It's the Bachelorette..season #2456
Sombre intro..Eric Hill...a bachelor on the show died..and the season is dedicated to him..
I'm not sure about Andi...I like the way she tried to get Juan Pablo to communicate...but with all her cross examining skills...she couldn't get him to talk.
Well...eees okay..because Andi's got the gig.
She's quit her job, moved to LA...to find her husband!!! (sarcastic exclamation marks)
Andi is pretty enthused about the process. The show opens with Andi's looks from business to bad-a$$. They show her in her office, err court wear..then she goes on ride alongs with police officers wearing a really oversized windbreaker...I guess they don't make small windbreakers down south.
But..back in the law court (with noone besides her, the judge, a court reporter..she asks to approach the bench..then her next shot is her packing up her degree and a binder to shelve the career for awhile) 'cause ladies finding a man is a full-time job.
Andi arrives in LA..and her sister arrives too..to..umm..help her decide between the bedazzled or the bejweled dress. Andi ditches the dress that makes her look like an Oscar statuette..and goes the jewelled one. Andi likes to sparkle. I loved her gold-yellow eyeshadow. So the sister helped her with the zipper..then she disappeared.
Well..now Andi goes to meet the guys.her previous job as a crown prosector (mainly drug cases) was to put the bad guys away...kinda like the weeding out (pun intended:) of the guys not suitable for her..not sure if she's going to put on a windbreaker for that..
Oh..not sure if it's just me..but didn't Andi say "I could find my husband her about 15 times?" Maybe she's got that on her vision board.
And here come the hodge podge of guys from the limo...quite a selection from Boyz II Men. The remarkable ones were..
Marcus..the sport medicine manager..i missed it .what does he manage? He gave her a pitch..he has a lot to give and offer..and God will forever. Whoa..that's a lotta medicine Marcus. He looks good in his suit.
JJ Pantsaprenuer: ..he's excited to be on this "love quest"...seriously..this show is too much..(I wonder who will wear the pants in the relationship)
Marquel- also a sporty dude..but I'm not sure what he does..but he's super cute..and I loved his shirt Gingham style!!!! He says he was her to complement her...aww...smooth as buttah Marquel..I even love his name!
Tasos..the wedding event coordinator....how appropriate.. He's a bit much..he wants to visit lovers bridge in Paris....but they put a lock on the mansion gate..and then Andi throws it in the fountain...
Cody..peronsal trainer with a turned up sport jacket.comes in pushing the limo..Andi jokes about what kind of personal trainer he is if he is huffing after pushing the limo. Ahem..he was pushing a limo...a bit critical Andi..he's beefy but he's enthusiastic..he seems like he would require a bit of a makeover...he's probably a bit lost when it comes to fashion unless he's in an Underarmour store.
Dude I mean Steven-the snowboard guy..i get longish hair..but he needed a bit of a clean up..
Rudie..Attorney..."May i approach the bachelorette"..so awkward..i felt he would be approaching the exit
Carl...firefighter Fort Lauderdale..:)
Jason..ugent care physician..with a Katie Holmes bob..made a diagnosis of a fever..because Andi looks hot...i had a bout of nausea
Emil...pronounce anal with m..ummm...not sure what to say about that..but I think he was going to get a swift kick in the Emil
Brett..hairstylist with a lamp because his mom told him not to arrive empty handed..how about using a five finger discount...what do you say.."Thanks for stealing for me" sigh...maybe it is a fulltime job to find a husband..
Ron- beverage sales manager.. tells her he's going to go inside and"gonna go grab a drink"..he's always on the job
Bradley...opera singer...looked slightly dishevelled..his top shirt button was unbuttoned..maybe he doesn't like to restrict his pharynx...do you think he has mondo like Sharleen did?
Josh B.. the telecommunications manager..what is that? Telus call agent?
Nick s..pro golfer seems like he's got somethin'..maybe he's got game?
Brian..starts with a wow..basketball coach from Pennsylvania..he seemed cute and sincere..I think I like him
Andrew i'm a social media marketer..most adorable smile..
Mike..bartender aka camps..he has not seen a hairstylist in awhile
Eric..explorer..cute..he gave her Peruvian dolls..he's cute..i feel sad :(
Josh..former pro baseball player..he seems confident but whoa! I'm blown away by his pearly whites
Cocktail party
Marquel...who is adorable..brings a basket of cookies and has her taste them. Then he has her focus on the black and white cookie. Love him.
Nick has a really tight shirt on. Pantaspreneur gave her the first pair of pants he made. Tasos speaks limited French with her..and tells her he wants "juice with ice cubes". I think Andrew and Patrick have some mutual admiration and perhaps a budding bromance. Josh seems sweet.
Wait a minute..there's an intruder!!!
There is a trespasser who wants to meet Andi..and it's Chris! And he really wants to meet her..Umm why didn't he apply. What a weirdo stalker.
Chris brings this option to Andi...Andi doesn't want to offend the 25 men so she declines...she likes to follow the rules.
Back at the party.
She talks to Marcus who seems culturally confused..he's Polish..his first language..but he doesn't speak Polish..but grew up with German..but doesn't know much about that either. I'm suddenly more impressed with the guy who can ask for juice with ice cubes en francais. Marcus looks better when he doesn't speak.
Oddly, Andi awards the first impression rose to Nick who made a lasting impression on her.
Rose ceremony..
I agreed with most of the choices. I kinda think Cody might be a loose canon..but maybe when he gets back into he active wear he'll feel less uptight. Happy Marquel and Josh M got a rose.
Josh B the telecommunications guy did not fare so well...he gave an unflattering monologue...who said "this is stupid..and I'm embarassing the f$#% of myself"...Ah Josh...whatcha gonna do. Hopefully as Telus says "The future is friendly"..godspeed.
Whoa..looks like there is drama this season.
Until the next sparkly episode...I love this show!!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
What's in a name - a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet
Juan Pablo - any other name I could think of him would not be sweet
Whoa..JP..this ees not okay at least in my books.
Granted..when he first stepped on the wet Bachelor mansion paving stones I thought a yi yiiii (long I sound) muy caliente.
But each episode he slipped a little and fell out of my favour.
