Clear the deadwood

This Bachelor is turning the beat around..
Leftover Rose Ceremony from last week.
But .ooo.right..Kelsey is having a fake panic attack..it was like a wheezy cry...I thought panic attacks were flushed chest, difficulty breathing..i didn't know they could take this form. Kelsey was writing on the floor and clutching her chest. Whitney's the fertility nurse's medical assessment of the situation..."it's weird". Thanks Nurse Whitney. But she is a fertility nurse...maybe she only specialized in contractions below the navel.
But Kelsey perked up with some CO2 (Chris and some oxygen)
All good.
Samantha (who's that ) and McKenzie go home. Oh.and Ashley was crying out of nervous ness.but she gets the rose!

Beccas' make-up- Becca is heavily made up..but I wonder what foundation she uses...and she must use some heavy duty primer because her makeup always looks perfect...not amazing...but perfect...
Excellent coverage she she is sans pores.

Despite the US economy taking an upturn...the Bachelor is keeping' costs low..and headin' to Deadwood...Deadwood describes who action packed this episode was.

First one on one.Boring Becca with perfect foundation. She has a great date outfit..loved the sweater and shirt..and she rode the horse like a champ. Then then went to a fire and tried to roast some skewered chicken and vegetables that looked like they were leftover from the last camping date. Did Chris even cooks those skewers. Oh.Becca's a virgin..and she finds kissing awkward..on TV because her dad will see. I forgot what Becca's occupation was..not too bright if she doesn't like PDA..that's what one signs up for on this show.

Becca  gets the rose...

Big and Rich
Didn't they break up?  I'm sure I saw that on a  a CMA show..I guess they don't make TMZ much...my main source of pop culture info.
Well - I thought it was going to be a hoe-down..but nope..more like song writing and singing in a bar where they let a few patrons watch. The girls write songs for Chris..Carly was amazing. Britt was cute..Jade worked through her fears.
I'm pretty sure Big was drunk during this...
After the serenading..they sat around..and Chris had a few one on ones where women reassured him they were interested in him. Sell Sell Sell.
Britt -  I wonder if she showered for Deadwood - got whisked away by Chris where she faked being excited for a Big and Rich concert...The other pretty little tumbleweeds sat back at the bar and waited around and got progressively more insecure..Meanwhile Chris presents Britt with a rose on stage..Britt says that she feels everyone in the concert (all 250 of them)..wanted to be her. The..the
Pièce de résistance....Chris and Britt danced (or more like Britt jumped around) to the song Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy. Nope Britt..not everyone wishes they were you at that time.

Britt got the rose..and a whole heap o tension back when Chris returned with her..Then Chris says he wishes he could bring back the positive joy..tough to be positively joyous when you are being rejected...


Two on one
Kelsey and Ashley....they are more the same than opposite..all three are pumped to ride in a helicopter!!!!! (I don't understand helicopter enthusiasm on the show)...To the badlands..and in a nutshell..they all went to a bad place. They get dropped off near a canopied bed..then they get private time by some dusty rocks. Ashely is mean about Kelsey. Kelsey feels self righteous. chris tells Kelsey (what a ding dong) Kelsey confronts Ashley..to noone's surprrise.Ashley loses it...gets sent packing..by that i mean someone (who apparently has no access to hair, makeup or wardrobe)is dispatched to pick up her suitcases..The girls are shocked and saddened..Then Chris breaks the news to Kelsey that she is gonzo..She keeps her chin up..because above everyone is where she is..I like how Kelsey constantly reframes things..first this was going to be her love story..then she ends with saying that this was her attempt at adventure in love. Then the disheveled suitcase fetcher gets her bags..the girls rejoice!!!


But all this drama means no rose ceremony!!
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!