The almost hometowns: Much ado about nothing

Yawwwwn.
This was the episode to miss.
Well Prague was pretty. That's about it. Emily had some Eastern Bloc gangsta chic going on.

This is what happened-

Shocking controversy
Arie dated before Emily.
Isn't it shocking that people have a dating past?
No it isn't.
NBD.


The episode was so boring that I was struck by the similarity of bachelors t-shirts. It looked like they were Bachelor issue. While they were sitting around (they do a lot of sitting around and talkingin  a semi-circle on this show) I noticed they had the same t-shirts but in different colour. And they all had the same slight V-neck, but in an assortment of colours.


First date Arie.
Well...Arie loves Croatia..and not just because Croatia is AWESOME, but that's where he fell in love with Emily...Yep. Arie and Emily discuss the issue off camera of him dating someone 2 years before Emily who happens to be a producer..and they kiss and make up.
Weird wardrobe choice #1: She had some weird eastern european cougar top on...not that Emily is a cougar and I have disdain for the word cougar..but I think I have more disdain for the concept and well to be frank becoming one..but back to her top..it was visible leopard print and it was sequiny. those two styles in extreme moderation could be passable, but ensembly...it spells bad taste.



Dear John
You know ever since last episode I think he would get a dear john letter. John and Emily had a date..and they had a dungeon date so that Emily could 'go a little deeper' with John. Nope. Subtley with metaphor and clothing choices are lost on this show. I could not see their connection.  John shared another sad story of someone cheating on him. Sad yes. A stellar move that inspires confidence. Not so much. The weirdest thing was when he recalled the night he couldn't get ahold of his girlfriend, so he called hospitals and...prisons? Whah? She's so not trustworthy that she may be a felon. This was going downhilll fast and they were already in a dungeon.The body language was screaming...No chemistry. I think John kissed Emily from about 1 m away-showing his superior hip flexion and that he has an issue with body proximity. He comes home from the date thinking all is swell. Question: Why is his middle name Wolf...and he's a data destruction specialist. He must have a seriously dangerous paper shredder.


I thought John was a little out of sorts..but I think being under house arrest made Sean crack a little so that he ran through the streets of Prague to find Emily. How would he find her? Call me lazy but I would have just turned and asked the cameraperson. Perhaps he's crazy in love. Well...he found her! And they shared a brewski and talked about love. How romantic. Love and Beer. Perhaps love and de beers...but I would never put love and beer in the same sentence.

Meanwhile..Chris is unravelling. John is telling everyone how awesome the date was...sometimes delusion is helpful. He's going on the triple date. Doug the dad gets sent home...does an unflattering cry in the limo. But is the crying really for Emily or is it more of a lament for himself. I think the latter.
To get a wee philosophical-so many of the guys talk about how Emily makes them feel great about themselves...so is it Emily they need or perhaps some ego enhancement.

What does 'daylight and a dollar short' mean? I don't like cliches when I understand them, even less when I don't get them.

Back at the Prague guest house, Jeff, Jon and Arie are sitting around and talking about roses. It seemed a bit funny....like me sitting with my friends talking about car wax.

Jef date.
I liked the little flap Jef had on his jeans.
Weird wardobe #2 what was Emily's footwear about? Looks like she needed to detangle and comb her boots before going out. Speaking of detangling-they got marionettes and did a puppet show about their love story. I thought I was witnessing some child therapy session. I think Jef told her he loves Emily with his marionette.
They lie down on the library floor and look at the ceiling and talk about getting married and starting a family. Then he said something to her that required bleeping.

Rose Ceremony
Chris is going to talk to Emily at the cocktail party. Wrong! Emily made up her mind.
Weird Wardrobe choice #3 the cellophane dress. It looked like blue shiny gift wrap. Mind you.not everyone can look great in cellophane...gotta give it up for Emily
When Chris announces no cocktail party-Chris starts to sweat.
The Rose Ceremony..Emily hand out roses as predicted Jef, Arie..now....cut to Chris saying he needs to talk to Emily. he talks about how worthy she is and how he is right for her. I think it's entirely unnecessary...but I think Chris started to believe John.
And the final rose goes to....Chris!!!
John is in disbelief..he's likely the only one. The good thing is that he doesn't think that it is him...but something that Chris said.

