one long week later

and it's baaack..
I thought last week's hiatus was due to the Bachelor Paradise scandal...which i haven't kept on top of...but it involved Demario, Corinne, a pool and ETOH. Not sure if there will be paradise this year...but that show seems like a claustrophobic two star resort with a lot of levels questionable hygiene.

The Bachelorette has its clautrophobic moments...especially when the guys have to staying a suite hotel all together..drinkign alcohol and putting their feet on the table.

But I"m happy they're back:)
We came back to a replay of Eric reminding Lee that is his (Eric's) name is in his (Lee's) mouth.
Most of the guys are staying out of it...especially Dean looking perfect adorable in his flowery shirt and shiny white teeth.

I'm starting to feel like I need an anti-emetic when Bryan speaks. He shovels so much romance it makes me say "ugh" out loud..to my TV. Rachel kinda encourages it..I know she's all about that 100, but she tells him you're too good to be true. Then Bryan says it's a fairy tale, then she says no it's not..then he says it's not...but follows it up with "you're my future, my focus is on  you".

Meanwhile Lee is gloating at how angry he is making everyone...Dean states that it's racial..Dunno if it's racial or Rachael...I think Lee just wants to emerge victorious... Lee does win with phrase of the night..."that won't put a tear in my beer"
hahahaha...that's funny...maybe he should write a song about it.
Maybe Lee just wants to be a shorter, less muscular Chad.

Meanwhile...Rachel has a lot of tears in her beer..because she's feeling the pressure ..and that she'll be judged on her decisions. She's feeling so much pressure that Chris H comes in to say.."tell me what you want, I can facilitate anything".

I actually believe that...Chris has amazing facilitation skills.
But all he does is cut the cocktail party short.
Sidebar: you know what else needs to be cut short..Rachael's eyelashes...If fake eyelashes were on steroids..that would be the ones on RAchaels lashes...I can't even tell you what colour eyeshadow she's wearing because those eyelashes are so distracting.

Rose ceremony
Bryce and Diggy (I wish it was Iggy) are gone.
Why does she keep Jack if she never talks to him?

Next destination: South Carolina
I think the guys pack all their stuff...some of them have 2 suitcases..
They get to the resort..they are all in one room again..
Dean gets the 1:1
YAY!!!!

Dean is getting cuter..I am a little concerned with the integrity of his enamel with all the tooth whitening...but that is the only integrity i'm concerned about. He's all around fantastic, lovely, affectionate, vulnerable...(and a bad dancer..but hey none's perfect).

They ride in a blimp! (do we have those in Canada)..it looked fun..then they have dinner...where he shared his story about his mom dying...i wanted to crawl into my TV and hug him too. Rachel was sweet and said she didn't want to cry too..
Then they went to the awkward concert with unfamiliar artist, dancing on a raised platform situation.
Dean mainly swayed and then wanted to jump and throw just one arm in the air like he just don't care.

But he does care..about Racheel...and he got the rose.

Group date
They have a boat date!! Alex looked like he worked hard to gather his hair into a mini-pony. I wonder if he has man bun goals. Where the boys dance an have a push up contest..where I think the only guy that did pushups was Eric...Peter adorably recreates the Titanic scene with Rachel..i heart Peter even if he can't spell coitus. Kenny does some freestyle rapping...however I'm getting the sense that he's trying to show all his talents but they may not be enough...although I dislike Lee..I think Lee can see through Kenny's uber strong muscular exterior..and I think he's a bit weak on the inside.
There is a spelling contest. Josaih wins.
Confession.:Despite attending over 70 weddings I would have mispelled boutonnier. Besides that..the words were easy.

Josh said he is loquacious....i do think the used a thesaurus to come up with that.
Now is the party. Iggy is getting even more annoying...he either seems like he's trying to facilitate a focus group or tries to show some charm to Rachel...saying he's protecting her...and he also calls her sweetie (shudder).  It gets gossipy when Lee throws down more smack about Kenny...Kenny tries to charm her with some freestyle...he seems like he's trying too hard again..instead Rachel asks about Lee...so Kenny takes Lee outside to talk..and then.....

TO BE CONTINUED
with blood above Kenny's eye.

Does Lee cut him with the pocketknife that he carved the word enchanting to Rachel?
 Until next week's double episode (monday and Tuesday week)

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!