Bachelor - Gangam Style!

As if JP wasn't international enough...JP plus 13 are enroute to Seoul (minus Kelly's dog)
Seoul will see 2 Group dates and 1 one on one.

I was expecting Psy at some point..not quite..but close.
The girls have 1 hour to pack..for the international holiday. That sounds like a nightmare...so much packing..so little time. In the airport shots..it looks like the girls brought EVERYTHING.

They settle in to the Hilton. Their suite looked gorgeous!!
Group date 1: K Pop

Who says you don't learn anything on the Bachelor. I didn't know that K Pop meant Korean pop. How is that different than American pop. The girls were going to pop out with 21..the K pop music sensation. Lesson #2..South Koreans have way more colourful and interesting sweatshirts and outfits than we do in C pop or A pop land. I loved the tops!! The tights and bottoms were a little cray.but I loved the colours.
The girls had to do a choreographed dance number and JP was down with poppin' it like it was hot. Nikki was cool to it..and then there was Cat dancing like she was on a hot tin roof. There was a lotta pride, and bootay shakin' and more serious dance face. So Nikki is getting a Negative Nikki rap..but she was pretty funny. I thought she had a pretty good attitude about it..and just got through it. Chelsea seems to just go in whatever direction JP blows..for a science educator..there is not much method to her JP madness. I also thought Cassandra didn't bring a lot of dance moves from her 'former NBA dancer experience"...(low points for artistic merit from the Croatian judge).
For the performance in a mall...JP had a quite a jacket..that was some serious collar going on. I also thought it was odd for the top K pop group with 77 million youtube views that they would be performing in a mall, with only 3 security guards that are wearing suits. I can't see Rhianna or Beyonce performing at the HMV stage in West Ed...maybe the 21 K pop sensation was overblown...like Cat's dance routine.

At the after party...Nikki gets the rose!

One on one date.
Sigh...The Bachelor is not one to miss a cliche. Date card: Are you my Seoul mate?
Well, kinda fitting..because Sharleen has to do some Seoul searching to see if she likes JP...beyond his aesthetic. She wants to see what's shaking in his brain, beyond a catchy Spanish dance tune.
They explore Seoul. I thought her Sharleens nylon and shorts combo was odd, Maybe it's chilly there? Maybe they were sheer lederhosen she brought from Germany?
 They eat some food and have some tea. Sharleen in her charming subtle as a sledgehammer ways tells him he's not bland. Hmm..does she really think so or is she yield to his charms.  He seems to make pretty intense eye contact with her and she doesn't seem like a typical choice for him.so perhaps he does have a few complexities in his character that are not assuaged by Venezuelan food and bumpin' beats.
She seemed like she did let a little bit of her wall come down with him..and not because she belted a couple of operatic notes (i'm unsophisticated in the operatic way..but I thought her warm up routine sounded like she was calling some type of tropical bird).
Kudos to Sharleen for being completely open about her thoughts on kids. And kudos to JP for wanting to get to knowing more.
We know JP digs her 'mondo' and gives her a rosa!


K is for Krazy not for K pop
So as not to be confused with group date number one...there will not be a K pop date, but a Krazy date. No wait...what is a date withJP without music...the first group activity starts with Karaoke!
Well not really.
Not one of them read Korean so they all jump and sweat in this dollhouse like Karaoke place. Then they drink lemonade, do some paddling, eat some Octopus (even Clare kind of ate some, regurgitated, then 'swallowed it back down' - thanks for that explanation Clare..very important for all of us to know that. Isn't 'swallowing it back down' just like saying "I'll respond back "...sigh...poor English drives me a little cray cray. Then after Clare finally had her 5 calorie snack, they had those fish pedicures. Side bar- how safe are those things..i mean hygenically speaking. I don't think those fish get autoclaved after each pedicure. Ewww...not sure how sanitary that is:)
Phew..after all that kraziness..it was back to the hotel for some telling and no kissing. Suddenly JP has a no fly zone over his lip area. Well, he's the Bachelor..and he calls the shots. ALL the ladies want a little kiss from JP...but wouldn't you think the serial kissing on the same night would just seem weird...some serious cross contamination of lip gloss. Poor Lauren asked for a kiss.and was denied..awww..the rejection..that's like landing on your a$$ after trying to do a triple sow cow and having to get up and smile for the crowd (can you tell i'm excited for Sochi?). JP couldn't resist Clare. Now JP is one confusing dude..he is intrigued by Sharleen and by Clare. I don't get it. What I really don't get is Clare's eyebrows. I think she does them like that on purpose. Even her eyebrows are not interesting to me.

