Despacito

That is how this show plodded along...verrrry slowly..
We were given a play by play by Rachel. She is not wearing her ring? What? but the Jimmy Kimmel preview says that Rachel will appear with her fiance..sooo..I knew she picked one suitor.


We pick up the show when Peter has the FOD..despite her reservations ..that he won't propose..she gives him the FOD card. He accepts. Was their fantasy suite a hostel? When Peter walks in he says "this is super cute". Rachel doesn't give a crap about cute..she wants clarity by day break.

All I learned from the FOD is that Peter has a rather large tattoo on on of his shoulders. Dont' think he's changed his mind about the proposal. And why did Rachel feel like she needed to walk out in her robe and slippers in the middle of the street to say goodbye.

Next we have Brya(w)n
Bryan grates on me. If I had a shot every time he used the word confident...I'd be about 800 calories in and unable to type this rose report.
Bryan kinda feels like he's in a dream.  I think he thinks he's a legend in his own head...it's like he's read a lot of terrible romance novels. He is astute enough to know that Rachel is not her usual giddy self with him...Peter's all up in her head..They talk about it..he knows she's having a stressful week..but I feel like he's trying to say..hey...it's me ...Rico Suave Bryan...remember charming Spanish me??
He takes the FOD card..their room looks a bit better than Peter's..they are eating strawberries in bed.

Rose Ceremony
Feelin' all sassy and Spanish..she wears a red dress and black underwear with spikey glittery appliques. We all know that Rachel is transparent about her feels on getting a proposal..but the dress is also super transparent.
Eric gets the good bye...I think Eric's definition of leather shoes includes sneakers..'cause he wore his white Addidas to the rose ceremony. She tells him..he loves him but is not in love with him.
Huh? I don't get the difference? Is there a difference?

Oh and she also states she is in this to win it. I mean to get a proposal..and she shoots Peter a look. In case he wasn't abundantly clear. She wants a ring on in in Rioja.
She lets Eric go...Eric says he'll always love her. I love Eric..but I"m not in love with him:)

When she walks back..Bryan goes in for a hug...then Peter..then they all awkwardly cheers to...ummm...to something..i'm not sure what.

Eric then comes onto the show...he's lovely. He asks Rachel "how's your heart?" and he thanks Rachel for putting love in his heart...Ah Eric..it was always there...he really should watch Wizard of Oz.  Eric also wore black leather shoes and a cute little flower on his lapel. Looking sharp Eric.

Final dates.
We pan to Peter...who is writing something..likely very brief in his tiny moleskin journal.
Bryan gets the first final date..(does that make sense). Appropriately, they are going for a hot air balloon ride. Apparently Rachel likes to get lifted by hot air...the four people who are awake in the village say hello to them...
They go back to his room..and he gives her a dictionary of words like spouse and forever. And he tells her that if he doesn't get chosen he'll be heartbroken.
This guy is too much...but not enough...

Peter
They wore matching colour...they both wore olive. She's still unsure if Peter will give olive himself to her..hahahahaha..
She is going hardcore..she's wearing camo and brings him to a monastery and a monk speaks with them about marriage and the big picture.
Then they head back to Peter's..where there is the age old question. Will Peter propose to Rachel. I was so confused. Peter doesn't feel ready to propose. Rachel doesn't want a boyfriend..Peter says he doesn't want this to end..then it sounds like he would propose if that meant she woudl stay..but Rachel doesn't want him to do something he doesn't want. So then he says she'll have a life of mediocrity if she doesn't pick him. Well that was bold...But we have had the whole season of Mr. El Romantico say how el confidente he is. So I was good with Peter's sass. And the guy is saying he needs more time...so does she just want to secure a Neil Lane diamond...I don't get her. What Rachel wants is for Peter to propose...because he wants to and Rachel wants him to, but Rachel doesn't want to have to tell him it's what he wants.
Thsi was tiring...but Peter stuck to what he wanted..and so Rachel and Peter walk out...and I think they broke up....and she walks out of the hotel and it's raining...ahh...pathetic fallacy. Rioja is crying over the breakup. And Peter is so hot..that he removes his sweater.

