Monday, July 27, 2009

The Rose Report: Real(i)ty Bites

This is it..the last show :( And as the trailers promised..the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!!!



but first..

Meet the Parents

On the Big Island, Kiptyn and Ed got to meet Jill's parents, Grandma Marjorie and her dear cousin Tara. Ed is very certain about Jillian and that comes across quite clearly. What was unclear was why Ed brought grass skirts and coconut bras for the Polynesian dance party that ensued.


Kiptyn's meeting seemed to be a bit stilted or stunted. He didn't seem to be quite as into Jill as Ed did. When answering the very direct question "Are you in love with Jill?" he answered "I'm getting there a lot quicker than I thought I would". Okay Reid, I mean Kiptyn. I get that sometimes people take longer than others to make decisions. But dude..tick tock...this reality show has timelines.



Last chance dates

When it comes to fashion, Ed is definitely all turf and not surf. What happens to Ed when he hits the beach? His awful green tank top resurfaced..this time he paired it with a short-sleeve pink shirt, along with his short green shorts. What was up with those shorts? And why did they have the superfluous back pocket...kinda like the pajama pocket on men's pajama shirt/pant combos.

Cliches and symbolism are not Lost on this island. Yep...we are assured that Ed and Jill's relationship is hot and smoky..replete with an erupting volcano. Yikes!! We got it. Ed did reassure Jill that he will never leave Jill again. Awww. (I heart Ed!!)



So is Kiptyn going to be trippin' over his words?? Jill and Kiptyn go for a rip around the island on a speedboat..then they dine shoreline. Then they..i mean Kiptyn paddles out on one surfboard with one paddle. Kiptyn says he's falling in love with her..which is not quite saying I'm in love with you. He ends with saying that he would be hurt if he lost her. Hmmm...what would be hurt..his pride?? Dunno..not convinced about Kiptyn.



Decision Day

It doesn't matter if you're a bachelor or bachelorette one thing is for sure. Your room will have a balcony and you'll be filmed waking up then walking out on your balcony and staring out onto the water pondering your fate. The men go shopping for a ring...then we have a last chance to see how ripped Kip is. He jogged shirtless to destress:)Ed, meanwhile takes a stroll and reflects by a reflecting pool. Both men decide to wear purple ties (and for some reason we get to know that Ed wears quite tight blue underwear) I still heart Ed despite his bad outer and underwear choices.

Jill's dress choice for decision day was a bit whimsical, a bit romantic and very bridal.

First out of the limo..was Kiptyn. He walked the plank to Jill's podium and finally told her "I love you." Kiptyn..you snooze, you lose. So back across the plank and to the limo. Kip kept his pride intact by not crying on camera:) In his words "I'm a man, I have to deal with it"....and word on the street is that Kiptyn's the next bachelor.



So just when you think Ed's got it....the drama sneaks in.....and it comes in a red minivan!!

We've heard that house prices have plummeted 66% in the US..but this is quite obvious given how Reid the realtor rolled onto the Big Island. No limo for Reid but a Caravan instead. And when the sliding door dramatically opens, and out gingerly steps...REID!!!! What kind of sneakers did Reid have on?? Keds or tretorn?? And why with the suit jacket?? It's like he metaphorically couldn't decide how to put his best foot forward. He was casual and inappropriate. And how incredibly inappropriate to insert Reid between the Kiptyn and Ed. Then he decides to propose. It seems like one has to do something jarring and dramatic to have Reid pay attention. Thankfully, Jillian said no. Then, figuratively and literally Jillian had to close the door on this relationship (Jill even had to close his taxi door....I think it would be frustrating to be with Reid)

And finally Ed....He looked absolutely lovely in his suit....were his pants slightly short or was he hiking up his pants with his hands out of nervousness???Jillian looked elated yet relaxed when she saw him. Ed enumerated the many reasons why he loved her and graciously said to her that he need to hear that she loved him before he continued:):) I like Ed's sense of self. When she unequivocally stated she did...then Ed proposed and Jill said yes!!!!

The show ended with a cheesey video montage to the Martina McBride song that she was sung for Jake and Jill's one on one date. Oh well....can never have too much fromage on this show.

Hopefully Jill and Ed work out:) If not...I've always loved Chicago:):)

Until next season Bachelor/Bachelorette fans....I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Rose Report: Men Tell All

It's at this juncture (the "Women Tell All/ Men Tell All") of the Bachelor/Bachelorette season that I have mixed feelings. On one hand, this show extends the season and on the other it recycles everything we already know.