Andi gets the rose!

Palatial cocktail party and rose ceremony.
Nikki is rocking the Geobukseon (a Korean warship) with both her negativity and the girl pact of letting girls sans roses only have time with JP. Anyone who has been around the Bachelor mansion block once or twice knows that one is only here for the right reasons..and that is for the Bachelor..therefore one must look out for numero uno. Nikki has JP time..the girls are displeased.
Elise is wearing a weird dress..(are those bedazzled gold spanks shorts under it?). Cassandra looks stunning in yellow....Alison has a lot of features on the back of her dress..and Lauren kind of looks like she has given up.

La rosa ceremonia
Elisa and Lauren ...take a moment and 12 hours to say your good bye  Asia...hello America. It's often a long convoluted journey to search for your Seoul mate. Sing it to me sistahs!

Next stop on the journey to true love..Vietnam!

Until next week...
me encanta este show!!!

I love Lucy

The show opens with JP appearing like a doting dad..feeding his child oceanside. I found it odd that he tried to put chicken in her mouth when she was kind of lying down. Camila likely doesn't have a problem with dysphagia, but one would normally feed a child that is feed a child who is not seated upright. But he gets her to have a piece of pollo before he goes off on his amphibious date.

Back at the manion,Chris Harrison in a poor sartorial choice...a quasi colour blocked - more like a two tone blue shirt. Odd..looked a little country but not really. Chris produced a date card...for Cassandra..Love is a Wild Ride.

Cassandra seems to get confused when she has a lot of thoughts in her head. They say that something needs to be repeat something 20 times to remember something..which is approximately the number of times Cassandra told the camera how long it was that she had a date.
Cassandra gets dropped off for her date..and they hop into a funny looking car. They go for a cruise..then..JP whips onto the sand..bad Venezuelan park job? Heck no, the car is also a jet ski/boat/floatation device. Ahh JP..first tobogganing sans helmet now cruising in your 'car boat' sans life jacket. The zip through the water..and off to a real boat...why? dunno..so they can jump into the water and swim around their car boat. They kiss..carside.

JP who is becoming known for trying to make people feel comfortable. He likes to look 'em in the eyes and tell them "I'm here, look at me".  Then he makes them do something to break the ice..and it's usually something Venezuelan..'cause that makes everyone feel at ease. JP takes Cassandra back home to cook for her (good move)..then the relaxing part..they are gong to dance! His way..the salsa..but Cassandra is former NBA dancer..so it should come naturally. What does Cassandra currently do?

Cassandra gets the rose!

Group date: Soccer
Ok. Sigh. JP looks looks pretty smokin' playing soccer. Sweat looks good on JP as he's playin with LA Galaxy players. Those are some pretty solid thighs, I mean soccer moves JP.
The girls play a little soccer..they get decent shorts..but all have gold sports bras. They play against eachother. Sharleen takes a hits..but nothing to damage her vocal career. JP helps out team blue.

Soccer is over..I think the red team Juan..I mean won!
JP says..time to get ready for the afterparty at the stadium. This is what I wonder about the Bachelor..so do the women bring all their stuff there and get ready at the Stadium. These girls must be expert packers. Did they full shower? Hmmm..I wonder about these details.
They look great..and hang with JP at the stadium..there's one on one time in the stands, on the field..and even in the kitchen (where Andi gets to kiss JP by a cooler in the short order area)...Kissing JP in a freezer would probably still be hot.
Sharleen and JP are on the field...I'm not sure what JP thinks about Sharleen. He says he has mondo.and class..but that white dress she had one kinda shouted Alexis clubwear to me.(Phase III West Ed for all you non-Edmontonians). She tells JP that it feels organic with him....hmm whaddya mean Sharleen  free-run? yes he is, pesticide free? hope so, Hormone free? (nope..heh heh)..ooohhhh she means natural. I wasn't sure JP would get it..but he did. So she tried to get her organic on with JP on the fake grass...she seemed a bit more into it than he did, she asked for a re-take.
Not natural enough to get the rose...Nikki was the natural choice!