Now in comes Peter to the studio live. Rachel is rude to him....she says she's living her best life...and she patronizes him and tells him the way he is is good..and the show isnt' for him..I really hope he's the next bachelor..And Rachel cared about him so much she cried her eyelashes off..and apparently they stayed in the hallway for two days...Ewww...that's some perezoso cleaning staff in Rioja. I'm so happy for Peter that he didn't relent...who would want to be forced into an engagement. ugh.

Now..on to the conclusion of this love story...
Now Rachel is saying..maybe she's rushed everything..so will she let Bryan propose.
Bryan chooses a tear drop shaped (foreshadowing?) diamond...and he's ready.
He drives up and Rachel is waiting in the wind for him..
There's all kinda hot air blowing. Everything is whipping around except the rose. What was with that dress slit? that was the highest slit i've ever seen. Oh and by the way...he's feeling confident.
He says his piece...Rachel starts off saying she's confused..i'm thinking she was going to pump the brakes on the engagement. But no! She wants him...He proposes..she accepts...and does a little dance when he is down on one knee. Rachel gets what she wants...a proposal....and a lifetime of back adjustments!!

Back to the live show..and Bryan re-proposes...they are soo excited to be together..Bryan is really excited to "show her off". Ugh.
They made it on the cover of people. And they are taking it slow..and getting to know eachother. Isn't that what Peter wanted too???

They are talking a winter wedding...but in the meantime..the town of Rioja is giving them a free trip there to visit!!! Maybe the eyelashes will be picked up by the time they visit.

Here's to Rachel not needing to seek out strong eyelash glue..and to a long and happy life for the both of them as esposo y esposa.!!!!

Until the next show...(and I hope it's Peter as Bachelor)
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This was a snooze-fest. Don't get me wrong,  I always look Mondays...but this episode just plodded along-almost needed a coffee.
Hometowns
Because of Rachel's pregnant sister, the hometowns happened before they went to Spain.
Why wasn't Rachel's dad at the hometowns? Does he not agree with this? Rachel's mom seems tough enough for both of them.
Constance's husband Alex wasn't as annoying as the last time he met Rachel and Nick, but there's this undercurrent of anger/rudeness that Constance and Alex have.

This may be my first rose report in bullet points
Peter

• ah....I remind myself of my mom when I write this..but I get why my mom always told me not to swing my arms so much when I walk...I don't get why Rachel swings her arm so much..or maybe she's flailing to keep balance when she's on heels...Rachel..I didn't like when my mom told me..but you gotta stop swinging your arms so much.
• before they head into Rachel's parents' large, fancy house, he says he's falling in love with her
• surprise! she's falling in love too..(but she was also falling in love with Dean last week)
• Peter gave a soliloquy at the dinner table where he outlined his journey, how he has taken time to develop with Rachel. This shut the Linsey family down for questions.
• Peter said he couldn't ask Rachel's' dad for her hand in marriage..but that he wasn't at the stage, Ugh...the mom is right there...the mom is also a parental representative. how archaic.
• Rachel's mom says she speaks for Rachels' father when she liked his honesty. For the record..I like it too..if the dude isn't ready to propose why do it? Because Rachel decided she wants a marriage at the end of this. Seems so weird to predecide that you are going to get married. The only things i totally predecide is what items I'm getting at the Sephora VIB rouge sale at 20% off. There is some serious thinking and list making involved for that.