So not too much to report..save for a few observations

Was there a sale on tank tops for the studio audience? Lotsa plunging necklines in the audience...or maybe it's just a hot studio???

Why were two very important men MIA on the MTA???Reid and Wes. I guess only by having a previous 'engagement' that you can miss the show.

Never heard so many 'f' words on the show..ever. And not the swear word..but the folksy word for flatulence. Ewww.

Reid can say 'hola' but he can't hula.

Jason and Molly are quite annoying...or should I say the m and m team? Didn't sound convincing that they'd get engaged...but..'they've definitely talked about it'. What was on their matching t-shirts?

What exactly is the 'man code'? I don't know if anyone is really clear. Maybe men convince many people that women are dramatic and complicated...but judging from last night the gaggle of rejected men did not present as being unified by a code. This was the most dramatic MTA ever!!! The Tanners high-fived eachother on their cool names but one is often confused for the foot fetishizing tanner. Jake is convinced of his perfection. Most disagree with him. David still wants to pummel Juan.

The Shot That Was Heard Around the World
I cannot believe how much airtime was given to shot that Juan faked. Who really cares if Juan had the shot or not? It does seem that not drinking with the boys or fakin' it (drinking that is) is a major man code infraction. Juan does seem weasel-esque. Jillian compliments Juan's strength on dealing with the bunkhouse challenges and the best Juan can reciprocate is to capitulate on Tanner P's admiration of Jillians feet. Baseball Mike's explanation of Juan's inability to relate to the guy was that "all the guys here have been on baseball teams or in frats and Juan hasn't". I don't know if that has anything to do with it...or maybe I don't get it b/c I'm not an American.

A few shout outs to the stand outs:
Mike Stagliano..he was so sweet and lovely when he said that he learned a lot about love and about who I want to marry from meeting Jillian..awww.
Most Misunderstood ...David-when he had to explain that he wasn't going to physically harm Juan by saying "when I say I want to beat his (juan's) a$$, I don't really mean I want to beat his a$$ it just means I don't like him"
To the producers ..for the video montage of "Love Don't Come Easy"...that was sooo funny!!!
Funniest line of the night..Pizza entrepreneur Mark calling out Jake for "Pulling a Mesnick"...when Jake was dramatically bent over the hotel railing..chest heaving..being overcome with emotion. Remember last episode when Jason did the exact same thing over a balcony rail???
Silliest contribution by a studio audience member..(when commenting on Wes)..."if it walks like a snake and talks like a snake..that's not a guy you want to date"....huh???
Jillian....she did great..she was genuine and honest and looked fantastic!!
Chris...somebody nominate him for an Emmy category..he did a great job getting the guys to talk:)

This really is the best season ever..it's a series of comebacks..and no..not because Ed's tank tops are reappearing in the finale...and nope..Jake is not doing a fly by and Deanna doesn't have any last minute advice...but Reid..in a minivan!!! Mr. "umm...I can't find the words..am I doing okay?..this is hard for me...." Whatever will Reid say???

Until next week!! I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Rose Report: A low that was no ha ha

It was the Fantasy Overnight Dates part deux!! This time the setting is gorgeous Hawaii. We have Kiptyn, Reid and Ed left to vy for a oui to the date card..oh and for Jillian's heart of course!

Kiptyn: "You put your right foot in , you put your right foot out.."
Poor Jill, at this stage in the amazing journey for true love, she is still unsure about how Kiptyn feels for her..She feels 10% uneasy. It ain't easy feeling queasy. What better way to quell that nauseous feeling than to...do a Ropes Course!! Hmmm it felt like a company retreat to build trust and community. Maybe it made Jill feel better but I had to have a soda cracker or two to settle my stomach from all the kisses of encouragement exchanged on the tight ropes. Then Kip coached Jill up the totem pole..from which they both took the Leap of Faith. Yup..that's what the jump was called..to the trapeze bar. You couldn't have picked a better metaphor for this crazy circus called the Bachelorette. So Kiptyn made it..and Jill didn't...looks like she didn't have the faith, but at least she had a harness:) In keeping with this activity, Jillian wore a jumpsuit to the romantic dinner. The most alarming declaration that Kiptyn made was that "I have one foot in the relationship and one foot out of relationships" Regardless, they both leapt at the fantasy overnight card invite:)


