Monday, January 12, 2015

She thinks my tractor is sexy

I tuned it after a few minutes late. That is not the way I like to start Bachelor watching..but c'est la vie. I see women in bikinis in shiny red tractors. Yup. I got the right show. Although I didn't get the  backstory - but guessing the 'winner' gets time with Chris. The tractors are slow. Chris comments that they start off like snails and then he makes a honking sound. Whuh? I'm starting to doubt Chris' intelligence.
Ashely, the free lance journalist who looks amazing in a white bikini "wins". The prize is some one on one time with Chris sitting on his lap - drinking champagne of course.
Why is Chris wearing a hoodie without a t-shirt underneath?
The other girls are sitting around surrounded by hay bales looking Frozen and talking about Chris. Seriously, these girls just need to Let it Go.
Chris comes back..and asks to spend the rest of the date with Mackenzie.
Is Ashley seriously a freelance journalist? How does she not know to say gypped on the show? How do the producers not edit that?
Mackenzie..talks to Chris notices he has had his ears (did he get both of them done?) about big noses and aliens.Nice to know Chris doesn't release based on belief in aliens… Chris..you're a better person than I.
Mackenzie also tells Chris about her son Kale (Umm rutabaga is the new kale..kale is very 2014). Very sweet that he embraces vegetables children.
They end off their date with dancing in a corner..and he kisses her 5  6 times (according to Mackenzie)

Date card!
Megan the make-up artist. gets the card.
Coming off watching the Golden Globes and brand new youtube videos by my favourite make-up artists Kara Kendall, Tati , Sonia Gasparian and Desi Perkins (ok I follow too many make up people on Youtube), but I"m underwelmed by Megan's make up artistry. And I know (from Youtube) you can pull off stellar dupes with drugstore brands so what's Megan's excuse??
pardon me..i get a little passionate about make up..but back to true love..Megan got a date…they went to an airport!!!! and then on a helicopter!!! The views were great..but she seemed so taken with the Grand Canyon that she face planted in his stomach..like she was projecting her visceral reaction. So weird.
The hopped off the helicopter and had a picnic. The setting was gorgeous. Megan tells Chris about her dad dying..and that her mom told her to follow her heart. She also told Chris that she is not here for the wrong reasons…nuh-uh….only the right reasons. Atta girl.
I actually don't agree with Chris saying  Megan has the best blue eyes in North America..my nephew does…sans any make-up product. Case on best blue eyes in North America closed.
Chris is smitten with Megan…i don't' get it..and I don't get why she sporadically whispers to Chris.
She gets the rose!

Ooo..whoa ..heavy topics on this bachelor..Juelia tells the girls that she is a widow. The girls are compassionate and ask questions..even after Juelia tells them her husband committed suicide.  I thought they were very supportive…but asked the useless question if she had noticed any signs..i'm not sure how that question is helpful.
But how are the girls so supportive of that but not when Ashley clearly is having some type of issue with reality on the zombie date? I thought they lacked compassion and insight…it was like a group, mean girl bully mentality. That was sad to watch.

That whole Zombie date was hard to watch. The squealing girls in the limo..super annoying. I don't get the preoccupation with zombies…i thought the guy i dated in 2011 (briefly) who talked about zombies was an anomaly. But so many people are interested…I don't get it…Still doesn't want to make me get back together with the zombie loving DJ. But back to true love…Britt gets a card that says free kiss from Chris. She's thrilled. I hope noone tells her that Chris hasn't been charging for kisses.  Kaitlyn gets the rose!

I have to say..what endeared me to Chris is how he treated Ashley. He didn't call her 'cray'. He actually gives people a chance and accepts them as they are.

Jordan's upside down tweaking whilst drunk seemed like perfect example of why they should keep helmets at the Bachelorette mansion.

Cocktail party
I will say one thing is cray. Ashley's outfit. and there is another..Ashley's overzealous make out with Chris. Yikes. Both are TOO MUCH.
Jordan was drunk.
I think Whitney's voice got higher pitched than last week.
TaraThe cowgirl was sad.
Britt was emotional.
Katherine was back!! (whuh? she came back?)
Not much else..oh..the bartender asked to kiss Chris. Seriously? - but she secured a rose.
Jillian wiped out enroute to get a rose that wasn't hers. but she got one later…
Ashley got a rose..
Did anyone notice the sunflowers behind Chris when he was awarding roses…he likes to keep it as country as he can.
and a bunch of other girls got roses…

Tara had the saddest swan song…it went on for many verses…so much sadness for her. Yikes Tara…you gotta love yourself first…then it doesn't matter if a farmer from Iowa whose dress pants are too short doesn't pick you.

Oh..quick note..no rose report next week…this bachelorette is working a casino…oh..i mean working at a casino…not "working a casino"… I'll be up even later then when I write this report..but what do I love….. you guessed it..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!
see you in two weeks!!


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