Eric

• Like Rachel's journey:) i feel like my affection for Eric is building. 
• I'm still not sure if he just wants stability and is amazed with Rachel or if really is falling in love with her. Either way that guy is (insert 100 emoji here)...And I like that.
• Eric gets grilled about family, and that he's never loved anyone.They are all shocked.why? Maybe he was self aware enough to know he wasn't in love with someone before.
• Eric just seemed super present and so so real

Back at the house..Peter tells Eric he can't stand Bryan..somehow i'm like Peter a lot more..I feel the same way about Bryan. I don't get all this charm that Rachel sees. I see him a saccharin (artificially sweet) and when he said he got his doctorate. Yep. (eye roll)

Bryan

• the family grills Bryan. Bryan refers to Rachel as a pronoun instead of by her name. That annoys me. He annoys me. Use her name. 
• they move the dining room table where the meals are pre-served on a plate and 1/2 plate appears to be grains and not vegetables
• Bryan gets uncomfortable with the questioning and excuses himself from the table. He couldn't handle the el calor.
• He asks Rachel's mom for permission to marry her
• Hmmm...what is one nice thing I could say about him?? Oh!! he could translate Despacito for me!!

Spain
I'm looking at my watch and I'm thinking..how are they going to fit in 3 FODs? ( fantasy over night dates?). They don't. Grr.

Eric

• Helicopter ride.
• I think Eric yells out because he's nervous. He can't process those feels so I think he yells randomly. I should try that.
• I like Eric even more...he's all vulnerable and self-aware and lovely. 
• Go Eric.
• He gets the date card..he reads the card aloud. He thanks Chris Harrison. That was adorable.
• They have the FOD. 

Peter

• They go to a vineyard
• Rachel gets serenaded by the owner and the song does not translate well subtitled ...something about Americans and carnations .  Damn..how dare they talk about carnations on the Bachelor. It's likely a thorny issue on this show.hahahahahahaha
• They get a key.not to a fantasy suite..but to a locker with wine in it..and it's unclear what it's for. Do they keep all the wine? If Bryan was there he could translate.
• Rachel gets a flower from a random cute brunette girl. Brunettes are THEE cutest:) then all get led over to a big barrel and they stomp grapes.
• Back for the evening portion of the date..they have a weird conversation. Rachels doesn't see the engagement as marriage and Peter does..but Rachel didn't come here for a boyfriend. What is going on here? To me, it sounds like Rachel is trying to manipulate a proposal. So weird. I don't understand why they are at an impasse.

TO BE CONTINUED

Next week is MTA...I will be enjoying 24 K magic with the cutest nephew in the WORLD and he's way more mature than most men on that show.

Until two weeks from now!!!!
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!

What a gong show

Literally there was a gong show.
Besides that I'm spent...
I might have teared up 3 times. What's happening to me.

Eric
So we head up to the hood for Eric's date. Rachel keeps saying she's so nervous..really Rachel...now was she nervous about meeting the family...or the 'hood? Eric did point out a drug deal going down. Straight outta Baltimore. After the two play some bball and see one of  Eric's friends, they head out for some family time.
They are off to Eric's aunt's house. Verna. Verna is lively, engaged, eloquent and attractive. She's fabulous....She brings up the R word. That would be race..asking Rachel how's she deaing with pressure.
Then we meet Eric's mom who is unintelligble and placid. Not sure if she's calm due to chemicals or indifference. I didn't get her tough love speech. Eric's dad was even more distant..and had some tough talk with his son. Eric ends up toasting everyone and thanking everyone for the good and bad experiences because that made him attract Rachel. Talk about making Lemonade...not the album..that was Beyonce...(and the reason to avoid the jungle....because there are too many cheat-ahs. I'm talkin' about you Jay-Z.)



Bryan
So Bryan is not my fave. Not because he wore sweatpants on his date or that he threw a Mr. Worldwide reference into the Miami introduction. He seems more milquetoast than caliente.
He took Rachel to play dominoes with some latino men..and spoke Spanish to them without translating to her. Rude. Thankfully the dominos were green and white...I was sure that there was going to be a black/white reference but thankfully there was not.
They go to a little club and dance a bit...Bryan accidentally crashes her face.  He introduces her to arepas...that's where it ended. They didn't eat them. So many calories left unconsumed on the show.He says he's obsessed with her smile. YAWWWWWN.
Off they go to meet the family. Is Bryan the only child? was the dim brunette girl his sister. WHy did she keep saying demise? So dramatic.
Mama Olga seemed intense...but I loved her...she lists love, respect, trust, understanding as being the most important qualities...she doubts that he can love Rachel after he's met SO MANY girls. Do people really think he's all that and a bag of el papas fritas???
Olga seems to want someone for her son so he can be with someone when she dies (water works for me for that sentiment)
Joe the dad is mainly mute.
Rachel looks like she's in love with him. She coos when she kisses him. Like a pigeon.


