Round 1: Kenny vs Lee

Aww shucks there will be no shagging

The producers tried everything to see if there was going to be a connection with Jack and Rachel..first  they shagged - a partner dance that originated in the Carolinas. The dates have not gone international...the shag would have been another dance of sorts. You could tell during the dancing that the chemistry was not there ..for Rachel. Like  Peter, I have a knack for reading Rachel.
Then they shucked oysters and ate them. Apparently Cassonova had 50 oysters for breakfast every morning. Supposedly oysters are supposed to have some aphrodisiac properties...all I know is that they are the highest food source of zinc..which helps boost immunity.

I could tell Rachel was immune to Jack. Jack was saying how great everything was...then he tries to kiss her and she says "you'll get sick". Whah? did we know Rachel had a cold? She really was not feeling Jack.

At dinner it got worse..he was oblivious to her uninterested vibe. And started asking about her father and if he was funny..because Jack likes to joke around..then he say you get that from your father...not even asking about Rachel's mother. Jack says he's like to take her away from this..and she said " what would do in Dallas"..his response..we'd just lie in bed and chill and talk. YAWN..a man without a plan. I felt uncomfortable for Rachel...so she pulled the rose  plug and told him that she wasn't feeling the X factor. Jack did not make it easy for her..so she had to offer to walk him out.

There was no van talk with Jack..likely because he didn't have anything interesting to say.

I've been so mesmerized by Peter's cute gap and confidence that I wasn't noticing he has really bad grammar...he has a difficult time with subject/verb grammar.

Now to some Country Grammar..not the Nelly type...i'm talking about Lee. He is just spouting off about Kenny. I don't know if the producers put Lee up to this. Lee sees this as a competition I think, and some type of Survivor/Big Brother type competition. So much negativity. Will tries to explain to Lee that black men may see being called aggressive as racially charge. Lee states "I don't understand the race card". Ugh. The guy asks no questions. Not asking questions is my #1 pet peeve, followed by  public nail clipping.

Meanwhile Kenny is trying to keep the snake analogy alive-talking about Lee slithering..and he even uses the Eve/snake allegory...

Cocktail party (cancelled0
Rose ceremony
Iggy and Tickle monster go home.
Ticklemonster gets in one last tickle. Wow...how annoying.
Iggy sheds tears..and says he learned so much about himself! Good job Iggy.

They are off to Oslo!! (Rachel had to include Norway just so they knew where they were all going)

Rappeling and SO much attraction.
Bryan would not be my number 1 choice. He seems so needy and clingy..but as the date progressed, they really seem so into eachother.
They rapelled of a ski jump..and Bryan needed to kiss her mid-air.

Rachel is questioning why Bryan is still single. Ahem..that is a really dumb question.
1. the person hasn't found someone
2. the person doesn't want to date just anyone
3. the person might find most people underwelming.
those are some potential reasons why Bryan may be single:) well that and maybe he's too clingy and women find it cloying.

They got sit at dinner. Rachel has perfect yellow/gold eyeshadow...Her lashes are overkill but that eyeshadow game is strong.

She gives Bryan the rose..and they kiss and kiss and kiss.

Eric's insecurities are coming out...he thinks Rachel is not into brothers. Anthony gives rational, sane, calming advice. I like brother Anthony:)
Mean while Lee really takes to adding shine to his boots and hair..and does some bicep curls in the gym..with his boots. Not sure if he is making gains.

Group date: Handball

The boys played handball. Will played the best. Peter played with Rachel on and off the court.
Josaih is all sugar. So sweet it seems disingenous...AND Rachel called him out on not asking any questions. Go Rachel!! I'm on Team questions too!!!!

2:1 One stays one goes
Not surprising Kenny and Lee get a group date.
The elimination dates always seems to involve the elements. They helicopter into Viking territory..where there are bog like conditions. In order of who dressed the warmest from most to least: Rachel, Kenny, Lee.  Well..reptiles are cold blooded creatures..maybe Lee didn't need layers to keep him warm..he had a hoodie like shirt that was unironed...Kenny seemed to be a bit cold..as was Rachel in her parka and gloves. Gurrrrl, you would not survive an Edmonton winter.

Kenny and Lee each have 1;1 time. Kenny gets a bit more time as Rachel needs to clarify if Kenny got violent with Lee and if he has a dark side when he drinks. This sets Kenny off...and Rachel needs time to think..and Kenny walks down the hill laughing maniacally at snake-man Kenny and says something nonsensical like "He's going to be washed under the tide or realness that is Kenny".

