My favourite show- beyond a reasonable doubt

Since Rachel is all about keeping' it real and 100...
This, for real, is my favourite show. Ever.
I mean I love Master of None, the Mindy Project and Narcos....but this show..top shelf. The ritual, the dating, the feelings, the posing...it doesn't seem to get old. It gets cliche...but it doesn't get old.
I'm not sure if Rachel is my fave....she says she's sassy and classy..but when she says "this ring finger is ready"...I feel a little ill...those feelings continued when the pre-show pep talk with her 'squad' from Nick's season telling her she should get the fairy tale she deserves. Raven was getting teary eyed..maybe 'cause she thought this shoulda been her. Maybe because she ate crow last season..so close Raven.
Are Nick and Vanessa still together???
We need to focus..just as Rachel says she will...because she didn't put enough focus on that are of her life.But Back to the mansion..where we hope Rachel finds love in a hopeless place:)
(Rachel kinda reminds me of Rhianna).

Some of these men are SO SO SO adorable. Some are very so so.
First..
Let's start with Kenny. Maybe because I'd love myself some GSP, but Kenny the wrestler is so cute and he seems so loving toward his daughter. I am picking him as my top 3 in my Bachelorette fantasy pool..not that I think he's most suited to Rachel..i just love Kenny to pieces:) lol to he's seen a lot of rings in his life..and hopefully he'll see one with Rachel...even his dumb joke was fantastic.

Jack...oooo...so sad his mom died in high school...i liked that he thinks Rachel is special (Rachel will like that too)

Alex....I was liking the meat head/nerd combo..it's dreamy actually..but the 'talk' his mom had over skewered meat was a bit off putting. I thought it was funny that his mom told him that the girls kiss too much (they do)...but the dangly raw chicken..eww. No wonder there is a job for food stylists. Make that raw, salmonella infested chicken look pretty.

Mohit...was a strike out..i loved that he was a Bolly wood dancer and had a dance party in the living room with family...that looked super fun..but him at he Bachelor mansion..

Lucas...the waboom guy..all that head shaking is going to mess up his inner ear. What is whaboom...i think women like mystery...but this guy's a straight up ding dong.

Okay..the moment Blake said he was a nutritionist...he was on my no list. Even though he came in with a  marching band and his snare. I don't think that snare will help him catch Rachel.

Diggy...he's got fashion and sneakers and a cool nick name..i don't see him lasting.

Whoa..we need a food stylist and decorator on this episode..what the what was going on in Josiah's home...was that place condemned? Then the shots of him doing 3 push-ups and jogging...i don't think Josiah is a runner.


So we got some back story...the the limos roll in.
Let's talk about that dress though. Too many elements and not enough natural fibres were harmed in the making of this dress...so many straps, holographic, shiny, white, marbled, mermaid meets debutante. Well...i guess she's kinda debutante-y in this episode. Why do those dresses have to be so much? The guys seem to like it..one of them yelled 'holy hot damn' in the limo.

That's funny. Must use that line.