I simply can't deal with his honesty. Call me judgy but I"m not a fan of a quasi-buff, attentive though not thought provoking who is always ready to have fun, be honest and straightforward. Ugh. Super tiresome. Can't deal with the honesty. But you gotta hand it to him, he's always salsa-ready.
And you can't blame anyone for the girls for not seeing the signs, let alone the huge red flags that his cousin and parents were waving on wildly on his behalf. I think they both had their rose colored glasses or contacts on.
Clare's visit
JP has one pretty attractive family. Mind you, you juxtapose anyone who shows care, attention to JP and they start to look beautiful. I found myself contemplating whether I could date Rodolfo. Cute accent...so he's got braces..if he came to Edmonton, he could see Dr. Mar and get that sorted out..and be like Luba and be all confident in his smile.
So Clare comes..looking lovely in purple..they sit for a family meal. JP's dad pulls out her chair and JP is feeding Camilla. I think if Camilla can put on a dance recital she can handle a fork. I"m not child development expert, but I think JP missed out that Camilla can feed herself milestone
JP's mom outright told Clare that JP is rude (foreshadow to helicopter date). Clare finds his honesty refreshing. JP's dad was so loving and told Clare she would always have a father in him. (almost a tear..sniff..te quiero JP's dad)
Nikki
Nikki looked like her makeup was melting off in but she looked lovely in her dress. They all greet her warmly. JP's mom tells Nikki he is charismatic but not easy. JP's mom also tells Nikki that JP likes ot watch a lot of TV. (Fun! watching sports that JP wants to watch on TV...i cant' think of anything else more mind numbing..oh yes I can..hearing JP talk about himself) Meanwhile dreamy Rodolfo asks her how stalwart she is if JP talks about walking out on the relationship. Nikki..get the stethescope out of your ears..stop listening to hearbeats and start listening to words..these comments are symptoms of a big problem...JP...Your Rx would be to get into that white bus and get the hell off the island....but Noooo..she thinks she can handle JP. They are sounding the fire alarms but Nikki is choosing to walk toward the burning ring of fire. (and nope..not foreshadowing to a big ole Neil Lane diamond)
Final Dates.
Okay ladies (and dudes)....if you find yourself insulted, unsure or in tears after a date..that again is great indication that this is not the right person for you.
What was with Clare's yellow shorts. I get they were cut offs but they looked like they were freshly shorn with errant string flapping in the wind. What Clare should have cut off is her date with JP when he insulted her. I was never on team Clare only because I can't get behind her "this is a my fairy tale, this is what I"ve been waiting for my whole life (read engagement)" Like really, your life's pinnacle is your engagement? But I felt sick for her when she said she felt insulted and disrespected.
But she chose to hang on to his feeble words about kids and living in Sacramento as enough of an indication that he cared about her.
ugh.
Nikki gets on a boat. Her and JP lie on the beach and talk about their life together. Since JP doesn't have a lot of foresight..the convesation is short..and Nikki looks amazing in a bikini. Back at her place she gives him a card and a photo. JP has to read the card aloud. NIkki declares her love in nice block printing..and then JP kisses her on the forehead and picks up his stuff and leaves.
Nikki is crying (but dont' worry she feels better the next day because she wants to get a proposal)
Final Rose Ceremony
Both girls wear blue (perhaps because they will both be disappointed)..and both wear awful earrings that looks like the bought at the hotel gift shop. The both have to take an additional boat ride to get to JP..this JP is so hard to get to (and go get). I'd be ticked if I did my hair only for it to be blown in 60 km/h winds.
Clare..off the boat first...because JP isn't so good with conversation Clare has to start it! Then JP starts talking...and he says he wishes the earth would suck him in. Oh..not so smooth...then he says he has to do what's best for him and say good bye. Clare denies him a hug (gets clapping from Bachelor nation)..and then says he's not the man she thought he was. Then turns around to say i'd never want my child to have a father like you . and then kinda stormed off as best as she could in heels.
Nikki is next.she still hasn't found the right primer/finishing powder to keep her makeup adhered. She has a thigh high slit and can pull it off. She has to start the conversation..the eventually JP says I love your honesty, who you are..then says he promised her dad not to propose unless he was sure..Then he says I have a ring in my pocket and I'm not going to give it to you. Nikki is nodding...i'm not sure why..but she looks a bit bewildered. He offers up a rose..she accepts and then tells her not to get cranky (oh i'm sure it's a really funny inside joke). This JP is such a funny dude.
This was way too much JP for one evening..but according to after the rose..the good news is that JP wants privacy..and he and Nikki will be starting their relationship. She loves him..Chris grills JP about his feelings for Nikki...all the while I think it is just insulting to Nikki because Chris is trying to get JP to say it because that's what everyone wants to hear..Props to JP for not caving..and if Nikki wants to stay with JP because it feels right..well then all right all right all right...
on a positive empowering note...Clare did not want couch time with JP. She had her closure and she said this was the first time she was able to stand up to a man....well..when the student is ready the teacher will come..and JP taught her that 'ain't nobody got time for dat'.
Namaste Clare..
Andi...godspeed on your bachelorette journey...
until next time (May 2014) I Love this show!!!!!!!!!
Whoa..JP..this ees not okay at least in my books.
Granted..when he first stepped on the wet Bachelor mansion paving stones I thought a yi yiiii (long I sound) muy caliente.
But each episode he slipped a little and fell out of my favour.
I simply can't deal with his honesty. Call me judgy but I"m not a fan of a quasi-buff, attentive though not thought provoking who is always ready to have fun, be honest and straightforward. Ugh. Super tiresome. Can't deal with the honesty. But you gotta hand it to him, he's always salsa-ready.
And you can't blame anyone for the girls for not seeing the signs, let alone the huge red flags that his cousin and parents were waving on wildly on his behalf. I think they both had their rose colored glasses or contacts on.
Clare's visit
JP has one pretty attractive family. Mind you, you juxtapose anyone who shows care, attention to JP and they start to look beautiful. I found myself contemplating whether I could date Rodolfo. Cute accent...so he's got braces..if he came to Edmonton, he could see Dr. Mar and get that sorted out..and be like Luba and be all confident in his smile.