Reid-so hard to read
Looking adorable in glasses only takes one so far..the fact that this guy can't articulate what he feels is getting tiresome. His compliments ring hollow ..when Jill asks him what he wants to do he says " I want to make out" Okay Rainer Rilke he is not...but seriously..that's what he comes up with?? He quickly recovers with " I've seen you, that's all that matters". This guy is adolescent and boring..then it continues to go downhill. Jill has an awesome date planned...he's going to see sides of Maui that he never gets to see....I say foreshadowing for the FOD. But first, they must fly in a helicopter that happens to be flown by an ordained minister!!! Reid doesn't take the minister up on the offer to marry them. Down on the ground, Reid tries to explain how much he likes Jillian by extending his arms out to show her 'how much'. Yup..being cute only takes you so far..I think Jill shoulda let Reid get off the Rocky Mountaineer up in Canada. So perhaps the romantic dinner and some wine will loosen up Reid's lips. Maybe he can rustle up a Shakespearean sonnet and use someone else's words to convey some emotion. Nope. Has anyone noticed that when Reid and Jill have serious talks, Reid always answers when he's chewing? I think he's just hoping that when he talks through his bolus of food that his words might sound intelligible. When Jill starts the 'where would we live talk', Jill starts with saying that she could move to Philly (for awhile). Reid's response...."interesting". Then Reid starts with some more reassuring words "You're really putting the pressure on me" and " you could have given me a kick in the ass in the helicopter" and the best one "I'm indecisive in life". Well, to shore up some certainty, they went for the overnight card....perhaps bubble bath, wine and rose petals help to clarify things.

Ed....Who stole Ed's luggage???
I think that the whole schmozzle of Ed's date could only be due to the fact that he was missing his luggage. The usually well coiffed and appointed Ed showed up to the date in a blue tank top and too short shorts left me befuddled. I mean there's old school, then there's just plain weird looking...and then the flip flops..did he borrow Jill's flip flops??? Maybe not looking debonair took that wind out of his sails. Ed did arrange for mom and dad to meet Jill (sweet). I think someone took Ed's parents luggage too. Mom and Dad wore shirts to match the floral and tropical locale. But enough superficiality...Ed's mom and dad were sweethearts. ..and Ed's dad shed a tear or two. Back on the beach Jill pulls an overnight card from where?? both of their bottoms where really short..but they are both very excited for the FOD. Earlier in the day, Ed professed to the cameras how much he cares for Jillian and that he'd 'pull the trigger'. Well...put the gun away...something goes awry in the date...was it the pressure, the sun (Ed did have quite a sunburn), lack of chemistry or the bad fashion that put a fizzle on the fo shizzle???

The most dramatic rose ceremony ever!!!!!!!!!!
'kay so someone did steal Ed's luggage. What was up with his outfit? The colour combination?? It was like candy striper meets maitre d'. What was Jillian going to do?? Go for Kiptyn "my only flaw is that I lack patience", or Reid who Jill can't communicate with, but she can see it in his eyes or loving and attentive Ed ...but do they have chemistry. Jill wears a long flowing dress that allowed her to sit cross legged on the bench for bachelor talks. She questions Ed about 'that night' and Ed reassures her that she has NOTHING to worry about. Thankfully...Reid is voted off!!!! Did anyone notice how long Reid must of been circling Maui in the limo?? Day turned to night as the producers tried to wrench some emotional profession from Reid. Like water from a stone I tell ya....they couldn't break Reid.. probably b/c there was no significant emotion that he felt for Jill.

Next week..we take a break from Hawaii...and it's the Men Tell All!!!!!!
Until next week...I love this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Rose Report: Hola-tta restraint going on!!

So this wasn't the most dramatic bachelorette ever but it was the most restraint demonstrated in Bachelor/Bachelorette history!!!! Almost everyone was denied to overnight date..well except Ed..but they slept in their clothes.

So Jill and her band of men that she wants to marry are in Spain!!! This is another first in Bachelor history..well the show did go trans Atlantic with the Bachelor (London Calling) and the Italian Prince (remember the Borghese guy??) but Jillian doesn't haven any European roots. Looks like the recession hasn't hit the Bachelorette....or maybe swine flu fears prevented them from any Mexican vacays. It was gorgeous..'cept it doesn't look like Chris got to swing by the announce the final rose...but he did Fed-ex the Fantasy overnight cards.