Okay. I will. With Peter. Holy hot damn he's cute..and it's not just his gap in his teeth. SO SO Cute. I"m picking him for final 3.
Josiah...she didn't look that thrilled when he came out of the limo..but I loved his..see you later litigator comment...That made me lol. Wish there was a cute dietitian greeting. Not much rhymes with vegetable.
Bryan. cute..and asks her "have you dated a Colombian" she says no..he says something Spanish. Which is attractive...Maybe I haven't dated the right Colombian..but i'd say it's not so caliente. (Who names their Colombian kid Bryan?)
Kenny...he kissed her hand..
Rob the law student...i'd say he was an instant no. Him admitting to playing the Bachelorette fantasy pool..i think he seemed more like a fan of the show than looking for love. He said "I like that she is jovial". That made me lol.
Iganacio...while I love a guy with a lot of vowels in his name...he seemed a bit insecure to me..and his shoe game was off...or it's so fashion forward that I'm not seeing it.
Iggy..cEO has sneakers...
We had some medical professional two doctors who seemd unremarkable
Blake K..is a marine veteran..I need to ask my sister which ships were used in recent conflicts....(maybe I should watch the History channel more than catching every season of this show......)
Brad the male model literally broke the ice with large hammer. The best line of the night was when he walked in and one of the guys announced. "Thor's here". I lol'd very hard at that.
Dean...the start up recruiter..his jacket seemed so small. There's a skinny suit...then there's the 'my jacket it too small suit"
Demario...(again nice vowels:) is an exectuive recruiter and she was warned by a 'squad member" that she heard from a friend's friend that he's not here for the right reasons...tsk tsk. such gossip. He told her he's looking forward to moments with her. Then again..that might be foreshadowing that the lifespan of their relationship will be mere moments..
Fred..what was up with Fred..they had a past..of her disciplining him..but not in a good way..whah Rachel..when Rachel tries to be racey..it falls flat.
Who annoyed me more than the 'nutritionist'/aspiring drummer...the tickle monster. I dunno if it's because I hate tickling..or that he can't come up with a decent catchy title...i woulda sent him right back to the limo..if it was up to me.
Lee...confession...when I see singer/song writer i equate that to wrong reason . Like wrong reason to be on the show....for the purposes or Rachel..but maybe right reason is for him to get some recognition. Dude..you should have tried out on the Voice.
Holy hot damn again..Adam...i loved the real estate agent..not his creepy doll AJ..but there's something about Adam.
holy hot damn x3..Matt...I do heart penguins...i didn't know they mate for life..they are my favourite animal (no didn't watch the documentary..and had to learn they mate for life on the Bachelorette)..but I could tell Matt was cute. I say YES to Matt..and YES to the penguins!
When Jamey (yes that's spelled correctly) said to Rachel "this dress is ridiculous"..he meant that as a compliment?? Right? I mean ..i think it's a ridiculous dress...but not in the  that dress is 'sick' way. More the how ridiculous is defined Merriam Webster as opposed to Urban dictionary.
All I could think of when I heard Jedidiah's name...was Mariah Carey's "Honey" lyrics..."Mariah..on fiah"...not even sure what Jedidiah's story is.

That was a very lonnnngggg line up of men...but I think a lot of them will come up short.
At the cocktail party Whaboom was ridiculous (Merriam Webster), Josiah's confident proclamations made him sound less confident the more he spoke. Demario's first question to her was "n sync or bsb? Rohit looked great in his suit..but that guy was weaving and tilting. Blake the trainer/nutritionist/drummer was calling out Whaboom. The fact that Blake couldn't see the futility of that or that it was a waste of his breath..spoke volumes. Bryan (the Colombian) pulls her aside to tell her he's 37 and he's very serious...then he kisses her. With what seemed like more sucking power than the vacuum that Nick was walking around with. I think they had chemistry..but that kissing..had to avert my eyes..was embarrassed for both to them. But that sealed the deal..he got the first impression rose:)

The others were handed out to

Peter (YAY YAY YAY)
Will
Jack (adorbs)
Jamey
Iggy (why?)
Eric
Demario
Jonathan
Bryce who accepts the rose (with honour) ??
Alex (cute:)
Kenny (go Kenny!)
Dean (not sure why)
Matt
Anthony
Brady
Josiah (phew...there woulda been tears)
Lee-singer
Diggy
Fred (did the producers want her to keep him)
Adam-YESS
Blake -eww

Milton was sad..he didn't get to show his outfits..
this is going to be a great season!!!
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!

Plodded to a chilly romantic conclusion

So they are in a place called Rovrenini...or something like that..it sounded like Bimini.
The Viala family come to Finlad to mope  meet the final two.

Someone get that family some therapy. They keep re-hashing Nick's past while they sit in a sad circle.
The first shot of Nick's mom..she looked like she was wearing a reindeer vest or took a wall covering and fashioned it into a vest.

Rovremini (sp?) is apparently where Santa lives.  Perfect that this reality show is set on location where Santa lives...just to keep everything super real.

Sad music plays as Vanessa's vehicle approaching..is this foreshadowing or the producers trying to throw us off. Vanessa states she loves Nick..but is asking Nick's dad if love is enough...seriously..is there a psychologist in the house? Nick's dad starts crying..Vanessa doesn't do anything to comfort the dad. Maybe she's not emotionally intelligent? Where's Taylor when you need a counsellor?


Raven comes for a second  visit..they all have emptiness in their hearts...Raven states she's really sure about Nick.now i'm not sure about how sure she is..i wonder if she just isn't a critical thinker.
The family hopes Nick isn't blindsided.