So Clare comes..looking lovely in purple..they sit for a family meal. JP's dad pulls out her chair and JP is feeding Camilla. I think if Camilla can put on a dance recital she can handle a fork. I"m not child development expert, but I think JP missed out that Camilla can feed herself milestone
JP's mom outright told Clare that JP is rude (foreshadow to helicopter date). Clare finds his honesty refreshing. JP's dad was so loving and told Clare she would always have a father in him. (almost a tear..sniff..te quiero JP's dad)
Nikki
Nikki looked like her makeup was melting off in but she looked lovely in her dress. They all greet her warmly. JP's mom tells Nikki he is charismatic but not easy. JP's mom also tells Nikki that JP likes ot watch a lot of TV. (Fun! watching sports that JP wants to watch on TV...i cant' think of anything else more mind numbing..oh yes I can..hearing JP talk about himself) Meanwhile dreamy Rodolfo asks her how stalwart she is if JP talks about walking out on the relationship. Nikki..get the stethescope out of your ears..stop listening to hearbeats and start listening to words..these comments are symptoms of a big problem...JP...Your Rx would be to get into that white bus and get the hell off the island....but Noooo..she thinks she can handle JP. They are sounding the fire alarms but Nikki is choosing to walk toward the burning ring of fire. (and nope..not foreshadowing to a big ole Neil Lane diamond)
Final Dates.
Okay ladies (and dudes)....if you find yourself insulted, unsure or in tears after a date..that again is great indication that this is not the right person for you.
What was with Clare's yellow shorts. I get they were cut offs but they looked like they were freshly shorn with errant string flapping in the wind. What Clare should have cut off is her date with JP when he insulted her. I was never on team Clare only because I can't get behind her "this is a my fairy tale, this is what I"ve been waiting for my whole life (read engagement)" Like really, your life's pinnacle is your engagement? But I felt sick for her when she said she felt insulted and disrespected.
But she chose to hang on to his feeble words about kids and living in Sacramento as enough of an indication that he cared about her.
ugh.
Nikki gets on a boat. Her and JP lie on the beach and talk about their life together. Since JP doesn't have a lot of foresight..the convesation is short..and Nikki looks amazing in a bikini. Back at her place she gives him a card and a photo. JP has to read the card aloud. NIkki declares her love in nice block printing..and then JP kisses her on the forehead and picks up his stuff and leaves.
Nikki is crying (but dont' worry she feels better the next day because she wants to get a proposal)
Final Rose Ceremony
Both girls wear blue (perhaps because they will both be disappointed)..and both wear awful earrings that looks like the bought at the hotel gift shop. The both have to take an additional boat ride to get to JP..this JP is so hard to get to (and go get). I'd be ticked if I did my hair only for it to be blown in 60 km/h winds.
Clare..off the boat first...because JP isn't so good with conversation Clare has to start it! Then JP starts talking...and he says he wishes the earth would suck him in. Oh..not so smooth...then he says he has to do what's best for him and say good bye. Clare denies him a hug (gets clapping from Bachelor nation)..and then says he's not the man she thought he was. Then turns around to say i'd never want my child to have a father like you . and then kinda stormed off as best as she could in heels.
Nikki is next.she still hasn't found the right primer/finishing powder to keep her makeup adhered. She has a thigh high slit and can pull it off. She has to start the conversation..the eventually JP says I love your honesty, who you are..then says he promised her dad not to propose unless he was sure..Then he says I have a ring in my pocket and I'm not going to give it to you. Nikki is nodding...i'm not sure why..but she looks a bit bewildered. He offers up a rose..she accepts and then tells her not to get cranky (oh i'm sure it's a really funny inside joke). This JP is such a funny dude.
This was way too much JP for one evening..but according to after the rose..the good news is that JP wants privacy..and he and Nikki will be starting their relationship. She loves him..Chris grills JP about his feelings for Nikki...all the while I think it is just insulting to Nikki because Chris is trying to get JP to say it because that's what everyone wants to hear..Props to JP for not caving..and if Nikki wants to stay with JP because it feels right..well then all right all right all right...
on a positive empowering note...Clare did not want couch time with JP. She had her closure and she said this was the first time she was able to stand up to a man....well..when the student is ready the teacher will come..and JP taught her that 'ain't nobody got time for dat'.
Namaste Clare..
Andi...godspeed on your bachelorette journey...
until next time (May 2014) I Love this show!!!!!!!!!
Monday, March 3, 2014
Women Tell Not Very Much
Sometimes I skip this episode. Historically, the women aren't very nice to each other and there are a lot of montages of unflattering moments. It's not the most uplifting of television viewing.
But first, we have a Bachelor success story and we all know that the Bachelor likes to celebrate their (few) success stories. I think we've examined every bit of Trista and Ryan...then Molly and Jason and now Sean and Katherine. They came on to tell everyone how happy they are. Katherine didn't seem as gushy as usual. And the fireworks comment. TMI.
Then there was another another odd movie promo..last week Fast and Furious..this week Muppets Most Wanted. JP makes a cameo in the promo...not suprisingly he did a good job looking quizzical. In other interesting news, Chris Harrison was trying to rock some scruff. The previous sentence sounded as awkward as scruff looks on Chris Harrison.
The girls really didn't turn on each other, they mainly turned on Juan Pablo. Well except for Sharleen and Renee. Sharleen probably is thinking that would be a good strategy for her to appear different and above this process. I think she also had to say some nice things to soften some of her comments "I wish I was dumber"...and she explained that statement by saying she wishes she didn't think so much. Yeah right. She looked very pretty.
And Renee..Renee is usually the nice one. During Rennee's couch time with Chris she said "we were behind"...that sounds like game talk to me. This Bachelor process must be exhausting. Sidebar- I think Renee is pretty, but I"m not sure why her makeup repertoire consists of bronzer, mascara..and some ill chosen coral shade of lipstick (good call Anto). I think Renee is going for minimalist but it sometimes looks like 'just got out of bed'. And she's coyly said 'maaaay beee" when Chris asked her if she was in a relationship not sure why she didn't answer yes or no. Well that's good..glad she's happy..(not that you need a dude to be happy, but I think Renee really wants to find love)
The jist of the complaints is that JP wasn't straight forward. Well, I think not kissing someone you are interested in is straight forward. Lauren dimly stated that JP should act engaged..but if you don't want tsomeone to be fake why would by pretend to be engaged when you're not. Then Lucy the free spirit added that JP should have acted like he was in an individual relationship with everyone? Huh? No entiendo Lucy.