Kiptyn...So you think you can dance...
Well..Kiptyn didn't think he could..he didn't delude himself.The first time I wish I had HD TV...wish I coulda saw Kiptyn in his tight flamenco pants:) I'm sure Marija and Ricardo wonder if Americans (and Canadians) have any rhythm. Suddenly I'm a dance judge..but didn't Jillian look like she was bouncing and clapping. She seemed really eager to do the dancing..but the girl likes to dance (Oh I heard she was at Wild Horse at Stampede on the weekend...thanks for the tip Carm:)...maybe she should stick to two-steppin'. Jillian admitted her vulnerability about Kiptyn saying "Maybe he is out of my league"...na-uh Jill...his family seems a little snooty and he seems a bit stiff (and not just b/c his dancing pants were too tight)....
So the happy couple scooted off to dinner and dined on some slugs or snails..(shoulda been Wes' meal)....then Jill gave him the I'm not ready to overnight with you yet Kip. Good on ya Jillian..make him spill a bit more. She seemd to dish far more compliments to Kiptyn than he did to her.


Reid..Most time spent with a Spanish/English dictionary
Reid gets and A for effort (I'd give Wes an A for something else...) for attempts to speak Spanish. How very culturally sensitive and aware. Now maybe if could be a bit more sensitive about Jillian. Apparently Reid needs a little push to open up about his feelings. C'mon..first you need approval from your family, then encouragement to discuss your feelings..then he needed consistent reassurance about his ability to communicate..."I'm not good at this stuff..am I or "how am i doing"...Jill had to continually validate this. At dinner he went through his laundry list of her good qualities...and he seemed to lack any emotion. Gosh I was tired after this date. No wonder she had no energy for the Fantasy Overnight Date. Reid you got step it up a bit... So Reid's card was also declined....Looks like these boys aren't getting enough credit with Jill.

oh..one thing about the daytime date..why did they have the picnic on the bench??was there nowhere to sit on the ground???

Ed

'kay..you know this date is going to go well when she frolics in fountains before the date gets going. So Ed and Jill jump onto a carriage and take a rip around Sevilla. Jill lightly grills Ed about leaving her and about all the time that they missed out on (which I think she did strategically to justify extra quality time in the Fantasy Suite). So Ed answers her questions, talks about Chicago..and says he would have taken her....to karaoke??!! What??? Hmmm..I'm guessing he said that to make him sound accessible and plebian. Sigh Ed..you can do no wrong:) So after the carriage ride..Jill and Ed walk through these fountains and start making out..(must be a shortage of hottubs in Sevilla)...the Spaniards are probably thinking "crazy Americans"...
So at dinner, Ed seemed quite confident..proclaimed he wanted kids and would be 'good at it'...I'm sure he would:)..then at first Jill denies the FOD card..but then later when they go 'check out ' the suite she decides they need more time together and they'll sleep in their clothes...Then..Senor dreamy tells Jill "you're my favourite part of Spain" and the camera fades.

sigh....


Wes..Running with the bull-$&*!
Wes is a real piece of ....work. While Reid was brushing up on Spanish, Ed on his ways to win Jill back..and Kiptyn his six pack...Wes made a run to Lammle's for embroidered and quilted Western shirts to prep for his date in Spain. You know that saying..when in Spain, do what you can to look like a cowboy. This guy could write How to Lose a Girl in 5 Easy Steps

Rule #1: When you see the girl you are lying to. call her character into question and make everything her fault .i.e. when Jill greeted him to say she missed him.his response "You say that to all the guys" When Jill asked him why he didn't show affection he says "what if I did and you turned away"

Rule #2: Don't compliment her..instead..highlight any inadequacies she has...i.e. When they were going to go on a bike ride he says "I hope your bike riding is better than your cross country skiing"

Rule #3: Give bad body language..i.e. at their picnic he completely closed off his body language

Rule #4: Bad table (or picnic) manners...i.e. did you see him clear food from this teeth with his fingers....ewwww

Rule #5: Tell her you have a girlfriend!!

Really I could go on...but I gotta give Jill credit. She didn't listen to hearsay..she found out all on her own that he was not that into her... Oh..and why did he keep saying..If you want to clear the table..isn't it clear the air????? This guy can't even get cliches right..well except the bad boy band type.