The both have their last 1:1 dates.
Vanessa's is heavy..she cries.even though she got a present from Santa.
Raven seems delighted by everything Nick. Even when Nick tells Raven he cares about both women so much.

i feel that nick needs someone middle ground between Vanessa and Raven.

Decision Time...
Neil Lane comes a knowing. Nick was a little light on the selection of rings. I guess he was tired of schlepping all those rings for Nick...He doesn't even put them on a velvet display box. It's like "would you like overpriced/overvalued setting #1 or #2?

Nick picks a ring...but is he going to pick a woman?

It's proposal time..who gets out first...but Raven!!!!!! She said she didn't believe in fairy tales but she kinda had a Frozen style dress and a cloak that you'd see in a Disney movie. Chris H meets her in the cloakroom and removes her cloak before she goes to the room where Nick is waiting....
to reject her!! Whah??? I really didn't think he was going to choose Vanessa...it all seemed so heavy with Vanessa. She climbs in to the vehcile..she left her cloak behind..and starts ruminating how love doesn't work for her..and what if noone wants to love her...and not a peep about missing Nick. Fly Raven fly.

Now while Vanessa was getting ready she was remarking that she was unsure of getting engaged. Then why did she put her 1/2 fur jacket on and hustle to the proposal shack...Nick says some nice things to her, she says some nice things back..and he proposes..and she cries..YES! She puts on her fur jacket and they go on a little horse drawn sleigh ride in the cold.

Well...that was chilly...

Speaking of chilly..the air between Vanessa and Nick was not quite Frozen but it seemed  a bit frosty.
Vanessa kept saying "at the end of the day we love each other and we are working through this". It sounds a bit like breaking rocks...Not sure if the crowd was really feeling Vanessa..when she announced she would do charity work for special needs children noone really clapped..and she didn't look thrilled when she said they'd be getting married in the states.

Yeesh...if they are having such a hard time in the beginning...will this last?? Who knows..all I know is
I LOVE THIS SHOW...

and i also know the guys that Rachel met so far were super awkward. especially the guy who said he was never going back after black..
hopefully there are 21 other more promising guys..she seems way more eloquent that the 4 that appeared..

Laps around Lapland, Core Values, Naps and Let's make America Great again

Speaking of naps, i think my butt fell asleep after being glued to the couch for 3 hours.
THREE HOURS.
We are back at Lapland..where Raven proclaims "Nick is really good at what he does"..and she skips around town and high fives people and kisses inanimate objects.
Like a female Viagra commercial.

We have two dates left.
Rachel-well.we all know that Rachel is going to be the Bachelorette..so not that interesting a date to watch. All the women wore toques with big pom-poms which validates my toque with a huge pom pom. But Rachel and Nick go cross country skiing...and then go for a reindeer ride. With reindeer that looked like they had their antlers strapped on.
Nick spends the night...he makes breakfast and then says "I have to pack up and get ready" ..for another date. This show really must be crazy making.

Vanessa.
Vanessa has core values. That is clear. What they are is unclear. All I know is that she has family dinner on Sunday. Does that mean her core value is not cooking for herself on Sunday.that she only spends 3 hours with her family on Sunday? Nick says he's not traditional and isn't sure they will jive but later says he likes that she has values, but that compromise is important and he didn't have it in his last relationship (i wonder if it was with the woman he ran into in Wisconsin). I'm betting that Nick is trying to say he doesn't wan to be bossed around but is prone to it. Oh, one of her values is that being engaged is like being married..she only wants to do it once.
Their date involves alternating hot and ice baths. Kinda like Vanessa..she's hot and she's cold, she's yes and she's no...we're still not sure if she's in or out.

She is in for the Fantasy overnight date AND for telling Nick that she loves him.
Why did Nick have such a big pocket his sweater..it was like a cargo sweater. Speaking of sweaters..Vanessa wore a belted sweater that looked like a blanket with an attempt at cinching at the waist. Not flattering..holy smokes..Vanessa does looking smoking hot in a Finnish one piece. They are both patriotic and having discussions about who would move. Nick said he'd do anything for the woman he loves, but he's a proud American.

They spend the night together..Vanessa is in love and she says dreams come true.