What is going to happen?? the previews show Kenny with a bloody eye..but his leather jacket is not on...Is Kenny going to knock some scales off Lee?

Until next week  tomorrow....I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

one long week later

and it's baaack..
I thought last week's hiatus was due to the Bachelor Paradise scandal...which i haven't kept on top of...but it involved Demario, Corinne, a pool and ETOH. Not sure if there will be paradise this year...but that show seems like a claustrophobic two star resort with a lot of levels questionable hygiene.

The Bachelorette has its clautrophobic moments...especially when the guys have to staying a suite hotel all together..drinkign alcohol and putting their feet on the table.

But I"m happy they're back:)
We came back to a replay of Eric reminding Lee that is his (Eric's) name is in his (Lee's) mouth.
Most of the guys are staying out of it...especially Dean looking perfect adorable in his flowery shirt and shiny white teeth.

I'm starting to feel like I need an anti-emetic when Bryan speaks. He shovels so much romance it makes me say "ugh" out loud..to my TV. Rachel kinda encourages it..I know she's all about that 100, but she tells him you're too good to be true. Then Bryan says it's a fairy tale, then she says no it's not..then he says it's not...but follows it up with "you're my future, my focus is on  you".

Meanwhile Lee is gloating at how angry he is making everyone...Dean states that it's racial..Dunno if it's racial or Rachael...I think Lee just wants to emerge victorious... Lee does win with phrase of the night..."that won't put a tear in my beer"
hahahaha...that's funny...maybe he should write a song about it.
Maybe Lee just wants to be a shorter, less muscular Chad.

Meanwhile...Rachel has a lot of tears in her beer..because she's feeling the pressure ..and that she'll be judged on her decisions. She's feeling so much pressure that Chris H comes in to say.."tell me what you want, I can facilitate anything".

I actually believe that...Chris has amazing facilitation skills.
But all he does is cut the cocktail party short.
Sidebar: you know what else needs to be cut short..Rachael's eyelashes...If fake eyelashes were on steroids..that would be the ones on RAchaels lashes...I can't even tell you what colour eyeshadow she's wearing because those eyelashes are so distracting.

Rose ceremony
Bryce and Diggy (I wish it was Iggy) are gone.
Why does she keep Jack if she never talks to him?

Next destination: South Carolina
I think the guys pack all their stuff...some of them have 2 suitcases..
They get to the resort..they are all in one room again..
Dean gets the 1:1
YAY!!!!

Dean is getting cuter..I am a little concerned with the integrity of his enamel with all the tooth whitening...but that is the only integrity i'm concerned about. He's all around fantastic, lovely, affectionate, vulnerable...(and a bad dancer..but hey none's perfect).

They ride in a blimp! (do we have those in Canada)..it looked fun..then they have dinner...where he shared his story about his mom dying...i wanted to crawl into my TV and hug him too. Rachel was sweet and said she didn't want to cry too..
Then they went to the awkward concert with unfamiliar artist, dancing on a raised platform situation.
Dean mainly swayed and then wanted to jump and throw just one arm in the air like he just don't care.

But he does care..about Racheel...and he got the rose.

Group date
They have a boat date!! Alex looked like he worked hard to gather his hair into a mini-pony. I wonder if he has man bun goals. Where the boys dance an have a push up contest..where I think the only guy that did pushups was Eric...Peter adorably recreates the Titanic scene with Rachel..i heart Peter even if he can't spell coitus. Kenny does some freestyle rapping...however I'm getting the sense that he's trying to show all his talents but they may not be enough...although I dislike Lee..I think Lee can see through Kenny's uber strong muscular exterior..and I think he's a bit weak on the inside.
There is a spelling contest. Josaih wins.
Confession.:Despite attending over 70 weddings I would have mispelled boutonnier. Besides that..the words were easy.

Josh said he is loquacious....i do think the used a thesaurus to come up with that.
Now is the party. Iggy is getting even more annoying...he either seems like he's trying to facilitate a focus group or tries to show some charm to Rachel...saying he's protecting her...and he also calls her sweetie (shudder).  It gets gossipy when Lee throws down more smack about Kenny...Kenny tries to charm her with some freestyle...he seems like he's trying too hard again..instead Rachel asks about Lee...so Kenny takes Lee outside to talk..and then.....

TO BE CONTINUED
with blood above Kenny's eye.

Does Lee cut him with the pocketknife that he carved the word enchanting to Rachel?
 Until next week's double episode (monday and Tuesday week)

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!