The least dramatic but most relieving rose ceremony ever!! All I have to say is..
Git along little dog-gy!!!!


Adios Spain and Aloha Hawaii!!!!
Until next week... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Rose Report: The Most Shocking Hometowns

Just as we got off the Rocky Mountaineer last week...we hopped back right back onto the Crazy Train. This was the most shocking episode ever. We had a big reveal, two returns and only four roses to give out....

Philadelphia: City of Bachelorette love???????
Reid wasn't so chilly in Philly...he turned up the heat a little. First he greets Jill with a coffee (nice). They check out the view from atop Liberty Place..then off to see the jury. Seems like Reid has to consult with his family to make decision about girls. Hmm red flag. It's nice to get input..but as was thrice stated...Reid is turning 30 and you should be able to decide who to ditch or hitch all on your lonesome. Reid's family seems nice and there was a birthday cake for Reid!! The candle on the cake was likely an afterthought...looks like they plucked it from a candle holder .


Michael....Jump around Jump around jump up jump up and get down
Wow does Michael get excited about EVERYTHING!!!! He jumps into his house and then to see Jillian. I love the enthusiasm. After this hometown...I think Michael will have no problem getting down on one knee. Michael is so smitten. The hometown visit was a week dull. I did like the Stagliano family tradition of "Question for the table"...nice way to stimulate conversation.Perhaps the least surprising event of this whole show was that there was a family dance-off. They seem like a very loving family...Jillian even left with a parting gift.. But...the departing kiss from Michael..was weak.

Kiptyn...is Kiptyn the new Jake???
A new Mr. Perfect blew into the hometowns..and that man is Kiptyn. Jill is nervous as she enters the perfectly appointed home. His mom and step dad lead her outside then point off the cordoned off hot tub. Jill handles the jab well. Then they subject her to a lasagna test. Jill has a hot dog test...and they have a lasagna and wine pairing test. Well la dee da. She passes.....but I didn't get what criteria she was judging the lasagna by. Then Kiptyns mom says that only Grandma drinks the crappy wine. Not nice. Then his mom asks her some convoluted questions about what she would change about herself and chastises Jillians statement about working for happiness. In the end, Kiptyn's mom likes Jill. Phew. Jillians got that last laugh..I guess when her and Kip cut through the yellow tape and slipped into the hot tub...all under Eve's watchful eye. That was a really odd moment..not as odd as Jesse's mom's dancing...but that's another hometown. So the camera fades out to Jill and Kiptyn having a dip in the hottub with the Caution tape fluttering in the wind...foreshadowing perhaps???

Jesse....The Emotional Ice Cube??
Now Jesse likely made Jill feel more at home..just like she's back in Peace River..he rumbles in on a John Deere...then they jump in the tractor and Jill hops on his lap. Nice looking scenery. Dinner time on the farm...we meet Jesse's mom, dad and brother.Egge shege dre (Cheers in Hungarian) All seems good then Jacob (whose last haircut was about 3 1/2 years ago) started to talk. Yikes..he had a really chip on his shoulder saying to Jill..you guys (meaning women) are expensive. That was his response to why he's not currently in a relationship. His eloquence continued when Jacob further questioned Jesse outside.."So do you love this chick?" and "She's a cuteness" then Jesse .."she's a honey boo bear" And then the truth!! Jacob admits he's jealous!! It became quickly apparent why Jacob doesn't have a girlfriend when he spoke with Jillian..Jacob " So have you guys been naked yet??" Jill assures him..it doesn't happen 'that fast'. To add to the weirdness..there was family rock band..without the video game. Jillian and mom arms around eachother's waist..Mountain man I mean Jacob on guitar, Jesse on drums and Dad on guitar too. Mom channelled her inner Shakira and her hips didn't lie. Jill jumped right into the action and rocked out with the Kovacs. Looks like everyone got into the sauce. Sometimes those things shouldn't be caught on tape.

Wes...Austin...we gotta a problem..