Peter
Rachel races toward Peter. They go the farmers market. Personally, I never get that thrilled to be at a farmer's market. Sephora or Artizia however...now that's exciting. Buying some home processed food that might be contaminated with E. coli doesn't give me a thrill. Peter says he's there every week. Likely buying over priced Swiss chard.
Then they head to see his friends. His friends seem nice...and one guy tells Peter not to be afraid of the future.
Off to see the family. Rachel is thrilled when she sees Peter and his niece together. Seeing men with kids is very endearing for women but the reverse isn't true for me according to Esther Perel (who kinds looks like Olga now that I think of it).
Peter's sister and mom say Peter may not be ready for marriage but is for commitment.
This bugs Rachel.
But she's got major love-y eyes for Peter.

Dean
Dean is the cutest and he has the shortest pants ever.I teared up twice during this visit.
They ride on ATVs, then have wine, then head off to see Dean's dad who has converted to the Kundalini (sp?) Sikh faith.
Rachel's arrival has brought the family together. Dean's dad welcomes them and does some special goinging..which sounds soothing...dean is anything but soothed. I think Dean wants to smash the gong. Rachel was mature, respectful and open during this whole date. She was so lovely.
Dean's dad seems like he's got some emotional blocks. I might have cried when the feather came out and Dean's dad talked about Deans' mom. The current wife was very open during that.
I cried a second time when Dean's sister talked about how amazing Dean was.
I nearly cried a 3rd time when I saw how much pain Dean was in when he was trying to talk to his dad. For such a surreal surrounding, this perhaps was the most real the Bachelor has been in years.
Rachel tried to talk to the dad after...but he just gave blessings and didn't want to talk.
Dean then tells Rachel he loves her..and Rachel loves him too!!Whah???!!

Rose Ceremony
Who is Rachel going to choose?? Chris comes in and does a recap of the dates with Rachel...Chris H looks like he's growing more hair..maybe this is such a stress-free job that he's gaining instead of losing hair.
Rachel makes up her mind..and in front of the guys she apologizes to the one who she will let go..and that is.......
DEAN.
whah?? she said she loved him...
Dean asks her why..and she said she didn't say anything she didn't mean..Dean leaves...and says she made a mistake..and those feelings weren't reciprocated.

Dean..you are fabulous..get some help..talk it out..and you'll be better than evah!! xx Dean.

They are all off to Spain.
Yay. Bryan can use his Spanish. And Eric gets to travel more...
The family meetings look super stressful.

Until next week
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!

We are all like Swiss cheese

I heard this analogy once, that we're all like Swiss cheese.  The holes, like the ones in Swiss cheese, are the deficits we see in ourselves or our personal weaknesses.

So off the crew went to Geneva. Where Rachel had some whittlin' to do. She had to go from 6 to 4.

She was looking for things to get real. And she was going to do some digging..and find those holes.

First 1:1 was Brian
To be honest, I don't get what she sees in Brian. Sometimes he seems super honest and and genuine..and sometimes so schmaltzy.
So they go on a superficial date, fancy car, fancy watches and a fancy theatre.
She buys him a watch...or the show buys him a watch. He doesn't offer to pay for hers...
Ugh.  She says she's attracted to his confidence. Is he confident? I really don't know...and she keeps saying he's too good to be true...well...if it's too good to be true..it likely is..
Can't wait to meet  Brian's mom..'cause apparently he broke up with his last gf b/c the gf didn't get on with mama.