Rose Ceremony
Raven wears a black dress...pretty uninspiring for someone who owns a clothing store. (why was she holding a white piece of paper?)
I'm not sure what Rachel wore except for the neckpiece.
Vanessa wore a dress that resembles the Emoji flamenco dancer. It was such a party at the bottom.

Rachel goes home...and she says she's back at square one..when we know square one is the the hosed down rock tiles of the Bachelorette mansion. She says everyone tells her how amazing she is..but it always ends like this.


Women Tell All (WTA)
I usually don't blog about the WTA because I'm too busy saying WTF.  It typically is a bunch of women being angry at each other and the common denominator is that it's about a guy that doesn't choose them.
My big take away is that I think hoops are coming back (that and i like the term slob kebab..although people from the Middle East might take it as a slight as kebabs are typically quite tidy). I kinda felt like girl from Wisconsin in the white tried really hard to make a statement in her white plunging pantsuit which was killer and required double sided tape and she likely paid so much money to make her hair whiter..and she didn't say a word.
The mental health counsellor was feelings so many feels and was upset that her career was affected. It was ironic that she wasn't exhibiting emotional intelligence yet defined it for 'Merica. Chris Harrison-who i think has incredible emotional intelligence had to point out that neither Taylor nor Corinne are talking to each other.
Corinne was unapologetic. I loved her lipstick. I"m betting it was a multistick from Bite Beauty. What I give Corinne high fives for is bringing gluten and dairy back to mainstream. Yet Taylor wouldn't take a bite from the dish that was handed to her. Taylor is intolerant of so many things.

True colours...
Kristina bleeding red white and blue was way too much. Kristina recounting her sad story of the orphanage and the teacher telling her that Russian living would be black and white and in the U S of A it would be many colours...seemed like the ABC network's way of invigorating some type of national pride. I wonder if Trump and Putin are watching. Kristina told her some orphanage friends have gotten in touch with her...someone I"m doubting the the Bachelor will be filming in Moscow anytime soon.

Speaking of a non-story.Rachel is the new Bachelorette...and hey she's black....and Chris pointed this out to her...Rachel takes this as an honour and she's humbled.  Seems like the show is trying to hard to unite..not that unity is terrible but it's so overt.

What got my eyeballs rolling is how excited all the girls got that Rachel might find her husband....and Astrid also piped up "We'll take your leftovers".  Two days before International Women's Day..this show has a far far way to go.

I'm  not googling Bachelor Spoiler alerts..but it seems like Nick doesn't pick anyone....Typically Chris asks on the WTA if the Bachelor is happy. Chris doesn't do that. Or maybe Nick shows up on Rachel's season.
Until next week, I LOVE THIS SHOW

One cold (and short) episode

Well...I was all excited that some of my favourite things coincided...my birthday, a day off AND the Bachelor...and then...whah..only a 1 hour?? Oh well..i guess i have more time to celebrate my birthday.

Andi D knocks on Nicks door..and not to break up with him...she needs to talk to him...she still seems cold, more like frosty. She's got some unpleasant vibes. Apparently she just wants to see what's up..and the conversation requires whiskey. It was a big waste of time..and truth be told.it was a bit of an awkward reconciliation visit. While the girls are lining up outside for the rose ceremony...Andi and Nick are warming up with some whiskey. Nick tells Andi he's not just going to pick someone because he's the bachelor..it seemed like a bit of a jab.that Andi chose Josh over Nick and we all know how well that went. Then Andy wants to know if Nick is going to have sex on the Fantasy Overnight Date (FOD)..and then Nick says he's not sure. He regrets that he had heartache and pain. But then we get to the real reason that Andi is there...Andi gives him forgiveness for outing that they slept together on the Men Tell All...she says do't let something you said a few years ago hold you back. Whah? It didn't sound like it was a problem...seems like and needed to have this out.

The girls are chilling  freezing on the outdoor patio to have the rose ceremony. I still think this is the Bachelor on a budget and the producers probably didn't want to rent a banquet hall for a short ceremony..i'm guessing the patio was free(zing).  Some of them didn't look like they were ready with the right jacket for the dress. I'm guessing they were thinking "Damn, I'm covering up my cut-out dress with this coat that doesn't really go with my outfit". Love Vanessa, but her jacket looks like one she wears on supervision at recess.