Andi toned down her commentary. She conceded she was interested in him, but then she felt insulted and disrespected..and chose to sleep off the rest of the FOD.
Cassandra chastised JP for taking Renee on a hometown. Whah? Why does she care if Renee is down with it? I was mesmerized by Cassandra's make up job..looks like she's ready for the runway.
Are we bored yet?
JP came out. I liked his purple pocket square. He's says Ees okay a few too many times.
They show the bloopers.
There was not much to uncover in this episode. I think we have all we need to know about JP..except...
Who does he choose next week? why are both the girls crying?
With the exception of Women Tell All... me encante este show!!!
Next week promises to be 'explosive'...I wonder if they will be short explosions?
But first, we have a Bachelor success story and we all know that the Bachelor likes to celebrate their (few) success stories. I think we've examined every bit of Trista and Ryan...then Molly and Jason and now Sean and Katherine. They came on to tell everyone how happy they are. Katherine didn't seem as gushy as usual. And the fireworks comment. TMI.
Then there was another another odd movie promo..last week Fast and Furious..this week Muppets Most Wanted. JP makes a cameo in the promo...not suprisingly he did a good job looking quizzical. In other interesting news, Chris Harrison was trying to rock some scruff. The previous sentence sounded as awkward as scruff looks on Chris Harrison.
The girls really didn't turn on each other, they mainly turned on Juan Pablo. Well except for Sharleen and Renee. Sharleen probably is thinking that would be a good strategy for her to appear different and above this process. I think she also had to say some nice things to soften some of her comments "I wish I was dumber"...and she explained that statement by saying she wishes she didn't think so much. Yeah right. She looked very pretty.
And Renee..Renee is usually the nice one. During Rennee's couch time with Chris she said "we were behind"...that sounds like game talk to me. This Bachelor process must be exhausting. Sidebar- I think Renee is pretty, but I"m not sure why her makeup repertoire consists of bronzer, mascara..and some ill chosen coral shade of lipstick (good call Anto). I think Renee is going for minimalist but it sometimes looks like 'just got out of bed'. And she's coyly said 'maaaay beee" when Chris asked her if she was in a relationship not sure why she didn't answer yes or no. Well that's good..glad she's happy..(not that you need a dude to be happy, but I think Renee really wants to find love)
The jist of the complaints is that JP wasn't straight forward. Well, I think not kissing someone you are interested in is straight forward. Lauren dimly stated that JP should act engaged..but if you don't want tsomeone to be fake why would by pretend to be engaged when you're not. Then Lucy the free spirit added that JP should have acted like he was in an individual relationship with everyone? Huh? No entiendo Lucy.
Andi toned down her commentary. She conceded she was interested in him, but then she felt insulted and disrespected..and chose to sleep off the rest of the FOD.
Cassandra chastised JP for taking Renee on a hometown. Whah? Why does she care if Renee is down with it? I was mesmerized by Cassandra's make up job..looks like she's ready for the runway.
Are we bored yet?
JP came out. I liked his purple pocket square. He's says Ees okay a few too many times.
They show the bloopers.
There was not much to uncover in this episode. I think we have all we need to know about JP..except...
Who does he choose next week? why are both the girls crying?
With the exception of Women Tell All... me encante este show!!!
Next week promises to be 'explosive'...I wonder if they will be short explosions?
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
This report is not brought to you by the letters OK
Whoa! What a Bachelor. The FOD! Where they are going to talk..ALL NIGHT LONG.
Clare- the back pedal
Clare would like to have us believe she wants to skip on the FOD to keep it respectable. Do I believe it? Not for a moment. What I did enjoy was her getting JP to tell her that the FOD was okay this time but Vietnam (the ocean swim) was a no no. Even JP commented "Clare..why are you thinking so much". Apparently it's okay to go nighttime swimming with JP on week 9. I spent most of their date being distracted by Clare's dangly rounded turquoise beaded earrings. At least I focused on those and not her the pregnant pauses that were interspersed with her rapid-fire talking about nothing. But..she forgoes her individual room because she wants to let JP know how her heart feels.
Andi
In a voiceover.JP announces...tonight is my overnight with Andi. He doesn't say.."today I get to spend the day with Andi"..he's going right to night. Andi looks great in her red dress and flip flops. They meet, explore a town..and hey..they find some good times! (surprise)..they play some steel drums..and (surprise) JP has rhythm and is the life of the steel drum party. Then he starts a pick up game of soccer (looking good shirtless...all the wine and desserts isn't affecting his visceral fat) and then they cruise to a secluded picnic spot. Andi is feelin' it. They chat..JP asks her about her intent to find love. I think he was trying to get at if she was looking at falling in love for the sake of it, or if he was what she was looking for. They didn't get to the meat of the issue..but he was ok with her responses and then he tells her "there's nothing wrong with thinking" (he will come to regret that statement later). He presents her with the overnight key. She's on it! And they are in room #7 (note..not so lucky this time)
The next day...JP is in the same t-shirt and shorts that he played a sweaty game of pick up soccer in..and is telling the camera what a great overnight it was.
Meanwhile Andi is telling the cameras that it became clear to her that JP is not really interested in her, but in hearing his own stories. He was a name dropper and even brought up Clare's name! What the? How do you say ding dong in Spanish. Apparently there is not directly translation..but close enough would be estupdio or pendejo!
But JP thinks it was great..and he loves Andi's cheeks..the facial ones. JP has this annoying habit of stroking the girl's faces, tears, ears, eyebrows.
Nikki
Nikki strides in looking like she paired her belly dancing pants with her Pocahontas bikini top. I think she was going for island sexy...it kinda came across as Middle Eastern Disney. A ya yay..JP exclaims..Nikki and JP ride horses..quite proficiently it looks like..have a little picnic. The make it over to the fantasy suite which I think is the same room that Clare and Andi had.Nikki busts the L word. They overnight. It's awesome..apparently. And JP thinks that Nikki can be for him..because she is sexy, a good kisser and likes people.