Short on pants..and the real feels?
Not sure if those pants are supposed to be that short. They go to church and then out for lunch..or to a cafe where there are plates and no food is put on them. Dean keeps laughing and asking dumb questions about the tooth fairy. At dinner..where there is food on the plates but they don't eat, Rachel gets so real she looks mean.And Dean then is so honest I wanted to crawl through my TV and hug him again because he says his dad is uncoventional and unsupportive..and he never got support.
She gives Dean the rose!

She's got high slopes hopes for Peter
Peter gets his first helicopter ride..she likes Peter.she says she longs for him. They get up to Glacier 3000 and then go on a dog sled...and have some mountain time to chill. Actually, I don't think she handles the cold well, because she is always shivering.
Then back to a dinner...indoors.Peter tells a story where he broke his gf's heart when he movedout and tears were streaming down her face. Peter got weepy. Rachel wants to know if he's ready for a relatonship..he says he won't propose if he's not feeling it..and what is Rachel's reaction? She is upset and unsure! Whah? if someone isn't sure about a proposal...then he shouldn't propose. I don't get RAchel..
She gives Peter the rose...i kinda get the feeling that Rachel likes to rescue people

3:1
Adam, Matt and Eric.
That's a difficult date..just like the date card said.
She takes Matt aside...and Matt is all cute and wanting a chance..and Rachel starts bawling saying that he reminds her of herself.and she has to let him go..So does that mean she rejects herself. (and why was there a Czech car sticker on the  black good-bye van in France?)
Adam seemed like he was positive self talking himself to cover up his holes..he doesn't use the word difficult and he even gave an inspirational toast. WEll he got burned because she picked Eric...even with all the deep holes he revealed about himself.
I was rooting for Eric..i dunno if they're the best pair...but he seems so honest....and self aware.


While this was all very emotional..i can't wait till next week where the holes are gonna get real big:)

Until next week
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Will someone please find Rachel some eyelashes that fit?

Much ado about nothing

I figure if Rachel's going to throw down some Shakespeare, I'll do the same.
This show can be summarized by a few:
The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. (Lee is a huge lying ding dong)

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. (She didn't trust Lee, let him go, then Kenny)

It is a wise father that knows his own child. (Kenny loves his daughter, figures he's not got much going on with Rachel..and should go home)

There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. (Eric is totally going to let go and immerse himself in this even though his mom never showed him love, and he has never felt love)

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore winged cupid is painted blind. (not even sure what that means, but Bryan would probably say that).

The course of true love, never did run smooth. (Who would have thought that Will would have gone home...)
________________________________________________________________
It really was a snooze of an episode.
What seems to be true on this show is that the negative people tend to go home...Lee and Kenny..and the optimistic (or infatuated) ones seem so stay.
Here's to good vibes only.

It was interesting that she had to ask Peter to kiss her.
Adam is really stepping it up..and I"m SO THRILLED that she kept Adam and Matt. I really like Matt for some reason..maybe becaue he kinda reminds me of Bret Contreras.

Two rose ceremonies tonight...no wonder i'm tired....

Not sure where they are off to next week...but until then..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!

Round 1: Kenny vs Lee

Aww shucks there will be no shagging

The producers tried everything to see if there was going to be a connection with Jack and Rachel..first  they shagged - a partner dance that originated in the Carolinas. The dates have not gone international...the shag would have been another dance of sorts. You could tell during the dancing that the chemistry was not there ..for Rachel. Like  Peter, I have a knack for reading Rachel.
Then they shucked oysters and ate them. Apparently Cassonova had 50 oysters for breakfast every morning. Supposedly oysters are supposed to have some aphrodisiac properties...all I know is that they are the highest food source of zinc..which helps boost immunity.

I could tell Rachel was immune to Jack. Jack was saying how great everything was...then he tries to kiss her and she says "you'll get sick". Whah? did we know Rachel had a cold? She really was not feeling Jack.