My name is in your mouth!!!

No More Drama...
I'm sure Mary J Blige is cringing somewhere...so much drama!! I'd venture there is MORE drama here than in previous Bachelor episodes.

First we start off with Demario..who is on the watered down driveway and wants to make things right with Rachel.  He says that he heard a quote that She lends him an ear...but not an olive branch. Demario, denied...looks to the camera and says Damn.

I don't think he was being legit.
Back at the cocktail party..it looked like Dean was hugging Lee.
Meanwhile Alex was completing a Rubik's cube, Kenny was showing photos of his daughter..and  Jonathan brought out the big hands....all the better to tickle her with. (when is the tickle monster thing going to be unveiled)
Blake continues to be annoyed by Whaboom.
Wham tells Rachel that Blake eats an banana over Whabooms bed at night. When Rachel asks Blake his defence?  The diet defense. "Uh. I follow a ketogenic diet I don't eat bananas".
That makes me bananas. The guy is drinking alcohol.  If he's so into enhancing fat oxidation, why is he drinking alcohol? Why am I getting worked up...yikes...I've found Blake annoying from Day 1.
Whaboom is a weird one too though.

They both get punted..and some other guy whose name I can't remember. When Alex got the rose he said something in Russian to her...a simple "Da" would have sufficed.
Blake continues his anger outside the mansion, expressing how fake Whaboom is and how W is there for the wrong and even oddly imitating him.
Someone give Blake some carbs.


Group Date
AHHHH!!! The ELLEN Show!!! My dream is to be on that show!! I love her so so so much.
The guys come through security and Ellen and Rachel talk about them. Ellen (just like me),  does NOT like that the guy tickled Rachel on the first night. Yes..tickling is weirdly tortuous to me.
Ellen tickles him as soon as she sees him and then hugs all the other guys.
The guys turn out to be entertainment and have to dance shirtless for dollah bills. Alex finds his inner Cossack and unleashes his Russian prowess across the demographics of Ellen's audience.  Speaking of graphic..what kind of print was on Alex's pants. Mind you..i was too mesmerized by all of his abs to pay attention to his pantsTickle guy can't dance though. Next we learn that Alex peed in the pool,and we learn which guys have kissed Rachel which is making Fred all nervous.
After the show..Fred tries to step up his game and asks Rachel for permission to kiss her..then does it...I'm cringing outwardly as a I watch that kiss go down. The kiss went down for quite a while.and i was wondering if Rachel was into it. Freddie did get super vulnerable...
Alex said Nyet to his mother's advice of not kissing Rachel..and kissed her...it seemed super awkward..What is not awkward is the Peter/Rachel chemistry. Peter is dreamy.
Rachel takes the rose and Freddie to another room..where she tells Freddie she still sees him as a boy..and he leaves...poor Freddie.


Meet me at the Rodeo
Rachel meets that tall drink of water Anthony downtown..where is seems she has to explain the Rodeo metaphor slowly to Anthony.  Anthony mounted that horse and they moseyed along..stopping in to do some shopping at get some Automated Cupcake delivery. Seemed like a super attention seeking date..however that's L.A though..too glam to give a damn.
They got off the horses and dined on a hilltop with an incredible view. Anthony seemed super grouded..Rachel dug it..and then they had a quartet mini-concert..where I"m not sure if Anthony was feeling the feels but he was coppping the feels.

Sometimes in a relationship the women take charge....
sigh...this is the relationship propaganda that gets propagated in this show...it's a power struggle..sometimes the woman is in charge...yeesh..but back the romance...Rachel's friends are the former bachelor contestants..and she trusts these women to help her. These girls plan a mud wrestling competition. Seems super classy. I don't think Corinne would have much to do for this date.
My biggest question on the date was what was Rachel's top made of and how did the strings stay taut. Must be a body suit..and would make for bad tan lines.
Not surprisingly Kenny wins most of the fighting..but Bryce wins the whole thing...and Kenny was gracious in defeat.  Maybe prominent jawbones are correlated with wrestling ability. I'm a bit distracted by the prominence...but they soften when he talks..he seems like a really sweet person.

It was funny that the boys had to shower off in the alley beside the bar. reminded me of some precarious bath situations I had on the farm in Croatia in the 80s. At least there were no chickens running around in the alley.