Video messages
Standard video messages from Nikki and Clare..but Andi sets it up that she wants to talk in person.
A ya yay!!
Judge Judy would be proud
Andi walks in all fine looking in her lace shorts and white blouse. They sit to chat. She lays the groundwork for her case. Tells him she doesn't love him or see it working. JP's answer "That's okay".
The crescendo is slowly building. Andi tries in a step-wise fashion to explain why it's not working for her.JP seems incapable of understanding. The thing is..i think he's capable or understanding English..but they don't value the same things. There is a different between hearing and seeking to understand. JP was wrong when he said "there's nothing wrong with thinking"..there is plenty wrong with thinking if you want to be with JP. You need to leave your cerebral cortex at the door...then everything will be okay. JP kept saying "that's okay" if you are not feeling it. Then he tries to help Andi understand "You only have to worry about 1 guy, I have all the other women". I need to say estupido again. This dude does not get women, unless you are a woman who is satisfied only by hand holding, hair sweeping (or eyebrow preening), good abs, good salsa dancing and kissing...and that's about it. The guy can cry on a dime but that doesn't mean he's sensitive or empathic. Maybe his head is just full of water.Andi stated her case, JP doesn't have the capacity to understand.i think he's a frontal lobe guy. Her brain organ trumps all of his. Go Andi...go Andi...
And the rosees go to (and are accepted by)
Nikki and Clare
Me encante este show!!
Clare- the back pedal
Clare would like to have us believe she wants to skip on the FOD to keep it respectable. Do I believe it? Not for a moment. What I did enjoy was her getting JP to tell her that the FOD was okay this time but Vietnam (the ocean swim) was a no no. Even JP commented "Clare..why are you thinking so much". Apparently it's okay to go nighttime swimming with JP on week 9. I spent most of their date being distracted by Clare's dangly rounded turquoise beaded earrings. At least I focused on those and not her the pregnant pauses that were interspersed with her rapid-fire talking about nothing. But..she forgoes her individual room because she wants to let JP know how her heart feels.
Andi
In a voiceover.JP announces...tonight is my overnight with Andi. He doesn't say.."today I get to spend the day with Andi"..he's going right to night. Andi looks great in her red dress and flip flops. They meet, explore a town..and hey..they find some good times! (surprise)..they play some steel drums..and (surprise) JP has rhythm and is the life of the steel drum party. Then he starts a pick up game of soccer (looking good shirtless...all the wine and desserts isn't affecting his visceral fat) and then they cruise to a secluded picnic spot. Andi is feelin' it. They chat..JP asks her about her intent to find love. I think he was trying to get at if she was looking at falling in love for the sake of it, or if he was what she was looking for. They didn't get to the meat of the issue..but he was ok with her responses and then he tells her "there's nothing wrong with thinking" (he will come to regret that statement later). He presents her with the overnight key. She's on it! And they are in room #7 (note..not so lucky this time)
The next day...JP is in the same t-shirt and shorts that he played a sweaty game of pick up soccer in..and is telling the camera what a great overnight it was.
Meanwhile Andi is telling the cameras that it became clear to her that JP is not really interested in her, but in hearing his own stories. He was a name dropper and even brought up Clare's name! What the? How do you say ding dong in Spanish. Apparently there is not directly translation..but close enough would be estupdio or pendejo!
But JP thinks it was great..and he loves Andi's cheeks..the facial ones. JP has this annoying habit of stroking the girl's faces, tears, ears, eyebrows.
Nikki
Nikki strides in looking like she paired her belly dancing pants with her Pocahontas bikini top. I think she was going for island sexy...it kinda came across as Middle Eastern Disney. A ya yay..JP exclaims..Nikki and JP ride horses..quite proficiently it looks like..have a little picnic. The make it over to the fantasy suite which I think is the same room that Clare and Andi had.Nikki busts the L word. They overnight. It's awesome..apparently. And JP thinks that Nikki can be for him..because she is sexy, a good kisser and likes people.
Video messages
Standard video messages from Nikki and Clare..but Andi sets it up that she wants to talk in person.
A ya yay!!
Judge Judy would be proud
Andi walks in all fine looking in her lace shorts and white blouse. They sit to chat. She lays the groundwork for her case. Tells him she doesn't love him or see it working. JP's answer "That's okay".
The crescendo is slowly building. Andi tries in a step-wise fashion to explain why it's not working for her.JP seems incapable of understanding. The thing is..i think he's capable or understanding English..but they don't value the same things. There is a different between hearing and seeking to understand. JP was wrong when he said "there's nothing wrong with thinking"..there is plenty wrong with thinking if you want to be with JP. You need to leave your cerebral cortex at the door...then everything will be okay. JP kept saying "that's okay" if you are not feeling it. Then he tries to help Andi understand "You only have to worry about 1 guy, I have all the other women". I need to say estupido again. This dude does not get women, unless you are a woman who is satisfied only by hand holding, hair sweeping (or eyebrow preening), good abs, good salsa dancing and kissing...and that's about it. The guy can cry on a dime but that doesn't mean he's sensitive or empathic. Maybe his head is just full of water.Andi stated her case, JP doesn't have the capacity to understand.i think he's a frontal lobe guy. Her brain organ trumps all of his. Go Andi...go Andi...
And the rosees go to (and are accepted by)
Nikki and Clare
Me encante este show!!
Monday, February 24, 2014
Hometowns...zzzzz
I've been on a Bachelor hiatus. I had some bad fish (not of the online dating variety)..and I was very unwell..hence no blog last week.
Tonight I missed out on Nikki's hometown because I was with my other true love. GSP...went to see the documentary. I love GSP.
Not sure what shook down at Nikki's hometown, I just walked in to see Nikki in well-appointed lace blouse bidding the black SUV - presumably with JP inside adieu.
I LOVE Andi's dad
I vote Andi's dad to be the substitute for Chris Harrison should Chris be unable to fulfill his hosting duties. But first Andi greets JP and wants to get him out of his comfort zone and takes him to a shooting range. Umm Andi..the dude is from Venezuela..not exactly a bastion of peace. Not saying that JP is a gangsta..but I"m betting some of his Venezuelan peeps have have their own pieces.