At dinner it got worse..he was oblivious to her uninterested vibe. And started asking about her father and if he was funny..because Jack likes to joke around..then he say you get that from your father...not even asking about Rachel's mother. Jack says he's like to take her away from this..and she said " what would do in Dallas"..his response..we'd just lie in bed and chill and talk. YAWN..a man without a plan. I felt uncomfortable for Rachel...so she pulled the rose  plug and told him that she wasn't feeling the X factor. Jack did not make it easy for her..so she had to offer to walk him out.

There was no van talk with Jack..likely because he didn't have anything interesting to say.

I've been so mesmerized by Peter's cute gap and confidence that I wasn't noticing he has really bad grammar...he has a difficult time with subject/verb grammar.

Now to some Country Grammar..not the Nelly type...i'm talking about Lee. He is just spouting off about Kenny. I don't know if the producers put Lee up to this. Lee sees this as a competition I think, and some type of Survivor/Big Brother type competition. So much negativity. Will tries to explain to Lee that black men may see being called aggressive as racially charge. Lee states "I don't understand the race card". Ugh. The guy asks no questions. Not asking questions is my #1 pet peeve, followed by  public nail clipping.

Meanwhile Kenny is trying to keep the snake analogy alive-talking about Lee slithering..and he even uses the Eve/snake allegory...

Cocktail party (cancelled0
Rose ceremony
Iggy and Tickle monster go home.
Ticklemonster gets in one last tickle. Wow...how annoying.
Iggy sheds tears..and says he learned so much about himself! Good job Iggy.

They are off to Oslo!! (Rachel had to include Norway just so they knew where they were all going)

Rappeling and SO much attraction.
Bryan would not be my number 1 choice. He seems so needy and clingy..but as the date progressed, they really seem so into eachother.
They rapelled of a ski jump..and Bryan needed to kiss her mid-air.

Rachel is questioning why Bryan is still single. Ahem..that is a really dumb question.
1. the person hasn't found someone
2. the person doesn't want to date just anyone
3. the person might find most people underwelming.
those are some potential reasons why Bryan may be single:) well that and maybe he's too clingy and women find it cloying.

They got sit at dinner. Rachel has perfect yellow/gold eyeshadow...Her lashes are overkill but that eyeshadow game is strong.

She gives Bryan the rose..and they kiss and kiss and kiss.

Eric's insecurities are coming out...he thinks Rachel is not into brothers. Anthony gives rational, sane, calming advice. I like brother Anthony:)
Mean while Lee really takes to adding shine to his boots and hair..and does some bicep curls in the gym..with his boots. Not sure if he is making gains.

Group date: Handball

The boys played handball. Will played the best. Peter played with Rachel on and off the court.
Josaih is all sugar. So sweet it seems disingenous...AND Rachel called him out on not asking any questions. Go Rachel!! I'm on Team questions too!!!!

2:1 One stays one goes
Not surprising Kenny and Lee get a group date.
The elimination dates always seems to involve the elements. They helicopter into Viking territory..where there are bog like conditions. In order of who dressed the warmest from most to least: Rachel, Kenny, Lee.  Well..reptiles are cold blooded creatures..maybe Lee didn't need layers to keep him warm..he had a hoodie like shirt that was unironed...Kenny seemed to be a bit cold..as was Rachel in her parka and gloves. Gurrrrl, you would not survive an Edmonton winter.

Kenny and Lee each have 1;1 time. Kenny gets a bit more time as Rachel needs to clarify if Kenny got violent with Lee and if he has a dark side when he drinks. This sets Kenny off...and Rachel needs time to think..and Kenny walks down the hill laughing maniacally at snake-man Kenny and says something nonsensical like "He's going to be washed under the tide or realness that is Kenny".

What is going to happen?? the previews show Kenny with a bloody eye..but his leather jacket is not on...Is Kenny going to knock some scales off Lee?

Until next week  tomorrow....I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

one long week later

and it's baaack..
I thought last week's hiatus was due to the Bachelor Paradise scandal...which i haven't kept on top of...but it involved Demario, Corinne, a pool and ETOH. Not sure if there will be paradise this year...but that show seems like a claustrophobic two star resort with a lot of levels questionable hygiene.