Nick-not a lyrical Jesse James- says to the group in acknowledging the hometowns..that all families were "uniquely special".

I thought the person going home was going to be Vanessa that goes..but it's..
Corinne!
She whimpers during the announcement...Nick walks her out..she apologizes to Nick for anything she did wrong. He reassures her..she did nothing wrong and he will "miss the hell out of her". Rainier Rilke he is not.

Corinne makes an existential switch. She proclaims she won't worship guys anymore and won't set out to impress men. They need to impress her. You go girl. But first have a nap. Dating can be exhausting.

Are the FODs going to heat up?
We are going to Frosty Finland to find out!!! Only a few hours of sunlight...and they can see the Northern lights...kinda sounds like Edmonton...:)

Raven gets the first one on one.  I should have had a nap before this date. So boring, even thought it was a helicopter date around Lapland Finland.  First..this date was at a pub (this could have been in Edmonton soooo many pubs in Edmonton). They have drinks and play darts and have boring conversation where Raven typically repeats what Nick says or gives a milque-toast response. For example
Nick: What was your favourite part of hometown date.
Raven "everything was my favourite"

Nick has to all the heavy lifting in the conversation department.  Even though this episode was one hour Raven's date made it feel like the show was longer. She's nervous, so nervous. Because this FODis a big deal and she loves Nick and she wants fireworks..zzzzzz. Oh..and speaking of O...she's never had one. She lobs that at Nick too. Yikes... hopefully the attraction he feels for her compensates for all the work and expectation on him.

And then...
the show ends?
Why is this only an hour? Why did they announce that Rachel was the bachelorette already?

I feel my world has been turned upside-down...well not really.. a little sideways...but that was from my birthday party Saturday night..
Until Next week's 3 HOUR episode..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!

Hello Hometowns

Howdy Hoxie
The first hometown is in Hoxie, Arkansas. Raven meets Nick on an ATV, wearing a pink helmet.. They they go visit a steel structure..not sure if that was  grainery and are stopped by a a police officer who asks them for ID..almost seemed like the trailer for Get Out (but wait this is Raven's date, not Rachel's)..but phew..it's her brother. haha. He meets the police officer bruh and it's all good. They ATV on..and then seem to take turns straddling each other in a  bog/marsh/reed-filled water.  Maybe how that's how things get hot in Hoxie..but I'd think that's how people get Lyme disease.

It goes from marshy to mushy when they meet her parents...where they announce that Raven's pa is now cancer free. (this was my first cry of the Bachelor)...Not sure why they'd share when Nick was around..but i'm super happy for Raven's dad. I don't think Raven's dad gives a whip about Nick..he just wants Raven to be happy..and straight up tells Nick "I didn't expect to like you". Awesome. But what wins on this episode is how Nick kinda asks for the dad's blessing in a way that is almost as clever as the phrase 'alternative facts'.  He says something like"if we both come of the end of this and decide together that we want to get engaged and your daughter is happy, would I have your blessing that we go through with this".  That is genius..he gets Raven's dad's kinda blessing for the kinda request.

Dallas
Disclosure. I'm white. So this might sound super white. What was the Rachel is black Nick is white theme. Was this to create drama??...and why is this suddenly an issue??
Rachel took him to church...and a church that is WAY more fun and energetic than the the one I go to...no swaying and stomping at my church. It was pointed out that it's a primarily black church(super obvs). Nick had fun....they got to lunch..don't eat and head to Rachel's family's house.  This might sound anti-white..however the most annoying person on that date was the white dude (not Nick)but Alex. And not sure why the race issue kept coming up because Rachel's sister married annoying Alex who said to Nick "I can't help but noticing you're white". Whah??? Alex..look at the Man in the Mirror..oops wrong Michael Jackson song..i don't know know any of the words to Black or White.
Yeeesh..i might break up with Rachel knowing that I'd have to have dinners with annoying Alex..her sister seemed very in your face and confrontational..i have a feeling those two just like attention. Rachel's mom seemed nice...but she did acknowledge the elephant in the room...but she always taught her daughters to look at people's heart first:)