At the debrief/after mud wrestling party...Kenny comes clean that he was a Chippendale dancer..but it was 'mainly choreography'. I'm wondering if a switch went off in Rachel's mind that I can't date a Chippendale dancer/wrestler....Kenny also demonstrated some moves that I'm guessing he thought she would find appealing..he even wore a special t-shirt that tore off neatly...Not sure if the bump and grind was stimulating her mind.
Rachel took Eric aside and had her head on his chest...she's got it bad for Eric physically...must say with her eyes closes..her slate sparkly eyeshadow was gorgeous..props to the make up artist. Eric told her how vulnerable he is. Adam unfortunately wore a burgundy leather jacket..Adam..so cute..bad jacket choice. Lee spouts off to Eric that he has a lot of potential but he has no love experience...Lee is being an a$$..he's really just making issues....shouldn't he go write a song for Rachel..he really could be more productive.
Eric gets the rose!!

Back at the cocktail party...Lee and Iggy tell Rachel that Eric was doubting how genuine Rachel was. So rachel find Eric and gives him a chance to explain...Eric is such an intent listener..but he looks like he's going to explode...This make Eric call a meeting of the men...telling them to mind their own business...Lee says that Eric is the one with the issue..which makes Eric jump around and yell My name is in your mouth. I totally agree with Eric...get his name out of your mouths:)  If I was Rachel ...i'd wonder why everyone was so concerned with Eric and not with being 100 about their own relationship.

Then the show ended...
Whose name will be in Rachel's mouth next week?????
Until next week..
I love this show!!!!!!

Who let the dog out?

Week two and Rachel is hopeful..she wakes up in her mansion..and Copper is by her side. She  takes the adorable Copper for a walk..in  her open toe heeled boots. She didn't look super steady walking him...maybe her and Copper will have matching leg braces if she keeps walking him in heels.

First group date!! and Rachel is looking for husband material. She gets a little help from Ashton and Mila..who are huge fans to show...which goes to show that  really cool people are dedicated to this program. :)

First the boys (hopefully they will transfrom from boyz II men)  are greeted by Rachel in a park where she  food stylists set up a barbecue. You can tell it was done by professionals (when  you compare it to Alex skewering chicken with mom in the backyard.
They have a wee bit of food..then they are off to the obstacle course. You know..i did agree with the obstacle course. It wasn't about a metaphor of scaling a building and emerging triumphant in love, but it highlighted the mundanity of marriage..this might have been one of the most realistic challenges in bachelor history.

Whaboom wins. He's an odd dude. He tried to get Ashton to whaboom- Ashton chose not to without making Lucas feel like a ding dong. I like how Ashton kept that classy.
What wasn't classy was all the baby (doll) slamming. Too much testosterone..or pre-workout.

At the group date drinks gathering...we learned:
-Iggy sweats profusefuly and talks to Rachel like he's interviewing her for employment
-Blake lived with Lucas' ex-girlfriend, and proceeds to tell everyone that Lucas ex-gf says Lucas is in it for Whaboom glory (and people say women like to gossip)
-Lucas says Blake is crazy but Lucas' gf is the one being evicted (yeesh..sounds like a Judge Judy episode)
-Kenny ain't got time for nuthin' but love and keepin' it 100. and he loves his daughter (sweet)
-Dean is looking more like Chris Soules..and suddenly is very charming and sweet.

Dean gets the rose!! And another first in Bachelorette history..he walks her out and kisses her...AND he gets all the purple lipstick on his face.

1:1 I'm looking for my best friend

Oh yay yay yay!!!! Peter is going on the  one on one date:)
Peter is so adorable. Copper is going too!!
They all fly to Palm Springs..and he's already holding her hand...and we all know one of Rachel's love language is physical touch. They all go to a backyard barkfest with fellow dogs and dog owners. Peter seems to be connecting with Copper..and there is even a dance at the end when Peter is holding up Copper to dance. We still haven't heard how Copper broke his leg.

At the dinner, they have so much in common:
-neither is eating (I'm not even sure Copper is eating)
-they love their tooth gap
-they've both been to therapists.

She gives Peter the rose..but she has one more surprise....fireworks:) Ironically, after this 1:1 date with her dog Rachel says she's a 'smitten kitten'.

Swish
I've only been to 3 NBA games, and I wasn't sure what Swish was. But it meant that they are going to be playing some basketball. With Kareem Abdul Jabbar.  Kareem says that basketball shows character and it involves teamwork. The boys played some ball then were divided on teams and were playing in front of a crowd. Chris, Rachel and Kareem were judging. I don't know if they were playing in halves or quarters...but it seemed like halves.