Mac dad (JP) will make you (Chelsea) want to jump jump!!
JP comes to pick up Chelsea.and you guessed it...he wants to make he feel comfortable (aka do something he likes to do)..so they listen to some Spanish music and car dance. Then to further make her comfortable..they go eat some Venezuelan food..some arepas, some melted cheese and apparently Venezuelan orange juice. JP loves that she digs the food from back home. Naturally the next thing to do after a full stomach is to jump off a bridge (this is the doting dad right?).
Here comes the metaphor date! Love is about trust therefore (insert risky date) activity. In this case it is tandem bungee jumping off the bridge. JP comforts Chelsea and they jump!
Then after the jump..they clean up (where?) and head to city hall courtyard  for dinner alfresco. JP wants be loved by Camila and Chelsea just wants to be happy. Well that's enough for a rose..JP can tell she's maternal so a rose..but that's not all...we have another private concert! Ain't no salsa concert. JP tries anyway..apparently just like the polka, you can salsa to anything. JP is a vaquero!

The most important meal of the day

Well okay, the research doesn't support that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it's important that JP sees the girls without their rose face on..and surprises them with??!! you guessed it a Venezuealan breakfast..a round of arepas for everyone. Gotta say se ve muy bien en la cocina!
Surprise...no cocktail party..JP wants everyone to relax and have a pool party!!  A round of cheers for JP. The usual shenanigans at the pool party. Obvious kissings, a few meltdowns and some gossip. And you can bet your empanada that Renee will be counselling someone in the bathroom. Chris comes in (with a better shirt) to say there still will be a rose ceremony.  The girls change..and it's time for the ceremony. Eliza  looked crazily bedazzled in that dress. What does he see in her? Lucy and Kristy get sent home. Kristy said it's really hard for her to open up, I think it's really hard for her to walk in heels.

Best line goes to Lucy.."I hope everyone gets what they are looking for because everyone deserves it"..
Awww Lucy..one love.

Until next week..me encanta este show!

Skate, run and pose

We know that JP loves action..so we got some action packed dates. No, not that action..that comes on the FOD.

We had two uno en una fecha and then a fecha de grupo

Clare - the hairdresser. If there is one profession that would serve you well on the Bachelor it would be being a hairdresser. You could deal with any climate they throw at you..and you'd know how to do your own updo. Clare had casually elegant hair, perfectly wavy for her date. JP shows up..with a blindfold.isn't that kind of a reverse 50  Shades of Grey move.(actually dunno..i didn't read the book)..and one girl from the mansion exclaims "I can't believe my eyes, he put a blind fold on her". Whah??? Maybe he didn't want her to see that he was a bad driver.

And where does he whisk her off to..Edmonton!!..oh no..a Winter Wonderland in LA. Newsflash Clare we have killer toboggan hills and ice skating here. The tobbogan unsafely together down a faux hill, together on one toboggan and sans helmets...hopefully they wear protection in later episodes. The irony of a fake winter wonderland on a reality show...this show is tooo much!
Next winter activity..skating!!! Clare can't skate and I think I can skate better than JP..and where did they get those ugly skates. Theylooked like 90s figure skaters.
Clare thinks this is the perfect fairy tale (as opposed to all those imperfect ones). Then then play hide and seek among the fake Christmas tress and JP is having SO MUCH FUN! Clare is monologuing that she can't remember the last time she had this much fun with a guy..but then she also stated she never dates. So uh , i'm not sure what that means.

Amid the wintry fun, there is...a hot tub!! Naturally...and they both have swim wear..and Clare is massaging JP. Pretty standard first date...Clare cleverly states that it is funny that he brought her here..because she was an ice queen..then the camera pans to the snow dripping.

The fun is not done yet..because in the distance Josh Kragitch (??) is singing. Who..Then what happens might be the most awkward private dance/concert party ever. I think JP wants to break out into a twerking salsa and Clare is moving the beat of her melting heart. Next date please!!!



La electricidad!!!
Next date..Kat..can you feel the electricity. JP takes her on a jet plane...she's thrilled!! Miami????New York?? Nope Salt Lake City in running shorts. I think she flat lined momentarily. They are going on a fun run. I mean fun dance. I mean run to dance music with glow in the dark clothing. They stop during the route and dance. And JP likes to dance dance dance..and so does Cat..she more like grinds..and on two occasions I saw serious dance face. They get to go on stage...where JP gives here the rose and they grind some more.  When life gives you roses..grind them into rose petal water. My personal fave part of this date when there were slow motion shots of them dancing.