Wes' hometown is in Austin, Texas and Jill (as well as the international audience of Bachelorette viewers) get a surprise!! Everyone in the viewing audience and Jill gets to meet his band and hear two songs!!! What a treat!!!!! This was not a shocking part of the most shocking episode ever. Jillian looked very country-ish in her lucky red date boots, white eyelet dress and short jean jacket. Not sure what Wes' band is called but we hear two soon to be chart-toppers.. "You still git me like you got me back then" and "Love Don't Come Easy". What I don't git is why Wes is still in the Rose Race. But ...maybe not for long...because Jake is coming to Jill's emotional rescue. Jake flies in (not sure if he flew the plane into Austin or if he was just wearing his pilot get up for effect). So Jake is back...who wears his heart (and sunglasses) on his sleeve.

Meanwhile...Jill is back from the amusement park and is freshening up for dinner with Wes' family and she gets a knock at the door. To her surprise..it's Jake. She gave him a "I feel sorry for you" tinged "Jaaake..how arrrre you???". Jake sits her down and breaks the news. Wes has a girlfriend!! Jill is surprised...then she cries. Jake says he couldnt live with himself if he didn't let her know. He tells her to call him if she needs him..he happens to be staying in the same hotel.

Wes saunters down the hall a few minutes later, coming to pick up Jill for the date. I'm surprised he didn't just park in front of the hotel and lean on the horn expecting her to hear it and run down to his truck.When Jill confronts Wes....he is completely unconvincing..and Wes does some classic deflection and makes it Jill's problem that she believes what she wants to believe, then off to Jake saying that he's just upset for getting kicked off this show. He also says "I'm not that good of a liar"..."Bring him (Jake) out..I don't care". I think Wes was saying that he didn't care. And Jake happens to have a room just a few doors down (this show really is too much). And after Jake's numerous requests for Wes to look him in the eye..Wes couldn't look him in the eye. Then Wes said "She'll always be my girlfriend"..what does that mean?? After Jake says his piece he leaves the hotel room. Jake takes this rose business seriously and is overcome with the emotion of it all...he pulled a classic Jason (last season's bachelor) move of chest heaving sobs against a guardrail in the hotel hallway. Maybe Deanna could come to his rescue. Seriously..the most dramatic episode ever. But no...we're not done with Wes. Jillian decides to go ahead and visit his family. Jillian is seriously looking at Wes with rose-coloured glasses:)

One thing that was said at the dinner table was that other guys were jealous of Wes...but they did not deny that Wes had a girlfriend. Jillian was looking to Wes' mom to allay her fears of his Casanova ways. Jillian seems convinced that Wes wants to be loyal...I didn't hear anything from the family to support that. As Jill and Wes had some time together...Jillian had to initiate the contact...and Wes...couldn't put down his beer to give her a hug. Maybe it was a Bud light with lime.

The best surprise ever...ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While Jill is in her hotel room recovering from the shock and drama of the last hometown, she is recounting to the camera that she can't handle any more surprises..and then...a knock at the door. And it's ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ed's back from Chicago and he had better offer up some deep dish-ing out of feelings to get back o the show. As elated as I am to see Ed back...didn't his and Jillian's conversation seem very stilted or staged???...they both looked like they were trying to suppress smiles. I had a feeling he was coming back...it's my finely honed Bachelorette intuition.Whatever the case..Ed looked very adorable in his pink shirt and his purple argyle sweater and I'm happy to seem him in all his Ed-ness.

The Rose Ceremony
Jillian pulled out a buttercream number for the rose ceremony. Clearly she chose this colour to reflect her sunny optimism in love....because.....she picked Wes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What the????? Poor Michael was heartbroken..he had the sweetest adieu in Bachelor history...but I really think he'll dance away the pain..and Jesse...well...hopefully his odd brother doesn't cloud his views on love and women. But sigh....she did choose Ed!!!!!!!
And in other exciting news...they're off to Spain. Too bad Juan wasn't around still..he finally could have used his Espanol. Can't wait to see Wes in his western tack bombing around cafes in Spain.
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Rose Report:Lay it on the line

All aboard the Rocky Mountaineer!! In this week's installment of the Bachelorette, the producers confirmed Canada is cold, we need special footwear to walk over all that snow..and even though we don't live in igloos..we have dates on ice sculptures.

But how apropos...the journey to love can be rocky...and our Bachelorette got serious..and asked the tough questions.

Still feeling derailed by the departure of Ed..Jill picks Robby for a one on one. She wants someone to make her feel better.