I was happy that Matt scored..two points..not sure how much he's scoring in Rachel's eyes. Demario..worked hard and kept scoring..but the white team won. The guys went to the locker room to  umm..do nothing..they sat around and didn't change or shower. meanwhile someone name Lexie shows up..Rachel is thinking this is a bachelorette fangirl..but gurrrrrrl Lexie had some news about Demario. Looks like Demario was scoring with Lexie right up until a few days until After the Rose. then Demario ghosted Lexie. Now Lexie seemed mighty angry (and she let her hair out of her scrunchie-but her kept her scrunchie around her wrist...are those a thing again?). Rachel was confused and shocked..then called in Demario to face her. While the guys sat in the change room not changing, they were thinking Demario was getting a rose..which goes to show that you really should never believe all your thoughts:)

Demario first pretended he didn't know Lexie, then said she's crazy, then said they had 'sexual intercourse', then he said a lot that didn't make sense so rachel read off phone messages. This exchange was taking on Maury Povich vibes..i was thinking someone was going to come in with a poly graph..but Rachel sent Demario home..I'm not sure where Lexie went..and Rachel went marching around the school not wanting to talk to the camera..saying she got played. Well, even though she was keepin' it 100...Demario was keepin' it about 50. He just seems to have skin in a lot of different games:)

The men tried to cheer Rachel up after she proclaimed that Demario is a dirty dog.  Josiah says he's protective..and sealed that protection package with a  kiss. (He comes off as needy to me). Jamey sat so far away from her on the couch. Will was adorable.  Eric talked love languages and basically Rachel asked for a kiss. Alex sang a Russian song about dark eyes. Does Alex have an accent or did it just appear after he sang a couple bars of the dark eyes song?  He didn't kiss her..b/c his mama told him not to.Poor Mark didn't even talk to her.
Josiah gets the protection  group date rose!

Cocktail party
She looked great in black and gold. Did she limp in? maybe she was out walking Copper in heels again. Bryan was the first to take her..they kiss..he gives her a massage. Adam was showing a cute little barbie house..then he gets interrupted...because guess who is on the grounds?? Demario...

Looks like Demario wants a rebound.  Rachel is asked by Chris if she wants to talk to him..she's curious..the guys are angry...Kenny..says he wants to break his leg... Really think Kenny is still made that Whaboom pushed him at the obstacle course.

Will the men take Demario down? Will Rachel hear him out?
Does Lexie get her keys back?

Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW???

My favourite show- beyond a reasonable doubt

Since Rachel is all about keeping' it real and 100...
This, for real, is my favourite show. Ever.
I mean I love Master of None, the Mindy Project and Narcos....but this show..top shelf. The ritual, the dating, the feelings, the posing...it doesn't seem to get old. It gets cliche...but it doesn't get old.
I'm not sure if Rachel is my fave....she says she's sassy and classy..but when she says "this ring finger is ready"...I feel a little ill...those feelings continued when the pre-show pep talk with her 'squad' from Nick's season telling her she should get the fairy tale she deserves. Raven was getting teary eyed..maybe 'cause she thought this shoulda been her. Maybe because she ate crow last season..so close Raven.
Are Nick and Vanessa still together???
We need to focus..just as Rachel says she will...because she didn't put enough focus on that are of her life.But Back to the mansion..where we hope Rachel finds love in a hopeless place:)
(Rachel kinda reminds me of Rhianna).

Some of these men are SO SO SO adorable. Some are very so so.
First..
Let's start with Kenny. Maybe because I'd love myself some GSP, but Kenny the wrestler is so cute and he seems so loving toward his daughter. I am picking him as my top 3 in my Bachelorette fantasy pool..not that I think he's most suited to Rachel..i just love Kenny to pieces:) lol to he's seen a lot of rings in his life..and hopefully he'll see one with Rachel...even his dumb joke was fantastic.

Jack...oooo...so sad his mom died in high school...i liked that he thinks Rachel is special (Rachel will like that too)

Alex....I was liking the meat head/nerd combo..it's dreamy actually..but the 'talk' his mom had over skewered meat was a bit off putting. I thought it was funny that his mom told him that the girls kiss too much (they do)...but the dangly raw chicken..eww. No wonder there is a job for food stylists. Make that raw, salmonella infested chicken look pretty.

Mohit...was a strike out..i loved that he was a Bolly wood dancer and had a dance party in the living room with family...that looked super fun..but him at he Bachelor mansion..