And off John goes hoping to find his Cinderalla..well Wolf man....go destroy some data.

Next week...hometowns!!!!
Until next week...I love this show...

Dobro dosli u Hrvatsku!!!!! Welcome to Croatia!!!!!

On the heels of the Croatia's sad sad loss to Spain-having the Bachelorette in Dubrovnik made a day a week better.  I catch the Bachelorette in time to catch Travis having his dupa (ass) dumped in Dubrovnik, speaking of ass- i was getting kicked albeit in a meditative way at yoga.

Dovidenja (until we see eachother again) Travis. Well Travis was mighty upset. So upset that he.....tossed his umbrella when it was raining. Hmm littering at a UNESCO site- littering is never cool, save for a heritage site.

I settle in for the group date excited to see what Croatian date will  unfold. Well the geniuses (or genii?) decide for the ultimate authentic experience-a Disney Pixar preview followed by Highland games? Whah? Even if the producers don't have the good fortune of knowing a Croat someone in ABC land could Wiki it? Eeek. They coulda rode a magarac (well actually they did end up doing that), played soccer, handball,  did shots of slivovica, learned to dance Lindo, made sarma, kulen or cevape, vino or olive oil or be seranded by tamburasi..but nooooo produce placement won out. But.the Disney Pixar movie and highland games it was..and they imported a Scotsman. Sigh. disappointing. I'm happy that Chris won the bravery award. I liked his zeal and effort. I still am on the fence whether I find him good looking-sometimes he's exceptionally so..and sometimes he looks awkward..ah well..don't we all:)
Sean...sigh...the guy that broke the big log by throwing it:) Sigh...I wish I could watch that over and over. Sean is dreamy for a blonde guy:)

Arie takes the lead by taking Emily for a walk..and does a romantic wall kiss. Nicely done. Jef..I waffle about him...some times he looks prepubescent..and then sometimes he's eloquent and self assured. He has done remarkably well at keeping his hair coiffed and voluminous in the elements.
Chris gets the rose on that date! Woot! I'm hearting Chris..actually I feel like I'm developing  a few connections with the guys. Alas..not my journey...back to the reality that its a reality show.

Next. Ryan. Gets the one on one date. The guys are not overly fond of Ryan's very precise grooming habits of leg shaving and finger hair plucking. Ryan takes the wheel to drive away on the date...pissing many Croat drivers off.did you hear how many honks he got...and I'm certain it's not because they were fans of the Bacheor program.

Ah shucks. They're off to get oysters. Please allow me..but I did try oysters for the first time in Dubrovnik and they were mightly tasty and more palatable than I imagined..but Emily didn't like him..and the Croat on the boat..told her to spitthem out:) Ryan encouraged her to eat them for the aphrodiasic quality. She chose to spit. I say that was foreshadowing:0)

After that they change and Emily looks a little bit like a trophy I must say..a bit like an Oscar really. Props to her for walking on those slippery stone streets in heels.Ryan kept bringing out the trophy reference. I can't speak about how much disdain I have for him. Idid learn that he likes to write. This time he wrote a list!! of 12 things! That he wants:)

Emily surprises me. She actually does seem genuine and self assured. I loved that she said that he makes her feel like she needs to be perfect, and that she noted his top things don't match hers. I totally give her credit for breaking up with him despite feeling chemistry. And she did have me thinking that Ryan was going to sway her and try to convince her to give him that rose. How awesome that she didn't!!!! I enjoyed his soliloquy in the car...and his main concern that the producers don't make him look arrogant. Not much in there about Emily.

Rose Ceremony. What was up with Emily's dress? What was that made of ? Recycled juice boxes? and the odd strap across the back. Odd.
There's a Hail Mary and Emily decides to award an extra rose. I thought both John and Doug were going down!! Either the producers are stellar or Emily is full of suprises.

I say Zivjeli (cheers) to Emily...and on to Prague..
until next week...ja volim ovaj program!! (I love this show!!!)