Miami
Corinne is actually showing glimpses of vulnerability...and I like it. But first. The mall. Corinne meets Nick at the mall and they go shopping!!! and Corinne buys Nick a 3000.00 outfit:) Now I wonder if this influences whether he gives her the rose. And if he doesn't would he have to return the clothes? After the shopping they stop at the food court ..it's a perfect setting for Corinne to tell Nick she loves him. then they pick up their bags and head off the the family condo. We meet Raquel (who I just wanted to hug)...and Corinne's family. Corinne's dad looks he's from the northside.. They all have some marinated olives and then Nick and Jim go to chat. Nick asks for the 'alternative blessing'. Not it's not really the blessing, but in the event that it is Corinne, would he have a blessing.
Then Jim asks Corinne if she would be okay being the breadwinner. I mean, you can't just survive on olives. Corinne is okay with it. Corinne says that Nick wasn't the guy that she thought that she deserved to have then she thought she should start believing that she should. Nice work Corinne. You just go love yourself (I can't help myself with quoting aBieber :)

The date ends.they take the elevator ride down and the parents watch the couple make out from the window .

Bienvenu au (or Benvenuti?) Montreal
What the what was Vanessa wearing. Not who..but what. She was wearing everything. I didn't know what to look at..the pirate shirt, the furry vest, the leather pants with zippers on the knees. I think she tried to incorporate every trend..well except the pirate shirt..i think she meant the off the shouder white shirt that was very 2016 but is still being carried in 2017.
I thought there would be more Canadiana in this hometown. Mais non. Oh Quebec..always a touch difficult.
They go to her school..on a Sunday..where Nick meets her students and they make a scrap book for the couple...i'm sure there were a lot of waivers signed to make that happen. Then they go meet Vanessa's mom's side of the family complete with nono and nonna.  I kinda feel like I was visiting a friend on the northside. I guess the cement lion phenomena is not restricted to northside Edmonton Italian homes. Plenty of religious statues and rosaries.  It was a heavy date..and I"m not talking about all the carbs on the table. They were a gregarious but not a happy bunch. They were all SO WORRIED that Vanessa would be hurt again. Let's all just put our pasta fork and spoon down for a second and check ourselves. First , there are not guarantees in dating or life. Second this is a reality show that's been on for like 15 seasons. We know the drill. There are others. It's a little Sister Wives..but likely it goes down to 1 person at the end (well..nick has flunked out at this  twice..but maybe 3rd times a charm).
Vanessa's sister kinda reminded me of Celine Dion by her look and kinda like Jenny from the Block (early days) because or those super large hoops. She was a very confrontational. Vanessa's mom...not as in your face.but also so worried. Maybe Vanessa needs A LOT of support after a breakup.
They head over to Vanessa's dad..who made me laugh. He called Nick out on his 1/2 culo (that's ass in Italian) attempt to ask for a blessing. He's like "whaddya mean, there are 3 other women, did you ask them for their blessing". And Nick is called out on the 'alternative blessing request". Love it. They sit awkwardly and then Pat, the dad, relents.  Pat talks to Vanessa and she's encouraged that Nick asked for a blessing...then she has the smarts to ask if he asked other people and her dad has to break the news Yes he did. Ah. being a parent sounds hard.  Vanessa is flummoxed by this. I'm flummoxed by how she can be flummoxed by this. Basically we're both confused..and Vanessa leaves her hometown thinking she needs answers. Yeah sister, don't we all.

Rose ceremony.
The Bachelor is still on a budget. Yes the Rose Ceremony will be in NYC..but it's happening in Brooklyn..not Manhattan...
Each one of them seems to have their own room.and they all are out on their own terraces pondering what will be their fate.
Someone is shown walking to Nick's room..i was thinking it was Vanessa..but it's...gasp....Andi??
Whah??? Maybe she thinks Nick needs a lawyer? or maybe she wants to be a part of Nick's life again.

Ahhh..we have to wait...
Until Next Week...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Cost reduction on the Bachelor

This was a sad sad episode.
After Nick lets Danielle go, he calls in Chris for a consult. Chris doesn't have time to put his flip flops on so he does it barefoot. Chris asks the exaggerated question...do you want to pull the plug?
The girls are back in their room worked up in a a lather that Nick may call it quitsville.