Robby-the little Bachelor that couldn't
Things seemed to be looking up for Robby (inventor of the Rosmo), he had the first one on one date, Jill loved his energy and the fact she felt 5-10 years younger with him. Well after they spent some QT trying to flip and balance martini shakers, they settled in for a shaky dinner. (Did anyone feel slightly nauseous trying to watch them eat with the train rocking back and forth). I'm not sure if it was the meal that didn't sit well with Jill or the fact that life with Robby ain't no gravy train. See, Robby's between jobs and doesn't really know what he wants to do with his life. Whuh????? You're on the love train Robby..to true love, marriage....Well and Robby comforted us with.."love has no age and love has no job" Huh??? Not good enough to assuage our Bachelorette...and he's kicked off the train..don't let the door hit your caboose on your way out. Where did she leave the poor guy anyway?? Don't think you can get a limo out in them there parts. Hopefully someone told Robby to watch out for cougars...those cats get vicious sometimes...or so I read in the papers:)

Jill politely waved off Robby..as did the other Bachelors. As the train snaked through the mountains, Wes slithered over to Jillian to comfort her . Eww Wes annoys me.

Group Date: All abored to Emerald Lake
This gem of a date was supposed to help Jill gather some insight to help bring her closer to the prize at the end of this competition...but if anything it just set the preconceptions in stone...this date was one big yawn....so this is what happened:
-Jake: Golly Gee!! Jake snuck in a cuddle when he found Jill hiding in the snow. Jake continues to say all the right things..and darn it ..according to Jake "when I love, I love so hard".
-Tanner really wants Jill to feet I mean meet his parents..Tanner still likes Jill's feet and he got to massage them. Later he shows Jill her underwear to set himself apart.
-Wes is railroading Jill. Guess what?? He's on the show for his career!! The shock!!
-Kiptyn and Jill kiss..they have chemistry..yup we got that a few episodes ago.
-Jesse...gotta say...I'm liking Jesse more..maybe b/c Ed is gone
-Michael...he's still got it bad for Jill..he broke (not danced) but down when Robby was dismissed by Jill. I dunno if he's feeling pressure or if he's worried Jill doesn't like the 25 year olds.

Jill channelled her inner shumka by wearing her red boots on this date. Didn't Jill's grandma say she wanted to find Jill an nice Ukranian boy from Peace River??? Maybe those are her lucky date boots.


Last one on one....Reid is one letter short of being weird.
I always thought Reid was adorable..but what a weird date. First Reid wanders the rail cars to find strangers to seek advice...should he wear glasses on the date..then the conductor give Reid some rules of conduct on telling the person that she is special (actually good advice:) So Reid ditched the glasses and they snowboarded, then had a cocktail alfresco atop some ice furniture. Reid gave his insight about why people have red ears.To turn up the heat, the couple went inside for something to eat and he freaked out about the fondue. So Reid is a little freaky about food safety (understandably..E. coli and salmonella ain't no laughing matter), then he emphasized how him and Jill are different. When Jill was giving Reid the rose, he kept his reclined position and didn't seem to show much interest in getting it. I don't know about him.

Rose Ceremony: What a twist!!
The Rose Ceremony was a nail-biter. Would Wes' lyin' cheatin' two -aced double dealin' mean mistreatin' heart be revealed??? Would Jakes undying like for Jill be requited??? Would Jill's open toed sandals send Tanner P in a downward spiral?? Would Michael's earnestness be rewarded with a rose?? The drama. Jill pulled Michael in for an emergency meeting where Michael declared that he's never had a one night stand (awwww) and that he 'lights up like a lightbulb' when he talks about her. Well that sealed it...Tanner P got the boot and she sent Jake packing. Jake is shocked!! Well...the way Jake sees it that nice guys finish last.

But what's going to happen next week??
Jake comes back?? and is Ed coming back???? Is Jill finally going to see through Wes (and his band??)!!
It's going to be most dramatic rose ceremony ever!!
until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Whistle(r) While You Work

...to find try love. There was a lot of energy expended in this episode. Ziplining, skiing, snow shoeing..no wonder BC has he lowest incidence of obesity in the country. Likely the most physically active episodes in Bachelor/ette history..not to mention the energy Jill spent trying to figure out who had a girlfriend. No mention of the Olympics in this episode, but this is the greatest number of episode minutes of the bachelorette in a hoodie...coulda been sponsored by Aritzia.


