The amazingly long journey

I gotta make this Rose Report short because this was one really long episode. And there were also a lot of long lashes
But when I saw 1/2 hour is dedicated to red carpet ceremony of Bachelor Nation - my first thought that this episode would be like the tepid Canadian Bachelor …insufficient content so it depends on filler and short episodes..but nooooo…this was a 3 hour episode . Yes some people in the developed world still don't have PVRs.
Bachelor nation…it rings hollow. It's like the Bachelor franchise is trying to build a history, a family. But looking at former Bachelor/Bachelorettes hanging on the red carpet awkwardly. Kinda like flying solo at a wedding..where you only know the couple and you have awkward conversations with people you think are awkward.
Speaking of, the extended conversation that Chris had with Nikki about her non-relationship with Juan Pablo..was about  7 minutes too long. That was mucho ado about nada.

Andi looked so lovely. Josh is looking fine..i think his tooth whitening went from electric white to white ivory.. nice to see he toned it down. I'm concerned for his enamel. Andi looked better than ever. I'm not sure why she kept stroking Josh's back..but with an open hand..it was like open handed stroking. She continued that in studio when they were called upon in the town hall to discuss Bachelor Chris' decisions. She just can't let go of Josh.

I like Chris (well the host definitely..but Bachelor Chris..yes)..but the Iowa montage..was way too long..I think they covered every inch of his 6000 acres that Chris is covered in corn, soy and alfalfa. Bottome line..Chris wants a wife.and they are moving to Arlington (pop'n 400). The episode was sprinkled with many kernels :) of wisdom and farming metaphors. The Bachelor is anything but subtle.
Yup….love i a lot like farming…you plant a seed..and nuture it and you get something people. But ah..really for something beautiful to flower..the soil (and we all) need to go through a little bit of sh!t.

Stop the car(s) Stop the car(s)!!!!
Somebody please stop those cars.
30 women. Yeesh. That's 8 % of the population of Arlington.
Britt was the first out of the limo and had a hug that just wouldn't quit. But it worked..and she's adorable. I think I wanted to find her annoying..but I really liked her (and so did the Iowa home slices that were in the Bachelor nation audience). She gets first impression rose~
Jillian.whoa is she buff..did you see her do pull-ups with a weighted belt (that's pretty bad a$$ )
Reagan with a fake bloody heart…eek
Mackenzie…I think she got her dress at the Sposabella close out sale..but she made it.
Ashely..of the people are onions and you need to peel them…She seemed odd..and not because she can't explain metaphor…but the pomegranate picking was odd. I didn't know if she was drunk or off.
Tara..speaking of drunk..i thought she was going to fall over at the Rose Ceremony..but he picked her…I kinda admire Chris for that…because she was a drunk mess.
Kaitlyn. Whoa. Hold the horses…even though I know she wants her field plowed. And what about that Tupperware joke…Eek.
Carly the cruise ship singer with a karaoke machine…I think she got the machine and her dress at Toys r Us…not understanding Chris' taste.
Amanda the ballet dancer looks like a belly dancer. I think her mom bedazzled her top for the show…but they were not good luck charms.
Jade..I'm pumped she's on..because I can't wait to see her make up choices as a cosmetics developer..she looked pretty..and not like she was off to a debutante ball.
Who wore the dress that looked like a table cloth. It seriously looked like she fashioned that from some doilies that she found in someone's closet..and it was complete with doily cuffs. You can't make this stuff up.
I can't remember the rest of the women..except  Kara the soccer coach who said she wanted to "get wit" Chris..and was "just a servant"..to who.
And the big teaser is..Kimberely the yoga teacher goes back into the house..and wants to talk to Chris..will she get to stay. Yikes. Never beg. It's so unbecoming..and soon you'll be going.

The sneak peak for future episodes…looks like there is going to be drama, romantic dates (yes..there will be a private concert!) and tears along the way…it will be fertile ground that will yield true love.

until next week..I LOVE THIS SHOW!!