Nick goes to their room..and says 'where is everyone' the whole room gathers in a posse. He addresses the room and says "I see what I want in this room" Somehow this is supposed to be flattering to everyone yet noone specifically. This show is spectacularly bizarre..and the girls are relieved..and to make them all feel better...there will be no rose ceremony...but there will be a flight to the romantic island of .......
Bimini!!!!!!!!

Bimini??
What the? It's one letter off of bikini..but that's all i got for Bimini.  It looks like  a sad little island with some row housing for a resort...and a Hilton.

Go Deeper;Vanessa
The first 1:1 with la Canadienne. Vanessa's never been on a boat..but she looks pretty comfortable donning flippers and jumping in l'eau. They kiss underwater. And then they go sit at a dining table and Vanessa is supah-dupah confident that her and Nick and her are on the same page..until she says she's falling for him and he doesn't say anything..but says let's go somewhere...and then the date ends..(bad editing). Well Vanessa went deep..and Nick kept on the shallow end.

Both feet first
Whah? That's a recipe for falling on your face...this group date seemed like Kristina was in the lead..if you're taking how enthusiastically one massages suntan lotion into the other person. Nick announces they will be swimming with sharks. That's fun..Kristina sees one and gets out of the boat and Nick follows.  Later there's a wine and cheese event..where Corinne is popping cheese cubes. She may be the only bachelorette who eats on the show. Kristina gets 1:1 time first. Somehow him and Raven have more chemistry..i think after she says her parents are together and madly in love. Madly be the operative word..if one or the other steps out of line.there's loose gun laws in Texas and we already know Raven gave the beats to a cheating ex..and the cliche goes that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, On this date, there's a rose for some reason. and Raven gets it.

Corinne's self proclaimed platinum is not even ranked. Corinne awkwardly walks over to the Hilton in platform heels. I saw my nine year old goddaughter walk around in my heels this weekend and she could run laps around Corinne. Maybe Corinne still had sea legs from the earlier boat ride..but she could barely walk in those shoes. She goes to visit Nick and wants to make him feel better. Nick ends up rejecting her ..saying he doesn't want to make the same mistake he did with Kaitlyn...oh Nick you and your kissing and telling. But good on ya for not going there..Bimini crickets!!! She thought she had this in the bag.

zzzzzzzz Danielle's date.
The only thing remarkable about the date was how perfectly arched her black cut off short were. I'm sure she got some kind of fancy shears at Michaeal's and methodically clipped those shorts...she likely had wayyyyy too much time on her hands on the show and thought she use some crafting skills on the shorts. the bike down a paved path..then have wicker container of beer. is that Bimini thing..were they not trying to promote  a beer brand?? They go to dinner. not eat dinner..she shares her feels...nick doesn't have the same feels..so her walks her out. Danielle is wearing another very short short outfit (this one factory stitched) and she has to collect her things.  The girls are sadnotsad to see her go. And true to the date card..she rode into the sunset.

short and sweet date:Rachel
They have a chill (read no cost) date. They have a beer. The bartender asks how they met. I don't think they get the Bachelor on Bimini..maybe the bartender does not care that a camera is filming this encounter. I think Nick is really into Rachel..and likes that she's smart and confident..She's never brought home a white dude. Nick is already self conscious that her dad will wonder if he's a ding dong. Rachel floats back to the room..literally an hour later..and announces it was amazing.

Corinne is beginning to unravel. This supports my theory that when people overtake their 'game', confidence etc..it's typically a ruse. (which may not lead to a rose:)


Loose cannon.
Nick..suddenly realizes he is not feeling it with Kristina..not sure when those feelings shifted..but he must tell her. So he tells her..and she hops into a black truck..barefoot..not even enough time to get her shoes.

There are 4 girls left..and 4 roses..will they all get hometown? Will he cut another loose???
Until next week
I LOVE THIS SHOW

I can't see clearly now

Everything is sooo confusing. I think what we have here is paradox of choice with a dash of hint of paralysis analysis...but alas he is forced to make decisions as the FODs are coming the FODs are coming.

This is why my dad has always says "don't sit on two chairs" but Nick's got like 10 chairs...and some of those legs sure are wobbly. Some of the wobbliness you can blame on the Henny..but some are poorly constructed.

