My favourite show- beyond a reasonable doubt

Since Rachel is all about keeping' it real and 100...
This, for real, is my favourite show. Ever.
I mean I love Master of None, the Mindy Project and Narcos....but this show..top shelf. The ritual, the dating, the feelings, the posing...it doesn't seem to get old. It gets cliche...but it doesn't get old.
I'm not sure if Rachel is my fave....she says she's sassy and classy..but when she says "this ring finger is ready"...I feel a little ill...those feelings continued when the pre-show pep talk with her 'squad' from Nick's season telling her she should get the fairy tale she deserves. Raven was getting teary eyed..maybe 'cause she thought this shoulda been her. Maybe because she ate crow last season..so close Raven.
Are Nick and Vanessa still together???
We need to focus..just as Rachel says she will...because she didn't put enough focus on that are of her life.But Back to the mansion..where we hope Rachel finds love in a hopeless place:)
(Rachel kinda reminds me of Rhianna).

Some of these men are SO SO SO adorable. Some are very so so.
First..
Let's start with Kenny. Maybe because I'd love myself some GSP, but Kenny the wrestler is so cute and he seems so loving toward his daughter. I am picking him as my top 3 in my Bachelorette fantasy pool..not that I think he's most suited to Rachel..i just love Kenny to pieces:) lol to he's seen a lot of rings in his life..and hopefully he'll see one with Rachel...even his dumb joke was fantastic.

Jack...oooo...so sad his mom died in high school...i liked that he thinks Rachel is special (Rachel will like that too)

Alex....I was liking the meat head/nerd combo..it's dreamy actually..but the 'talk' his mom had over skewered meat was a bit off putting. I thought it was funny that his mom told him that the girls kiss too much (they do)...but the dangly raw chicken..eww. No wonder there is a job for food stylists. Make that raw, salmonella infested chicken look pretty.

Mohit...was a strike out..i loved that he was a Bolly wood dancer and had a dance party in the living room with family...that looked super fun..but him at he Bachelor mansion..

Lucas...the waboom guy..all that head shaking is going to mess up his inner ear. What is whaboom...i think women like mystery...but this guy's a straight up ding dong.

Okay..the moment Blake said he was a nutritionist...he was on my no list. Even though he came in with a  marching band and his snare. I don't think that snare will help him catch Rachel.

Diggy...he's got fashion and sneakers and a cool nick name..i don't see him lasting.

Whoa..we need a food stylist and decorator on this episode..what the what was going on in Josiah's home...was that place condemned? Then the shots of him doing 3 push-ups and jogging...i don't think Josiah is a runner.


So we got some back story...the the limos roll in.
Let's talk about that dress though. Too many elements and not enough natural fibres were harmed in the making of this dress...so many straps, holographic, shiny, white, marbled, mermaid meets debutante. Well...i guess she's kinda debutante-y in this episode. Why do those dresses have to be so much? The guys seem to like it..one of them yelled 'holy hot damn' in the limo.

That's funny. Must use that line.

Okay. I will. With Peter. Holy hot damn he's cute..and it's not just his gap in his teeth. SO SO Cute. I"m picking him for final 3.
Josiah...she didn't look that thrilled when he came out of the limo..but I loved his..see you later litigator comment...That made me lol. Wish there was a cute dietitian greeting. Not much rhymes with vegetable.
Bryan. cute..and asks her "have you dated a Colombian" she says no..he says something Spanish. Which is attractive...Maybe I haven't dated the right Colombian..but i'd say it's not so caliente. (Who names their Colombian kid Bryan?)
Kenny...he kissed her hand..
Rob the law student...i'd say he was an instant no. Him admitting to playing the Bachelorette fantasy pool..i think he seemed more like a fan of the show than looking for love. He said "I like that she is jovial". That made me lol.
Iganacio...while I love a guy with a lot of vowels in his name...he seemed a bit insecure to me..and his shoe game was off...or it's so fashion forward that I'm not seeing it.
Iggy..cEO has sneakers...
We had some medical professional two doctors who seemd unremarkable
Blake K..is a marine veteran..I need to ask my sister which ships were used in recent conflicts....(maybe I should watch the History channel more than catching every season of this show......)
Brad the male model literally broke the ice with large hammer. The best line of the night was when he walked in and one of the guys announced. "Thor's here". I lol'd very hard at that.
Dean...the start up recruiter..his jacket seemed so small. There's a skinny suit...then there's the 'my jacket it too small suit"
Demario...(again nice vowels:) is an exectuive recruiter and she was warned by a 'squad member" that she heard from a friend's friend that he's not here for the right reasons...tsk tsk. such gossip. He told her he's looking forward to moments with her. Then again..that might be foreshadowing that the lifespan of their relationship will be mere moments..
Fred..what was up with Fred..they had a past..of her disciplining him..but not in a good way..whah Rachel..when Rachel tries to be racey..it falls flat.
Who annoyed me more than the 'nutritionist'/aspiring drummer...the tickle monster. I dunno if it's because I hate tickling..or that he can't come up with a decent catchy title...i woulda sent him right back to the limo..if it was up to me.
Lee...confession...when I see singer/song writer i equate that to wrong reason . Like wrong reason to be on the show....for the purposes or Rachel..but maybe right reason is for him to get some recognition. Dude..you should have tried out on the Voice.
Holy hot damn again..Adam...i loved the real estate agent..not his creepy doll AJ..but there's something about Adam.
holy hot damn x3..Matt...I do heart penguins...i didn't know they mate for life..they are my favourite animal (no didn't watch the documentary..and had to learn they mate for life on the Bachelorette)..but I could tell Matt was cute. I say YES to Matt..and YES to the penguins!
When Jamey (yes that's spelled correctly) said to Rachel "this dress is ridiculous"..he meant that as a compliment?? Right? I mean ..i think it's a ridiculous dress...but not in the  that dress is 'sick' way. More the how ridiculous is defined Merriam Webster as opposed to Urban dictionary.
All I could think of when I heard Jedidiah's name...was Mariah Carey's "Honey" lyrics..."Mariah..on fiah"...not even sure what Jedidiah's story is.

That was a very lonnnngggg line up of men...but I think a lot of them will come up short.
At the cocktail party Whaboom was ridiculous (Merriam Webster), Josiah's confident proclamations made him sound less confident the more he spoke. Demario's first question to her was "n sync or bsb? Rohit looked great in his suit..but that guy was weaving and tilting. Blake the trainer/nutritionist/drummer was calling out Whaboom. The fact that Blake couldn't see the futility of that or that it was a waste of his breath..spoke volumes. Bryan (the Colombian) pulls her aside to tell her he's 37 and he's very serious...then he kisses her. With what seemed like more sucking power than the vacuum that Nick was walking around with. I think they had chemistry..but that kissing..had to avert my eyes..was embarrassed for both to them. But that sealed the deal..he got the first impression rose:)

The others were handed out to

Peter (YAY YAY YAY)
Will
Jack (adorbs)
Jamey
Iggy (why?)
Eric
Demario
Jonathan
Bryce who accepts the rose (with honour) ??
Alex (cute:)
Kenny (go Kenny!)
Dean (not sure why)
Matt
Anthony
Brady
Josiah (phew...there woulda been tears)
Lee-singer
Diggy
Fred (did the producers want her to keep him)
Adam-YESS
Blake -eww

Milton was sad..he didn't get to show his outfits..
this is going to be a great season!!!
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!