Lucas...the waboom guy..all that head shaking is going to mess up his inner ear. What is whaboom...i think women like mystery...but this guy's a straight up ding dong.

Okay..the moment Blake said he was a nutritionist...he was on my no list. Even though he came in with a  marching band and his snare. I don't think that snare will help him catch Rachel.

Diggy...he's got fashion and sneakers and a cool nick name..i don't see him lasting.

Whoa..we need a food stylist and decorator on this episode..what the what was going on in Josiah's home...was that place condemned? Then the shots of him doing 3 push-ups and jogging...i don't think Josiah is a runner.


So we got some back story...the the limos roll in.
Let's talk about that dress though. Too many elements and not enough natural fibres were harmed in the making of this dress...so many straps, holographic, shiny, white, marbled, mermaid meets debutante. Well...i guess she's kinda debutante-y in this episode. Why do those dresses have to be so much? The guys seem to like it..one of them yelled 'holy hot damn' in the limo.

That's funny. Must use that line.

Okay. I will. With Peter. Holy hot damn he's cute..and it's not just his gap in his teeth. SO SO Cute. I"m picking him for final 3.
Josiah...she didn't look that thrilled when he came out of the limo..but I loved his..see you later litigator comment...That made me lol. Wish there was a cute dietitian greeting. Not much rhymes with vegetable.
Bryan. cute..and asks her "have you dated a Colombian" she says no..he says something Spanish. Which is attractive...Maybe I haven't dated the right Colombian..but i'd say it's not so caliente. (Who names their Colombian kid Bryan?)
Kenny...he kissed her hand..
Rob the law student...i'd say he was an instant no. Him admitting to playing the Bachelorette fantasy pool..i think he seemed more like a fan of the show than looking for love. He said "I like that she is jovial". That made me lol.
Iganacio...while I love a guy with a lot of vowels in his name...he seemed a bit insecure to me..and his shoe game was off...or it's so fashion forward that I'm not seeing it.
Iggy..cEO has sneakers...
We had some medical professional two doctors who seemd unremarkable
Blake K..is a marine veteran..I need to ask my sister which ships were used in recent conflicts....(maybe I should watch the History channel more than catching every season of this show......)
Brad the male model literally broke the ice with large hammer. The best line of the night was when he walked in and one of the guys announced. "Thor's here". I lol'd very hard at that.
Dean...the start up recruiter..his jacket seemed so small. There's a skinny suit...then there's the 'my jacket it too small suit"
Demario...(again nice vowels:) is an exectuive recruiter and she was warned by a 'squad member" that she heard from a friend's friend that he's not here for the right reasons...tsk tsk. such gossip. He told her he's looking forward to moments with her. Then again..that might be foreshadowing that the lifespan of their relationship will be mere moments..
Fred..what was up with Fred..they had a past..of her disciplining him..but not in a good way..whah Rachel..when Rachel tries to be racey..it falls flat.
Who annoyed me more than the 'nutritionist'/aspiring drummer...the tickle monster. I dunno if it's because I hate tickling..or that he can't come up with a decent catchy title...i woulda sent him right back to the limo..if it was up to me.
Lee...confession...when I see singer/song writer i equate that to wrong reason . Like wrong reason to be on the show....for the purposes or Rachel..but maybe right reason is for him to get some recognition. Dude..you should have tried out on the Voice.
Holy hot damn again..Adam...i loved the real estate agent..not his creepy doll AJ..but there's something about Adam.
holy hot damn x3..Matt...I do heart penguins...i didn't know they mate for life..they are my favourite animal (no didn't watch the documentary..and had to learn they mate for life on the Bachelorette)..but I could tell Matt was cute. I say YES to Matt..and YES to the penguins!
When Jamey (yes that's spelled correctly) said to Rachel "this dress is ridiculous"..he meant that as a compliment?? Right? I mean ..i think it's a ridiculous dress...but not in the  that dress is 'sick' way. More the how ridiculous is defined Merriam Webster as opposed to Urban dictionary.
All I could think of when I heard Jedidiah's name...was Mariah Carey's "Honey" lyrics..."Mariah..on fiah"...not even sure what Jedidiah's story is.

