…please??!!!
Next day Jake meets Tenley on the beach where they will go for a snorkel. Back on board the boat…is where the awkwardness begins. You can almost always be ready for an awkward date when one party says..”Hey..are you tired?” Silence and distance in the early stages of a relationship typically means something is amiss. What was missing here was couth, tact and judgment on Jake’s part. He said he was emotionally captivated by her…but that the physical chemistry wasn’t there..not the sexual chemistry..but the physical chemistry. What?? Cue the chirping birds to fill the awkward silence…to which she says…’I think we have heat, don’t we’ and then he responded “it’s building slowly”. Wow. That was telling. So polite Tenley thanked him for being honest. I would have said..if you think there is no heat then get outta my kitchen. But how does one person feel chemistry if the other doesn’t? I think this bachelor journey for Tenley was one of recovery and that she said all the ‘right’ things…but I don’t think she was capable of being that into him. I think she was in love with being in love. Back for part deux of the date at Tenley’s condo..she asked him to clarify again…but I don’t think that needed any clarification.
(In)Decision Time
Wow..Jake had a hard time making up his mind. I think the ring dude wanted to give him advice. Jake still took two rings and had to think about things…shirtless of course. The girls did some thinking in their bikinis too. Some of the deepest thinking happens with a bikini on and some Folgers in your cup.
Long and Winding Road
So the girls are helicoptered in. This is where one wonders if the first girl is the one going home. In the Bachelor early days , the first girls out of the limo was the one sent home..but producers have mixed it up in the past few years so you never know. Tenley’s chopper was first incoming. She looked gorgeous…her long gold dress almost Grecian..perhaps a nod to the Olympics. Chris met her on the landing strip (notice that the not one hair was affected on Chris’ head with all the wind caused by the helicopter). He met Tenley, walked her across the green grass into the house, then told her to cross the bridge, up the stairs and Jake would be waiting. I’m surprised she wasn’t handed a compass and an orienteering map to find him. This whole show is quite a journey. So when Tenley approached Jake, Jake did not look well. It wasn’t just his ugly tie, but he didn’t look physically healthy. Then came the I love you ..but. We gotta give it up to Tenley for her lovely speech to Jake. Her final words to Jake confirmed to me, that this whole exercise was therapy for her. And what she said to Jake is something that quite easily could have become a journaling exercise (or perhaps an interpretive dance)..I want to feel loved, special, appreciated blah blah blah. Her words were polite and eloquent, but I wonder if she really loved Jake..or maybe she’s learned that she needs to appreciate herself.
So that leaves Vienna….Vienna did look lovely in her dress..just wasn’t sure what was up with her Forever 21 earrings…a little much for the dress in my opinion. Jake gives her back the confusing ring and had me thinking that he was not going to pick her….Then he breaks into an I love you and then gets down on bended knee. Vienna was distracted by her diamond and waited about 2 mississippis before she said yes. Because there wasn’t much action after that, the producers put together a video montage, of their journey on the show ..set to the words to On the Wings of Love. (what a song!)
Sorry kids..didn’t stay up for after the Rose….hopefully I didn’t miss anything.
Well…it is bittersweet this last episode of the Bachelor…I hope there is more chemistry on the next episode!!! Until that time….even thought this episode was kinda lame…I (still) LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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