Group date
These typically involve something humiliating. The group dynamics leads to competition and the 'activity' typically occurs in a state of undress and some women get closer to JP than others.
And true to formulaic group date fashion...a photo shoot..with dogs to raise money for pet rescue.

The big question.would Andi take it all off....the big naked dilemma....and Yes she did ..for the dogs and for JP..because he did do...he is such a good sporty.and super sporty...
To celebrate..a pool party...for more states of undress...Renee plays counselor to Victoria..Renee is pretty sweet. Kelly the dog person totally lacked compassion for Victoria..who clearly had more issues than drunkeness..and Nikki the nurse wasn't too compassionate..i would have expected it from a nurse, not a realtor..but c'est la vie or ask es la vida! Victoria stomps around..and tells some camera guy she's going home..she gets sent to a hotel. JP tried to comfort her outside the bathroom stall. Ewww...such an unsanitary place to site. JP asks the women to make sure she gets home safely.


Next day
JP goes to check on her. Very nice..what was not so nice..was the hotel where she was staying. What a fall from grace. From mansion to motel..or whatever that ugly place was. The curtains in the hallway, yellow rug and green elevator door. I'm guessing it wasn't much cleaner than the floor she sat on in the bathroom at the pool party. JP nicely states that she wouldn't fit into his family life. That's right JP. Keep it classy:)


Rose Ceremony
Cassandra weeps. Renee consoles again. Cassandra is reviewing her child's photos..so people still develop photos..I guess she can't have an iPhone on set. Cassandr and Renee go the bathroom for privacy..lots of weeping in the bathroom here. JP comes to console her. JP likes Cassandra and says he wouldn't keep her from her child if he wasn't interested..good point...he also asked her..how do you know I'm the right guy for you? JP..sometimes you make sense.

the rest was unremarkable..Charlene the Canadian apologized for being standoffish and ungrateful (how Canadian of her). Amy interviewed JP...whoa she's enthusiastic.

in other surprising news..free spirit lucy got the rose. I still think she's an actress. Chelsea's dress was not the most flattering and oddly I liked Cassandra's earrings. Maybe it was the primary colours.

Well..until next week! Me encanta este show!!

27 dresses - 27 vestidos

Yay!! It's baaa-aack..the Bachelor!! and the Rose Report or should I say el  informe de la rosa.

And we have Juan Pablo!! When I heard it was Juan Pablo, I had my doubts about him. He looks fabulous running shirtless and he can handle a soccer ball like nobody's business..but I"m not sure how much more there is to him. His daughter Camila Valentia is adorns...he is portrayed as a caring dad..but I see his parents do all of the caregiving. The one redeeming thing he did say was in the preview of future shows "i'm no here to make a fool of myself"..excellent..some pride..

The show starts with some vignettess of Camila and Juan Pablo..them playing and Juan Pablo (JP)narrating how important Camila is in his life.
He wants to find a wife..and have two more kids..and he' believes in destiny and in being open minded. JP is the perfect candidate for this show.

Sean makes a  Cameo (Word). He shares some wisdom.like having a kissing game plan, keep an open mind and don't get focussed too early. Sean said Catherine wasn't on his radar until a few weeks in (I'm sure she appreciated that being told on national TV). Sean says that when the limos role in that's when it 'gets real'. I appreciated the irony.


After the meeting with Sean, JP has to take a shower and really wash his chest:) It's important to have a clean chest. Shower scene - muy caliente.

A few bachelorette home scenes were featured. Renee the single mom with amazing abs, Amy the slightly off massage therapist who says "I want a man who wants to be rubbed by me"...then she is shown at her table with a meal saying in an infantalizing way showing a fork with food to the camera "I  made you breakfast'. Weird.

Andi..the pretty prosecutor has a faux Judge Judy like scene in court and then there is a shot out of court where she doffed her blazer just in her feminine blouse saying she has a romantic side too. Uh because you can't be smart and romantic at the same time..like they are mutually exclusive?? Good thing the show clarifies it.
Nikki seems like  a sweet pediatric nurse. Whoa.then sad Lauren who tells us that her fiance broke up with her over the phone..she says she's tough. That veneer gets cracked later in the Bachelor mansion.Valerie seems like a sweet personal trainer from the country until she states she could scratch people's eyes out. Yikes.