I think the gun range was a bit more soothing than JP's reception from Andi's dad. Andi's dad's comment was "don't ask me if you'd have my blessing if something works out among the three, come tell me there is noone else for me but your daughter". Bullseye dad!! Word. On the other end..Andi's mom..wants to watch them dance.
Oddly Andi gets upset that her sister didn't give a lot of assurances about JP, but Andi just said she's wasn't sure she was 'there yet'. But then she says I think I'm closer to falling in love with JP.
I think Andi needs a Discovery..perhaps on the FOD?
The Need for Speed Promo
What an oddly placed promo for the movie. Am I being sexist, but wouldn't the Bachelor watching demographic, not be the same one as the one for the Need for Speed movie? I got up to get a snack during that promo. But didn't Chris get a bit better looking ...has he been working out? Been feathering his hair less??? dunno..or maybe JP is annoying me so Chris is looking better
Poor Ben
That Ben is one cute little dude. Renee annoyed me. It seemed weird to see Ben for the 1st time in 8 weeks and have JP there. To JP's credit he was pretty good. Renee's home visit was unremarkable. Her family seems pleasant. JP's unoriginal dispassionate proclamation about Renee to her brother. I like Renee, she wants a family and she wants a husband, she's straightforward. Whoa..for a hot blooded latino that was pretty milquetoast. I'm betting a dude with a side cap wearing, Metal Mulisha UFC t-shirt could come up with a more heartfelt description. Ugh JP. Made me think Renee was going not going to the FOD. She wanted to tell JP that she loved him..because she felt like it was a great day with Ben and the intro went well. Renee..look for more please...
The apple fell far from the trees
Oh gosh...i'm reaching the tipping point with Clare. Her voice , the fast talking bordering on baby talking..almost sends me over the edge. Gotta say her dad sounded like a lovely lovely man.
Actually Clare's mom (aka momma) when she finally was allowed to speak sounds like a gracious, kind accepting person. Clare's mom can speak Spanish? And Clare can't. Hmm Clare would probably be annoying in another language. The sisters seemed pretty nice too. When Laua's weirdness and interceptions ceased, she just seemed like she was trying to be a protective. Clare said she had a crazy family...nope..she's the crazy one..they all seem coolio.
Speaking of coolio, I was cool to this episode..but I can't wait till next
Whatever will happen?? It's the Bachelor like we've never seen it!!
Until
PS Renee got the boot (the soccer boot). She handled it well, as Renee would. I'm glad she didn't get picked..I think she needs someone who is way more into her....speedy recovery Renee!!!
Monday, February 10, 2014
The Outtake- who saw it
This episode...was meh as they say?
Do you know what that means? Meh means indifference or simply not caring. Juan Pablo learned a few lines or phrased too.like 'cut to the chase', bolt. I was a bit cool to this episode
Mind you, I think most to the girls were a bit chilly. New Zealand didn't seem particularly warm that time of year. But is was picturesque. A ya ya..as Juan Pablo likes to say.
First date:
Andi. She finally gets a date. She goes to "The Squeeze" with her "Squeeze". JP takes her on a chauffered whip around a body of water..(sans seat belt and life jacket again!). She doesn't know where they are going...but like all good bachelorettes, she has her bathing suit on under her casual outfit. Wow..she looks amazing in white pants. Then she also looks good in a one pieced. Did anyone else wonder how her bathing suit stayed put without riding up. They made there way to a warmer part and stood and canoodled (appropriately?) under the waterfall. A perfect photo op for a Bachelor date.
I guess making out in the waterfall is different than the ocean date with Clare.
Then they dine geyser-side and surprisingly? they get splashed. They hug and Andi tells him she wants true love. Right reason. Unoriginal.
The outake..did anyone see it? A sheep poop fight...how incredibly unsanitary and bacteria riddled...hopefully this isn't foreshadowing.
Do you know what that means? Meh means indifference or simply not caring. Juan Pablo learned a few lines or phrased too.like 'cut to the chase', bolt. I was a bit cool to this episode
Mind you, I think most to the girls were a bit chilly. New Zealand didn't seem particularly warm that time of year. But is was picturesque. A ya ya..as Juan Pablo likes to say.
First date:
Andi. She finally gets a date. She goes to "The Squeeze" with her "Squeeze". JP takes her on a chauffered whip around a body of water..(sans seat belt and life jacket again!). She doesn't know where they are going...but like all good bachelorettes, she has her bathing suit on under her casual outfit. Wow..she looks amazing in white pants. Then she also looks good in a one pieced. Did anyone else wonder how her bathing suit stayed put without riding up. They made there way to a warmer part and stood and canoodled (appropriately?) under the waterfall. A perfect photo op for a Bachelor date.
I guess making out in the waterfall is different than the ocean date with Clare.
Then they dine geyser-side and surprisingly? they get splashed. They hug and Andi tells him she wants true love. Right reason. Unoriginal.
Let love roll
Well, no safety needed here..hopefully the OGOs are puncture proof. The girls come for a little picnic..well it was more of a coffee date...and then JP takes them to the OGO. It looks super fun.
It's Cassandra's birthday! She's 22..and she thinks she could fall in love with JP. I thought it was ominous that JP didn't acknowledge her birthday. Seemed unlike the doting South American.
To celebrate rolling down the hill..they have a group cocktail party...which basically was a holding place for the girls while JP took most of the girls to the kissing chair. Oh..but they are on the set of the Hobbit..I'm guessing Sharleen is the only one who read the book (umm i haven't even seen the movie..is it a big deal to be on set?) JP overuses 'have a good time', but Sharleen's word in organic. Tonight..she feels it is inorganic. Now I sound like JP..what does that mean..like really? Then she kisses him..and then it's organic again. I'm not sure she has her organic labels correct. It's a confusing journey..that's for sure. All JP tells her is that she's nervous but that she's good..and then Sharleen feels understood.