That was a very lonnnngggg line up of men...but I think a lot of them will come up short.
At the cocktail party Whaboom was ridiculous (Merriam Webster), Josiah's confident proclamations made him sound less confident the more he spoke. Demario's first question to her was "n sync or bsb? Rohit looked great in his suit..but that guy was weaving and tilting. Blake the trainer/nutritionist/drummer was calling out Whaboom. The fact that Blake couldn't see the futility of that or that it was a waste of his breath..spoke volumes. Bryan (the Colombian) pulls her aside to tell her he's 37 and he's very serious...then he kisses her. With what seemed like more sucking power than the vacuum that Nick was walking around with. I think they had chemistry..but that kissing..had to avert my eyes..was embarrassed for both to them. But that sealed the deal..he got the first impression rose:)

The others were handed out to

Peter (YAY YAY YAY)
Will
Jack (adorbs)
Jamey
Iggy (why?)
Eric
Demario
Jonathan
Bryce who accepts the rose (with honour) ??
Alex (cute:)
Kenny (go Kenny!)
Dean (not sure why)
Matt
Anthony
Brady
Josiah (phew...there woulda been tears)
Lee-singer
Diggy
Fred (did the producers want her to keep him)
Adam-YESS
Blake -eww

Milton was sad..he didn't get to show his outfits..
this is going to be a great season!!!
Until next week...I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!

Plodded to a chilly romantic conclusion

So they are in a place called Rovrenini...or something like that..it sounded like Bimini.
The Viala family come to Finlad to mope  meet the final two.

Someone get that family some therapy. They keep re-hashing Nick's past while they sit in a sad circle.
The first shot of Nick's mom..she looked like she was wearing a reindeer vest or took a wall covering and fashioned it into a vest.

Rovremini (sp?) is apparently where Santa lives.  Perfect that this reality show is set on location where Santa lives...just to keep everything super real.

Sad music plays as Vanessa's vehicle approaching..is this foreshadowing or the producers trying to throw us off. Vanessa states she loves Nick..but is asking Nick's dad if love is enough...seriously..is there a psychologist in the house? Nick's dad starts crying..Vanessa doesn't do anything to comfort the dad. Maybe she's not emotionally intelligent? Where's Taylor when you need a counsellor?


Raven comes for a second  visit..they all have emptiness in their hearts...Raven states she's really sure about Nick.now i'm not sure about how sure she is..i wonder if she just isn't a critical thinker.
The family hopes Nick isn't blindsided.

The both have their last 1:1 dates.
Vanessa's is heavy..she cries.even though she got a present from Santa.
Raven seems delighted by everything Nick. Even when Nick tells Raven he cares about both women so much.

i feel that nick needs someone middle ground between Vanessa and Raven.

Decision Time...
Neil Lane comes a knowing. Nick was a little light on the selection of rings. I guess he was tired of schlepping all those rings for Nick...He doesn't even put them on a velvet display box. It's like "would you like overpriced/overvalued setting #1 or #2?

Nick picks a ring...but is he going to pick a woman?

It's proposal time..who gets out first...but Raven!!!!!! She said she didn't believe in fairy tales but she kinda had a Frozen style dress and a cloak that you'd see in a Disney movie. Chris H meets her in the cloakroom and removes her cloak before she goes to the room where Nick is waiting....
to reject her!! Whah??? I really didn't think he was going to choose Vanessa...it all seemed so heavy with Vanessa. She climbs in to the vehcile..she left her cloak behind..and starts ruminating how love doesn't work for her..and what if noone wants to love her...and not a peep about missing Nick. Fly Raven fly.

Now while Vanessa was getting ready she was remarking that she was unsure of getting engaged. Then why did she put her 1/2 fur jacket on and hustle to the proposal shack...Nick says some nice things to her, she says some nice things back..and he proposes..and she cries..YES! She puts on her fur jacket and they go on a little horse drawn sleigh ride in the cold.

Well...that was chilly...

Speaking of chilly..the air between Vanessa and Nick was not quite Frozen but it seemed  a bit frosty.
Vanessa kept saying "at the end of the day we love each other and we are working through this". It sounds a bit like breaking rocks...Not sure if the crowd was really feeling Vanessa..when she announced she would do charity work for special needs children noone really clapped..and she didn't look thrilled when she said they'd be getting married in the states.

Yeesh...if they are having such a hard time in the beginning...will this last?? Who knows..all I know is
I LOVE THIS SHOW...

and i also know the guys that Rachel met so far were super awkward. especially the guy who said he was never going back after black..
hopefully there are 21 other more promising guys..she seems way more eloquent that the 4 that appeared..

Laps around Lapland, Core Values, Naps and Let's make America Great again

Speaking of naps, i think my butt fell asleep after being glued to the couch for 3 hours.
THREE HOURS.
We are back at Lapland..where Raven proclaims "Nick is really good at what he does"..and she skips around town and high fives people and kisses inanimate objects.
Like a female Viagra commercial.