The Bachelorette has its clautrophobic moments...especially when the guys have to staying a suite hotel all together..drinkign alcohol and putting their feet on the table.

But I"m happy they're back:)
We came back to a replay of Eric reminding Lee that is his (Eric's) name is in his (Lee's) mouth.
Most of the guys are staying out of it...especially Dean looking perfect adorable in his flowery shirt and shiny white teeth.

I'm starting to feel like I need an anti-emetic when Bryan speaks. He shovels so much romance it makes me say "ugh" out loud..to my TV. Rachel kinda encourages it..I know she's all about that 100, but she tells him you're too good to be true. Then Bryan says it's a fairy tale, then she says no it's not..then he says it's not...but follows it up with "you're my future, my focus is on  you".

Meanwhile Lee is gloating at how angry he is making everyone...Dean states that it's racial..Dunno if it's racial or Rachael...I think Lee just wants to emerge victorious... Lee does win with phrase of the night..."that won't put a tear in my beer"
hahahaha...that's funny...maybe he should write a song about it.
Maybe Lee just wants to be a shorter, less muscular Chad.

Meanwhile...Rachel has a lot of tears in her beer..because she's feeling the pressure ..and that she'll be judged on her decisions. She's feeling so much pressure that Chris H comes in to say.."tell me what you want, I can facilitate anything".

I actually believe that...Chris has amazing facilitation skills.
But all he does is cut the cocktail party short.
Sidebar: you know what else needs to be cut short..Rachael's eyelashes...If fake eyelashes were on steroids..that would be the ones on RAchaels lashes...I can't even tell you what colour eyeshadow she's wearing because those eyelashes are so distracting.

Rose ceremony
Bryce and Diggy (I wish it was Iggy) are gone.
Why does she keep Jack if she never talks to him?

Next destination: South Carolina
I think the guys pack all their stuff...some of them have 2 suitcases..
They get to the resort..they are all in one room again..
Dean gets the 1:1
YAY!!!!

Dean is getting cuter..I am a little concerned with the integrity of his enamel with all the tooth whitening...but that is the only integrity i'm concerned about. He's all around fantastic, lovely, affectionate, vulnerable...(and a bad dancer..but hey none's perfect).

They ride in a blimp! (do we have those in Canada)..it looked fun..then they have dinner...where he shared his story about his mom dying...i wanted to crawl into my TV and hug him too. Rachel was sweet and said she didn't want to cry too..
Then they went to the awkward concert with unfamiliar artist, dancing on a raised platform situation.
Dean mainly swayed and then wanted to jump and throw just one arm in the air like he just don't care.

But he does care..about Racheel...and he got the rose.

Group date
They have a boat date!! Alex looked like he worked hard to gather his hair into a mini-pony. I wonder if he has man bun goals. Where the boys dance an have a push up contest..where I think the only guy that did pushups was Eric...Peter adorably recreates the Titanic scene with Rachel..i heart Peter even if he can't spell coitus. Kenny does some freestyle rapping...however I'm getting the sense that he's trying to show all his talents but they may not be enough...although I dislike Lee..I think Lee can see through Kenny's uber strong muscular exterior..and I think he's a bit weak on the inside.
There is a spelling contest. Josaih wins.
Confession.:Despite attending over 70 weddings I would have mispelled boutonnier. Besides that..the words were easy.

Josh said he is loquacious....i do think the used a thesaurus to come up with that.
Now is the party. Iggy is getting even more annoying...he either seems like he's trying to facilitate a focus group or tries to show some charm to Rachel...saying he's protecting her...and he also calls her sweetie (shudder).  It gets gossipy when Lee throws down more smack about Kenny...Kenny tries to charm her with some freestyle...he seems like he's trying too hard again..instead Rachel asks about Lee...so Kenny takes Lee outside to talk..and then.....

TO BE CONTINUED
with blood above Kenny's eye.

Does Lee cut him with the pocketknife that he carved the word enchanting to Rachel?
 Until next week's double episode (monday and Tuesday week)

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!