But JP did have a change of heart and let Cassandra go. Cassandra handled it well..but really..did she really care about JP. Hopefully Cassandra had a nice birthday flight . Renee is now wondering if the single mom's are not the 'special ones' anymore. JP does say that he is mesmerized by Renee's eyes. I like Renne..i think she is an excellent reflective listener..but does anyone sense chemistry between those two? I dunno
I can't believe Clare is still here
My friend astutely texted me and said that he gave Clare a 1:1 so that she doesn't tell the girls what happened. Yep that's probaby right. Clare thinks JP should apologize for what he said to her...which noone is really saying anything what happened at 4 AM in the ocean. JP hands her some platitudes about his conduct in front of his daughter. Good idea..but maybe he should be aware that he is being filmed. That was JP back peddling. Clare somehow took this as an apology. I didn't hear an apology. JP asked her promise that she wouldn't cry because of him! What kind of request is that? Then her and JP put their comfies on and hang out on the couch. He made her change in another room (because he's decent that way that JP)..then she does an odd crotch grab on her Hammer pants. JP thinks those pants look better than her cocktail dress. They cuddle..she gets a rose..oh..and then they dance...which as we all know by now..turns into a salsa
Rose Ceremony
Despite Cat's deep reveal about her journalling and tough upbringing..she's denied a rose. She thought sealed the rose for her. Instead it sealed a different fate.
AFTer the escort to the care..JP is back..and Sharleen is crying..she's confused..and will give it one more week...that's her MO..she gives him one more try.
Guess where next week...Salsa capital of the US..MIAMI...do you think there will be salsaing. I say si!
Until next week..
me encante este show!
Monday, February 3, 2014
It happened Juan night
Hola! I mean Hollah!!..We're goin' to Vietnam yo.
And what happened in Vietnam does not stay in Vietnam..it gets broadcast internationally (well mainly in the US and Canada but available for download in the rest of the free world)
What happened one night was really not a romantic comedy..but a comedy of errors...but it leaves me to question...would the real Clare stand up (She always stands out..but we're not really sure who she is)
But back to the dates.
The girls arrive...there outfits for the voyage are either shorts and tank top or lycra capris. Sidebar: I know I'm obsessed with tank tops. But this Bachelor has thrown me into a tanktop tailspin. Is it the limited shopping in Edmonton , how have i missed all these tank top variations. One (of the dozens) of reasons i like this show is to see what the girls wear casually. I would like to pull off some of their casual fabulousness. Some great scarves too..not sure if they are trying to save their voices or whether it's a drafty place.
The girls arrive without luggage to the Intercontinental. Fabulous hotel. It makes the Bachelor mansion look cozy.
Date card..and it goes to.....
Renee...
Finally, Renee can step away from the therapist's couch to get some much Juan-ted attention from JP.
Guess what ? Renee wants to kiss him. she is so excited..and she's so nice that the other girls seem to be ok with her going on this date. She tries to curl her hair. Fail. What was the problem. humidity? converter blew? She applies copious layers of make up only to look like she doesn't have any one.
But she looks pretty Zen..but not chill..'cause Renee gets sweaty. More on that in a minute.She meets JP..he says..."we're going to have a good time". I think JP wants to set a new Bachelor record for phraseology. I think he says "we're going to have a good time" about 15 times in the episode. But Renee is already having a good time..you can tell the she strokes JP like a puppy. JP drives her in a cart, they sit on a boat. He buys presents for the kids. Then he is going to get a dress made for her. He is watching as she gets her measurements done and makes sure to zero in on the chest measurement. Renee is getting sweaty..JP goes to get a fan..Renee is moved by the gesture.Way to keep it classy.Renee wants to kiss him still. Denied. They go for a dinner..not a lot of conversation..just mutual compliments...she gets hot again..he starts to blow on her..hopefully there wansn't too much fish sauce or garlic i the dishi'm not convinced he's feelin' Renee..but he thinks there might be something there... Rose Yes. Kiss No. She says she's okay with not kissing him. yeah right.
Bamboo boats, Communal meal, drinks ...then halter top trouble
Who likes a group date? Noone! Well except JP...because 'we're gonna have a good time'.
The go boating in pairs. Clare and JP kiss in the grasses. Back on shore...they drop by a house. It kinda seemed like a farm. Cassandra noted...we should have this back home. Like farms Cassandra? Community gardens? Someone tell her please that not all food comes from Walmart. The girls gather herbs. Andi complains to JP..she gets reassurance from two words "Trust me". Hmm for a lawyer she doesn't gather a lot of evidence. Back at the hotel the girls and JP have some drinks. JP grabs Clare for a dip in his pool. She had her bikini! Not sure how long they dipped..but bac they came and JP takes most of the girls to talk...and look into his eyes on the beach. Clare gets the rose. Must have been a stellar dip Well...they say you shouldn't double dip..and that's what Clare did. At the respectable hour of 4 AM she thought she'd drop by to say Thank You. But she wanted to go into a bigger body of water. JP says he wants to make Clare feel comfortable . Torosh!t JP. I guess Clare likes saying thank you in the water. She also said it was pure bliss in every way. That is some water they have in Vietnam.
Nikki.
This was like Chelsea's date. Lots of cables and fear and trusting JP. Sigh...these dates are a bit Tony Robbins -esque..overcoming your fears leads to success..romantic success according to the Bachelor. Nikki wisely states I"m going to live, die or poo my pants. Surprise. She overcomes her fear. She draws a parallel of the descending into a cave like falling in love. Well except for the falling part. They change into something less comfortable and JP asks questions! he asks Nurse Nikki..why she became a nurse and why a pediatric nurse. He has a hard time with the word paediatric...not sure why..its exactly the same as spanish except you add an O. JP likes nikki and awards the rose.
As the tide turns...
Clare starts the night super confident and leads the toast with 'finding, being and making love'.
At the cocktail party..JP is wheelin' them in. He gives besitos to Andi. He changes his tune mid way with Renee..first telling her he treats her differently because of Ben..then she starts telling him its okay..then JP kisses Rennee. Cue happy symphony music. Renne spins out of control..well not really..but when she recounted the kiss to the camera she spun around a few times. Ok JP is a soccer player, good body, cute accent..but spin worthy? But did that kiss set someting off in JP...he is now wondering if he 'going into the water' with Clare was a good idea. And he decides to tell her it wasn't.