Limos arrive
JP is looking right in his black suit and skinny tie. He's ready for the 25...no 27 women!!! Bonus time at the Bachelor.
As the cars pull up you can hear the women screaming. Sigh. Pull yourselves together ladies.

What was most evident was the lack of original conversation..most went
Woman "Hi..you're so good looking..I'm so happy its you..the only reason I'm here is because it's you".
JP "Hi..thank you . you look beautiful..thank you"

time 27 women.

There were some attempts to be remarkable..the sciene educator said she was going to do a chemistry experiment but threw away the test tubes (littering :( ) and said how about we just have chemistry.

Kelly brought her dog.
Cassandrea said nothing.
Nikki the nurse brought a stethoscope..nice tie in to her career..also an opportunity for him to focus on her cleavage. Clever.
Elise dazzled him....with her dress. That was some cray sequin/beading going on.
Ashley cute gold star idea..bad updo.
Lucy had a serious down-do. Labelled as a 'free spirit"..I think she's a plant..like an actress. Just a hunch.
Kylie is an interior decorator..but i though her red hair clashed with her Barbie dress. Was it just me?
Christie's dress...was a BCBG esqe dress with a halter..butit kinda looked like a wedding dress...
Charlene the opera singer seemed super nervous but her lilac dress looked gorgeous...and finally Andi looked beautiful..she had a nice ombre hair going on..she kinda reminds me of  a Penelope Cruz.

Cocktail party.
The mood was tense. JP tried to have a dance party..but it seemed super short lived. JP loves to dance..that's his thing.
Almost everyone was busy swooning over or talking about JP. I can't recall who brought the puzzle of JP and Camila with a missing puzzle piece. Super weird.
Amy the masseusse happend to have a massage table handy and gave JP a massage..with oil and through his suit. Bad idea. She seemed super creepy. I was not sure of the type of fabric her dress was made off..foil? leftover New Years decorations? It looks like it would retain heat.

JP gave an example where he was not super intuitive. He couldn't read Charlene at all. He read her standoffishness as nervousness..even when he came bearing a rose..she said "seriously?"...She says off camera that she didn't really feel chemistry..but she accepted the rose from the hot soccer player..that was big of her:)

Rose Ceremonia
I could feel the tension through my small non HD TV. My only surprises that he gave the rose to Lucy (free spirit) and Christie (bandage dress). OH! and poor Kyle mistakenly stepping forward  to get the rose when he called Kat..kinda reminds me of the grade 9 music awards when they called Carol..then i stood up..and it was another Karol...so embarrassing...at least it was not on national TV.
I hope Lauren gets the counselling she needs and learns that a dude wanting to marry you should not make you happy nor does him breaking up with you destroy you...god speed Lauren.


Until next week...Me encanta este show!!!

The most dramatic conclusion: Part deux

Well..here we go part two.
I don't like rollercoasters...let alone emotional rollercoasters. This wasn't really exhilirating..just exhausting.
I love the Bachelor.but this really felt like a long good bye. I didn't really look forward to seeing who she would pick...rather it was just trepidation about how she would pick up the pieces.

So let's pick up where we left off in Antigua.
Des is left with Drew and Chris.
There's a Rose Ceremony...Des tearfully goes through it, telling them that if they accept the rose that they should really want to be there. Meanwhile I'm wondering if Des wants to be there.
It all feels a bit hollow...like she's really still crying for Brooks.

So both Drew and Chris accept and try to comfort her...'cause the last dude left.

There are times where i shake my head and wonder why I watch this weird show..then I remember that I love it..and then I soldier on.

Well..Des is uncertain she wants Drew to meet the family..so she decides to have a date on horseback to help her decide. Smelling like a hot horse is never a good thing.Des approaches Drew on horseback. Then next shot..another horse magically appears and her and Drew go for a gallop. They have some idle chat. Drew tells des he has spent most of the time in Antigua in his room. Odd.  They sit on the sand..and Des immediately tells him. There is nothing bridle (bridal) about this horsey date. It  sees Drew being bucked off off the show. You know what is awesome about Drew, he told her she didn't have to apologize for not loving him. He did such a great job handling the news, compared to how she handled Brooks giving her the kiss off.

Fade to light blue mini van...Drew leaves..

I'm thinking that Chris will meet a similar fate.

This show felt super long..especially with  with 'Bachelor Nation' weighing in. I didn't really care what a random studio audience member thought of what was going to happen.