Let your backbone slide...
First one on one date went to breakdancing and ever hyperactive Michael. Ziplining through the mountaintops, Michael cleverly draws a parrallel of this activity to marriage. You need to commit to the activity then jump...hmmm. dunno...ziplining is a smooth ride that comes to an abrupt end. Maybe Michael should stick to romantic declarations.."I just want to eat spaghetti with Jillian", "I'm a cheesey ass hopeless romantic if a girl kisses me on the mouth" or maybe Michael should stick to busting moves. Part deux of the one on one is a romantic date surrounded by wine bottles (wonder why this wasn't Jesse the wine makers one on one date). Regretfully Michael recycled his illfitting purple button down shirt (that was unbuttoned and the ill fitting jacket). Jillian likes Michael b/c she makes him feel 19 (maybe b/c that matches his maturity level). Jillian says Michael reminds her of a puppy..yeah.I say Jack Russell terrier..but this is something endearing and sweet about Michael.... My fave quote of Michael's so far "Oh my awesomeness" ...not sure if he is making a declarative statement about himself or referring to a deity...maybe the guy has more layers than I'm giving him credit for. He is kinda is Jim Carreyesque.



Group Date: Jillian gets snowed day

Jillian is adorable, adventurous, kind, sincere, refreshing and kind...but she ain't no Sherlock Holmes. Jillian takes the boys snowmobiling and pauses to interview a few of them atop a snowmobile. When is she going to deduce that Tanner P has no concrete evidence of anyone having a girlfriend. Robby Rosmo gives gives her some soft answers about his life goals. Then there's Wes...who is getting brash about his declarations about being on the show. He comes out and says that his sister signed him up to get some publicity because of his upcoming CD. Jillian assures him that they have a connection. I guess one sees what one wants to see and believes what one wants to believe. Jill does see though that Ed is being a bit distant. Ed's got a lot on his mind..like his job. Sigh..so responsible. So Jill gives him a rose so that he stays awhile...career be darned...Jill likes him so he agrees to stay. After awarding the rose to Ed, they get on the sled and slide down a hill.Aww yes..the Bachelorette is indeed a slippery slope.Cutest quote of the group date..from Reid "You smell like snow and flowers". Awww shucks Reid. How deliciously charming.



Jesse's Girl?

I dunno about this Jesse guy. It all started in the first episode of the Bachelorette when he said he made "love juice". Hmmm. Anyhow.. I doubt his sincerity. So Jesse gets the second one on one date with "Jilly". Jesse and Jill board a snow plane (only to share one seat) and fly to a glacier. Breathtaking. Jesse proclaims that this is his best day ever (2nd only to his sixth birthday when he got a Tonka truck). Then he says he'll never forget Jill. Well, Jillian is fantastic, but being on 8 episodes of a primetime reality show would likely be unforgettable I do think. Then the body language throughout the date was telling. Jillian would always lean into Jesse. It did seem to be all about Jesse..but he did compliment Jill..about her voice. Hmm...he's got a thing for Jill's voice. Maybe Jesse's spent too much time with Tanner P. And, why would the wine maker be drinking beer on the date. Didn't seem to add up to me.


Back at the Fairmont property, adorable Ed has to talk to Jill. Well looks like Ed needs to go back to work. Jill cries. Ed is stoic. Jill cries again. Ed walks her out of the room..(then I think he locks himself out of his room), then Jill gets on the elevator..then cries again. She then takes a sad, pensive gondola ride then for a short hike...walking symbolically by the inukshuk ....yes..our Jillian has to navigate through this crazy yet amazing journey we call the Bachelorette. Godspeed Jill.

My finely honed Bachelorette intuition tells me that Jill hearts Ed. When Chris has a heart to heart with Jill in the deliberation room, Jillian breaks down again..but doesn't admit that she loves Ed. She does say that she doesn't need a cocktail party tonight. Well if Jill can't have dry eyes, she may have a dry night. Or maybe she wanted to get out of that silvery floor length dress sooner than later. Wow what a crazy dress that was.


Well with Ed keeping his rose (maybe, fingers crossed, he'll change his mind and pop up again???), that means there is only one to eliminate...Sadly it wasn't Wes that hit the windy road. He eloquently accepted his rose with heartfelt "mmmhmmm"And it's Mark the pizza entrepreneur that gets cut. I wish for Mark that he recovers from all the cheating he has encountered in his dating life..and hopefully he gets a piece of the amore pie sometime in the future.

Until next week (and I hope hope hope that Ed comes back!!) I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!