Does that public pronouncement absolve him? It's like it was a confession of bad behaviour. Clare is upset..obviously. JP was all about making her feel comfortable that night. JP tries to make Clare feel better by telling her to look at him, just 'delete' the thought and stop crying . (yeah that helps JP). Then he tries again by telling her its ok he just wants to be understood. The girls sense tension. Clare says she's got allergies. Perhaps she's allergic to the torosh!t that JP is feeding her.
Rose Ceremony
It's not surprising who leaves..the people who he never spoke too..Alli, Kelly and Danielle.
But everyone starts crying. JP, the departing girls and the remaining girls. Hmm..hopefully this doesn't turn into a Big Love type of scenario..maybe they could all live together on a bachelor ranch and have a farm...Cassandra can bring the farming concept back to the U S of A.
Until next week..in New Zealand
me encante este show!
And what happened in Vietnam does not stay in Vietnam..it gets broadcast internationally (well mainly in the US and Canada but available for download in the rest of the free world)
What happened one night was really not a romantic comedy..but a comedy of errors...but it leaves me to question...would the real Clare stand up (She always stands out..but we're not really sure who she is)
But back to the dates.
The girls arrive...there outfits for the voyage are either shorts and tank top or lycra capris. Sidebar: I know I'm obsessed with tank tops. But this Bachelor has thrown me into a tanktop tailspin. Is it the limited shopping in Edmonton , how have i missed all these tank top variations. One (of the dozens) of reasons i like this show is to see what the girls wear casually. I would like to pull off some of their casual fabulousness. Some great scarves too..not sure if they are trying to save their voices or whether it's a drafty place.
The girls arrive without luggage to the Intercontinental. Fabulous hotel. It makes the Bachelor mansion look cozy.
Date card..and it goes to.....
Renee...
Finally, Renee can step away from the therapist's couch to get some much Juan-ted attention from JP.
Guess what ? Renee wants to kiss him. she is so excited..and she's so nice that the other girls seem to be ok with her going on this date. She tries to curl her hair. Fail. What was the problem. humidity? converter blew? She applies copious layers of make up only to look like she doesn't have any one.
But she looks pretty Zen..but not chill..'cause Renee gets sweaty. More on that in a minute.She meets JP..he says..."we're going to have a good time". I think JP wants to set a new Bachelor record for phraseology. I think he says "we're going to have a good time" about 15 times in the episode. But Renee is already having a good time..you can tell the she strokes JP like a puppy. JP drives her in a cart, they sit on a boat. He buys presents for the kids. Then he is going to get a dress made for her. He is watching as she gets her measurements done and makes sure to zero in on the chest measurement. Renee is getting sweaty..JP goes to get a fan..Renee is moved by the gesture.Way to keep it classy.Renee wants to kiss him still. Denied. They go for a dinner..not a lot of conversation..just mutual compliments...she gets hot again..he starts to blow on her..hopefully there wansn't too much fish sauce or garlic i the dishi'm not convinced he's feelin' Renee..but he thinks there might be something there... Rose Yes. Kiss No. She says she's okay with not kissing him. yeah right.
Bamboo boats, Communal meal, drinks ...then halter top trouble
Who likes a group date? Noone! Well except JP...because 'we're gonna have a good time'.
The go boating in pairs. Clare and JP kiss in the grasses. Back on shore...they drop by a house. It kinda seemed like a farm. Cassandra noted...we should have this back home. Like farms Cassandra? Community gardens? Someone tell her please that not all food comes from Walmart. The girls gather herbs. Andi complains to JP..she gets reassurance from two words "Trust me". Hmm for a lawyer she doesn't gather a lot of evidence. Back at the hotel the girls and JP have some drinks. JP grabs Clare for a dip in his pool. She had her bikini! Not sure how long they dipped..but bac they came and JP takes most of the girls to talk...and look into his eyes on the beach. Clare gets the rose. Must have been a stellar dip Well...they say you shouldn't double dip..and that's what Clare did. At the respectable hour of 4 AM she thought she'd drop by to say Thank You. But she wanted to go into a bigger body of water. JP says he wants to make Clare feel comfortable . Torosh!t JP. I guess Clare likes saying thank you in the water. She also said it was pure bliss in every way. That is some water they have in Vietnam.
Nikki.
This was like Chelsea's date. Lots of cables and fear and trusting JP. Sigh...these dates are a bit Tony Robbins -esque..overcoming your fears leads to success..romantic success according to the Bachelor. Nikki wisely states I"m going to live, die or poo my pants. Surprise. She overcomes her fear. She draws a parallel of the descending into a cave like falling in love. Well except for the falling part. They change into something less comfortable and JP asks questions! he asks Nurse Nikki..why she became a nurse and why a pediatric nurse. He has a hard time with the word paediatric...not sure why..its exactly the same as spanish except you add an O. JP likes nikki and awards the rose.
As the tide turns...
Clare starts the night super confident and leads the toast with 'finding, being and making love'.
At the cocktail party..JP is wheelin' them in. He gives besitos to Andi. He changes his tune mid way with Renee..first telling her he treats her differently because of Ben..then she starts telling him its okay..then JP kisses Rennee. Cue happy symphony music. Renne spins out of control..well not really..but when she recounted the kiss to the camera she spun around a few times. Ok JP is a soccer player, good body, cute accent..but spin worthy? But did that kiss set someting off in JP...he is now wondering if he 'going into the water' with Clare was a good idea. And he decides to tell her it wasn't.
Does that public pronouncement absolve him? It's like it was a confession of bad behaviour. Clare is upset..obviously. JP was all about making her feel comfortable that night. JP tries to make Clare feel better by telling her to look at him, just 'delete' the thought and stop crying . (yeah that helps JP). Then he tries again by telling her its ok he just wants to be understood. The girls sense tension. Clare says she's got allergies. Perhaps she's allergic to the torosh!t that JP is feeding her.
Rose Ceremony
It's not surprising who leaves..the people who he never spoke too..Alli, Kelly and Danielle.
But everyone starts crying. JP, the departing girls and the remaining girls. Hmm..hopefully this doesn't turn into a Big Love type of scenario..maybe they could all live together on a bachelor ranch and have a farm...Cassandra can bring the farming concept back to the U S of A.
Until next week..in New Zealand
me encante este show!
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