Chris
Well..gotta say..both Chris and Des look great in bathing suits. They look like the couples you see on couple resort ads. They both have great abs.  Chris and Des hop on a boat..I get the feeling that Des is drinking a bit more to open off...the conversation sees boring and strained..the highlight of the boat trip was seeing a jumping fish.
Des them comes to Chris place...He gives her a journal! But he writes in it...an inscription, a quote, and his poems..who knows if there is any room left for her to write. She responds cooing "you're soo cute". Hmm..wonder if he's going to get a blue mini van escort off the island.

Family meeting.
Nate's back!! Did he get more tattoos?? The family meeting was mainly Nate talking. What is up with that? Nate actually isn't really that tough. He asks Chris.."Why should she choose you". Inwardly "well, he's the only one left". During the family date, I still wasn't convinced she would pick him.
Oddly, after meeting Chris for only 1 meeting, Des' dad said gives him permission.

Decision day.
Still I"m not sure she can pick Chris...
Chris picks a huge ring from Neil Lane's collection and he's ready to propose.
Chris arrives, unshaven. I think he tries to imitate Adam Levine..with the skinny suit and face hair. His facial hair doesn't seem to make his face look bigger.
Chris is about to propose....and then she interrupts him! Whoa..I"m thinking she's going to reject him..but she has to tell him about Brooks. She cleverly says she was blindsided by Brooks leaving, but that just illuminated what Chris was..someone who was always there...That was pretty clever...Chris is relieved and continues to propose. She says yes..
And she'll have a lifetime of chiropractic adjustments...

Dramatic yes...will this last..i dunno.Maybe she loves that he loves her...i dunno...

but what I do know is..
I still love this show.

ATR (after the Rose)

Des wears an oddly studded white dress
Des loves her ring.
Brooks seems like he's on anti-anxiety medication
Drew says the most lovely words..but seems like he has some anger underneath..but he said some pretty textbook k
Des and Chris look really good together....like they should be in picture frames..
Speaking of frames..Chris wrote ANOTHER poem..in a frame no less...

And the next bachelor is....
Juan Pablo
YEAH!!!
te quiero Juan Pablo

Most dramatic conclusion of the Bachelorette ever!!!!...kinda...part 1

I'm emotionally exhausted..and it's only part 1.

I can't bring myself to pay true homage to Drew and Chris' date. Partly because Des is living a lie with those two and partly because nothing original happened on those dates...

Drew
Drew and Des drive to Betty's hope. Well at least Betty has it for this date because it is fading fast for the dudes that are not Brooks. They kiss..ad nauseum, even he has to pull over to kiss her. They go to a fake festival with 8 other people present where there is dancing and limbo-ing. They collect gifts for what Drew believes will adorn their future home: maracas, leaves fashioned into hearts and roses. They have a picnic. Someone forgets to cut the pineapple, so rugged Drew cuts it sans cutting board all by himself. They eat fruit. She loves and trusts Drew. She loves his passion. Mother Nature rains on Des' plans to have dinner on the beach. What was with Des' geometric trippy pants? I think someone lost her evening dress and handed her those pants.
 They cut right to the FOD where Drew accepts the card since he's already in the place. They have dessert on the bed.They have to kick the camera crew out. They have lots of passionate and intimate talking to do.


Meanwhile, back in Boise Brooks has to chat with mama and sister about his confusion. Speaking of confusion, whose house were they at the hometowns? I thought it was him mom's house, but then he flies to Boise to talk to his family. Details. Brooks doesn't know what to do. He's been thinking about his exotic date and the idea of proposing makes him feel uncomfortable. I really like how Brooks takes this so seriously and reflects on what he has to do..but if you feel uncomfortable about proposing you don't need Chris Harrison nor your mama to tell you it is not a good idea. Brooks' mom seems like such a good listener..his sister is great too....but wearing a bit too much eye makeup..


Chris
Roses are red
Roses are red
Chris' dates, I really dread.

Chris says he's truly, madly deeply in love with Des. yawn. Des meets up with Chris wearing a bikini top, pants and kind of a shredded vest thing. Someone had island fever picking her wardrobe. I mean Des looks great in a bikini..but the shredded vest looked a tad complicated.
Woot..helicopter date! Chris is afraid of heights. Downer. But with Des holding his hand he gets through it. They fly to Barbuda island. An island that looks like it is has no running water and like they are about to do some island camping. They roll around, kiss and then eat fruit.
Back to Antigua..Des has another unflattering dress and Chris looks like  he might have borrowed one of Des' tops. They kiss at the table..he accepts the FOD card..where ..Chris wants to watch the stars .
PS Chris wrote Des some prose. yawn again..