We come back to the bachelor mid date..while Nick and Corinne having dinner  enjoying each other 's company and Taylor marches in. She's been freshly spritzed by some kinda priestess and she's going to give Nick the straight up goods. Now I think there should be some type of rose legislation that states once you've been given the official good-bye from your date that you can't come back for seconds.  Taylor comes back to tell Nick that he was lied to...Nick is an excellent reflective listener and thanks her for her time. Taylor still goes home.

Guess that special ceremony didn't have any special powers.

Corinne gets the rose.

No cocktail party..just a rose ceremony...and the budding dolphin trainer and Jamie say good by. Let's take a minute to acknowledge the crystals on Jamie's dress. Did she steal those from the chandeliers in the mansion. That was the gaudiest fancy dress i've seen.

The are all off to St. Thomas where they get...
Island Fever

They all go a little coconuts on the island. They get to their hotel. jump on the beds(?). and all get on the balcony to wave Nick in.
Kristina gets the one on one. They get on a seaplane. He's looking for backhanded compliments.."how do you like your first one on  one?" Like she is supposed to show great gratitude for being chosen. Nick then chooses an old cold war reference says  he plans to knock a wall down so he can get into her mysterious Russian past. Wrong reference for the wrong country. and relations are anything but cold between Russia and the US these days.
Kristina and Nick frolic in the waters..and then they go to dinner and sit in front of their food while Kristina recounts how she didn't have food and she ate lipstick. So sad. But I'd expect her to eat on this date.Kristina's Russian teacher's metaphor for living in the US (living in Russia would be black and white but living in the US would be living in colour) was beautiful and layered. Good move on Nick to use it to say that she adds colour to his life when she is around (despite her wearing a white dress on the date..but we get the point) Kristina seems super lovely..and she gets the rose!!

One. Tense. Group Date.
Holy bananas that was a stressful date. The girls all look effortless in their shorts and breezy tops when they go meet Nick. That's when the breeziness ends. Not even alcohol could loosen up this crowd. Beach volleyball was difficult and then even that got to stressful when Jasmin pushed Corinne. Even our lovely French Canadian's formage kinda slipped off her craquelin as even she got to crying saying she's been so patient with the process but that this is so hard.
I do think this show provides a clear picture of what it's like when one is "too much in one's head".
Jasmin was the loosest cannon of them all. And the talk of the chokey. Jasmin just got all 99 shades of the dark van is coming for you and your luggage to get your a$% off the island. I was scared for Nick.
Nick did award the rose to the woman who assaulted her boyfriend. Raven.

2:1
Whitney and Danielle are on this date. Whitney is either super chill or a wee dense. They get on a helicopter ride our to an island...there really is no fun on this date, although they do get to be protected from the sun on a comfy bench where they are served drinks. From the 1 minute conversation with both of them, he determines that Danielle is his pick. But he goes to tell Whitney, that although he would love to give her the rose, his heart says no. Whitney sits there..and looks at him with gazelle like eyes. I honestly don't think she registered what he said. So Nick had to tell her it's good bye. However this means he plucks the rose, gives it to Danielle and they fly off..leaving her in a sandstorm  and still not likely seeing things clearly.

Suitcase man retrieves her suitcase.
While at table with drinks and food, Nick is having a conversation with Danielle who says they have a lot in common and that she's falling in love with him..except Nick is not feeling it..you can tell by his eyes..and what he's stroking. He seems to stroke legs if he's really into a person..he is taking her arm. I call it fore(arm) shadowing.
Nick tells Danielle he's not feeling it..nope not her forearm....he's not feeling the love.
She goes home.


There's a storm a brewin' in Nick's head.  He's cutting people loose. Does that mean he's not into anyone? Will this process not work for him? (as it's failed him twice before). He heads over to make his problem the other women's problem too. He comes over crying to their compound  hotel room to say he wants something authentic and real..and he's not sure this is going to work for him. What is he expecting the women to say? He should not be turning to them for comfort. They are all gasping and worried for Nick. I think everyone needs to take a step back and get their denim cut offs untwisted and just think if this is working for them.

Nick ominously says he can't do this anymore..and walks toward the water. Vanessa takes off.
All we have is outakes from next week with several people pulling  dramatic bent over Mesnick-like poses.  It's daytime and Nick is in the same shirt.
What will happen? Will this show (and Nick's heart) go on??

Until next week....
I LOVE THIS SHOW!