27 dresses - 27 vestidos

Yay!! It's baaa-aack..the Bachelor!! and the Rose Report or should I say el  informe de la rosa.

And we have Juan Pablo!! When I heard it was Juan Pablo, I had my doubts about him. He looks fabulous running shirtless and he can handle a soccer ball like nobody's business..but I"m not sure how much more there is to him. His daughter Camila Valentia is adorns...he is portrayed as a caring dad..but I see his parents do all of the caregiving. The one redeeming thing he did say was in the preview of future shows "i'm no here to make a fool of myself"..excellent..some pride..

The show starts with some vignettess of Camila and Juan Pablo..them playing and Juan Pablo (JP)narrating how important Camila is in his life.
He wants to find a wife..and have two more kids..and he' believes in destiny and in being open minded. JP is the perfect candidate for this show.

Sean makes a  Cameo (Word). He shares some wisdom.like having a kissing game plan, keep an open mind and don't get focussed too early. Sean said Catherine wasn't on his radar until a few weeks in (I'm sure she appreciated that being told on national TV). Sean says that when the limos role in that's when it 'gets real'. I appreciated the irony.


After the meeting with Sean, JP has to take a shower and really wash his chest:) It's important to have a clean chest. Shower scene - muy caliente.

A few bachelorette home scenes were featured. Renee the single mom with amazing abs, Amy the slightly off massage therapist who says "I want a man who wants to be rubbed by me"...then she is shown at her table with a meal saying in an infantalizing way showing a fork with food to the camera "I  made you breakfast'. Weird.

Andi..the pretty prosecutor has a faux Judge Judy like scene in court and then there is a shot out of court where she doffed her blazer just in her feminine blouse saying she has a romantic side too. Uh because you can't be smart and romantic at the same time..like they are mutually exclusive?? Good thing the show clarifies it.
Nikki seems like  a sweet pediatric nurse. Whoa.then sad Lauren who tells us that her fiance broke up with her over the phone..she says she's tough. That veneer gets cracked later in the Bachelor mansion.Valerie seems like a sweet personal trainer from the country until she states she could scratch people's eyes out. Yikes.

Limos arrive
JP is looking right in his black suit and skinny tie. He's ready for the 25...no 27 women!!! Bonus time at the Bachelor.
As the cars pull up you can hear the women screaming. Sigh. Pull yourselves together ladies.

What was most evident was the lack of original conversation..most went
Woman "Hi..you're so good looking..I'm so happy its you..the only reason I'm here is because it's you".
JP "Hi..thank you . you look beautiful..thank you"

time 27 women.

There were some attempts to be remarkable..the sciene educator said she was going to do a chemistry experiment but threw away the test tubes (littering :( ) and said how about we just have chemistry.

Kelly brought her dog.
Cassandrea said nothing.
Nikki the nurse brought a stethoscope..nice tie in to her career..also an opportunity for him to focus on her cleavage. Clever.
Elise dazzled him....with her dress. That was some cray sequin/beading going on.
Ashley cute gold star idea..bad updo.
Lucy had a serious down-do. Labelled as a 'free spirit"..I think she's a plant..like an actress. Just a hunch.
Kylie is an interior decorator..but i though her red hair clashed with her Barbie dress. Was it just me?
Christie's dress...was a BCBG esqe dress with a halter..butit kinda looked like a wedding dress...
Charlene the opera singer seemed super nervous but her lilac dress looked gorgeous...and finally Andi looked beautiful..she had a nice ombre hair going on..she kinda reminds me of  a Penelope Cruz.

Cocktail party.
The mood was tense. JP tried to have a dance party..but it seemed super short lived. JP loves to dance..that's his thing.
Almost everyone was busy swooning over or talking about JP. I can't recall who brought the puzzle of JP and Camila with a missing puzzle piece. Super weird.
Amy the masseusse happend to have a massage table handy and gave JP a massage..with oil and through his suit. Bad idea. She seemed super creepy. I was not sure of the type of fabric her dress was made off..foil? leftover New Years decorations? It looks like it would retain heat.

JP gave an example where he was not super intuitive. He couldn't read Charlene at all. He read her standoffishness as nervousness..even when he came bearing a rose..she said "seriously?"...She says off camera that she didn't really feel chemistry..but she accepted the rose from the hot soccer player..that was big of her:)

Rose Ceremonia
I could feel the tension through my small non HD TV. My only surprises that he gave the rose to Lucy (free spirit) and Christie (bandage dress). OH! and poor Kyle mistakenly stepping forward  to get the rose when he called Kat..kinda reminds me of the grade 9 music awards when they called Carol..then i stood up..and it was another Karol...so embarrassing...at least it was not on national TV.
I hope Lauren gets the counselling she needs and learns that a dude wanting to marry you should not make you happy nor does him breaking up with you destroy you...god speed Lauren.


Until next week...Me encanta este show!!!