Brooks
Brooks arrives to chat with Chris. Chris Harrison should bump Dr. Phil as America's #1 therapist. He is  amazing at  eliciting emotion and words from difficult situations. He uses pauses and silence effortlessly. He asks open-ended and tough questions without being mean...and just in time..he lends support to the person in the 'hot seat'.
After that conversation with Chris, Brooks is going to tell Des.
Now that was the long good bye.
Brooks, dressed appropriately in blue, approaches Des. She immediately knows something is wrong. She demands that he talks to her. And then sadness ensues. As he talks, she just knows. At this point there is nothing he can say. He apologizes, tells her he wishes it was different. She tries to pull some emotional blackmail- you're breaking my heart, I know what it is like to love but not for it to be reciprocated, I have never felt completely loved, I wanted you to meet my family. That is all sprinkled with copious crying.
Des. Make. It. Stop.
She walks him down a road..but she doesn't want him to hug her, but then she hugs him. No joke..painful to watch. Then she goes and finally walks away, back to the dock where she was dumped. Brooks seems to have a mini-meltdown among the palms. I thought he was going to back to her.
I totally give him cred for not going through with the  FOD...and telling her sooner than later.

I know Des is already feeling pretty low..but why would she have the FOD with  the  sensitive Abercrombie guy and  TS Eliot? She said she knew that it was Brooks. I feel badly for the other guys.
This ain't gonna be pretty.
But  you know what it will be
The most dramatic conclusion in Bachelorette history.
Until next week's part 2..
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

MTA

Men Tell All...the least favourite show of the season.

It is a show that could be 30 minutes. This is the show to watch if you want to re-capture any moment.

One thing this show likes to recapture are previous 'successful' bachelor couples..or even previous popular contestants.

Trista was there...wow..they get their money's worth from her. She's like the matriarch of the franchise..so much so that she deems who is 'deserving' of happiness. Sigh. Trista is tiresome. Ali, Emily and the also tiresome Ashley was there. Molly and Jason also show up to Bachelorette viewing parties...All I can think of is, do people dress up to watch the show. Not me..particularly this episode..i actually folded laundry, exfoliated and had a mud mask on for a good part of the show. There was not too much glamour going on in my condo watching the show.  But I did get my laundry folded.

I watched Men Tell All..mainly to see if Zak was okay.

Men telling all is really a misnomer. It really was a recapitulation, combined with video flashbacks.

Juan Pablo was lovely and a fan favourite. I doubt he'll be the next bachelor...but he is adorable and I love how committed he is to his daughter.

James and Mikey are two peas in large bods....they look and act all puffed up. James interview was not illuminating at all..likely because he's not very bright. Mikey came close to punching out Kasey. Kasey did a great job of structuring his arguments. The thing I find funny about James and Mikey's conversations about women back in Chicago...is that they keep talking about tall and wealthy women...kinda gives me the  impression that they are both gold diggers. Ewww..those two are so distasteful.

Speaking of which, Ben also leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He speaks of his aggression in pursuing someone...sounds very unromantic and very much like a game...and you guessed it ..'not for the right reasons'. And did Ben's baby mommy really find Dan in Vegas and  talk smack about Ben? Who knows..and really..who cares??

Whoa Zack. That guy is heavy duty...and actually comes across as a bit desperate...did he seem sad or dare I say a bit pathetic? And how did Chris get Des' diary that Zak bought for her? And then Chris read Zak's poem that was written in invisible ink? Seriously? This sounds so adolescent. Well..why write it in invisible ink, when it is going to be read on international television. Super odd.

Zak tells us he's 31...and he's a bit late to the dating party...and he doesn't want to see like the one off creepy guy...Well he does come off super strong..and he had to have a strong finish...and decided to end with a song that he wrote. And of course her performed it. Zak really is too much. I can't tell if Zak is sad for Des or sad for himself...not sure.

But what..what is it I hear...The most dramatic season ending ever? Chris Harrison says it is the most dramatic..and he guarantees it.

It seems like Des will go home empty handed. Literally.

Until next week

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!