We have two dates left.
Rachel-well.we all know that Rachel is going to be the Bachelorette..so not that interesting a date to watch. All the women wore toques with big pom-poms which validates my toque with a huge pom pom. But Rachel and Nick go cross country skiing...and then go for a reindeer ride. With reindeer that looked like they had their antlers strapped on.
Nick spends the night...he makes breakfast and then says "I have to pack up and get ready" ..for another date. This show really must be crazy making.

Vanessa.
Vanessa has core values. That is clear. What they are is unclear. All I know is that she has family dinner on Sunday. Does that mean her core value is not cooking for herself on Sunday.that she only spends 3 hours with her family on Sunday? Nick says he's not traditional and isn't sure they will jive but later says he likes that she has values, but that compromise is important and he didn't have it in his last relationship (i wonder if it was with the woman he ran into in Wisconsin). I'm betting that Nick is trying to say he doesn't wan to be bossed around but is prone to it. Oh, one of her values is that being engaged is like being married..she only wants to do it once.
Their date involves alternating hot and ice baths. Kinda like Vanessa..she's hot and she's cold, she's yes and she's no...we're still not sure if she's in or out.

She is in for the Fantasy overnight date AND for telling Nick that she loves him.
Why did Nick have such a big pocket his sweater..it was like a cargo sweater. Speaking of sweaters..Vanessa wore a belted sweater that looked like a blanket with an attempt at cinching at the waist. Not flattering..holy smokes..Vanessa does looking smoking hot in a Finnish one piece. They are both patriotic and having discussions about who would move. Nick said he'd do anything for the woman he loves, but he's a proud American.

They spend the night together..Vanessa is in love and she says dreams come true.

Rose Ceremony
Raven wears a black dress...pretty uninspiring for someone who owns a clothing store. (why was she holding a white piece of paper?)
I'm not sure what Rachel wore except for the neckpiece.
Vanessa wore a dress that resembles the Emoji flamenco dancer. It was such a party at the bottom.

Rachel goes home...and she says she's back at square one..when we know square one is the the hosed down rock tiles of the Bachelorette mansion. She says everyone tells her how amazing she is..but it always ends like this.


Women Tell All (WTA)
I usually don't blog about the WTA because I'm too busy saying WTF.  It typically is a bunch of women being angry at each other and the common denominator is that it's about a guy that doesn't choose them.
My big take away is that I think hoops are coming back (that and i like the term slob kebab..although people from the Middle East might take it as a slight as kebabs are typically quite tidy). I kinda felt like girl from Wisconsin in the white tried really hard to make a statement in her white plunging pantsuit which was killer and required double sided tape and she likely paid so much money to make her hair whiter..and she didn't say a word.
The mental health counsellor was feelings so many feels and was upset that her career was affected. It was ironic that she wasn't exhibiting emotional intelligence yet defined it for 'Merica. Chris Harrison-who i think has incredible emotional intelligence had to point out that neither Taylor nor Corinne are talking to each other.
Corinne was unapologetic. I loved her lipstick. I"m betting it was a multistick from Bite Beauty. What I give Corinne high fives for is bringing gluten and dairy back to mainstream. Yet Taylor wouldn't take a bite from the dish that was handed to her. Taylor is intolerant of so many things.

True colours...
Kristina bleeding red white and blue was way too much. Kristina recounting her sad story of the orphanage and the teacher telling her that Russian living would be black and white and in the U S of A it would be many colours...seemed like the ABC network's way of invigorating some type of national pride. I wonder if Trump and Putin are watching. Kristina told her some orphanage friends have gotten in touch with her...someone I"m doubting the the Bachelor will be filming in Moscow anytime soon.

Speaking of a non-story.Rachel is the new Bachelorette...and hey she's black....and Chris pointed this out to her...Rachel takes this as an honour and she's humbled.  Seems like the show is trying to hard to unite..not that unity is terrible but it's so overt.

What got my eyeballs rolling is how excited all the girls got that Rachel might find her husband....and Astrid also piped up "We'll take your leftovers".  Two days before International Women's Day..this show has a far far way to go.

I'm  not googling Bachelor Spoiler alerts..but it seems like Nick doesn't pick anyone....Typically Chris asks on the WTA if the Bachelor is happy. Chris doesn't do that. Or maybe Nick shows up on Rachel's season.
Until next week, I LOVE THIS SHOW