Monday, May 27, 2013

#amazing journey #will you accept these abs #magic armour and dipping are epic fails

Ahhh...It's back..and I love it..
Dez the wedding dress designer is the Bachelorette...how fitting! No pun intended.
But you know what was intended was the cliches..Cinderella/fairytale/ sweeping off her feet/happy ending.
Dez is pretty, sweet, genuine..but unoriginal..
But who isn't down with a little Disney....especially when you are on the amazing journey to true love.

We know the Dez is ready for love...(isn't that the name of another reality show?)

But on with this show.
Dez is set up in a Malibu mansion with a cute baby blue Bentley. Sweet house, sweet ride..hopefully the ride will not be too bumpy.
Before the bachelors arrive..Dez cruises around Malibu..in the Bentley...then on roller skates.
She has amazing abs...I'm going to watch her carb intake this season for sure.

So let's bring on the men. Wow..what a crop...Dez gets decked out in a mermaid inspired metallic dress..ready to meet the 25 suitors.

They are mostly too much..some not quite enough..but here are my highlights..
Will the high fivin' financial dude that does Bikram yoga. Does he seriously walk around giving random high fives in Chicago...mind you I got a random high five on Victoria promenade the other day. It was kinda fun...Namaste brother.
Drew...whoa..tough childhood...he seems super focused and mature
Nick...brought his bag of tricks to the Bachelor mansion. I think this guy wants a Vegas show and not a date. I could see him working the clothier angle to establish what they had in common..but I thought it was a bad omen that he made a white paper rose turn into a real one..dude..the show is about red roses. he could have produced a rose and given it to himself.
Brendon..he seems nice..but I think he could have gotten a stylist to get his hair cut instead of his army issue 'do. He needed a style and a bit of product.
Brad-accountant..brought a bone. I get the sentiment..but odd to carry a bone in your pocket on a date (oops..I"ll just not comment further...I mean odd to bring a wish bone.. you know what I mean??!!)

Kasey....whenever I hear the name Kasey..I think 'guard and protect your heart"...that's a Bachelorette memory burned in my brain.
Mikey..love is name..love that he's a trades guy...seems to keep it real. But what was all his talk about family ..got a litle mafiosa sounding..but I like Mikey...
Jonathan....well..he handed Dez a brazen card that spelled out an invitation to a fantasy suite.For a lawyer he did not argue his case. He was pretty bad at reading her response to it...but I think he was a bit blunted by the alcohol..with attempts 2 and 3.
Zak...will you accept these abs..best line of the night! His abs and cannon ball in the pool secured him a rose. He doens't seem like the brightest guy..but hey.at least he got a rose.
James..I thought Mikey was intense..but James brought the loyalty.
Larry...IQ  does not equal social graces. Larry the ER doctor tried to spin and dip Dez..but instead she tripped up in her dress..then Larry awkwardly left. Larry was then quite lethargic at the party..did he pop an Ativan..some Oxycontin...at one point Dez asked if he was sleepy!
Diogo..the ski resort operator....had likely the most expensive rental of the night....a suit of armour. While his armour was rock solid..his charm was not...nice try.it seemed to fit into the triteness of the show nicely. But when he took off his armour...he was definitely lacklustre.
Now who puts the lust back in lustre is Juan Pablo....hello Venezualan soccer player! sigh...she got schooled in pronouncing his name..but I think Dez was a little lost in the mystique of Juan Pablo. sigh...Juan...thanks for showing up:)
Ben..and Brody...adorable cuteness Brody...Ben's son..gave Dez a flower...awwwww!! Ben brought him to show her his son.very upfront..pretty clever..but now she knows..apparently brody wanted to go to the party...


The cocktail party didn't get too crazy save for Zak's dip in the pool, Jonathon's one armed push-ups to prepare for the fantasy suite. Ok..call me naive..but what was up with the one armed push ups?
Nick pulled more card tricks (yawn..I think Dez wants a different kind of magic)

Dez kicked Jonathan to the mansion curb. What was that guy thinking? Again...IQ does not equal social graces. Poor Diogo also got the boot (i'm not sure where his armour was)...and Larry was befuddled. He thought it was the dip. No Larry.because you seem like a ding dong..and very spacey. He even told the camera that he practiced dipping 50 people and very few people had a problem with it.

cutest quote: Diogo upon exiting..told the cameras.."I have an explosion of love inside" Awww...Diogo..I hope you find someone...

Until next time: #I love this show
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